***
"Thanks again for meeting me tonight." I sat down across from Deza as my heart worked harder than it ever had before to keep up with my racing pulse.
"Of course. I can't believe Darren didn't call you." She rolled her eyes. "I swear. That man is going to be the death of me, and yet there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss him."
"He's a good guy, but he doesn't care much about my career. I've been doing commercials under his care for four years. I'm graduating soon and honestly have started to give up on my dreams of being an actress." I shrugged and pulled my napkin in my lap, deciding to go for honesty with the woman across the table from me. It was make it or break it time for me.
"That's sad. You're one of the most talented actresses that I've seen in forever, at least for your age." She huffed and picked up her menu. "I only got to see you for five minutes, but never in the ten years that I've been with Ethan have I seen him come alive like he did with you."
"Really?" The air pulled from my lungs as I watched her. "I thought he was just messing with me."
She laughed. "Oh, he tried to, but I think you won that round. He's a good guy with a shitty reputation. It's a lot harder to stand in the bright lights than most people know. You start to burn and your life flakes away while everyone's getting married, having kids and finding purpose."
"Wow. That's deep." I leaned back and set my menu down. "Don't humanize him for me, please. I'm already fighting against the attraction of him just being him. I might have put on a good show, but I'm one of the girls standing in line to see his next film, and don't you dare tell him that."
She laughed and set her menu down. "I like you already. We didn't get much time to talk the other day. Tell me about yourself."
"First you tell me what offer it is that you're bringing with you. I've been scared shitless over what you might or might not be offering me. I'm at the point of wanting to give up, remember?" I tried to hold back the emotions that beat hard against my insides. This lady didn't know me, and if she was anything like the other agents in Hollywood, she didn't want to.
"We're doing one more round of auditions. There are three of you that will be trying out." She gave me a tight smile. "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but you're in the lead by a good amount. Come to the audition and kill it like you did the other day. You hit a home run, and I'm thinking we're going to change your whole life."
"Okay." I nodded and glanced up as the server walked up. Deza ordered a sushi platter and I handed over my menu, willing to share with her.
"Now, tell me more about you. Darren must have seen your talent and been blown away. I'm a little shocked that he didn't work to develop your career a little, but he's a hard man to read." She shrugged and picked up her wine, taking a quick sip.
"I started acting like most people do in junior high and high school. I joined up with the drama club, though I was a cheerleader. Odd combination, I realize. I just wanted to express myself in a way that brought people joy or sadness or something. Drama was my outlet. I graduated valedictorian of Billmore High just down the road, and my speech at commencement was more of a dramatic retelling of the last four years for some of us. I used humor and strong emotions to bring the crowd every experience I could provide. Darren approached me afterward and offered me an audition for a commercial."
"His niece must have graduated with you." She smiled. "Keep going."
"I started at UCLA, hoping that the acting career would take off, but it never did. I tried to get my foot in the door over and over the first two years, but after that it was easier to pull my head from the clouds and get a real job that would pay the bills. My dad died when I was little, and my mom never has gotten herself back together. I kept hoping that I would land something big so that I could pull her out of her poverty, you know?"
She nodded and took a slow breath. "That's powerful stuff. I love it. Thank you for sharing yourself with me. Most actors will make something up and live behind that made-up persona just to survive. I'm scared that Ethan has started to do that."
I tilted my head to the side and studied her a little. "You really care about him, don't you? I mean, not just as a meal ticket, but as a brother or friend or lover."
She smirked. "Is that your way of asking if we're sleeping together?"
"No. I would have just asked. I'm embarrassingly straight forward. I can't seem to help but be direct, even when it's detrimental." I laughed and picked up my mixed drink, lifting it in the air and smiling at her. "To new beginnings, even if we never get one. Someone's getting it."
She laughed and hit my glass. "I think you have one coming, kiddo. You've got a great story, a good cause to push you forward and passion. It's the thing that will drive you to be better than the best."
"I'm not sure that's who I want to be, but I'm willing to show up for the audition whenever it is." I leaned back. "It's another love scene, right?"
"Yeah, but this one is long and far more intimate. Ethan actually hates them, but we figured if we were going to do another action movie, that we'll be filming two to three sex scenes that force him to make like he's having sex with his co-star. They are the hardest scenes to pull off."
"I know." I tapped the table and pursed my lips, thinking through whether I wanted another scene with Ethan's hands on me. I wasn't sure it was such a good idea, but it was just acting. Just play making. Nothing real or sustaining. No commitment.
I needed to find Jace and have him take me to his bed the night before going to see Ethan again. That would at least chill me out. I was far too sexual to just show up and go through the motions with him without wanting to push things past the casual working relationship. Not that a guy like him would ever want a simple girl like me, but one could dream.
"So we'll do another one and then make our final decision. Should you get the part, we'll give you a week to think things through."
"And would you guys consider letting me have a long conversation with Ethan? I want to pick his brain and make sure we would be compatible as co-workers. He's a little more crude than I expected, and where that doesn't bother me too much, I want to understand what I'm getting into." I picked up my glass and took a drink, enjoying the burn of the liquor as it raced down my chest.
"You're not like anyone I've ever met. Most women would jump at the chance to breathe Ethan's air, but something tells me that you're going to give him a run for his money, and honey, he's got loads of it." She laughed.
I smirked. "I'm just practical. I want the part, don't get me wrong, but I can't chase a dream that's too hazy to make out. I want to understand it better and make a good decision should the offer come up."
"Then we'll have you meet with Ethan either way." She thanked the server as the girl set the sushi platter down. "One more thing."
"Sure." I picked up my chopsticks and started to pull a few items onto my plate.
"Darren isn't doing you any good. Consider letting me pick you up to be agented by me whether this offer goes through or not. I have time for one more strong actor on my list. I'd like that to be you." She lifted her eyebrow at me. "Just consider it."
"Okay. I can do that, but if we decide to work together, I have one request."
"Sure, anything."
"You tell him." I laughed, teasing her as her face fell.
"Never mind! You're not that great."