Ezra had taken me to the most beautiful place I’d ever seen.
Closing my eyes, I breathed in the fresh air and soaked in the sounds of nature. The grass in the clearing had been recently cut, and the scent reminded me of the football field back home. Leaves rustled in the wind, birds chirped, and the rushing water of the stream enhanced the best sound—or lack thereof.
Silence. Blissful, wonderful silence.
It reminded me of all the Friday afternoons Ezra and I had spent in the library, just him and me.
After living on campus for a couple weeks, I’d started getting used to the constant noise.
Sort of.
There really wasn’t any way to block out the racket in the dorms. People were coming and going at all hours of the day and night. Laughing, shouting, doors slamming, music playing, traffic from the busy street right outside my window. Plus, my roommate snored. I’d given up on using earplugs because I could never seem to get them in right and always ended up with an earache in the morning.
This was the most peaceful moment I’d experienced since leaving home.
I hadn’t been sure what to expect for our first date, but this was better than any fancy restaurant. More magical than the castles at Disney World.
But the icing on the cake? I was with Ezra. Alone.
Speechless.
I had no words as I gazed at the tall, white cylindrical tower looming ahead of us. The intricate designs of the wrought iron were covered in ivy, those green leaves weaving and wrapping around every foot of the three-story structure. At the top, there was a copper roof covering the open circular room with a 360-degree view.
A child-like giddiness erupted inside me at the thought of climbing all the way up.
“Can we go up there?” I didn’t wait for Ezra to answer before forging ahead, snagging his wrist and dragging him behind me.
He laughed. “I think so. It looks like the stairs are open.”
There was no door or chain barring us from going up the spiral staircase. Our footsteps made heavy sounds on the metal, and Pierre clamored up with us, seeming less like a stoic servant and more like the dog he was.
Sunlight filtered through the iron and ivy as we climbed higher and higher. Even though the walls were open to the outside, it felt private. Like we were in our own little world.
And when we reached the concrete platform at the top, I gasped. It was like we were in a gazebo floating above the trees. The greenery stretched on for miles, fading into the horizon.
The sun was going down now. We must’ve been walking for longer than I thought.
“Look.” Ezra pointed at the clouds. “This is just like the drawing I sent from the retreat—the one where I tried to capture the sunset, but I didn’t have my colored pencils. This shade—” He gestured at the bright pink streaks that were dimming to a darker orange before tucking a curl behind my ear. “—reminds me of your hair.”
His fingertip moved over my cheek, then lightly brushed down my nose. My heart violently knocked around inside my chest, stealing my breath.
“When I drew your face, I used to imagine I was touching you just like this.” He traced the line of my top lip like I was his canvas. Smudged his thumb over my chin. My cheekbone. My eyebrows. “I can’t believe you’re here with me.”
My eyes closed. I needed him to keep telling me his deepest feelings. I wanted to own all his secrets.
“How many times have I drawn you?” he asked, then chuckled. “I guess you already know the answer to that. You’ve seen everything.” Moving his thumb to my left eye, he lightly grazed my lashes. “Open your eyes.”
I did as he said, locking onto his intense expression as he studied me up close.
“I never could get this part just right, even with my colored pencils. At first glance, someone might think your eyes are green. But they’re not. There’s so much more—dark, light, gray, brown, even a little blue.” He cocked his head to the side, his expression curious. “How could you ever think you’re just average?”
Where had this version of Ezra been hiding over the past several years? If he’d said these things to me back in high school, I might’ve orgasmed on the spot. Hell, I was in danger of doing that now.
I tried not to squirm, but I couldn’t stop myself from rubbing my thighs together.
“Have you drawn me lately?” I asked. “Any new stuff I haven’t seen yet?”
He shook his head. “I was hoping I wouldn’t have to anymore. I’d rather have the real thing. I’ve memorized so many parts of you.” He continued the sweet torture as his soft touch trailed down my neck, between my breasts, over my shirt, and stopped at my belly button. “I’d really like to memorize the rest.”
The only word that popped up in my mind was please. I was one second away from begging.
