Bryan
How in the hell had I gotten myself into this mess?
We were sitting in the car, parked in front of an adult novelty store, of all places. Now, I wasn’t a prude or anything. I’d bought lots of stuff online before. I’d just never shopped in one…like in person. It wasn’t as if I could walk into one near campus and buy the stuff that I needed without people noticing. Let’s face it, not many places sold diapers and bottles.
I think Mad was waiting for me to remember how to breathe because we were just sitting in the car and he was holding my hand. The business was on the edge of town so I wasn’t worried about people seeing us. I just wasn’t ready to get out of the car yet. Maybe not ever.
Worrying about people seeing me seemed silly when I thought about it rationally. We were an hour away from home, in the complete opposite direction of school. The chances of knowing anyone in there were incredibly slim. Still. We were going to go in there and shop for a cock ring!
“Breathe, B. I know this is different, but I want you to take a deep breath and calm down.”
Mad’s calm, stern daddy voice pushed away some of the panic. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to do it. If I was honest, I’d have to admit that it was exciting in a naughty, sexy way. It felt so out there and open. For someone who’d always kept his kink quietly hidden, this was like shouting it from the rooftops. Well, maybe not like that, but it was a lot to take in.
“Baby, I want you to tell me your biggest fear about this. What are you worried about?”
That no-nonsense voice told me that he wasn’t going to take “I don’t know” for an answer. “Um…I…um, I guess…” What was I most afraid of? “My first thought was that they’d know what I liked and what I wanted. Then I realized that yeah, they were going to guess some of it but they probably see weirder stuff than two guys buying a cock ring all the time.”
Mad nodded, letting me continue to talk it out. “The idea of having to answer questions about what I want makes my skin crawl. I know if you’re going to be Daddy in there then I don’t have to worry about that. You’re going to take care of me and handle that kind of stuff.”
He squeezed my hand and gave me a nod but stayed silent, patiently listening to me. “Just walking in is kind of freaky. I’ve bought stuff online but never in front of people. They’re going to think I’m stupid for being shy or embarrassed. They’re going to think I’m an idiot or like not functional or something.”
I paused. I think that was my biggest issue. We both knew that I couldn’t always control my reactions, especially when I was overwhelmed. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go in. I liked looking at toys online and I liked the idea of making love with Mad and not being able to come. That was ridiculously hot.
“I’m worried about what they’ll think.” That was probably the root of most of my fears. “I’m ready, Daddy. Let’s go.”
“Why are you ready now, Baby?” He seemed more curious than skeptical.
“Because you’re what matters and not what anyone else thinks. I’m going to lose my nerve once we walk in the door, but I want to do this with you.” He leaned over and gave me a quick kiss.
“I won’t let anyone be mean to you or judge us. If someone says anything, we leave. We’ll buy stuff online,” he paused and his smile got wicked, “and just make sure it’s shipped overnight.” His fingers started trailing over my leg sending shivers up my spine. “I don’t want to wait too long.”
All I could do was nod and blush, but he chuckled. “All right, Baby, let’s go.”
He climbed out of the car and came around to open my door. As I started easing back into my role, Daddy doing that for me made perfect sense. I also needed him to give me a little push. I knew that taking his hand and walking in would help do that. Worst case scenario, he could drag me out. I was almost positive that it wouldn’t come to that, though.
Daddy opened the door and crouched down beside the car, resting his hands on my legs. “Baby? Look at me.” He waited until I was steadier and paying attention before he continued in a serious, almost formal tone. “I’m your Daddy and your Dom. I’m in charge when we go in. You won’t have to answer any questions or make any decisions. That is my responsibility. All you have to do is behave and be a good boy. I don’t expect you to hide your reactions or hide who we are. Just be yourself and it will be fine.”
I took one last deep breath. “Yes, Daddy.” Be myself. I might be able to do that, all I’d have to do is act neurotic and hide every time I got embarrassed.
“Whatever you just thought, don’t. Be nice to yourself. You’re talking about Daddy’s special boy and he doesn’t like it when anyone is mean to him.” Daddy frowned at me but his eyes were still smiling so I didn’t worry. I leaned over and kissed his cheek.
“I’ll try.”
He took my hand in his and pulled me out of the car. Closing the door and locking it, we walked up to the door of the nondescript building. If it wasn’t for the sign explaining in neon colors that it was for adults only, it could have been just about any business.
Keeping a tight grip on me, Daddy pushed the door open and a doorbell noise echoed through the store. It was brightly lit with rows of packages, books, videos, and costumes. There was even a row of paddles and floggers on the back wall that looked…intimidating.
It was clean and professional looking, not what I guessed I was expecting. Now that I thought about it the picture in my head seemed ridiculous. No real business wanted to appear dirty and creepy. Every store wanted customers to feel at home and to want to come back. This wasn’t going to be any different just because they sold adult novelties. Or at least that’s what the sign was calling them.
There were only a few other people in the store. That made me feel a little bit better. There were a man and woman over by the videos, a couple of giggling girls over by what I assumed were the vibrators, and a large man behind the register.
