After a long day at the beach, where Peyton and I laid under the cabana tent, watching families frolic in the sun, surf and build sand castles, we’re finally getting down to the business of planning her wedding.

“Okay, I bought this and figured we can use this to keep track of everything. Most importantly, samples, notes, what you like and dislike can go in here. Plus, here are all the brochures from the list of venues we talked about.”

Peyton slowly flips through the binder I created without saying anything. In fact, she’s been very quiet each time I’ve brought up the wedding, opting instead to go out to dinner, hit the casino, take a dip in the pool or sit on the beach. I’m starting to think something’s wrong and that the flowers Noah arranged for the plane were some sort of apology.

Without asking, I pull the notebook out from under her and close it, setting it aside. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” she states, turning her head slightly as if to indicate she doesn’t understand.

“I call BS, P. You’ve been distracted since we arrived. We’re on vacation. It’s our last spring break together.”

“And I’m enjoying myself.”

I reach for my sister’s hand and look at her adoringly. “Something’s bothering you. I can tell. Are you pregnant?” Peyton’s eyes widen. I smile, knowing I’ve uncovered her secret. “Eek, I’m going to be an auntie.”

Peyton pulls her hands away and shakes her head. “Sorry to disappoint you. I’m not pregnant.”

“Oh. Then what’s wrong because I feel like you’re not having fun.”

“I am, Elle. But I have something to tell you.”

I sit back in the booth and feel the blood drain from my face. “You broke up with Noah, didn’t you? I mean, he sent all those flowers because he loves you, but…” My hand covers my mouth. “Oh God, is Dessie back? I’ll kill her,” I say without thinking my words through.

Peyton smiles and shakes her head rapidly. “Oh hell no. And no, Noah and I didn’t break up, but we did decide to get married in Beaumont.” Peyton’s lips go into a fine line, and her eyes go wide. I let her news sink in, and while I’m upset, it’s a decision she and Noah have to make. It’s not my wedding.

“And you felt like you couldn’t tell me this?”

My sister shrugs. “You’ve been so excited about everything I didn’t want you to think I was ungrateful for all you’ve done so far. Getting married in Beaumont is something we feel very strongly about.”

I scoot closer so I can hug my sister. “It’s your wedding, P. You can get married at the courthouse for all I care, just as long as you get married.” Again, I’m speaking before I realize exactly what I’m saying. “What I’m saying is—”

“I know what you’re saying. Believe me, when I say this, everything with Noah is amazing. I didn’t know what happiness was until we finally got together. I mean, I always imagined what our lives would be like.”

“And does your imagination serve real-life justice?”

“Not even close. I love him, Elle. Right now, our lives are complicated, but we both work so hard to make things easy. When he’s in Chicago, he cooks and cleans so I can study, and when I’m in Portland, I do the same for him so he can focus on being the best quarterback in the league. We’re both exhausted at the end of the day but when I curl up in his arms, I know I’ve made the right decision.”

We hug again, and I fight back the happy tears I’m feeling. Seeing my sister so in love with the man of her dreams, fills me with hope. It gives me something to look forward to in the future. Not that there’s a man on my horizon, but someday, I’m hoping there will be.

I open the binder and flip to the flower section. “What do you want to do about flowers?”

“Hydrangeas are a must.”

“Yes, they are.” I write a quick note. “Do you have a florist in mind?” I glance at my sister.

“Aunt Josie is going to do them.”

“Oh.”

“No, don’t get the wrong idea. You and I are still picking everything out, but I figured it would be perfect for Whimsicality to do the flowers. They’re going to cater as well.”

“Aunt Josie has really turned her little flower shop into something amazing. I really miss it.”

“Me too. Do you remember working there?” Peyton asks.

I nod. “It was some of the best times.”

“The pay was horrible.”

Peyton and I both start laughing. We were paid under the table, and by today’s standards, the wage we were given would make our aunt look like a child laborer. However, none of us did it for money. We did it because we’re family and once we were in high school, it became a weekend hotspot, unless you count the water tower.

“Do you remember when Ben broke the bucket of dishes?” Peyton asks. My brows lift, and my mouth drops open as the memory floods my mind.

“The band was on tour and Ben was insistent that he help out Quinn. Ben had the take-charge attitude and would go to the café every day after school whether Josie needed him or not.”

“And she never turned him away.”

Shaking my head, I think about how Ben was always around when our dad was gone. Even though Quinn was there, Ben always made sure my mom didn’t need anything. Our mom, of course, loved having him around. Ben’s always fit in with my family, sometimes more than I have. I think once my parents find out Ben and I aren’t exactly on speaking terms, they’ll side with him because my behavior has been atrocious. Ben has put up with far more than he should’ve and frankly, should’ve stopped talking to me months ago. But, Ben Miller would never do something like that. It’s not in his nature so the fact that he has, really makes me wonder how badly I’ve screwed up. I wouldn’t even know where to begin to fix things with him.

The gentle touch of my sister’s hand on top of mine pulls me back to the present. “Where’d you go?” she asks.

