IF SHE WANTED a fight, I’d give her a fight.

Even broken and living in eternal damnation, I would happily leap off the bed and chase her if she so much as looked at the door.

Compared to the agony she’d injected into my cock, my body could shut the fuck up. Sex wasn’t just a pastime to indulge in anymore; it was my cure.

Literally, figuratively—every way I needed.

“Naked. Now, Pim.”

Nibbling on her lower lip, she slowly nodded.

Despite my urgent desire, my show of strength and belief at being able to pounce on her was as fictional as my ability to fly.

Only, she doesn’t need to know that.

As far as Pim was concerned, I was one hundred percent better and in total control of my faculties.

Inhaling like wary prey, she grabbed the hem of her top and pulled it over her head. Bare breasts beckoned: perfectly rounded flesh with pert pink nipples.

The agony in my cock grew to mind-seizing discomfort.

It hadn’t escaped my notice that she was no longer in her Bruised by Beauty gown. It lay discarded and torn over a chair—almost a voyeur to us now.

I hated to think of her showering in this place, eating in this place, talking to the people living in this place while I’d slept like a fool.

What conversations and experiences had she enjoyed without me? Had she talked about me? How long exactly had we been here?

My questions vanished as Pim’s fingers drifted to her waistband and undid the button before slipping the zipper down. She didn’t mean to be a seductive minx, but fuck, everything about her was seductive.

I couldn’t look away as she inched the denim down her legs.

Once again, no underwear.

My breath caught as I feasted on how drop-dead gorgeous she was. How her hips had filled out and formed curves instead of edges. How her body had strengthened and showed muscle instead of bones.

“Christ, you’re beautiful.” I patted the mattress. “Get into bed.”

Climbing up, she lay down smoothly beside me. She moved like water while I jerked like machinery. She was healed, and I was wounded. The stark contrast to how it was when we first met scrambled my thoughts.

Rolling onto her side, she pressed her hand against my bandaged chest. “I can’t stop comparing this to when we first met.”

A smile tugged my lips. “Me, too. It was hard for me to be gentle with you while, at the same time, I wanted to do anything to protect you.” I reached out and traced a fingertip over her shoulder. “Even if it meant protecting you from myself.”

“I feared you at the beginning but not because of what you would do to me.” She shivered as I ran my touch down her arm.

“Why were you afraid?”

She blushed. “I feared what you made me feel. I was weak to want to end my life, but I could forgive myself for it as long as I felt nothing. But then you went and made me feel everything.”

Gritting my teeth against agony, I shifted as much as I could onto my side. With painful limbs and useless fingers, I clamped my hand on her hipbone and pulled her into me.

Our skin connected.

Our lust ignited.

We shuddered as lust trampled over our desire for talking. “I want to feel you, Pim.” My hand cupped her breast. Soft, beautiful…mine. “I want to—” I couldn’t finish, crashing my lips against hers.

She liquefied in my arms as her mouth opened.

No hesitation.

No refusal.

She kissed me back as hard as I kissed her. Sharing body heat, sharing electricity, sharing all the things we knew and felt.

It was the best kind of fantasy.

Was I dreaming? Was I awake? Having Pim in my arms, thrusting against her soft belly and dipping my tongue into her sweet mouth felt real, but was it?

Does it matter?

All that mattered was it felt so goddamn good.

With my heart pounding and my injuries flaring hot, I pressed Pim as tight as I could against me.

Nothing between us.

Nothing stopping us.

Her lips moved beneath mine, matching me lick for lick.

Our bodies listened to the same song, hardening me, softening her, preparing us for something primal and true.

I groaned under my breath as my need grew. I’d never been so sensitive in my life.

Our noses brushed as we kissed faster, deeper, diving into the cyclone we’d created. Our legs tangled, and I didn’t care about the pain in my ankle or shoulder or any other piece of me.

All I cared about was her.