But it wasn’t like we could just go at it out here, especially with Pierre as a witness.
Instead, I forced my wobbly legs to move and I dropped down on the stone bench. Ezra followed, sitting so close our thighs melded.
“Why did you like me in high school?” I wondered out loud. I hadn’t actually meant to speak the question, but now that it was out there, I wanted the answer. Resting my head on his shoulder, I added, “What did you see in me that first day? And don’t say it’s because I was good at everything, because you know that’s not true.”
“As soon as I saw you, it was just a feeling of… knowing. I don’t know how else to explain it.” Draping an arm over my shoulder, he stroked my hair. “A crush, I guess. If you’d been an awful person, it probably would’ve gone away. But you were the only person outside of my family who didn’t make me feel like I was broken or defective.”
Frowning, I lifted my head to look him in the eye. “That’s because you’re not.”
“Thank you,” he said, his voice full of emotion, and I could tell he really meant it. He was saying thank you for accepting him, for seeing who he was on the inside.
“I’m surprised by how talkative you’ve been with me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you weren’t much for words before. Always the strong, silent type.”
He scoffed. “I was too scared I’d say the wrong thing, so I just didn’t say anything at all. I might’ve been silent, but I definitely wasn’t strong.”
Obviously, he had a skewed view of himself because he was wrong about that. I wished I could hold a mirror up in front of him. Wished he could see the same reflection I did.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Uh huh,” Ezra responded, sounding distracted as he wrapped one of my curls around his finger.
“You might not even know what I’m talking about because it was a long time ago… But do you remember the time Craig O’Donnell knocked your books out of your arms in the hallway?”
His hand paused. “Yeah, I remember. You helped me pick them back up.”
I nodded.
“Then later that day in art class, Craig didn’t have the charcoal pencil he needed to finish his project,” I continued. “And you gave him yours.”
“Yeah. He would’ve had to take a hit to his grade if he didn’t turn it in on time.”
“Why?” I shifted slightly toward him. “After what he did, why would you be nice to him?”
“My grandma Beverly says that sometimes when people do mean things, it has nothing to do with anyone else. Craig didn’t do it because he didn’t like me. I was merely a distraction for his unhappiness.”
Not knowing how to respond, I just blinked at him before asking, “What do you think people like him are unhappy about?”
“Could be anything. Their home life. The way they look. Maybe they don’t feel loved. Maybe they’re suffering from depression. Sometimes it’s a power play—it’s about control. Dictating others because they feel out of control themselves. Lack of control over your own life is a terrible feeling; I know that firsthand. That’s why I’m so glad I went to the retreat. I got my life back.”
“That all makes sense, I guess. I still wish people didn’t act that way, though. People were mean to you.”
Shrugging, Ezra went back to stroking my hair. “It sucked, but I tried not to take it personally. Sometimes people need mercy instead of retaliation. I might not be able to control anyone else, but one thing I can do is hold myself accountable for my own actions.”
I kissed his cheek. “Some people might believe that way of thinking makes you a doormat. But they’d be wrong. That makes you stronger than anyone I’ve ever known.”
“There were plenty of people who weren’t affected by my charms,” he said wryly. “I think you might be giving me too much credit. You do remember how I lost my cool with AJ, right?”
“That prick had it coming,” I gritted out, still bitter about how many people he’d been cruel to.
Ezra sighed. “I guess some people won’t change, no matter what you do. I chose to show Craig kindness, and you know what? He never messed with me again.”
My sweet, sweet man. He was too soft for this world, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. His gentle heart was the best part about him. Just when I thought it wasn’t possible to love him more, he went and said something like that.
Poking the dimple on his chin, I softly confessed, “I think I fell in love with you that day.”
Surprised, he reared back a little. “That was sophomore year.”
“I wasn’t kidding when I said I’d had feelings for you for a long time.” Overwhelmed with vulnerability, I gazed out at the darkening sky.
The L-word was out there now. Speaking it was different than haphazardly writing it at the end of a letter. I’d tossed it up like confetti, hoping Ezra would catch all the precious pieces before they blew away in the breeze. Hoping he’d want to keep them.