“Just thinking about Ben,” I tell her. I know they talk and part of me is desperate to ask her if she knows anything, while the other half of me feels she doesn’t, or she would’ve said something by now. “Why don’t you call him?”

“I have.” I shrug. “My calls go to voicemail. When he answers my texts, they are one-word answers. I knock on his door, and there’s no answer. I go to the café where he works, and he’s not there. The last day I physically saw him was the Monday after his birthday. I don’t see him on campus, checking his mail, leaving for school, and believe me, I’ve been watching. Lurking in the shadows, waiting to corner him and demand he tell me what’s wrong.”

“I wish I knew why he was acting like this.”

I half smile at my sister and keep my eyes focused on the water glass in front of me. “I had a feeling if you knew something, you would’ve said, but I also didn’t want to ask because I know you’ve both grown closer since your accident.”

Peyton laughs. “I never told you this, but the day Noah came over to Mom and Dad’s to confess everything and tell me he’s not giving up on us, Kyle was there, and he tried to kiss me. When I told him I was in love with someone else, he asked if the guy was Ben. I told him no and he figured it out right after, but I started thinking, why not Ben?”

Peyton shakes her head at my shocked expression. “Not for me, but for you. And so I’m curious, E. Why not Ben? Because from what I can tell he loves you more than anything, and he has since the day he was adamant I was in his bio class. That boy followed me to the cafeteria, and once he laid eyes on you, he was a goner.”

“Which makes no sense since we’re identical.”

Peyton shrugs. “We’re different in our own ways. Besides, I was a tomboy, and you were the cheerleader. You attracted far more boys than I did.”

“Only because every guy in school knew you were in love with Noah or they were afraid you’d show them up with your mad sports knowledge.”

Our waiter appears and refills our water glasses. I take it upon myself to order us some dessert. I tell him we want something sweet, filled with caramel, hot fudge, and cake. There has to be cake. Peyton and I laugh when he asks if we plan to share. That’s a definite no.

“Does Noah know who he’s asking to be in the wedding?” I ask, determined to change the subject. As much as I’d love to rehash high school, those days are long gone. I can’t get them back, not that I’d want to. Ben’s birthday though, I’d love to go back to that night and not drink so much wine so I can remember what happened between us.

“I know he’s made a list. He’s having trouble deciding who he should ask as his best man.”

“Really?” Although, he has a lot of close friends.

Peyton shakes her head. “Liam or Quinn.”

“Wow. I thought for sure it’d be one of the guys from the team.”

“I know. I was shocked. I thought he’d ask Alex, but Noah said that when he thinks of us standing up at the altar together, he feels as if it should be his dad or Quinn by his side.”

“Well, this could be awkward. I mean, how am I supposed to hook up with the best man after the ceremony?” I ask teasingly. Peyton throws her napkin at me, in time for the waiter to appear with two monstrous sundaes. It’s a mountain of ice cream sitting on top of chocolate cake with sauce drizzled over the top.

“Careful, the plate is hot,” the waiter says as he slides them in front of our faces. My stomach turns, and my brain starts to get a cramp even before I’ve taken a bite. We tell him “thank you,” and both look at each other.

“We each should’ve ordered something different.”

“I know, P. I think this is a stomachache waiting to happen.” I don’t care though and dig in, taking my first big mouthful of the deliciousness in front of me. “Oh my,” I say, covering my mouth. “This is so good.” My words are jumbled and sound nothing like what I’m trying to say.

“Ssh, I’m busy.” Peyton looks lost in dessert heaven. She closes her eyes with each bite she takes and moans. “I need to come here for my honeymoon.”

“Where are you guys going?”

“We haven’t decided yet. We’ve bought a few travel magazines to look for places, but ultimately, Noah’s going to make the decision and surprise me.”

“That’s sweet.”

“It is, and I don’t mind as long as we’re together.” We let eating take over, neither of us talking until we’ve made a dent in the sundaes. “So about Ben?” Peyton leaves her question wide open, leaving it to my interpretation.

“The more I think about his birthday, the more I think we slept together, and if we did, I didn’t treat him very well the next morning.”

“Maybe you should ask him.”

“I did. He said no, but I don’t believe him. I think he’s covering for me because I had been drinking. I remember arguing with him over something, and then nothing until I woke up.”

Peyton sighs and sets down her spoon. I have a feeling I know what’s coming. I sit up straight and ready myself for her lecture.

“I’m very proud of you. I know you’ve struggled since my accident, but it seems like you’re trying hard to make a change. It hasn’t gone unnoticed by me that you haven’t had a drink since we arrived.”

“I’m trying, P. I really am. Dad put a lot of things in perspective and this situation with Ben, it’s because of something I’ve done. I have to fix it because not having Ben in my life isn’t an option.”

“He’s your Noah,” she says.

I look at her for a long minute before tears start to fall. Ben is my Noah, and it’s taken me years to realize it. Maybe once it sinks in, I’ll figure out a way to right my wrongs with him.