We got to their place around seven-thirty, and just walking up the stairs, I could already smell the yummy aromas seeping under her door. It was an okay apartment block, not high-class but not an absolute dump like Jason’s. Just regular, every day people struggling with the normal obstacles of life, living paycheck-to-paycheck kind of place.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” I turned, asking Jason, who followed very close behind me. “Just say the word and I’ll turn around.”

“It’s fine. I really like Harper, and it’s not every day I have a real chef cooking for me.” Jason was a bit obsessed with food. Jack was a fabulous chef. He had been one of our clients for ages, and I’d eaten at his restaurant many times. The guy had talent. But Jason’s fascination with food seemed to go a bit deeper. “Your cooking is great, honey. But—I meant…” He unsuccessfully tried backpedaling.

I decided to let him off the hook. “Relax, I get you. Just wanted to give you one more opportunity to back out, that’s all,” I told him. His hand grabbed mine, pulling me back to a stop.

“I’m not backing out of anything here.” He gazed into my eyes, holding onto my shoulder.

I peered up at his handsome face. “Okay,” I said before kissing him lightly on the lips. He in turn drew me in for a deeper kiss. Before I knew it, we were pretty much making out in Harper’s hallway. His hand went right for my ass as I snaked my arms around his broad shoulders, leaning into him tightly.

We went on like this for a while until we heard, “Wow, you guys really are hot and heavy.” I jumped away from Jason, swiveling around to see Riley smirking behind us. She lived in the apartment right across from Harper and was just locking up.

“Oh, sorry. Riley, this is Jason.” I introduced them at the same time, swiping under my lips to get the last vestiges of smeared lipstick off my face. They shook hands, saying their own versions of “Nice to meet you”. “We’re just headed to Harper’s. Have a great evening,” I told her, giving her a quick smile.

She stared down at me—yes, down at me. Riley was tall, and in those fabulous heels, even taller. Her long blonde hair was poker straight tonight. I loved the way it swished when she walked. Her mannerisms were straight out of some high-class finishing school. You’d think she was walking down a runway at fashion week or something. Every move she made was mesmerizing, almost putting you into a trance just watching her.

“What a coincidence. I was just going there myself,” she said, batting her eyelashes at us as she put her keys inside her purse. Oh great. This just turned from a cozy double date to an actual gathering. Harper’s place was tiny. Not as minute as Jason’s, but I still had no idea where we would all sit.

“What’s all the commotion?” an old woman bellowed from farther down the hall. It was Harper and Riley’s neighbor. I’d only met her a couple of times. Roza was a force to be reckoned with. Decades ago, she’d emigrated from Czechoslovakia. Her accent was strong, but her biceps were stronger.

I tried not to panic. “Oh nice, this will be fun,” I said with uncertainty. Riley read me like a book, chuckling.

“Roza, come. It’s time to meet Vivienne’s young man,” Riley signaled to her friend.

“Well, it’s about time,” Roza said, shuffling up to us in her best house slippers. She gazed up at Jason. “Cute, but young. You were right, Riley.”

Grabbing my arm, Riley said, “Don’t worry. We’ll go easy on you.” Then she pulled me the rest of the way to Harper’s door.

Well, this was a freaking disaster. Riley and Roza were not the last of the invited guests. Harper also invited Audrey and Murray. And with them came their two rambunctious five year old twin boys, Nick and Levi. If I had worried about how we’d all fit in the apartment before, now I was downright frightened. Eight adults and two kids in this small apartment likely broke all kinds of code violations.

It was mayhem. The boys were taking turns jumping off any surface they could climb on, which was pretty much everything, and yelling at the top of their lungs while doing so.

Their parents were doing the same. Not the jumping part, but the yelling. If this night didn’t scare Jason off, nothing would. He seemed all right, though. We exchanged covert glances, raising our eyebrows at the twins’ antics. So far, anyway, he hadn’t run screaming from the apartment. Yet.

Supper was fantastic. I had no idea how Jack managed to cook so well in that teeny tiny kitchen. We all ate holding our plates since there wasn’t a huge table for us to sit at like I had at home. Somehow it all worked out. Food was consumed, and drinks were poured. People fended for themselves for the most part, although navigating through the living room-kitchen combo was tricky.