And he didn’t leave me hanging.
Dropping a kiss to my temple, he quietly admitted, “I fell in love with you long before that.”
I let Ezra drive on the way back, and he pointed at a large café when we got into town. “You wanna stop here for dinner?”
“Yeah. If you want we can just do the drive-thru,” I suggested, my motive purely selfish. I didn’t feel like sharing him with anyone just yet, even if it was a restaurant full of strangers.
He nodded. “We can drop Pierre off at my place after we get food, then we can go eat at your room. I haven’t even seen the dorms yet.”
“Braggart,” I snipped, and he grinned. Damn, he was lucky to have an apartment. “You’re not missing anything, but okay.”
He rolled around the building to the big lit-up menu behind a car with someone placing their order.
But I blanched when I saw the prices.
“Eight dollars for a sandwich? Can we do fast food instead?” I asked, thinking of the precious money I’d been trying to save.
Ezra shook his head. “This is a date. I’m paying, so get whatever you want.”
“If you’re sure…”
“I’m sure. Besides, I can’t eat that crappy food anymore. I don’t follow the strict diet from the retreat, but I still try to make good decisions. I miss hamburgers like a motherfucker, but I don’t miss the way they made me feel.”
I sighed. “You’re right, though. Healthy is better. And if I stick with you, maybe my ass will shrink,” I joked, patting my backside.
Smiling, he shook his head.
At the end of our order—a grilled chicken salad for Ezra and a club sandwich for me—he added on a large double chocolate milkshake and smirked in my direction. “Can’t have your ass shrinking on my watch.”
Dorm life sucked so bad.
I rarely saw my roommate, but I’d already come to the conclusion that she hated me. It didn’t help that she was a dead-ringer for Abby one. Tall and blond, manicured nails, perfectly applied makeup, and a massive collection of shoes organized under her bed.
And of course her name started with an A.
I had to remind myself that Ashlyn wasn’t part of the A-squad. Being pretty didn’t make her a mean girl.
But our only real interaction happened on the day she moved in a week ago.
I had said, “Hi.”
She’d grunted out something akin to a hello in response.
When I tried to follow up with questions about where she was from and what classes she was taking, she answered with southern Ohio and Gen Ed. The conversation stopped there because she didn’t ask anything in return.
I didn’t know what to do with a dead-end conversation like that.
I hated small talk that felt awkward and forced. So I stopped asking questions because I didn’t want to pester the girl. Figured maybe she was nervous or homesick, and she’d come around when she was ready.
We hadn’t spoken since.
She was usually still asleep when I left for work and still out late when I got home for bed.
So imagine my frustration when I thought Ezra and I would have the room to ourselves, only to find that Ashlyn was very much present and completely interested in my boyfriend.
We’d just finished our food when she came in, and all of the sudden she was Chatty Cathy.
“Ezra, right?” She made herself comfortable on her bed across from mine. “I’m Ashlyn. I heard you’re pledging Pi Kap.”
What the hell? She already knew his name? I wasn’t even sure if she remembered mine. The frat must’ve been a bigger deal than I originally thought if Ezra’s name was already known around campus. And on the second day of class, no less.
Grinning, he nodded. “That’s the plan.”
“They have the best parties,” she prattled on. “And supposedly, last year they won first place in every competition during Greek week.”
“I was at the frat house last night,” he returned. “It was interesting for sure.”
“It surprised me a little,” I said, shoving my way into the conversation. “I thought it would be different from high school parties.”
“But it wasn’t?” Ezra cocked his head to the side. “Guess I don’t have much experience to compare it to.”
“Drinking, beer pong, daring people to make out in closets…” Smirking at the reminder of our heated-kiss-turned-heavy-petting session, I gave a noncommittal shrug. “Seemed pretty par for the course to me.”
“I was there last night, too,” Ashlyn butted in. “Did you see me? I was totally kicking ass at the beer pong table.”
Chuckling, Ezra locked eyes with me as he toyed with one of my curls. “I seem to have tunnel vision when it comes to my girl.”
