Oddly, I feel at peace with the decision I’ve made about the internship. Happy, even. I’m looking forward to the challenges that lie ahead, but also terrified I won’t live up to the standards my professor is holding me to.

Right now, I’m trying to pass my final. I wish I could say my mind is clear and completely focused on the task at hand, but it’s not. It’s having an internal battle with my aching and likely broken heart. I want to tell Elle about the offer, but the nagging fear that she’ll negate my success plays a huge part in why I haven’t said anything. What kind of friend does that make me? A shitty one, if you ask me. For all of Elle’s faults, her qualities are double. She’s just lost right now.

Which is why I haven’t told her. She’s dealing with enough of her stuff to have to worry about what I’m doing, and it’s not like I’m a priority for her. The text messages she’s sent me the past few days have all been complaints about her teachers, classes and her parents. Not a single one asking how I’m doing or where I’ve been. Even her phone calls are straight to the point, “Call me.”

I can’t.

Elle James is a weakness I need to overcome.

Yet, I wish she were with me right now, helping me pick out a new wardrobe. Brad used to tease me about my savings, telling me I can’t take the money with me so I might as well spend it. My rainy-day fund is coming in handy. According to the packet of papers Professor Jacobs gave me, the dress code is business professional. The bonus is, Fridays are the firm’s casual day, which means I can dress down slightly in something like a button-down or sweater vest.

I laugh aloud in the store, garnering odd looks from a few of the other patrons. I can’t help but think about Elle’s reaction to a sweater vest. One Christmas her father wore one, and I thought the world was ending. Granted, it was an ugly Christmas one, but still, Elle was beside herself, calling Harrison an old fogey. She had everyone in stitches, laughing at the way she was dissing Harrison, even Katelyn.

“May I help you?” the store clerk asks as he straightens out the vest I so haphazardly placed back on the pile.

“I need to buy some work clothes.”

“Of course, and where will you be working?”

Working. I’m going to have a job, in the real world. As that thought settles over me, I’m forced to take a deep calming breath. When did I grow up and become an adult? Wasn’t it just yesterday, when I shyly approached the twins at school? That day was life-changing. When the twins could’ve shunned the new kid, they didn’t.

“Hey, do you remember the assignment we have for Mrs. Rudolph’s class?” I ask the beautiful girl that sits in front of me in biology. I came up with this icebreaker last night while lying in bed. I figure if I can ask her about our homework, she’ll talk to me. It may be the third day of my freshman year, but I’m already smitten.

She looks at me without breaking her stride. “I don’t have a class with Mrs. Rudolph.”

“Third period. Biology.” I leave out the part where we’ll have to partner up when we study the human anatomy. She approaches her locker, which isn’t where I thought it was yesterday. Maybe she requested to have it moved? Is someone bullying her? I could step in if that’s the case. My brother Brad and I don’t stand for that type of crap. Once she pops the lock and opens the door, I see it’s completely covered in pictures of some football player. “Boyfriend?” Please say no. Please say no.

She pauses and looks at the door. “Friend,” she mumbles.

Thank you!

“So about our homework?”

She slams the door. “I think you have me confused with my sister.” She turns to walk down the hall, making me rush after her. I’m about a foot taller than her, forcing me to look down at the top of her head. Being the smooth teen I am, I step in front of her and backpedal down the hall. My ego’s hurt a bit by the annoyed look on her face.

“Can I help you with something?” she asks, stopping in the middle of the hallway.

“Hey, Peyton, do you know if your dad is touring soon?” another girl asks. The gorgeous girl in front of me rolls her eyes and mutters no. The classmate doesn’t say anything before walking away. So, her name’s Peyton. Different, but I like it.

I make the mistake of watching her classmate and almost lose Peyton slipping by me. However, I’m undeterred and quickly catch up. I follow her to the loud cafeteria because I’ve been so determined to speak with her, I haven’t stopped at my locker to dump my books and grab my lunch. It’s okay. I can eat later.

“Hey, this guy is looking for you.” Peyton steps out of the way, and that’s when my eyes land on another version of Peyton. I don’t want to say she’s prettier, but… yeah, she is, and the way she’s looking at me with her Caribbean blue eyes has my heart beating faster than it ever has and my throat feels like it’s closing. Great, I lay eyes on the woman of my dreams, and I’m going to die.

“I’m Benjamin Miller.” I stick my hand out for her to shake it. She does, placing her dainty hand in mine. The moment my large hand engulfs her, I don’t want to let go, but she pulls away quickly, leaving me wanting more.

“I’m Elle Powell-James, and this is my sister, Peyton.”

Elle. Her name is Elle.