“I need to get from here to there,” I announced loudly. The men moved off the floor accordingly while the kids tried their best to be directly under my feet.

“Nick, move out of the cotton-picking way,” Audrey shouted from the kitchen. There was no need to yell in this small space. Quite honestly, every noise bounced off the walls, making it sound a hundred times louder than it actually was, which made Audrey’s already loud voice eardrum bursting.

Somehow, I made it across the room with little incident, but it was a challenge. I joined Audrey and Harper in the already crowded kitchen—anything more than one person in there made it crowded in her kitchen. “Your new man is hot, girlfriend,” Audrey said, less than quiet. I closed my eyes and prayed that Jason wouldn’t hear, but I knew that prayer would fall on deaf ears.

Mortified, I stood there frozen, unable to think of anything to say for the first time in my life. “Audrey,” Harper loud-whispered, smacking her on the arm, a look of incredulity on her face.

“Oh, whatever. Like he doesn’t know he’s hot. Trust me, hot people know that kind of stuff already. It’s not going to come as some big surprise, like, What? Me?” Her hands dramatically pointed to herself, playing the part. “I’m hot? No way? Yeah, he knows.”

Now we were all embarrassed, with the red cheeks to prove it. Except for Audrey. Not much embarrassed that woman. She spoke the truth, so she figured there was nothing wrong with that. Social graces didn’t seem to be her strong suit.

“Um, you guys might want to tone it down a tad,” Riley hissed, which was probably still too loud seeing as we were all in a room the size of a closet.

“Nobody’s toning down anything tonight. Vivienne’s guy is hot. I can’t comment on it?” Audrey said, possibly even louder than before. We all groaned. Harper was now the color of a ripe tomato. She decidedly grabbed Audrey’s arm, mouthing, “sorry” to me as she dragged her down the hall.

Riley shrugged, putting her arm around me. “You get used it, trust me.” Then we followed the parade to Harper’s room.

As soon as I walked into her bedroom, the door slammed behind me. I half-expected to see a big burly bouncer standing, guarding the door. It was apparent this was to be used as an interrogation room. Riley stood there, arms crossed with a don’t-fuck-with-me look on her face. Yikes. That girl could change her mood on a dime.

A knock at the door startled us. “What am I, chopped liver? You leave me out with the men?”

“Come on in, Roza. Sorry for deserting you,” Harper replied, genuinely regretful.

“Just like back in war, everyone for themselves,” she mumbled, plunking down into the only chair in the room.

Audrey sprawled out on the far side of the bed, and Harper sat on the other. “Sit down and spill, missy,” she said to me. “Harper said you’ve been keeping some secrets from us. You need to come clean about that charming man in the living room.”

I looked back pensively at the door where Riley stood like a linebacker, ready to take me down if I tried anything funny. That woman scared the shit out of me sometimes. She stared me up and down with a sweet grin. “Just get it over with, sweetie. There’s really no getting out of it. Rip off the Band-Aid.” That was her advice. Since I had no other choice, I joined the other two on the bed and began to spill.

I told them all about the night we spent together—how I sent him on his way the next day. By the looks on their faces, I could tell they were a bit surprised I did something like that. Then I expanded a bit regarding the time we spent together after they abandoned us at the tattoo parlor. Lastly, I explained how I’d screwed it all up in one big lie. Audrey yelled at me loud enough for everyone in a three-block radius to hear. “Are you nuts? Why the hell did you do that?” My weak explanation was just that, weak.

They all gasped at the part where Jason came to pick me up, Jared in tow. Well, I should say everyone except Riley gasped. She laughed right the hell out loud and couldn’t stop. I turned around, glaring at her, but she continued, throwing her head back, cutting loose.

Finally, she sat down on the floor in front of the door—I guess I was still considered a flight risk. “Oh, sweetie, you don’t think it’s funny now, but trust me, in time you’ll understand the hilarity of what happened. I mean, what the hell are the chances Jason would be your driver?” Her arms went out in question.

“The girl is right. Someday you’ll look back on that and laugh, but today that shit’s just too darn raw to revisit,” Audrey said, creating a wonderful visual for us.

I was pretty sure there would never be a time when I thought back on the biggest mistake of my life and laughed. But whatever. I was outnumbered so I decided to drop it.