Boom. Best answer ever.
“Oh.” Ashlyn let out an uncomfortable laugh. “I thought you two just met last night. I didn’t realize you were a serious thing.”
His gaze didn’t leave mine. “As serious as serious gets.”
“Well then.” My roommate got up and moved toward the door while muttering about having someplace to be.
I wasn’t paying much attention because I was focused on the blue eyes I loved so much. The door clicked shut and I scooted back a little so I could look at him better.
“You really shut that shit down,” I said, impressed.
“What?” He played clueless.
“Let’s not pretend she wasn’t two seconds away from humping your leg, okay?”
He laughed. “I was just being honest.”
I liked it when he was honest. The shy boy I’d known was still there under the surface somewhere, but this version of Ezra—confident and outspoken—was incredibly sexy.
“I’m glad Ashlyn left. I was really hoping to get you alone tonight.” Hey, if he could be direct, so could I. “So I’m your girl, huh?”
“And I’m your guy.”
“Are you sure that’s what you want? I mean, you could have anyone. You know that, right?” I glanced down at my hands as I anxiously twisted my fingers together. “Pretty sure I’ve seen a couple girls frothing at the mouth when you’re around.”
“I want you,” he responded, his tone certain.
“What if you change your mind?”
Placing his finger under my chin, he tilted my face up so I had to look him in the eye. “Kayla, you’re the only one I’ve ever wanted. I don’t even know what it’s like to want anyone else.”
Pitter-patter. “Neither do I.”
He didn’t hesitate to wrap his hand around the back of my neck and bring my lips to his, and I opened my mouth, meeting his tongue with mine in slow strokes.
A growl rumbled in his throat and his fingers flexed in my hair.
I’d never kissed anyone else but, even though I had no other experience to compare it to, I could tell Ezra was very good at it. A natural.
Or maybe we were just really good together.
Our tongues danced in slow motion, like we could predict how the other would move at the same time. It was deeply satisfying.
But I also wanted more.
Scraping my fingernails up the back of Ezra’s neck, I sank my teeth into his bottom lip, then soothed it with a lick.
He moaned, so I did it again. I was baiting him. Testing his limits and trying to make him lose control.
It worked.
What could’ve been an innocent kiss quickly turned into something else. Something hot and desperate.
Groaning, Ezra kissed me like he was trying to regain every moment we’d ever missed out on. Like he was making up for lost time.
And I was losing my mind, drowning in a sea of lust.
I’d never felt more wanted or loved. It was so intoxicating, all I could do was try to keep up with him and remember to breathe.
As he licked into my mouth, I became very aware that we were alone. On a bed. Hopefully about to do dirty things to each other on top of the rag quilt I’d made.
“Ezra,” I pleaded against his lips. I didn’t know how to ask for what I wanted, but it was as if he could read my mind.
Tightening the grip he had on my hair, his other hand went down to my breast and his thumb caressed my hard nipple over my shirt. Then he pinched it, and it was like a livewire of electricity shot straight to my clit.
Somehow, we’d shifted until I was lying on my back and Ezra was on top of me. My legs were stuck at a weird angle, still dangling over the side of the bed.
I was throbbing and achy between my thighs, and I whimpered as Ezra latched onto my neck. Tingles spread through my body at the gentle suck, suck, suck at my pulse point.
He nipped at a place under my ear, then continued the little love bites all the way down to my collarbone, his rough stubble scratching along the way.
Torn between wanting him back on my mouth and loving the new sensations on my sensitive skin, I let out a tortured moan.
Clutched his shirt in my hands.
Wiggled beneath him.
I needed friction. I needed kisses. I needed him everywhere.
Without removing his lips from my neck, Ezra lifted his body up, dragged my legs onto the mattress, then spread my thighs. As he settled between them, his hard length pressed against my core.
I whimpered.
There. I needed him there.
“Better?” he panted.
“So much,” I breathed out before pulling his mouth back to mine.
Out of pure instinct, we began rocking against each other, discovering what sex would be like. The only roadblock stopping us from the real thing was the layers of clothing separating our most intimate parts.
