All I did was nod my head and pretend I understood what Gerry and the electrician were talking about. To me, everything they said equaled more and more problems. Which also equaled more and more money.

Story of my life.

After dealing with Gerry and the electrician for what felt like hours, my head throbbed. A familiar stinging sensation started again on my chest. I plodded upstairs for more pain relievers.

Once in my bathroom, I shook out two pills and swallowed, praying they didn’t get stuck. A loud, “Oww,” came out when I ripped off the tape. There really wasn’t a good way to take off a bandage.

After I pulled off the light bandage covering my tattoo, I investigated it more closely. The guy said to keep a close eye on it and make sure it wasn’t getting infected. All’s well, at least I thought it was, so I squirted the special soap I bought from the tattoo artist and began applying it. I gritted my teeth through the biting, stinging pain.

Turning toward the light spilling in through the window, I got a better view of my birds. He really did an exceptional job with my blue jays. The detail on the wings and faces was stunning. They were all flying upward in their own unique way, but also sticking together. A family. My family. Six of us journeying together, flying. Only problem was that right now at least, I was the only one who existed on that tat. No husband, no kids.

I’d always imagined myself with four kids, but as the years passed, it got more and more unlikely that a woman of my age was going to find a husband, let alone make all those babies with him.

And now I had a daily reminder of my failings staring me in the face. What was I thinking? I was thinking it would be the perfect tattoo for me. Granny always said I had the protective nature of a momma blue jay and I could talk anyone around to my way of thinking before I even said my first word. She said it was just my way. My gift.

That’s likely why I’d always had an affinity to jays. Plus, they did seem to pop up in my life when least expected, like when I was looking at this house. I loved its character when my agent walked me through it, but the amount of work that needed to be done was daunting. It really turned me off, and I was ready to ditch it for a new build in a subdivision far out of town.

Honestly, the commute didn’t turn me on, but a pristine, modern home would not come with the built-in headaches this one did. I didn’t think I’d have the strength of body and mind to deal with this all alone.

Then they showed up. We were checking out the backyard when two blue jays flew out of the pine tree beside the beat-up garage. They flew right in front of me, forcing me to take a step back. A male and a female landed in some dead grass, picked what they wanted, and then flew back to the tree.

Another reason I loved jays was that the mothers got to be as pretty as the fathers. The animal kingdom could be rather unfair to the female species in that respect. But the only real difference I perceived between male and female jays was their size—males were a bit larger.

“Bloody birds! That ugly tree has to go anyway, and it looks like that’s where they’re nesting, so you won’t have to worry about them,” the agent said in his grumpy voice while scowling at the tree. I walked over to the tree to investigate, and the birds immediately protested, trying their level best to sound like crows to scare me away.

That’s when I knew this was the place.

My agent was a decent guy and he tried many times to talk me out of buying this money pit because, “This is a lot of work for a pretty, single woman like you”. He didn’t know me, but it was mighty nice of him to warn me. Despite the fact he would not have taken that same time to say a word had I been a man.

The fact that he didn’t believe a woman was capable of doing the work pissed me off. I’d learned when it was worth a fight and when it wasn’t.

This wasn’t. I’d chosen this house—or it had chosen me—and it was time to make a plan and get on with restoring it to its former majestic self. Once I made a decision, very little could talk me out of it. Thus began my nosedive into home repair. The renovations were nearing an end, but filling it up with a family was at a standstill. My dating life was a mess, as usual. I didn’t know why, but after dating someone for a while, he would eventually fall short of my expectations and I’d inevitably dump him.

Yes, it was a pattern and I recognized it, but I just didn’t care because no way in hell was I settling for something dull. Boring. I’d rather live in this house alone than settle for someone who didn’t excite me and challenge me.

I’d need cats. Lots and lots of cats to keep me company. And let’s face it, they would probably be more entertaining than most of my exes. Eventually, I’d also need the number of a good tattoo removal place, but at the moment, I found my birds oddly comforting. Like my family was already here in some way, waiting for all the stars to align.

“Vivienne,” a voice called to me from downstairs. I quickly re-bandaged my birds and hurried downstairs to the kitchen.

“Everything okay?” I asked, out of breath.

“For now. Just wanted to let you know we are taking off.”

A relieved sigh burst out. “Thanks, Gerry.” A box of macaroons called to me from the counter. I opened it, offering some to Gerry.

He shook his head. “Nah, thanks, though. Where’s your young friend?” he asked. Hmm. Whether he meant it or not, his comment about my young friend hit me right in the stomach. I decided to take my feelings out on the macaroon instead of Gerry.

“He had to go,” I replied, not feeling much like offering another explanation. Over the months, Gerry had become more than a contractor. We were friends. However, right now I didn’t want to discuss Jason with him.

Blunt as ever, he said, “A little young for you, no? I didn’t take you for the cougar type.” His words took my breath away. The cookie suddenly became hard to swallow. Much like his words.

“Excuse me?” I said while I frowned at the boldness of his statement.

“Look, I didn’t mean that how it sounded,” he said with regret. “But, I know guys like that.” His eyes held mine as he folded his arms.

“Guys like what?” I questioned, eyes squinting, knowing full well I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. Morbid curiosity be damned.

Gerry shifted his feet, looking at the floor. “Guys who take advantage of older, successful women like yourself.” What was initially just a stab of pain quickly turned into a deep laceration.

I gave him a fake smile and answered, “Thanks for your concern, but he’s just a friend.”

Gerry threw his head back, laughing. “Not from where I stood, my dear. That boy looked at you the same way you’re looking at those macaroons.” He pointed at my box of macaroons, chuckling again. His face changed back to serious. Clearing his throat, he said, “I’ve seen this kind of thing a thousand times.” He nodded toward me. “Young men looking for an easy way out. Someone to take care of them so they don’t gotta work.”

“Jason has a job,” I blurted out. Well, he kind of did. Although, I wasn’t sure how much he actually made, it likely couldn’t be much.

“Yeah, for now. But as soon as he’s got his hooks into you, trust me, the guy will quit. I don’t wanna be mean, but guys like that are a dime a dozen. The last thing I want is for you to get hurt.” Too late. Gerry’s words, whether they had a modicum of truth behind them or not, stung like hell. The doubts that I had about Jason’s age boiled up to the surface and now I felt a bit queasy.

“I’ll keep that in mind, thanks. But really, he’s just a friend.”

Gerry tilted his head, pausing for a few seconds before he turned to leave.

Stuffing another macaroon into my mouth, I tried my best not to think about how much older I was than Jason. Stop. Thinking. About. His. Age. I honestly didn’t think it was that obvious, but both Gerry and the fast food counter attendant seemed to think it was.

My phone bleeped and made me jump.

Jason: Your guests gone yet?

Me: Not exactly guests, but yeah, everyone left.

My heart beat faster, and it wasn’t just from the massive amount of sugar I ate.

Jason: Meet me out front. Put on a jacket. It’s chilly.