“Don’t build trust with lies. You know who lies? Communists, when they tell you life will be better if they’re in control. That didn’t work out so well either,” Roza said, giving me the stink eye.

“He really likes you. His eyes are constantly on you, wherever you are,” Harper said, quickly changing the subject.

“His eyes are constantly on everyone in this tiny apartment. He can’t help it. When are you going to let your rich ass boyfriend buy you a big house? I’ve seen dollhouses bigger than this,” Audrey complained. Harper smacked her again on the arm.

“This place small? Back in old country, we fit five families in space like this and still have room for more.” Roza added her two cents.

“It’s not that small. You should see Jason’s place. I swear, I can touch both sides of his apartment if I stretch my arms out,” I said, doing just that for effect. “Plus, it’s in one of the worst neighborhoods, sirens going all night long, people clomping around. Nobody in that joint sleeps at night. I’m always scared someone is going to come in and stab us in our sleep.”

“He’s got a limited budget. Who cares? You make good coin where you are. You can be his sugar momma,” Audrey said, howling with laughter, thwacking her hand on the bed.

“Yeah, I get it. I’m older than him. Ha-ha,” I said sarcastically, but started to feel the anger bubbling up.

“The age thing bothers you, does it? Well, get used to it, sweetheart, because you’re always going to be older than him. If you can’t handle it, you should send him on his merry way now instead of later.” Audrey voiced her words of wisdom. I sighed, knowing she was right.

“That’s the weird part. I don’t notice the age difference when we’re together, just when we’re apart. I get a bit self-conscious...”

“When I was girl, we had nice couple. Vaclav and Vaclava.” Roza started in on one of her stories. Riley snorted. Harper gave her wide eyes and threw a pillow. “Vaclav was twenty years younger than Vaclava. Twenty years,” she emphasized with her arms up. “My whole life, happiest people I ever knew.”

“Twenty years is quite a spread,” I said. “Jason is twelve years younger.”

“You in this for the long haul? Or just for a piece of ass?” Audrey asked bluntly.

Harper screamed, “Audrey.” Riley laughed again, enjoying the show. Glad someone was.

“Long haul,” I responded curtly, nearly ready to take on Riley then make a break for it out the door.

“Then you need to grow up and stop caring what other idiots think. Only thing that matters is what you guys feel. Everyone else can fry.” She shared her final words of wisdom with me before sitting up. “Plus, if I hadn’t have met Murray, I’d be all over bein’ a cougar. The young guys check me out everywhere I go. I’m like a magnet,” she said, dramatically rubbing her palms down the sides of her shimmying body.

More than likely those young men were staring at her misbehaving children, not her, but I didn’t want to spoil a mom-fantasy.

Riley finally spoke up, “She’s right about it only mattering to you guys. You’ll catch shit for it, so that part you need to be prepared for. Not just from us, because we love you and want the best for you. I’m talking about from the assholes who don’t understand.”

“Oh, for goodness’ sake, it’s not that much of a difference. Sheesh,” Harper admonished.

“I can handle it,” I said a little too loudly.

“Tell them about the other thing,” Harper said, her eyebrows waggling.

Knowing there was exactly zero chance at getting out of this room without coming clean, I told the women my two month deal with Jason.

“Whoa,” Riley said, slack-jawed, still sitting on the floor.

“You told him that and he stayed? Girlfriend, you are the damn queen,” Audrey exclaimed at the top of her lungs. “No way in the world would Murray have stuck around in the early days if I’d sprung that on him. Uh-uh,” she said, shaking her head.

“Ha, back in old country, you gave it to some boy, didn’t matter how long you know him. Boom,” Roza clapped her hands together, making us all jump, “you were married ten minutes later. Parents took no chances.”

“You got time, woman. I was older than you when I had the boys,” Audrey offered kindly.

“That’s the thing. I’ve got, issues. Getting pregnant isn’t going to be easy for me. If it happens at all,” I informed them, trying not to get to emotional. “I found out last year that I’ve got endometriosis. My tubes don’t look that great. The specialist recommended IVF—in vitro fertilization. But since I’m not officially trying with anyone, I’d like to start with fertility drugs and artificial insemination. You just never know, right?”

