From where I stand, Ben and his brother are in deep conversation. Every so often, Brad looks around the room, probably eyeing up his next conquest or weeklong girlfriend. For as long as I’ve known him, he’s never dated anyone past the seven-day mark. Back in high school, girls flocked to him. The appeal is there. He’s the bad boy with a hot body and his always tousled hair, constant stubble, and lived-in leather jacket. When he turned seventeen, instead of cashing his savings in for a reliable car, he bought a motorcycle. I used to tease Quinn, saying Brad fit more into our family than he did.

I used to wonder when Ben was going to morph into Brad given that he used to idolize him when we were young, but, as we grew older the change never came. Ben was and still is my good guy. The one I can count on for anything. Peyton says I’m too dependent on Ben, and maybe she’s right, but I can’t imagine my life without him.

Brad nods to me and raises his beer in what I’m guessing to be a silent thank you for throwing his brother a birthday party. To this day, Brad still doesn’t understand I would do anything for Ben.

“Elle, we should have been cutting the cake.” Peyton’s voice tears my gaze away from the Miller brothers.

“Otherwise I’m liable to bump into it, and I can’t control what my hand does.” I turn and look at my soon to be brother-in-law who shrugs.

“You wouldn’t.”

He nods and smiles brightly. “I would. I’m hungry.”

“There’s a ton of food here.” I point over his shoulder where the six-foot-long table has everything from pizza, wings, chips, and dips to finger sandwiches.

“Ever since we went cake tasting, it’s all he’s been asking for.” Peyton puts her arms around his waist and pulls him closer, resting her head on his chest.

“You went cake tasting without me?” There’s a definite whine in my voice. Peyton picks her head up and looks away sheepishly. “P?”

“It’s my fault,” Noah says. “There was this bridal expo in town and a few weeks back, and we went.”

“Without me? You didn’t even tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to stress with finals coming up, Elle. I promise.” Peyton pulls away from Noah to take my free hand in hers. I down the rest of my wine before glancing at her. By the look in her eyes, she knows I’m upset. I don’t really want to hurt my sister’s feelings, but I want to be there when she plans her wedding. She’s only dreamed of marrying Noah for as long as I can remember, and I want to help her make her fairy tales come true. “I haven’t planned a single thing. Noah and I went to look, and truthfully, he had to force me to go.”

“Kicking and screaming,” Noah adds.

“Hey, are we going to cut the cake?” Quinn interrupts. Noah gives him a high-five while Peyton giggles and I roll my eyes.

“You too?”

Quinn shrugs. “What am I missing?”

“Nothing, come on.” With my family behind me, we meander through the student body. Every few steps, someone tries to stop Noah and talk football. He’s polite though and tells him he’ll circle back around later. I don’t know how he does it. If it’s not people asking about his dad, they’re on him about football. Growing up in Beaumont, no one really bothered with us, no one really cared. The band was always good to our community, and I think giving us the privacy we needed to grow up normal was their way of thanking them.

Quinn and Noah holler out to the room, asking them to quiet down for me. “Ben, if you could come over here for a second.” Ben makes his way through the crowd. He’s about six inches taller than most of the group, with the exception of Noah and a few other guys. “Everyone, on the count of three we’re going to sing happy birthday to my best friend.” I put my arm around his waist and look at him as I start to sing. For most of the song, he’s staring at me. I can’t ascertain what his expression means. He’s not smiling, but not frowning either. Unfortunately, I’m not very good at reading people. I want to ask him what he’s thinking, but the song is coming to an end, and his attention is no longer focused on me, but at the room full of his friends.

“Thank you. This has literally been the best surprise of my life. And thank you, Elle, for doing this.”

“You’re welcome. Now let’s cut the cake.”

“Yes, please!” Noah and Quinn yell out in unison. I turn away from Ben and hand him the knife, while Peyton starts pulling apart the paper plates. Once Ben slices through the cake, I take over and finish, making sure he gets the first piece.

“I know you didn’t make this, but it’s delicious. Thank you.”

Again, I tell him he’s welcome before he disappears into the crowd. Once everyone has cake, Peyton and I rest against the table, eating our slices, and watch as everyone mingles. “I’m going to see if Ben needs anything.” I polish off another glass of wine. I promised myself I wouldn’t drink, but I need the liquid courage to get through the night.

When I finally make it over to him, he’s chatting up one of the girls from his class. I have no idea who she is, but she keeps putting her hand on his arm, and when she laughs, she throws her head back. Instantly, I’m not a fan. She’s trying too hard.

“Hi, I’m Elle,” I say, sticking my hand toward her.

“Bailey,” she says as she reaches for my hand. Her handshake is weak and has no conviction, and her eyes shift back to Ben’s instead of mine. I can tell she likes him. Ben and Bailey. Bailey and Ben. Nope. I don’t like it. I step closer to Ben and hook my finger into his belt loop, pulling him closer to me. He leans toward me, smiling, as I move my finger over his upper lip.