She’d worshipped me by washing me. She’d understood my need to wipe away the grime without me admitting the level of exhaustion I battled. I hadn’t had to confess or ask for help and reveal my worst nightmare of looking weak.

She’s perfect.

Clutching her harder, our teeth clacked together.  

She smelled different. She smelled of this place. It tore me apart to think of her on her own, defending me when I should’ve been fulfilling that role.

Did he talk to her?

Did the asshole who shot me dare speak to my woman?

Jealousy mixed with desire, robbing me of peace. I shifted, wedging my leg between hers. “I missed you.”

Her eyes snapped closed. “I’ve always been here.”

“I need you to remember me.”

“I never forgot you.” She groaned as I rocked higher, rubbing against her clit.

“I shouldn’t do this.” I kissed her fast, deep. “I should stop.”

“Yes…you should.” Her breathlessness didn’t match the grasping demand of her fingers. “You’re not well enough.”

“Don’t tell me what I already know.” Removing my thigh, I lowered my hand between her legs.

I found her instantly.

Drenched and scorching, she clamped her legs instinctively around my wrist as I plunged a finger inside her. “Nothing can stop me from having you, though.”

“God, El.” Her head fell back as I drove upward, filling her body and thoughts of me.

I knew what arguments she wanted to deliver. I argued the same thing even as I ignored common-sense. I shouldn’t undertake anything that would drain me of what little energy I had left. Everything pounded. Everything hurt.

One moment I was hot, the next I was cold.

I was lightheaded and heavy with pain.

If I was smarter, I would swallow more painkillers and rest. This was a terrible, terrible idea, yet I couldn’t stop.

Arching my hand, I relished in her moan. “Could a sick man make you feel like this?” I inserted a second finger, stretching her, touching her deep. “Could a broken man get so fucking hard for you?” I thrust against her leg while feathering my fingers inside her.

She convulsed, lips wide, eyes tight.

“Answer me, Pim.” I rolled my thumb on her clit, attacking her with sensation.

She moaned, her forehead crashing against my shoulder as her body squeezed around my invasion. “No, he couldn’t.”

“So I’m capable of fucking you?” I grabbed her chin with my free hand, holding her prone for a depraved kiss while my fingers worked deep.

“Yes!” she cried beneath my lips. “God, yes.”

“Good answer.”

I wished I could take her once—just once to ease the frustration at having her stolen from me.

But one wasn’t a pretty number.

It was single and straight and ugly.

Three was a much prettier sum with its curves and hollows.

Sex for me wasn’t a normal endeavour just like most things in my life—constantly hounded by that cruel number three. I wished I had another trick to tame my crazy brain.

But I didn’t.

And tonight was even worse because I was exhausted and didn’t have self-control. Pim wasn’t entirely safe around me just like I wasn’t entirely safe around her.

But none of that mattered anymore.

“I need you.” The gruffness of my voice rasped across the softness of her skin.

Her breath hitched, eyes heated. “You have me.”

“I want you in every possible way.”

“Name it. I’ll do it.”

Positions and filthy commands dripped off the tip of my tongue, but for once, I stayed within my limitations.

I would fuck her.

But I would make her do all the work.

“Get on top of me.” Withdrawing my fingers, I rolled gingerly onto my back. My shoulder screamed, pain tugging at torn ligaments. With an agonised snarl, I placed my arm over my belly, discomfort from my elbow joining in the screaming.

It almost overshadowed the thick demand in my cock.

Almost.

Christ, how the hell did I beat up Mercer with this body?

Had I dreamed that, too?

Pim winced on my behalf as I shifted, doing my best to find relief from the drumming, cymbal-smashing pain in my ankle—deciding to join in the symphony from my elbow and shoulder.

Whatever adrenaline I’d been swimming in rapidly faded.

Her hand fluttered on my chest. “Perhaps we should—”

“Don’t.” Grabbing her wrist, I pulled her until she sprawled over me. The slipperiness of her body on mine made the pain fade a little.

If I could stay focused on her, I could do this.