Wetness coated the inside of my panties, and if we kept going like this, there was a chance I would soak through my jeans.
Ezra’s cock rubbed me in all the right spots, and a pleasant tightening clenched in my lower belly. I knew what that meant. It was a feeling I’d reached many times by myself.
My mouth opened and my head tilted back as I allowed my body to give into the orgasm that was about to roll through me.
But then Ezra abruptly pulled back, putting several inches of distance between us.
Whining, I shot him a lust-filled glare. “Why did you stop?”
“Kayla. I—” He stopped, shaking his head. The muscles of his arms and shoulders were tense as he braced himself over me.
I leaned up on my elbows. “What’s wrong?” When he didn’t answer, I got concerned. “Seriously, Ezra. We’re supposed to be upfront with each other, remember?”
“Okay.” He nodded, drawing in a ragged breath. His eyes met mine head-on. “I stopped because I was about to come.”
I giggled. But then I immediately stopped when his face flushed, realizing he’d taken it the wrong way.
“I’m not laughing at you. I just think it’s funny because I was about to come, too. I was this close.” I held up my fingers, pinching them together.
“Really?” His face lit up like I’d just told him the best news ever, and I giggled again.
“Come back here,” I demanded, lying back and holding out my arms.
Settling his weight on top of me again, he caressed my cheeks with his thumbs.
Our lips met, gentler this time. Now that we’d had a second to calm down, I was extremely curious about the large bulge in Ezra’s pants. I’d never seen a penis in real life before, and it felt huge.
Breaking the kiss, I asked, “Can I touch you?”
“Um, yeah.” His response had a “duh” tone to it.
“Anywhere?” I trailed a finger down his stomach and traced the waist of his jeans.
He sucked in a breath and nodded. “Anywhere.”
Without hesitation, I popped the button open. Looking down, Ezra watched as I undid the zipper. I had to use both hands to push his boxers down far enough for his cock to spring free.
And when it did, my jaw dropped. Holy shit. It was massive.
“Oh my God,” I exclaimed.
“What?” Ezra glanced up at me, worried.
“You’re seriously packing down here. Who knew Ezra Johnson was hung like a horse?” I quipped playfully, attempting to hide how nervous I was. “If the girls had caught wind of this in high school, I bet they would’ve been nicer to you.”
He started to laugh, but his breath left him in a whoosh when I wrapped my hand around his girth. Giving it a gentle squeeze, I skimmed the velvety skin until I reached the head.
“It’s so soft,” I whispered.
Running my fingertip over the slit at the top, I curiously watched for Ezra’s reactions. His eyes were closed tightly and he was breathing hard, but I didn’t know if that was good or bad.
I had no idea what I was doing.
“How does that feel?”
He made a strangled sound. “If you keep doing that, I’m gonna come.”
Okay, so it was good.
I pumped my hand up and down his length a few times, utterly fascinated by the way his skin glided under my palm. How was it possible for him to be so soft, yet so hard?
Clenching his jaw, his nostrils flared as he sucked in a breath. “I’m serious, Kayla. I’m really close, and it’s gonna get all over you. Have you ever seen a guy come before?”
Biting my lip, I shook my head. I’d read about it in books. I knew what was supposed to happen, but I’d never even watched porn before. Of course I’d been curious, but I was always too afraid my parents would discover it in my internet search history.
I didn’t know what it was about the thought of Ezra coming on me, but I wanted that.
Dragging my shirt up, I bunched it under my bra, offering myself as a target.
His control snapped.
He started thrusting his hips, fucking my hand, and the thought of him moving like that inside me was almost too much to bear.
Something in my stomach swooped. My breath caught in my throat. The pulsing between my thighs intensified.
Burying his face by my neck, Ezra kept pumping his cock in my tight fist. He groaned, his exhale hot against my skin, before lifting his head again to watch me jack him off.
Curious, my other hand went down to cup his ball sac, because that was a part of him I wanted to explore too. I tested its weight in my palm and ran my fingers over the textured skin.
