Chapter 18

Ethan

"Fuck." I paced around in the kitchen as my body ached for the girl outside on the patio. That she had lifted up to kiss me left me breathless, confused. I wasn't in a fucking movie. I was standing in real life faced with a hard decision. It was the type of situation that I kept myself out of, and always had. I never slept with my co-workers, never.

Some girl on the set, a pretty whore from the crowd, a slut from a fan club? Absolutely. But the beautiful woman that I would have to see every day for ten months? Never. Besides... what would she think when we got hot and heavy, and...

"And I didn't fit?" I pressed my hands to my face, growling softly as hard emotion ripped through me. I hadn't wanted a woman in years as badly as I wanted Riley.

And I'd embarrassed her, no doubt. She had it written all over her face. She was mortified that I denied her the kiss. Why did she go for it? She had made it quite clear that she wasn't interested in anything more than a professional relationship.

The door opened, and I forced myself to stop pacing and walk calmly to the fridge. I turned and looked at her, memorizing the way her skirt swished around her taut thighs. "You okay?"

"Oh, yeah. I need to go though. My roommate just called and is locked out of the house." She gave me an apologetic look. For an actress with mad talent, she was failing miserably with her current lie.

"Yeah, sure. We'll have a rain check. Just don't tell Deza I'm going to eat this whole cheesecake by myself." I let the fridge close and walked toward her as my stomach soured. I was the biggest playboy in Hollywood. Was I really letting this beautiful creature walk out of my house instead of into my bedroom for a long night of hearing her moan and pant?

The idea of giving her pleasure caused my balls to tighten and I groaned as I followed her to the door.

She glanced back, her eyebrow lifting. "You all right?"

"Yeah, just hit my toe the other day, and it's yet to heal. The damn thing keeps catching if I'm not careful." I smirked. "I'm getting old. Don't tell my adoring fan club."

"Never." She moved to the front door, and I opened it, trying to think of what I could possibly say to her to make her feel better about the almost-kiss outside, but nothing came to mind. Everything sounded silly and contrite in my head.

"Thanks for coming over tonight. Any time you have questions, you know I'm happy to answer them. I'm not an asshole all the time." I smiled and leaned against the door, studying her beautiful features and wondering why she wasn't fast in love with a lucky man who was worthy of her.

"I should be thanking you." She gave me a tight smile, and I could see her fighting tears. Fuck.

Invite her to your bed. Stop this stupid bullshit game. She wants you. You want her. Stop denying yourself.

"Naw... it's all good." I took a quick breath and backed up. "I'll see you tomorrow. Be safe going home tonight."

"One more thing, Ethan." She pressed her hand to the door as her voice lost volume. She was going to cry again.

No. Anything but that. Fuck.

"Yeah, sure. What?" I gripped the door tightly to keep from reaching out and touching her.

"This might come out wrong, but why wouldn't you be concerned with wearing the protective cup the other day during our audition?" She pressed her teeth into her lip and gave me the most beautifully innocent look I could remember seeing.

"I didn't expect to get turned on. Forgive me." I smirked. "I’m just a guy though. Flesh and blood like you said."

"And it was Trish that left you turned on?" She lifted her chin a little.

This was the moment of truth. My time to tell her that it was her. That I was highly attracted to her. So the fuck what.

"Yeah, she's a great girl. Do you know her?" My insides contracted painfully as she steeled her resolve. The light in her eyes dimmed a little, and we were right back where we started. Common acquaintances after a common mission. To make a good film. Nothing more. Nothing less.

"No, but I would love to meet her. Thanks again. See you tomorrow." She smiled and turned, walking to her car slowly.

I closed the door and pressed my back to it, letting out a long groan.

"What the fuck is the matter with you?" I pulled my phone from my pocket as I started to pant. My heart was racing, my body sticky with a sweat that had rolled over me.

"This is Jazz."

"It's Ethan. I need you." I closed my eyes and swallowed hard.

"It’s been awhile, baby, but no worries. I'll be right over."

I nodded and let the phone drop to the floor before walking into the kitchen and grabbing the bottle of wine on the counter. I lifted it to my lips and drank deeply, wanting to be half fucked up by the time Jazz got here. She was one of the many women that played around in my bed, but she looked more like Riley than any of the others, and she was right… it had been a long time. Why had I denied myself a for sure thing in hopes of discovering someone new? There was no reason to play the field. It almost never ending with me satisfied.