“You have a bit of frosting here.” He doesn’t, but I want to send Bailey a message. My Ben needs someone like me to take care of him.

Ben’s hand rests on my waist. He leans farther down, so his lips are close to my ear. “Are you drunk?”

I shake my head, hating myself because the lie comes easily. Tonight has to be about Ben and not my issues. The last thing I want is for him to worry about me. He needs to have fun and enjoy his birthday party. He can scold me later after everyone is gone.

“I think you are.”

Instead of answering, I lean my head on his chest and start swaying to the music playing in the background. I don’t know what song’s playing, but I like it. It’s slow and sensual, and I find myself pushing into Ben. His hand moves from my waist as his arm brings me even closer, pressing his body into mine. I don’t know how long we stay like this, but with the combination of his arms around me, our bodies aligned and the beating of his heart against mine, I find myself crying.

My body shudders as a sob works its way through. “What’s wrong?” he asks. The only response I can muster is to shake my head. Ben knows better though. He always does.

He pulls away and yells out that the party is over. A few people groan, and I use this time to slip into the bathroom to clean up. My reflection is nothing to be proud of with my black mascara leaving tear stains down my cheeks. “So much for waterproof.” I take my sweet time, hoping everyone is gone when I emerge. Only Peyton and Noah are left. My sister rushes over to me and pulls me into her arms.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, just had a moment.” What the moment was, I have no idea. I don’t know what came over me and or why my emotions are getting the best of me. “I’m going to stay and clean up.”

“Do you want me to help?”

“No, go on. You and Noah have a long drive down to Mom and Dad’s, and I’m sure you’re both tired. I’ll call you in the morning.”

Peyton and I hug, and Noah comes over to kiss me on the forehead. As soon as I hear the door shut, I’m in the kitchen grabbing a garbage bag.

“What was that?” Ben asks, leaning his hip against the counter.

“What?”

He points over his shoulder and laughs. “Your overly possessive display of affection. Are you jealous of Bailey?”

“No.” I step by him and start picking up every bottle and tin can I find.

“I think you are.” Ben tosses a few into the bag.

“You’re being ridiculous.” The bottle of wine I opened earlier is still there. Sitting next to it is an empty one, which honestly I don’t remember drinking. I pick it up, bringing the glass rim to my lips and drink the remaining contents, swaying a bit as I drop the bottle into the bag.

“You’re drunk.” Ben tries to take the bag from my hand, but I pull away.

“Am not.”

“You are. I’m fairly certain you drank both bottles of wine.”

“Peyton had some.”

Ben shakes his head. “Peyton doesn’t drink, and you know it.”

“It’s because she’s so perfect right, is that it? Do you like her or something?”

“Elle…”

“No, don’t ‘Elle’ me.” I drop the bag and step toward him. He reaches out to catch me as I lose my balance. “You and Quinn are the same. Always harping at me about my drinking and throwing Peyton in my face and how perfect she is. Do you like her, Ben? I know you spent a lot of time with her at the hospital and when she was living with my parents. Did something happen between the two of you?”

He looks at me and frowns.

“Think long and hard about your answer because—”

“Because what? You’ll be mad at me if I did something with Peyton?”

“You know what, I don’t need this.” I sidestep, only to have him grab my arm and pull me back to him.

“You don’t get a say in who I like or what I do with other women, Elle.”

“Let go of me, Ben.” He does but keeps one hand on my waist.

“Your sister is in love with Noah.”

“And you’re in love with her!”

Ben shakes his head and steps away from me. He bends down for the bag and continues to pick up the empty bottles. “Go home, Elle.”

“No, I told you I’d help. I made this mess, and I’ll clean it up.” I reach for the bag and try to tug it out of his hand. His resistance is causing the bag to sway back and forth, hitting us both in the legs. “Let go.”

“No.”

“You’re such a child.” I yank harder this time, and so does he, the thick plastic stretching.

“And you’re drunk and in need of some help. Don’t you see it? You’re self-destructing, and there isn’t anything we can do to stop you. I want to though. I want to be the friend you need, help you through whatever’s going on in your head.” Ben steps closer and points to his temple. “Let me help you, Elle.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me,” I roar as I push him away. I’m angry and keep pushing until Ben’s back is against the wall on the opposite side of his apartment.

“Elle?” His hand comes toward me, but I bat it away. He tries again, and this time I close my fist and cock my arm back. I try with all my might to hit him, but he’s faster than I am. His hand closes around my fist, and the force of my movement has me crashing into him.

I look into his eyes as a barrage of hateful words form in my head. I expect Ben to let me go, but he doesn’t. He places his arm around my back and pulls me to his body just as his lips press against mine.