That seemed to push him over the edge.
With a hoarse groan, Ezra’s entire body locked up as white ropes shot from his cock. It happened so suddenly—and forcefully—that I let out a squeak when it hit my skin, and I was surprised by how warm it was.
I refused to blink, because I didn’t want to miss a second of this experience. It seemed to go on forever, his body shuddering with every jet of cum.
“Oh, fuck,” he rasped, his voice strained as the last of it ebbed away. “Kayla.”
The sound of my name on his lips as he came was the sexiest thing ever. Well, the second sexiest thing ever. It was runner up to the sight of his orgasm decorating my skin.
I made him do that. I gave him pleasure he’d never had from anyone else.
Blowing out a breath, I let go of the grip I had on his dick.
Our eyes met at the same time. Ezra’s cheeks were flushed, and we both wore goofy smiles.
He leaned in for a slow kiss, then nuzzled my cheek. “Do you have a towel or something?”
“Umm…” I glanced around. There were no towels, but the T-shirt I’d worn to bed last night would work. Grabbing it from where it was draped over the bedframe, I started clumsily wiping my stomach.
“I’ll do it.” Ezra took it and had me cleaned up in just a few seconds. After tossing the dirty shirt into the hamper, he tugged up his boxers and pants, leaving the jeans undone in the front.
“Efficient,” I observed.
“Just had a lot of practice,” he muttered. Then his cheeks flared bright pink, like he hadn’t meant to give that much information.
I couldn’t help it—I laughed. Hard. He was just so freaking cute when he got all awkward.
“Oh, you think it’s funny, huh?” Ezra began tickling my still-exposed ribs, which only made me giggle more.
“Wait! Stop!” I shouted, out of breath.
Grinning, Ezra leaned up on an elbow.
“It’s your turn.” His voice was husky as he nimbly undid my pants. “Can I?”
I nodded. My stomach quivered when his hand slipped underneath my panties. His touch skimmed over my trimmed patch of hair, and we both moaned when he slid through my wetness.
“Shit, Kayla. You’re soaked,” he said with awe, running back and forth over my seam.
I expected him to be a little clumsy down there; I was prepared to instruct him on how to get me off.
But I didn’t have to.
I gasped when his finger expertly found my clit. I mean, he didn’t even have to search for it—just went straight to my hot spot and started rubbing tight circles right where I wanted it.
Arching and spreading my legs at the same time, I fisted the blanket. “How—how do you know how to touch me? I thought you said you’d never done this.”
His sexy chuckle was right next to my ear. “Google. Do you have any idea how much information on the female anatomy is out there? No way in hell would I come into this completely unprepared.”
I was too turned on to be amused at the fact that I’d just been thinking about how I was too afraid of what my parents would think about dirty internet sites. Obviously, that wasn’t a concern Ezra had.
And thank goodness for that.
“You want me to be honest? I can tell you one thing,” he said quietly, the attention of his fingers briefly dipping down to my slick opening before traveling back up to my clit. “A computer screen doesn’t do the real thing justice. The look on your face. The way you smell. The sounds you make. Making you feel good… there’s nothing like it.”
The sounds I make? I hadn’t even realized I was whimpering. Clamping my bottom lip between my teeth, I concentrated on breathing through my nose as I got closer to the brink.
“No.” With his other hand, Ezra pulled down on my chin until my lip popped out. “Don’t try to be quiet.”
I shot him a worried look. “These walls are surprisingly thin.”
Conflicted, his gaze went to the door as his motions slowed. “Damn, that sucks.”
Swallowing hard, I bit back a groan. His hand was just resting on my hot aching core now. The frustration of being brought to the edge twice without release made me want to scream.
But loud laughter out in the hallway only backed up my statement. Plus, Ashlyn could come through the door any second. God, if she’d walked in a few minutes ago, she would’ve gotten a front-row view of Ezra’s goods. Those were my goods.
We needed privacy for all the things I wanted to do.
I pulled Ezra’s face back to mine.
“Wanna go back to your place?” I whispered against his lips.
His answer was immediate. “Hell yes.”