Eighteen
The Release
I resisted the urge to cover myself every time he looked down at my body. I still couldn’t believe that I was lying here naked while he pretty much looked at and touched every part of me. No one had ever made me feel so comfortable with myself. No one had ever made me feel so beautiful and sexy in all my life. I knew that after tonight I’d never let him go.
I had never in my life felt something so wonderful. Everything Devin was doing to me made me feel good all over and I was to the point where I couldn’t control the sounds that were spilling from my lips. I wanted to feel his skin against mine. I wanted to feel him all over. His skin was softer than I imagined it would be and he was so hot, like, he physically felt hot against me.
“Yes, touch me,” he groaned against my body.
He slowly started to move his hand down my stomach toward the part of me that cried the hardest for him. I could hardly wait for him to touch me. I was starting to ache so bad that it was becoming uncomfortable and I could feel the slide of moisture between my legs every time I moved. Finally, he pushed his hand between us and ran his finger across my clit. I thought I was going to jump out of the bed. The sensation that ran up my body caused me to cry out without any regard for what I would say.
“You’re so wet for me,” he whispered against my lips.
He ran his finger up and down just inside the lips of my most vulnerable parts, moving my moisture all around and causing me to breathe in little pants. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get a good breath. Then his finger slowly moved inside of me and I thought at that moment I’d never feel something so good ever again.
Slowly, he moved his finger in and out and I slammed my eyes closed and arched my back for more. I sank my teeth into my bottom lip and tried to quiet the animalistic sounds that were coming out of my mouth. When he slid a second finger into me I thought I was going to die from the pleasure of it. He continued to move his two fingers around in ways that caused waves of sensation throughout my belly. I felt tingly all over.
“You’re so tight and soft inside,” he breathed against the side of my neck.
He started using his thumb against my sensitive hot spot again while still moving his two fingers in and out of me and I thought I was about to explode. There was a build up like I had never felt before. It was making me squirm and pant, and I couldn’t even be embarrassed by my reaction. I couldn’t worry about how my body looked—all I cared about was making the ache between my legs stop.
“Do you ever touch yourself like this?” he asked softly.
There was no embarrassment, just the sweet ache.
“Yes,” I moaned.
“That’s so hot. I love it when a woman touches herself.” His fingers moved faster. “Have you ever made yourself cum?”
I shook my head no.
“We should do something about that, shouldn’t we?” he said breathlessly.
“Yes, please,” I begged.
I couldn’t even open my eyes. I was so close, I could feel it. So close. He stopped everything and pulled his fingers from me. I heard myself protest the sudden stop.
I wanted to cry.
That’s when I heard the zipper on his jeans and then the sound of rustling clothes. When I felt his hot hardness next to my thigh, I finally opened my eyes to look at him. This was really about to happen.
“Tell me you want me, Lilly. Tell me you want me inside of you.” He kissed me slowly as he positioned himself between my legs.
I could feel the tip of his heat against me, hard and pressing, and I wanted to thrust my hips for more. I wanted him deep, hard, and now!
“Please, Devin…,” I heard myself say as I started pressing myself against him.
“Say it, baby. Tell me you want me inside you—I need to hear it,”
“I want you, Devin, inside of me,” I whimpered.
“I don’t have condom, but I’ll pull out, OK?”
I had no idea what he was talking about, but I didn’t care.
“Uh huh,” I mumbled.
It burned and rubbed my ache when he slowly entered me. It felt so good, yet it stung as I stretched to accommodate his size.
Once he was in completely, he became suddenly still.
“Look at me, Lilly.” He sounded strained.
My eyes connected with his.
“Is this OK?” he asked. “Does it hurt?”
“Just a little.”
“Do you wanna stop?”
“No, please don’t stop.”
He leaned down and started kissing me as he slowly withdrew and then plunged inside of me again. It caused the nerves in my stomach to flinch. Funny noises that I didn’t recognize spilled from my lips.
In and out, over and over again and it was amazing. His breath in my ear and the smacking of our two bodies coming together was all I could hear. He seemed to slide into and touch every part that begged to be touched. He was so good at it and part of me knew that he was holding back for me.
“You feel so good, so tight. It’s been so long and you feel amazing, baby.” He said as he moved inside of me over and over again.