He looked like what I’d always thought someone in a motorcycle gang would. Huge, tattooed, with a short beard that made him look even rougher. I may have held Daddy’s hand a little tighter as we walked by the counter on the way back to the toys.
Relief didn’t even begin to describe it when the girls passed by us on the way to check out. There was no way I would have been able to buy anything with them standing right beside us. I was proud that I was functional when they giggled and whispered as they walked by, “Aren’t they so hot?”
Daddy just winked at them then leaned down to whisper in my ear, “Even they think you’re sexy.”
That had me blushing but it didn’t get too bad. He laughed and dropped his teasing. I think I would have preferred it if we just grabbed one and got out, but Mad was having fun browsing through things—and getting ideas.
His inner Dom was in heaven. As we walked by the row of impact toys, things like floggers and paddles, and items that looked like they would hurt but I didn’t know what they were, I could see his mind going ninety miles an hour. I should have been relieved when he walked by without picking any up but I might have been a little disappointed.
I thought I’d hidden it pretty well. At least until he looked over at me with a serious expression and a naughty gleam in his eyes. “I want to do more research first before we pick one up. I think you’d like some of those.”
Where was a blanket to hide under when I needed one?
He chuckled and kept wandering around before coming back to the toy aisle. I’d seen a lot of them on the internet but seeing the vibrators, dildos, and other toys all shelved neatly like you were grocery shopping was odd. Next time we needed stuff, I wanted to do this online even if I had to resort to bribes.
I thought we were just here for the cock ring. However, Daddy became fascinated with the different plug options. He was reading the packaging on two different vibrating ones, while I was making a study of the ceiling tiles, when a soft, cultured voice spoke behind us.
“If you’re considering the two of those, I’d recommend the deluxe model depending on how much use it’s going to get. They’re both comfortable for long or short-term use. However, the deluxe has a better motor and will last longer.” She sounded like a teacher and looked a little like what I thought a sexy librarian was supposed to. I wanted to crawl under anything I could find, but luckily, she didn’t even glance at me; she just focused on Daddy.
As they talked, it got easier to relax and just watch. It was like they were discussing small electronics or something. Motors and batteries, rechargeable versus traditional. They were both so calm about it, I couldn’t help but relax. It was a false sense of security.
I was actually doing pretty good, at least for me, until she glanced over at me then back to Mad. “Does your boy have any questions?”
My mouth came open. I know I looked like an idiot, with some kind of goldfish expression because she smiled reassuringly at me and then looked back to focus on Mad. He reached out and took my hand, shaking his head. “No. He’s good.”
She nodded then they moved down the aisle and began discussing the cock rings. Now that I knew she understood they were for me, it was harder to fight my nerves. Mad must have sensed my growing panic because he didn’t release my hand. He even pulled me closer while he asked endless questions about the toys.
I appreciated that he was taking my comfort and safety seriously, but I could feel my face heating up the longer they stood there talking. When the conversation turned from short-term control to long-term orgasm denial, I couldn’t decide if I was more turned on or horrified.
It was a toss-up.
“Richard!” We were now the only people in the store so she peered over the shelves and called out to the man still behind the counter.
“Yes, Ma’am?” His polite response caught me off guard and I knew I was missing something.
“Which do you think is more comfortable for long-term wear?” She held up two of the things that they’d been discussing.
He didn’t even blink. He just tilted his head, pointing to the one in the purple package. “The other one is okay for short-term, like a couple of hours, but I really notice it after it’s been on for a day or two. If they’re new then the Utility 2000 would be easier to get used to.”
“Thanks, sweetie. That’s what I thought.” She turned back to Daddy and they were talking about something but my mind kept going back to what he’d said. Ma’am…he really noticed…
Oh! I did a reasonable job keeping my surprise to myself. But I could tell she’d seen me figure it out because she gave me a little nod then kept talking to Daddy.
I’d read enough stories and met enough people online to realize that submissives came in all shapes and sizes. I guess it just didn’t seem real until I came face to face with it. Everything started looking different. She hadn’t been talking solely to Mad because I was nervous, although that was probably part of it. She’d figured out that he was in charge. The guy behind the counter didn’t seem so intimidating anymore, and I could see some kind of chain around his neck that was probably his collar.
Knowing that they wouldn’t judge because they were in a similar boat lifted some of the stress. Holding his hand didn’t feel like I was clinging for dear life anymore. It felt nice. I didn’t even realize how tense my body was until my shoulders started to lower and I wanted to lean into Daddy. Could I do it?
Feeling a little braver, I inched closer until our arms were pressed together and his fingers started caressing my leg. That earned me a smile from both of them and I know I was blushing, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it. It didn’t mean I was going to back up, though.
They finally decided on a short-term toy and the plug that he’d picked out earlier. I could tell he wasn’t sure about the long-term…cage thing. He gave me a couple of glances before going back to reading the packages again.
I knew he wanted to ask me something, but he was sticking to our deal. I appreciated that, but I was feeling more confident than I’d expected. I nudged his hip a little and gave him a questioning look. So brave…well, for me at least.
Daddy lifted his eyebrow in an “Are you sure?” expression and I nodded. I might not be completely sure but I was going to try.
“Just the short-term, B or do you want to try the long-term restraint as well?”
