Chapter 7

Riley

"Your family is hoping that we can go over to the luncheon in a couple of hours. Do you think you'll feel up to it?" Charlotte brushed her hand down my back as I stood in the kitchen with my hands on the counter and eyes focused on the view of the street below.

"Hmm? No, I'm good. I don't want to go over there. I can't." I shrugged, not really caring what anyone thought about me not making an appearance. My family was weird at best and now that I had found some semblance of success, they were a little too loving. It was fucked up, and I wasn't in the mood to pretend like it wasn't.

"No problem. I'll let your Aunt Debbie know." She rubbed my back for another few seconds before walking out of the kitchen and leaving me in my numbness.

I couldn't seem to shake the image of Ethan watching me in the foyer of the funeral home. The longing on his face showed me the part of him that I wanted to pretend didn't exist. It made things easier. We were supposed to make movies together, not fall in love. Or lust, or whatever the fuck we were in.

"Hey baby. I got the sheets changed on your bed. Come lay down with me." Jace wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his lips to the side of my neck.

I relaxed against him and whimpered softly as desire resurrected. I needed to feel anything but the clammy cold I was experiencing. "Can you take the tray in the fridge over to my aunt’s hotel first, and then we can go to bed."

"Anything you want." He slid one of his hands up to cup my throat and the other down to rest on my sex as he squeezed both softly. "I want to take care of you this afternoon, make you forget everything."

Lust burned through the center of my body and pooled between my thighs as I rolled my hips and rubbed myself against his erection.

"I need that." I closed my eyes, forcing myself to see him and no one else. He was my lover, not Ethan. I'd let him take care of me for years, and that wasn't changing now just because I was having trouble keeping myself grounded in reality. Ethan Lewis was the biggest man-whore in all of the universe. He wasn't interested in me, and I wasn't willing to sustain another loss. The bastard hadn't even called since Rio.

He was at the funeral today. He caught you when you fell.

"Good. I'll run this over to the hotel your family is staying at and be back in an hour. No going to bed though. I want you to wait for me." He licked the side of my throat and growled softly against my ear. "I wanna lick every part of you."

"Please?" I whimpered again and cupped my hand over his, pressing him to hold my mound tighter. Delight danced in my stomach and I knew without a doubt that I was going to give myself over to him for the day. Whatever he wanted to do... I just wanted to feel warmth. Pleasure. Acceptance. Hope.

"Fuck yeah." He bit the skin under my ear and growled softly. "I'm going to take my time and remind you why you belong to me."

"Do I? Belong to you?" I turned in his arms, breaking his sensual hold on my body and sliding my arms up his thick chest.

"Do you want to?" He leaned down and brushed his lips by mine. "I know you have something going on with Ethan. Do I want to know what?"

"Are you asking?" I lifted to my toes and kissed him softly a few times. He was so familiar. His smell, his strength, his voice. It was the blanket I'd carried with me from my teenage years. I wasn't sure anything could force me to give him up.

"Yeah, I am." He nipped at my lips as desire filled his dark blue eyes.

"There's nothing between us. Acting together has us lusting after each other a little, but nothing has happened, nor will it." I wrapped my arms around his neck and lifted, pulling him down for a long, hot kiss as he gripped my ass and forced me to wrap my legs around him.

"Okay. There's that." Charlotte's voice in the background forced me to pull back a little.

"Sorry, Char," I called after her as we stood by the sink, my dress pushed up over my thighs, my legs wrapped around him as he dry humped me and kissed me with a passion most women would die for. Why was I trying to get Ethan's attention? His heart?

"I'll be right back." Jace glanced down the length of my body and smiled. "Why don't you get naked and get in the bed for me?"

"You don't wanna undress me?" I let my legs drop and slid down the front of his strong body.

"I might tear something today. It's been awhile." He leaned down and kissed me. "I can't seem to sleep with another woman without wishing she were you."

"Don't you go falling in love with me, Jace Dillon. I don't wanna break your heart." I patted his chest and forced a smile.

"Too late, baby girl." He kissed me again and released me, grabbing the tray from the fridge, the address from Charlotte and leaving.

"Sorry about that," I mumbled as I walked into the living room and dropped down on the couch beside her. My pretenses were down and my lust cold.

"It's all right." She reached over and took my hand. "I'm worried about you. I know you don't love Jace. Why are you acting like you do?"

"I do love Jace. He's my guy best friend." I let my head drop back and turned to watch her. She was so much better put together than me, both in her looks and her personality. Jealously reared its ugly head, but I pushed it back down. She would think I was stupid for even mentioning it. The grass was always greener on the other side for sure.

