Chapter Twenty-Six
Penny
I awoke the next morning to a text from Darren.
Hey girl, he said. I’m proud of you
Proud of me? What did I do? I replied.
You did some amazing things yesterday, things I bet even you weren’t expecting
I guess that’s true, I typed back. I jumped into the filthy lake water even though Dickie said I would probably be eaten, and I caught my first-ever fish! It wasn’t a big fish, but it was a fish and I caught it.
You did catch it, he said with a smile emoji.
Yeah… I said doubtfully. I wish there was some way we could actually celebrate.
We can, you know, he replied.
How?
You could come over and have breakfast with me. I’m gonna be making omelets with onions, artichokes, and sun-dried tomatoes, and maybe fry up some bacon and sausage. Doesn’t that sound good? Doesn’t it sound… dare I say…delicious?
That does sound good, and delicious, I said. And this time I won’t even invite Nic.
There was a brief pause, at the end of which he said, You could if you wanted.
Grinning to myself, I texted back, Don’t lie. You know she makes you feel uncomfortable. I can see you bristling whenever she talks about hating boys.
At the end of an even longer pause, Darren replied, I guess I can’t keep anything from you, babe. I don’t *hate* her, there’s just some things that annoy me. Anyone who would jump in a filthy lake in their underwear can’t be all bad.
I sent him a blushing emoji and added, How ‘bout we talk about it over breakfast? How soon do you want me over there?
Hmmm, give me about 45 mins?
Deal, I wrote back. See you then.
I threw on a pair of blue jeans, a white shirt and a red flannel over-shirt, and was still brushing my hair when Dad came into the room. I glanced up in surprise when I saw him. His eyes were red and puffy, and it looked like he had been crying.
“Are you okay?” I asked. “How did you sleep last night?”
He walked over to the window, where a pale sun shone weakly out of a white sky. “Not particularly well. I had a pain in my side that kept me tossing and turning for most of the night. Nothing you really need to worry about.”
“If you say so…” I said skeptically. “I hope you’ll let me know if it’s anything worse than that. If you want, when I get home tonight, I’ll sit up and read with you until you fall asleep.” When he started his radiation treatment I would read to him every night from Anne of Green Gables before bed, but lately there had been too much else going on.
“I think I would like that,” he said with a smile. “We were almost done with the first Anne book.”
“We were. Josie Pye was being obnoxious, as always.”
“Remember when you were growing up I always told you to be an Anne and not a Josie Pye.”
“I do remember that. It’s a lesson I took to heart.”
Dad came over and tousled my newly combed hair with an affectionate grin. “Where are you headed?”
“Darren invited me over for breakfast,” I said with an embarrassed sigh. “You don’t mind if I go out for the day, do you?”
He shook his head. “Don’t let the ailments of an old man keep you from going out and enjoying yourself. How are you and Darren doing, anyway?”
“Pretty good…” Dad raised his brow at the note of hesitation in my voice. “We had a fine time yesterday up at Brazos Bend State Park. Him and Nic don’t exactly get along, but I think they’ve made their peace with each other.”
“It sounds like you’re having second thoughts about the relationship.”
Dad had a way of voicing my own thoughts back to me, and I hated it. I sat back down on the bed, a sharp feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. “I just worry sometimes that maybe I’m not good enough. What if there’s some other girl out there who’s better for Darren than I am, and he ends up stuck with me? What if I’m just a needy woman who latches onto the boys who are nice to her, regardless of whether we’re good for each other?”
“Well, I think it’s good that you’re asking these questions now instead of waiting until you’re married,” said Dad. “But you have to get over this notion that there’s some perfect person out there for the both of you. I don’t want you to spend your whole life looking for that person and never being really happy.”
“I’m the sort of person who could so easily do that,” I said miserably. “I have such high expectations for romance and a husband.”
“You do. You always have. When you were little, you used to borrow your mom’s veil and arrange fake weddings with all your stuffed animals. I think for a while all you wanted out of life was to get married and have a family. It’s been a long time since you’ve really talked about it, but I know it’s a dream that is still dear to your heart.”
“I had to give up the dream because the boys were in no hurry to marry me. Growing up I made a vow to myself that I would be married by the time I was twenty-one. But twenty-one came and went, and I was no more married than before. And Darren’s really the first boy who’s shown any interest in me since high school. I almost wonder if that’s why I’m so attached to him—because there’s no one else and I’m desperate.”
“Well, if it’s any comfort,” Dad said, coming over and resting his hands on my shoulders, “I really like the guy. I don’t know him very well, but I liked him when I met him and I like what you’ve told me about him. He’s decent and kind and responsible, and he takes good care of you.”
“He does,” I said quietly. “I don’t understand why he sticks by me when I’m such an emotional train wreck, but I have no doubt that he loves me.”
“Well, you’re quite lovable,” Dad replied, and pulled me into a hug. “I hope someday you realize that.”
***
But the general sense of panic I had been carrying around all morning proved unwarranted. I found Darren standing at the stove wearing a floral-patterned apron and frying sausage links. He turned and smiled at me without a trace of embarrassment. “I can’t promise this will be as good as Waffle House, but I think you’ll like it.”