Butterflies, hell. My stomach was churning so hard it was like bats had taken up residence, but I’d told him to ask, so I was going to do it. The woman, I couldn’t remember her name, gave us a smile and wandered off toward the front of the store. It was more the illusion of privacy but I appreciated it.
“I…” I took a deep breath and tried not to whisper. I was going to at least attempt to be functional. “I think just the short-term one right now until we see how we both like it. The longer term…restraint is kind of expensive, so let’s see how the other one works first.” Ha! Functional and real sentences. One more step. I could do it. “Daddy.”
That earned a huge smile from him and he leaned over to give me a quick kiss. “Good job, Baby. I’m very proud of you.”
I felt like I’d conquered a mountain even though it was probably just a small step. Thankfully, Daddy didn’t need me to answer anything else and soon we were walking up to the register with our new toys. I couldn’t help but picture how he would use them and how they would feel. A little shiver raced through me and Daddy gave a little laugh.
He leaned over and spoke softly, but this time not a whisper. “I can’t wait to try them too, B.”
My face had to be fire-engine red but Richard and the librarian-looking lady pretended not to notice. They gave him some last-minute care instructions that I did my best to tune out. I was starting to reach my embarrassment limit.
As we finished checking out, she looked at Richard with one of those looks that couples get. They seemed to be having some kind of silent conversation because he looked at me this time when he spoke. “Do you have any questions?”
Me?
He had this expression like there was more to the question than met the eye. Was he talking about the toys or something else? Glancing back at his…his Domme…she nodded and then quickly glanced over at me.
Yup, he didn’t mean the merchandise.
“It’s kind of easy to see that you guys are new to everything. Do you have any questions? Do you have other subs to talk to?” He spoke calmly, kind of like he was talking to a trapped animal. Maybe I didn’t look as reasonable as I’d hoped.
Why couldn’t there be a giant sinkhole when I needed one?
I was tucked into Daddy’s neck before I’d even realized I’d done it. Idiotic reaction—but at least I felt better. Thank God we were the only ones in the store. I took a deep breath then tried to pretend everything was fine and perfectly normal.
“I’m fine, thanks.” It came out kind of muffled but it didn’t sound like I’d completely lost it, so I was pleased. “I have friends online.”
His hand came up to rub my back. “Deep breath, Baby.”
“I know. I’m good.” I really was doing better, but sighing, I continued. “Just mortified.”
He chuckled. “No one minds.”
Then Richard’s deep voice came out low and soothing. “And no one is going to judge. New things are scary.”
“Age play is especially difficult to talk about.” Her tone was very matter-of-fact. Like she was talking about the weather or something.
I might have groaned. However, I managed to pull away from Daddy and stand on my own again. Making eye contact with everyone was more than I would be able to do, so I studied the carpet and tried to calm down. Words weren’t going to work, so I nodded in agreement and gripped Daddy’s hand tightly.
“We’re both new to the lifestyle. Opening up about this is hard.” Hard for Bryan is what he meant but I was glad he didn’t say it—even if it was obvious.
He was so relaxed and open about everything. It didn’t make him crazy to talk about this stuff with people. Yeah, it probably helped that they were in the lifestyle as well, but I couldn’t picture myself ever being as relaxed as he was.
“We completely understand. Feel free to give us a call or email if you have any questions. Sometimes, having people to talk to who can relate makes things easier.” She gestured to the store. “Even if it’s just about practical things. The internet has lots of information, but asking a real person feels better sometimes.”
“Thank you. I might take you up on that.” Daddy picked up the bag off the counter. “I’ve being doing a lot of research online. But yeah, a real person to ask questions to would be great.”
Could I talk to anyone on the phone about this stuff? Hell no. Could I email? Maybe.
“Thanks again.” He spoke smoothly like he could have been talking to anyone. Then his hand tightened on mine and I took the hint.
Glancing up from the floor I did my best to make eye contact. “Thanks for the help.” That was about all I could do. Daddy was pleased, though, because he gave me another quick kiss on the forehead.
“Good boy.”
Thankfully, he started walking us toward the door before I could look for something to hide under. Just because being his good boy made me hot didn’t mean I wasn’t embarrassed. As we walked out of the store, I could tell that more time had passed than I realized.
Digging out my phone to check the time made me feel more normal. It was easier to push back the emotions that were still churning around. It was already well after two. We’d been in there a lot longer than I’d expected.
“You want to drive now, or do you want me to?” He was fiddling with the packages. It was easy to tell he wanted to take them out and play with them.
“I’m good. I’ll drive.” I wasn’t ready to look at them just yet. Driving would give me something to focus on. I was afraid that if I was the passenger, he was going to make me do something crazy like read the instructions out loud to him.
“Great!” He gave me a kiss on the cheek, then handed me the keys. “I’m proud of you, Bryan. You did a good job in there. I know that was hard for you.”
Ignoring the heat radiating from my face, I shrugged. I wasn’t going to agree that I’d done a good job, but I’d been almost functional.
He shook his head. “You are too hard on yourself. Next time we go back, things will be much easier. You’ll see.” Then he stepped away and walked over to the car.
Next time?