I'd done good. Made the right decision. And if that was the case, why did it feel so fucking rotten?

I dropped down in a chair in the living room and finished off the wine by the time Jazz got there. She knocked once and walked in, locking the door behind her and moving down in front of me.

Her pretty face was done up with far too much make-up, but it didn't matter. I'd have my eyes closed soon.

"Rough day, baby?" She licked at her lips and worked on my belt.

"Yeah. Horrible." I ran my fingers down the side of her face.

She turned and sucked two of my digits in her mouth as I lifted my hips and let her pull my slacks off of me. A groan left me as she moved back and gripped my cock tightly, lavishing the top of it with the wetness of her tongue.

"Take as much as you can, Jazz." I slid my hand into her hair and lifted my hips as she stroked me.

"You're a big boy, Ethan. You can't expect any woman-"

"As much as you can." I tried to keep my tone soft, but it was hardening as my need was rising. "Get started."

I pulled her down onto me as she wrapped both hands around my shaft and went to work. My head dropped back and the world faded. The only woman between my legs was the one I'd rejected moments before.

My tight grip on her hair loosened just a little, but my thrusts got faster, harder. I could hear Jazz gagging and groaning due to my size, but I couldn’t stop myself. I didn't want to be gentle or tender. I wanted to be normal.

"Come, Ethan. Come for me," she whispered, but I heard Riley's voice.

"Yeah." I licked my lips and reached down, pushing her hands away and stroking myself hard. "Put your mouth back on me."

"Anything you want." She gripped my thighs and sucked hard as I worked myself over the edge. I cried out as tears lined my eyes, my body buckling at the intensity of the orgasm.

She sat back as I continued to work myself, not worried about what she might need from me.

A knock at the door should have brought me to, but I couldn't seem to get past the wine, the pleasure, the need.

"I'll get it, baby. Stay here. Take care of yourself." She leaned down and kissed me several times before I grabbed the back of her neck and locked her into place as I licked and sucked at her soft lips.

Riley.

Another knock.

She pulled back. "One minute."

I nodded and leaned back farther, punishing myself with my tight grasp. I cried out as another orgasm hit me full force, knocking the wind out of me and stealing my sense of reason.

She moved up beside me and smiled. "You want me to fuck you now?"

"Yes. The condoms are on the bedside table. Grab a few of them." I panted loudly as my eyes moved around the room. The door. "Who was at the door?"

"No one. Guess they left?" She smiled and walked to the back of the house. She came back moments later and dropped a handful of condoms beside me. "You look good, baby. Such a fine man. You know that though, don't you?"

"Yeah. So fucking fine." My sarcasm raged through the liquor. "Who was at the door?"

I grunted as she pushed a condom over my swollen shaft and turned from me, tugging her skirt up. My fingers dug into her flesh as she moved to sit in my lap and pressed herself down on me, taking the head of my cock inside of her.

"Fuck," I growled and lifted my hips as she pressed her hands against my thighs.

"Whoa, baby. Let me take a little at a time. It’s been far too long." She leaned against me and opened her legs wide. "Touch my clit, Ethan."

"Touch your own clit." I licked at the side of her neck and lifted up, pushing more into her. "Come on, Jazz. Finish it."

She laughed and rocked against me as I drew in long, deep breaths.

"Easier said than done." She pressed her thighs together and stood up, leaning over and bobbing on the tip of my dick. "Let's just get you off a few times. You're not in the mood for a long night."

"Take more." I pulled at her, still half lost to my stupor. "Riley could take it all."

"Well, Riley isn't here, sweetheart." She pressed down more as I gripped her ass and lifted my hips, not registering the fact that she was getting pissy with me.

She stood up and turned around, giving me a look. "I said I couldn't take any more. I have to work myself up to take a guy like you, Ethan. You know that."

"Okay." I tugged the condom off and threw it at her. "Then get out. I ordered a whore, not a Girl Scout."

I let my head drop back, ignoring the tongue lashing I got as she told me all the things I already knew about myself. The door slammed a few minutes later and I picked up the bottle on the floor next to me and threw it as hard as I could. It ricocheted into a million pieces as I tugged my slacks up and stumbled to the bed.

This life sucked, and yet it was the only one I knew.

Fuck Riley.

Fuck all of them.