"Right, but he's not your romantic interest, Riley." She squeezed my hand and let out a soft sigh. "I told Jeff I couldn't see him anymore."

"I thought you did that weeks ago."

"I did, but I reneged on it. I thought maybe I could get past the fact that he's horrible in bed, but I can't. I love passion, and sex is part of that. I like the guy, but I could never really fall head over heels in love with him."

"How about Jace?" I gave her a cheeky smile. "He's killer in bed."

"And the fact that you're offering him up tells me once again... he's not your man. You don't care if he sleeps around, but here's the problem... he cares if you do. I overheard you guys in the kitchen. He's finally growing up, not that I ever thought that would happen, but he's going to want you to settle down. Are you really wanting to do that with him?"

"Do I have a better option?" I wanted to feel something - anything - but the same numbness that had been wrapped around my insides still sat there. The only moment of warmth I'd had in three days was in the kitchen moments before.

"The fact that you're unsure means you need to wait on all of this."

"I'm fucking Jace today. I need a release - badly." I lifted my eyebrow at her as if challenging me would leave one of us bloody.

"Fine. Fuck him all you like, but you need to take a step back because of what's happened, Riley. You have a little bit more left of school and your spring production. Get through that before you try and make any big decisions. That's enough stress with losing your mom too."

"You're right." I closed my eyes and tried not to think about Ethan. "I'm just going to have to take things moment by moment until I figure out where I'm headed."

"With your career, or with your love interest?"

"Both." I sat up and pulled my hand from hers. "Maybe I should ask for some coaching too. I feel like Ethan is years ahead of me in acting, which leaves my confidence a little on the fritz. Do you think Deza would get me someone?"

"Oh, no doubt. Ask her while it's still on your mind." She moved up closer and pressed her shoulder next to mine. "I'm here for you. You know that, right?"

I smiled and glanced toward her. "Yeah. I'm glad too. I couldn't do it without you."

"Go call Deza and get some rest. I'll kick Jace out."

"No, let him come back when he gets here. I need him." I got up and stretched.

"You sure?"

"Yep." I picked up my phone and texted Deza, thanking her for coming to the funeral and asking if they would consider bringing in a coach for me. Someone other than Ethan. He had enough on his shoulders without us trying to carve more time out for him to help me get up to speed on various aspects of acting.

She responded immediately that she would get someone and was there if I needed her.

I tossed the phone on the bed and crawled in it, exhausted by everything. A nap would do me good, but for some reason, I couldn't get the memories from my childhood to stop playing behind my eyes. Every good and bad moment I could remember moved through my mind's eye like it was stuck on an old picture reel.

An hour must have passed as I lay there in the darkened room, because the door opened, and Jace whispered softly into the emptiness, pulling me from my thoughts.

"You awake?"

"Yeah, but I'm not naked." I meant to sound cheeky or cute, but my voice was a hollowed whisper.

"That's all right." He closed the door and pulled his shirt over his head before moving up to lie beside me in the bed.

I moved into his arms and brushed my lips by his neck. "I don't think I can commit to anything more than sex right now. I don't know why, but the world feels like it's turned upside down, like maybe I'm headed in the wrong direction. Maybe I need to stop moving altogether until I figure it out."

"I'm good with that." He moved down my body and traced a line through my center with the tip of his nose. I groaned in delight as my body reacted to his nearness. "How about you hush and just let me take care of you tonight?"

"Yeah," I whispered and spread my legs as he rested between them. I pulled at my dress, forcing it up around my waist and pushed at my panties as he gripped my hands.

"Relax and let me do what I want. Stop trying to be in charge. You know I don't allow that." He pressed his mouth to my center over my panties and breathed in deeply. "Let me fuck you, Ri."

Pleasure danced along my nerve endings as he pulled my panties to the side and ran his tongue over my sensitive skin.

I moaned loudly, almost embarrassed by how badly I needed him to be exactly where he was.

"You like that, baby?" he whispered before sucking my clit into his mouth.

"More," I groaned and reached down to sink my fingers into his hair. All I could see was Ethan when I closed my eyes, so I didn't close them. Not once throughout the hour of Jace making me come over and over again.

"So delicious, Ri." He moved up my body and pressed himself against me. "Let me hold you while you sleep, yeah?"

I mumbled something incoherent and sighed with relief. I wanted him to press me to the bed and fuck me until I couldn't move, and yet I knew I wasn't going to be able to let him. My eyes were too heavy to keep them open anymore, and damn if I was going to let him be Ethan.

I couldn't. I wouldn't survive the guilt.