“I need to be inside you.”

With worry and obedience, she placed her hands on the mattress and pushed up. Spreading her legs, the flash of her wet pussy drove me insane as she did what she’d done on the floor of Hawksridge and prepared to ride me.

Unlike that time—when I’d grabbed myself and lined up to spear inside her—she clutched my length and jutted me upright. She remembered my lesson when I was bound and helpless in the hotel in Monte Carlo.

She knew how to take me, and I gave up all control.

I trembled as she angled over me then slowly, teasingly lowered.

We stopped breathing; both watching the delicious sight of her body enveloping mine.

Christ…

I’d wanted to take her, but she undoubtedly took me.

In every fucking way.

My back arched as finally a better sensation overrode my agony. I focused on the heat of her body, the snugness of being inside her, and the righteousness of being home where I belonged.

She moaned as she slid the final distance, locking herself around me like a key in a lock. My fingers dug into her hips, pressing her down, ensuring no space, no distance, nothing left between us.

We joined as tight as we could. Her clit on my belly. My balls against her ass. Our breathing just as wild as if we’d been fucking for hours and not just connected.

Pinning me in place with sex-feverish eyes, Pim folded over me and placed her hands on the pillow beneath my head. Her breasts hung heavily, taunting me to devour.

She rocked once.

My head sloshed. My brain begged. My body bellowed.

It was the worst, best, most confusing cocktail I’d ever experienced.

Pain and pleasure. Sickness and sex. I couldn’t tell if I hated or loved it. One thing I knew…I could become utterly addicted to the rush.

I grew harder, clamping my legs together, fighting off the sudden spine-tingling ripple of an orgasm.

Her face strained with concentration as if determined to finish me quickly to avoid any unnecessary drain. Her own orgasm etched into her skin, revealing how much she wanted this, despite her worry.

Knowing she was as close as I was whispered for me to let go. To give in now. To come immediately. I was greedy to release. Already my fractured mind wanted to finish so it could start all over again. It wasn’t satisfied. It wanted to claim that beautiful number three—to devour Pim until she was nothing but a ragdoll in my arms, then be worthy enough to fall asleep.

Sleep…

My vision wavered as a wash of weakness found me. Even heavy lust couldn’t protect me from the demanding wooziness.

No.

I wouldn’t be inside this woman and pass out.

I couldn’t be that selfish.

My good hand dug harder into her hipbone, pulling her forward then pushing her back in a time-old rhythm.

She obeyed, fucking me deep and slow. The obstruction of her body hit the tip of my cock. I stared at her flat belly, awed that I was so far inside her. I wanted to press against her middle and feel myself thrusting. I wanted to flip her over and drive vicious and unforgiving.

I wanted so much, but for now…all I could do was lie back and belong to her.

She moved again, no longer seeking my guidance on speed. Her hips undulated to her own pace. She looked so fucking sexy, I fought another wave of release.

Her eyes flared as she swelled around me, mirroring my battle not to come.

Our gaze locked and we smiled, recognising the brittle rope we walked, desperate for it to snap but terrified of the fall.

A touch of savagery filled her, freezing me at how goddamn gorgeous she was. How multi-layered and unconquerable.  How capable. How complex. How kind. But most of all, I loved this—this moment where it was just us. No more pretending. No more history or hardship or horrors. No masks.

We saw each other.

She was a hellcat, and I was the devil, and together we played in Hell.

Her skin slicked with sweat; my heartbeat a revving engine in my ears.

There was nothing else but us.

Digging my fingernails into her flesh, I increased her rhythm, commanding her to fuck a little faster, rock a little harder, push a little deeper.

She licked her lips, her fingers clutching the pillow as she obeyed. “Okay…” she breathed, giving herself over. “Okay…” Her eyes fluttered as her body pulsed around me.

Fuck, the added heat.

The extra thrill.

The razor-sharp whip of no longer being in control.