“I have a feeling I’ll enjoy it quite a bit better than Waffle House,” I replied, coming up from behind him and squeezing him around the waist. “You have no idea how many times I’ve eaten there in the past couple weeks.”
“I’ve got a pretty good idea. Every time I get into your car, I see the bags in the floorboard.”
I grimaced and made a mental note to clean my car out. “Nic is always insisting that we go there. I sometimes think Waffle House pays her to nudge me in their direction whenever we’re trying to figure out where we want to eat.”
“It could happen.”
“At least I can trust you, I think.” I brushed my lips against his shoulder. “You’ve never tried to talk me into eating at Chipotle five days in a row.”
“Maybe I’m just better at my job than Nic is,” said Darren. “She never makes you breakfast, which is very suspicious.” He flipped over the sausages with his spatula. “Almost like she wants you to eat out.”
“That’s because you can actually cook, unlike me or Nic. I’ve never been particularly good at it, which is embarrassing because I want to cook for my family someday. The only two meals I can make with any consistency are spaghetti and macaroni.”
“Yeah, I’ve seen you make macaroni,” Darren said with a grin. I had recently posted some cooking videos on Facebook, which mostly consisted of me dancing around the kitchen and singing while Lady Gaga played in the background and a pot boiled on the stove.
“I’m really proud of my macaroni-making technique,” I replied with just a hint of embarrassment. “You get the macaroni boiling, add some butter, turn on the music as loud as you can without waking your dad…”
“Mmmm, you’ll have to show me sometime.” Still smiling, he turned and wrapped his arms around me. I loved the feel of his breath on my hair and the way I slotted perfectly under his chin. I pressed myself close to his heart, and an electric warmth radiated between us.
“You never answered my question, though,” I added after a brief silence. “How did you get so good at cooking?”
“Most of what I know I learned from my mom.” We broke apart, and he reached for the spatula. “For as long as I can remember, she’s been cooking at a professional level. She was thinking about going to culinary school before she met my dad.”
“She still could’ve gone,” I said. “Why didn’t she go?”
“Well, not too long after they were married, she found out she was pregnant with Curtis. It was one of those things where she kept telling herself she would go back to school when the boy was old enough, but then she had another son, and another…”
“And not a single girl in the bunch.” I shook my head. “I wonder what a Savery girl would have been like.”
“We’ll never know now.” He began removing the links from the skillet and setting them down in a pile on top of a grease-soaked paper towel. “One thing I’ve always wondered about your dad: how did he end up going from being a high school teacher to running an auto parts store?”
“Well, he’s always been interested in cars,” I explained, “which is probably where I get it. Back when he first started teaching, he was working two jobs to support us. On the weekends, he worked part-time as a used car salesman. Of course, managing an auto parts store doesn’t bring in significantly more money than teaching, and I think he knew that. But after doing it for twenty-five years, I think he was just tired and wanted to try something different. He’s like me in that respect, or I’m like him.”
“How so?”
“Just always wanting to try new things,” I said with a shrug. “Wanting to challenge myself. Not wanting to repeat myself or coast on my past success. I’ve always been the sort of woman who gets tired of doing the same old things very quickly.”
Darren smiled and slid his hands around my waist. “Well,” he said in a low voice, “I hope you don’t get tired of me.”
“Never,” I whispered and tilted my head to receive his kiss.
He kissed me passionately, first on the lips and then all along the side of my neck. Although I was tense and hesitant at first, my resolve melted away in an instant. I could sense how close we were to the edge, and as he nibbled at my collarbone, I caught a glimpse of the food cooling on the kitchen counter. We’re really going to do this. We’re going to have sex before we’ve even had breakfast.
It was an alarming thought, not least because of how much I wanted it and how ashamed of myself I felt for wanting it.
He slid his hands under my shirt and around my tummy, slowly advancing upward. Shutting my eyes, I could feel him groping his way toward my white bra with the padded cups that he had so carefully unhooked the week before. He might have gotten it all the way off again if we hadn’t been suddenly interrupted by the buzzing of my phone on the table.
We waited, thinking it would stop after a minute or two, but it kept going.
“You want me to put it on silent?” he asked in a tone of irritation.
“Wait, it could be my dad calling.” I broke away and ran to pick it up. It was Margo.
“Hey, Margo, what’s up?”
The level of urgency in her voice was jolting. “Penny, hey. I need you to listen carefully. Your dad’s been in an accident.”
“An accident? What do you mean? He hasn’t left the house.” It was hard to conceal the panicky tone in my voice.
“I came in about an hour ago and found him in the kitchen, passed out. He had fallen and hit the back of his head on the edge of the dishwasher. I brought him to Medical City downtown, where he’s currently resting.”
I forced myself to ask the question, “How bad is it?”
“I don’t know where you are right now,” said Margo, “but the sooner you can get here, the better.” She hung up.
I re-buttoned the top button of my flannel shirt and turned to face Darren, who looked grave and disappointed. “I’m sorry I can’t stay for breakfast. There’s been a medical emergency.”
“Do you need me to drive you somewhere?”
“It’s kind of you to offer, but I think I can handle it. I’ll see you later.” Without once looking him in the eyes, I grabbed my purse off the back of the chair, and left the house.