My mouth opens and closes, only to open again and say the dumbest thing ever. “Twins,” I say stupidly. I mean, of course, they are. They’re freaking identical in every way except how they dress. No wonder I messed up. I glance at the both of them, trying to find a distinguishing feature so I don’t make the same mistake again. I have nothing, except for the way Elle smiles. Her head tilts to the side and her eyes, they shine brighter than the northern star. Okay, stop Ben, before you embarrass yourself.

“So how long have you been in Beaumont?” Elle asks.

“A couple of weeks. We just moved here from Orlando.”

“Disneyworld!” the twins say in unison.

“Sorry,” Peyton tells me. “We love Disneyworld. It’s our favorite place. Our dad takes us there all the time.” They seem sort of old to enjoy a theme park, but who am I to judge. Given a chance, I’d probably go because let’s be real, we all want to act like kids.

“Beaumont must seem like a sleepy little town compared to Orlando. Why’d you move?” Peyton asks.

“We’re adjusting.” The truth is, it’s a nice change of pace. Orlando was a hectic lifestyle, and we rarely saw our mother. At least here, she’s home every night, and we can be a family.

“What do you like to do?” Elle asks.

I shrug. “Everything really.”

“Well, that’s good. You should come to the football game on Friday night,” Elle suggests.

“Will you be there?” I ask.

The twins laugh. I must be missing some inside joke.

“Elle is a cheerleader, so yes, she’ll be there,” Peyton says.

“And you?” I ask, curious about why her sister thought it was important to tell me that. Granted, I’m very thankful.

“Peyton will be on the sidelines, coaching.”

If I’m not mistaken, my eyes bug out of my head. “You coach football?”

Peyton shrugs. “I help out.”

I nod. “Gotta say, that’s really cool.”

Peyton shies away from my compliment, but her sister doesn’t allow it. Elle bumps Peyton on the shoulder and smiles brightly. These girls are the first twins I’ve met, and I can already see the closeness between them. On any given day, Brad and I are cordial with each other if we’re not trying to fight one another.

The bell rings and I have no choice but to gather my stuff and head to class. Thankfully, Elle’s locker is near mine, which gives me more time with her. Through the halls, everyone yells out her name, and guys stop and talk to her. It’s awkward for me to stand there, but I don’t want to leave. There’s something about her that draws me in. I can’t put my finger on it.

“Excuse me.”

I shake my head. “I’m sorry, what did you say?” I ask the clerk.

“I asked where you’ll be working?”

“Right, sorry. I’ll be working in New York for a bit. I need some suits and business casual wear.”

“Let me get your measurements, I’ll be right back. In the meantime, take a look at our suits along the back wall.” He points toward the back of the store before leaving me there. The last time anyone took my measurements was for prom, which seems so long ago. It’s hard to believe I’ve been in the twins’ life for over eight years.

The suits hang by color, starting with white and ending with jet-black. It makes me wonder if the coats come with a chart as to where they’re supposed to go or if an employee here has a keen eye for the different hues and this is their task for the day. It’s something I don’t know if I’d have the patience for.

The clerk returns and ushers me into the dressing room where he has me stand on a pedestal. “Left or right?”

“I’m right-handed,” I tell him.

“No, which way do you hang?”

“Um…”

He eyes my groin area and I let out a very uncomfortable cough.

“Our pants have a bit extra depending on which side you normally fall to.”

How is this even a thing? All I can think right now is I’m thankful Elle isn’t standing here with me. I don’t know if I’d get over the sheer embarrassment. “Right,” I say, although now that I’m thinking about it, I’m not entirely sure. I can honestly say I’ve never even paid attention.

My personal attendant goes to town, so to speak, with his yellow measuring tape, rattling off numbers to an assistant of his own, that I don’t even remember entering the room. They both disappear, leaving me standing on the platform with mirrors all around me. I glance at myself, wondering what this guy sees. Does he see the stress and worry I have about my next adventure or the bags under my eyes from the lack of sleep I get each night? Every night since I accepted the offer, my mind races, filling my thoughts with dread and endless possibilities. Try as I might, I think about Elle and wonder what she’s going to do during the time I’ll be in New York. Will she miss me, call me and demand I tell her why I didn’t share my news with her?

I’ll be gone approximately ten weeks, living in an overpopulated city, working a nine to five job, three thousand miles away from the people I consider my family, with a three hour time difference. I’m excited, nervous and welcoming the opportunity to do something for myself. Every decision I’ve made since the day I met Elle, has been based on her. It’s time for Benjamin Miller to expand his wings and see what else is out there in the world, and if doing so means Elle, and I are going our separate ways, so be it. It’s probably time and honestly should’ve happened four years ago. California was never my dream. It’s always been hers.