I can’t…

Denied pleasure shot down my spine, knocked on my bones, and bubbled in my wounds. My belly tightened as tingles and tangles snarled and snapped, wrapping around my balls and jettisoning into my cock.

“Pim!” My strangled warning was the only thing I could give.

My world blacked out.

I lost sight, touch, sound as everything zeroed in on the electric waves of release.

Over and over, I spurted into my woman, clamping my hands on her so she had no escape—no choice but to accept every drop.

Instead of slowing down, instead of giving me a chance to apologise and return the bone-crumpling orgasm, she growled a kitten growl and reached behind her and clutched my balls.

“Holy Christ—” My mouth tore wide as my release turned cruel with ferocity. There was no land, no finish line, no end. Just a knife called Orgasm, slashing at my insides, making me bleed pure pleasure.

She treated me as her conquest. She knew me too well—sending me into a brutal tailspin.

My feet dug into the mattress as I climbed further into her, snarling at the ceiling and the agonising ecstasy she gave.

Maybe she secretly hated me and this was how she’d devised my murder. Or maybe she fucking loved me and wanted to give me the best goddamn release I’d ever had.

Either way, I came and came and came.

And when I had nothing left, I flopped onto the bed—a drenched, gasping buffoon who no longer had a clue who he was.

I was her slave for life. I was nothing if I didn’t have her.

For a few wonderful moments, I was numb and beyond content. My heart calmed, my mind quieted, and I basked in the aftermath of being so fucking in love with this girl.

I cupped her cheek, guiding her down to kiss her.

Our lips touched gently, our tongues soft and sweet. She sighed into me, draping herself like a hot blanket. I cuddled her close, tasting her, thanking her.

But then the familiar curse rapped on my thoughts. A whisper, a command—an unignorable shout for more.

My fingers looped around the back of her neck, kissing her harder, doing my best to stay in this sweet, simple moment. I fumbled beneath her, desperate for something to grab so I didn’t drown beneath the rapidly building shout.

More.

More.

Wrung dry and mostly dead, I wanted to slip into exhaustion. I wished I was normal where the addiction to reach that pretty, perfect number wasn’t strong enough to override the anaesthesia licking through my blood from the best orgasm I’d ever had.

But I wasn’t strong enough.

I was undone in the worst possible way.

At my weakest.

At my most susceptible to addiction.

And Pim wasn’t aware of the mind space she’d shoved me into. If she knew, perhaps she would’ve climbed off me and stayed away. She would’ve saved my life by stopping me from destroying myself.

But she didn’t climb off me. She didn’t stop. She fucking ruined me by sitting up and using the same fingers that’d grabbed my balls to circle her clit and shed any remainders of her past.

She used me.

She took me.

She fucked me while touching herself just like I’d fantasied all these months.

All I could do was watch and crave and give in to the rapidly building electricity crackling down my spine.

And when she came.

Fuck me.

She annihilated me.

I had no anchor. I was in a sea of sickness. Drowning beneath fever and pain. The strange ingredients of injuries and sex once again threw me overboard. All I could see through the blackness was her.

I couldn’t fight it.

I’d never been able to fight it.

With her lips wide and eyes glazed, Pim found her perfect ending, and with a scream that tore my heart from my chest, she gave in. Digging her nails into my brutalised body, granting another layer of pain, she rode me hard and rough—completely uncaring as she chased her own pleasure.

I begged for change.

I wished I could watch her come and be finished with this.

I wanted to rest.

I needed to rest before I passed out cold again.

But my body launched itself after her like a killer after its chosen, filling my blood with lava, bubbling with the ability to come again. The pounding agony and painful wisps in my brain didn’t stand a chance.

“Fuck!” I jolted with every fever-tinted wave, mixing agony with blissful, heaven with hell.

I hated it.

I loved it.

I would die if I had any more if it.

But my body was determined to kill me, ratcheting the intensity with every ripple of release.

I clamped my eyes closed as I lost track of east and west, up and down.

On and on, I came.