“Holy crap.” Audrey’s hand went to her mouth. “You mean to tell me that hot, young stud is going to do the nasty in a cup for you? You truly are the queen,” she hollered again, stunned.

“I don’t exactly know that yet.”

“What don’t you know?” Riley asked, her hands on her knees, legs crossed on the floor in front of her.

“We haven’t exactly discussed whose sperm I’m using.”

“Oh, this just gets better,” Audrey said, slapping her hands on her lap.

“I think it’s okay for them to figure it out when the time comes,” Harper said. Riley giggled at Harper’s choice of words.

“I guarantee that boy will be first in line to make his deposit. Ain’t no man gonna sit by and watch some other dude’s donation goin’ up your hooha. Uh-uh,” Audrey added, shaking her head.

“It’s only been a couple of weeks since we made our deal. I don’t want to rush him.”

“Things have been good, right?” Harper asked quietly, shoving my leg.

The smile that crossed my face was unavoidable. “Things are great.”

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Riley jumped up like a shot outta hell, opening the door.

Jack poked his head in. “Everyone good in here? We’re starved of female attention. Why don’t you ladies come back in and join us?” Jack had a way about him that made you want to do whatever he suggested. I knew this because of our business dealings with each other. Being who I was, it had no effect on me. Well, not much anyway.

Harper was not quite as immune to his charms as I was, so she bolted right up, grinning like a lovesick fool. Damn, I was happy for her.

“Why don’t you buy your girl a big house that can fit all of us in one room without sitting like sardines?” Audrey stood up, giving him attitude. His charms might work on her, but she’d never let him know.

“I’d love to, Audrey. How about you help me convince her?” His head nodded in Harper’s direction.

“You got it. I’ll make it my new purpose in life,” she said to Jack, putting her hands on her hips, turning to Harper. “Girlfriend, we need to talk.”

Harper countered back, looking rather affronted, “This place is not that small. Some people live in cardboard boxes.”

“Yeah, and they have more room to entertain than you do,” Audrey blurted.

“Whatever.” Harper glared at Audrey, then gave Jack the evil eye as she brushed passed him in the doorway. Uh-oh.

Later that evening in bed, Jason asked, “You really want that in your life?”

No idea what he was talking about, I rose up on my arm, off his chest. “Want what?”

“Kids? Those boys tonight were rambunctious to say the least. It took all of us men in the living room to make sure they didn’t break shit or kill themselves.”

He wasn’t trying to be mean. I saw that in his eyes. Still, his words stung. “Not all kids are like that. Audrey got two at once. I’m not going to judge.”

“I was reading, and it said that if you take fertility drugs, your chances of multiples increases. Actually, at your age, more than one baby is a big risk.”

It wasn’t something to smile at. I knew that. The fact he’d been informing himself about this gave me some hope. “I would love to have twins. They’d always have someone around to play with.”

“And to fight with,” he said.

“And to fight with. And to have birthday parties with, have fun with, go on adventures with. Sounds pretty awesome to me.” He stared at me like I’d grown two heads. “I’ve been waiting forever for this. More to love would be a blessing, not a curse. Completely worth the risk to me.”

I lay my head back on his chest. “Have you thought of it any more? If you want to be the donor or not?” No matter how much I wanted to see his face, the possibility of disappointment was too great. Something I wasn’t ready to look head-on into.

“You sure you want me to be the donor?” he asked, nudging my head off his chest.

Two weeks ago, my answer was different. But right now, I knew exactly what to say. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

“You’re crazy, woman. Shut the lamp off. Some of us have to be up early.”

I reached over, snagging the lamp switch.

He was quiet. I could tell from his breathing he wasn’t relaxed enough for sleep yet. We lay there, just holding each other for a while before he sighed. “It’s a big commitment, Vivienne. I still have six weeks.” Ugh, tell me about it. The guillotine of time hung forever over our heads, unwavering, unmoving.

“Just asking,” I said, kissing his chest before I settled in to sleep.

My last thought of the night was always the same—it had been for years. In my mind’s eye, I imagined holding a sweet baby wrapped in a pink blanket. Wriggly fingers and toes, me laughing as she gripped my finger with her itty-bitty fist.