His pace changed and while he was still deep, he was moving faster. My breathing changed as I sucked in little bits of oxygen. The ache and tingle was slowly working its way up into my hips and down into my legs. There was something just out of my reach. I was pretty sure that I was about to have my first orgasm.
“Don’t stop,” I said desperately. “Please.”
I bit down on my bottom lip as the ache and tingle made its way into my lower stomach and sat and simmered. It snaked around my body and slowly started to dissolve. There was a rise…up and up and up and even though I’d never felt the fall before, I knew it was going to be wonderful.
“Oh my God, baby. I think I’m gonna…don’t stop,” I knew I was being loud, but I didn’t care who heard me.
I latched onto his ass and pressed him harder against me. I was so close I couldn’t take it anymore. Up and up some more, the rise kept going and I didn’t know how much higher I could get.
“Fuck. I have to stop now, Lilly.” I heard him say.
He sounded out of breath and in pain.
There was no way I was letting him stop. I was about to fall. Everything inside of me was about to melt into something miraculous.
Instead of letting him pull out, I latched on tighter and pressed him deeper. It was right there. Oh God, it was right there.
“I have to stop,” I heard him say louder.
“No! Don’t stop! I’m...”
I grabbed him and held on tighter as I made noises I’d never heard myself make. My body took on life of its own as the ache and tingle that was simmering in my lower stomach slowly dissolved into pure intense pleasure that poured out of my body. I felt myself tightening around him over and over again as each spasm of delight ripped through my body. I was dying! At least I felt like I was dying and it felt so damn fantastic.
“Yes, baby. That’s right, let it out.” He strained above me.
Then he was cursing himself.
He sped up which only intensified my release. I barely heard him saying something and making his own noises when finally, he let out a loud growling noise. His body jerked as he slammed himself hard and deep into me. Then everything stopped.
He held onto me like his life depended on it and I felt his whole entire body shaking. My legs were shuttering like crazy as a few more ripples of pleasure rolled through me.
We were breathing like we had just run a marathon. He lifted is face from my neck and a tiny bead of sweat dripped from his forehead and landed on my chest. Time stopped as he stared down at me like it was the first time he’d ever seen my face. He studied my face so critically that I was beginning to wonder if I’d transformed into someone else during my orgasm. I sure as Hell felt like a new woman.
He stayed on top of me and inside for a few seconds longer, before finally pulling away. I instantly felt his loss and I wanted to hold him to me, but instead he jumped up and started putting on his clothes. Suddenly, I felt too exposed and the embarrassment started to set in. I grabbed at my blanket to cover myself.
“What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?” I asked when he grabbed for his shoes.
“I said I needed to stop!” He growled at me and it made me jump.
He had never yelled at me and now he was mad. How could he be so mad after something so wonderful had just happened? I still felt tiny hints of spasm and delight and yet he was standing in front of me putting on his clothes like there was a fire and yelling at me.
“I’m sorry, I…,” I started.
“What if I’ve knocked you up?” He jerked his shirt over his head. “I said I didn’t have a condom, but you just kept pushing me to keep going!”
“But, Devin, I can’t…,” he cut me off again.
“Do you think I wanna get stuck with you like that?” He pointed at me and I caught his disgusted face as he bent down to tie his shoes.
In that moment a tiny piece of me died.
Pain shot through me, his words cutting so deeply that I was positive I was bleeding to death.
I didn’t even have time to tell him that it was impossible for me to get pregnant before he grabbed his keys and ran out my bedroom. I heard the front door opening and then I heard it slam shut… just like my heart.
I’d never in my life felt so used and disgusting. The look in his eyes at the thought of being “stuck” with me, it was tragic. Here I was, spilling my heart to him and giving myself to him in every way I could, and he was obviously pushing me away the entire time. I threw myself at him, and a man’s a man, they can only turn it away for so long, right?
He didn’t want me, but I was there and I was ready and what kind of stupid asshole would turn down a wet and ready female?
I fell back into my pillows and cried like I hadn’t cried since I was fifteen. I cried like it was freshman year all over again and I was being ridiculed for being the fat kid. I cried like I swore I’d never cry again and I made a promise to myself in that moment that this would really be the last time. I was done, done with everyone, especially Devin. I would never let myself get this hurt again. Never!