And when I finally jerked and groaned, drained within breaths of passing out, Pim made to move off me.

Oh, hell no.

The cycle wasn’t complete. She couldn’t be permitted to leave.

In reality, I should help her. I should throw her as far away from me as possible. But I wasn’t myself. I was nothing but addiction and two was nearly as ugly as one.

It wasn’t three.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” I locked my hands on her hips. “We’re not done.”

“You’re fading between sleep and awake, El. I think we should stop.”

“We can’t.” Already the compulsion was back, riding my body, keeping me painfully hard.

Blackness erased the room for a second. I blinked, bringing everything that mattered back into the light.

I need to sit up.

I had to keep my brain alive just for a little longer—after that…who cares.

Digging my heels into the bed, I braced against excruciating pain. “Move with me. Don’t let me slip out.”

“What are you—”

“Just do it.”

With her lips pressed together, she nodded and took her weight, hovering over me on her knees with my cock still firmly impaled inside her.

I wedged my fists into the mattress and hoisted upward.

Holy shit.

I blacked out for another second, shaking my head to rid the cloying stars. It took every bit of remaining energy, but I managed to haul myself up the bed and lean haphazardly against the bedhead.

Pim slipped down my length the moment I stopped.

I panted as if I’d swam the Pacific Ocean. Sweat ran down my face. My heart double beat with warning, but I ignored all of it.

All I could do was obey the conniving, destroying chant to finish this.

Unable to catch my breath, I cupped her chin. “You’re so beautiful after you’ve just come.”

Bringing her mouth to mine, I kissed her. I grew harder, my body already in the process of preparing itself for the final call.

She kissed me back, her pussy clutching in gentle rhythm as if encouraging me to take her one last time.

Kissing my way to her ear, I whispered, “You’re beautiful, but right now, I need you to turn around.”

She froze. “What?”

“You heard me.” I spun my finger in the air. “Spin on my cock. Face away.”

“Why?”

For a moment, I worried she had bad memories associated with this position. But I couldn’t have her facing me, watching me, seeing how far I was about to fall.

I barely clung to lucidity. Another orgasm was bound to knock me straight into unconsciousness.

I knew the risks, yet I had no choice.

I didn’t need to fuck her while staring at her judgement.

Gritting my teeth against those damn swirling stars, I snapped, “It doesn’t matter why. I told you to turn.” I pushed her shoulder. “So turn.”

Her eyes dove into mine, seeing past my false strength and reading my ragged truth.

“Whatever you need, El.” Her voice switched to a soothing murmur, “But afterward, you’re resting. We shouldn’t have done this, and you’re not touching me again until you’re able to walk out of here.”

Conversation was a waste of time.

Nothing else was as important as a perfect trio of orgasms.

I nodded sharply. “Deal.” Anything to get her to obey so I could come one last time. Shit, I’d make a deal with anyone about anything if it promised a third release. If it meant perfect symmetry.

“Show me how you want me.” Raising her leg, she waited for me to adjust her on my lap, spinning her while staying on my cock. I helped, keeping my touch as gentle as I could when really, I wanted to rush her into the right position as fast as possible.

We never disengaged; I shuddered against the delicious sensation of her body corkscrewing around mine.

I hardened even more, throbbing with unbearable need.

I’d lost touch with who I was and everything that mattered.

I was nothing more than a victim to exhaustion, loopy with pain and woozy with fever.

My temper frayed. My patience buried beneath selfishness.

I didn’t even have enough kindness to thank her as she settled back onto my cock with her back arched and shoulder blades stark like wings.

Reaching forward, I stopped being human and gave myself over to the addictive creature inside. My fingers turned to claws as I dragged them down her back to the swell of her ass. The spear of my cock vanished into her body, glistening from angry desire.

I was angry.

Fucking furious.

Livid at myself for what I was.

I thrust, driving her forward. She moaned, her head lolling, hair falling over her shoulder, giving me a perfect view of the beads of her spine and scars that would forever remind me of where she’d come from.

I was no better than him.

I thrust.

No better than an animal.

I thrust.

She would hate me.

I thrust.

She would curse me.

I thrust.

She would pity me for being this screwed up.

I thrust and thrust and thrust.

As Pim bounced on my cock, the pain in my ankle marched to a war beat, the pounding in my shoulder intensified, and my elbow, ribs, bones, and finger all added a chorus to the worst song I’d ever heard.

Pain.

Just crippling, horrible pain.

My body’s last attempt to prevent me from draining myself past survivable.

But I couldn’t stop.

I could only gasp for air and throw myself into the agony because pleasure lurked there, too. Pleasure wrapped around the perfect beauty of three.

And something happened.

A buzzing.

A purring.

First in my head, then in my ears, my fingers, my toes, my legs, my torso.

Everywhere.

A thick vibration distorting my pain to new wavelengths. My adrenaline switched to endorphins, my anger evolved to relief.

The humming grew louder, living behind my eyes, dancing in my veins, taking every chemical in my bloodstream and turning it into a toxic cocktail I couldn’t avoid drinking.

My eyes lost their ability to focus.

My mind lost its ability to think.

I became lost to nothing.

Nothing but Pim and what she was doing to me.

My head fell back against the headboard as I floated—up, up away, away, leaving pain behind until only one thing remained.

Pim and how incredible she made me feel.

I was serene.

I was happy.

I no longer had to fight…anything.

And on the heels of such potent serenity came thick, thick need. Lust amplified as pain de-magnified. My gunshot shoulder and distended elbow no longer had government as I wrapped my arms around Pim and tugged her back to lie against my chest.

She moaned as I bit her neck, her head thrown back, her hair sticking to my bandages, her skull pressing against my stitches.

Yet I felt none of it.

My eyes were utterly useless now—just blackness and buzzing. I closed them as syrup filled my head with yet more dopamine and chemicals.

I’d never endured anything like this. Never swam in arousal so inviting, so intoxicating.

I had no power whatsoever.

I forgot who I was.

I forgot sentences and speech.

I forgot where we were and why any of that shit mattered.

I became one purpose.

One nucleus.

Come.

The moment I thought it, I was done for.

Come.

I sparked and fizzed like a live wire. Thick, thick heat. Delicious, delicious wetness.

The electricity increased until it spat and crackled, dangerous and demonic in my veins. I shivered and gasped as the pain I’d escaped from shot into all areas and became one blazing phenomenon.

Red.

Hot.

Blistering.

Too much.

Too intense.

Too perfect.

It was addicting.

Better than any joint.

Deeper than any drug.

I was mad with it.

Obsessed with it.

And fuck, I’m coming.

And unlike all the times before, I smelled colours, I felt sight, I heard sensation.

I was in a wormhole of space where stars and asteroids pummelled me to pieces.

I spun and swam and shouted in the vast void of nothing.

And then, it was over.

Murmurs and words drifted over me like droplets, sending my mind reeling with pictures of oceans and wetness. I wanted to swim. I wanted to cool down. I wanted to stretch and give in to the calm serenity.

But then something was tugging me, reclining me, rolling me onto my side and wedging itself into my embrace.

I opened my eyes, but the wonky world of nothing came back. I tried to speak but the incomprehensive world of language avoided me.

I buried my face into the strands of silk in front of me. I cupped the soft mountains on the cliff’s side I clung to.

More sounds. More mewls. More words I didn’t understand.

I might not comprehend, but I did recognise the voice.

The woman I loved.

The girl I wanted more than anything.

The soul I would never let go.

“I don’t know where you are or what’s happened, El, but rest now.” Tears echoed. “Please be okay.”

My brain rearranged nonsensical into something I remembered.

Language.

Why was this goddess sad?

I wanted to ask her, but my tongue wouldn’t work.

My heart slowed.

My mind blanketed.

I inhaled the rich scent of the woman I’d killed for and then…nothing.