Chapter Twenty-Five
Darren
I could never quite put my finger on why, but for some reason, Nic always irritated me. Maybe because of the way she treated Penny, like she was a child who needed her guidance. She was snobbish and condescending, and she never hesitated to make fun of Penny to her face.
“I can’t believe no one ever asks you for your ID when we come here,” Nic said on the night we went to a club. “You’d think the bouncers would be interested in the fact that a twelve-year-old is trying to sneak in.”
“It’s not sneaking if I do it out in the open,” said Penny. “And I’m not twelve; I’m considerably older than that.”
“No one would know that just by looking at you, hon,” Nic replied. She smirked at me as though expecting me to laugh, but I just shook my head in annoyance.
Wanting to defend my girlfriend, I said, “I think if you look hard enough, you can sort of tell that she’s in her twenties. When she wears her glasses, she looks about ten years older.”
“I guess,” Nic muttered under her breath. “Just don’t let them see your coloring books.”
She had intended it as a joke between me and her, but it fell flat when I didn’t laugh. She was always joking with other people about how dumb or naïve or childish Penny was. Sometimes she even did it in front of Penny, trusting that the joke would go over her head. I suspected that it hurt Penny more than she let on. But she was Penny’s best friend, so I hadn’t made a huge deal out of it.
“If you dislike her that much, then maybe you shouldn’t have invited her in the first place,” said Dickie as we waited in the garage the next morning. The sky over us was gray and overcast.
“Perhaps not, but it was important to Penny that she get to come. She gets shy around those she doesn’t know very well, and it helps to have her best friend there for support. When they’re together, she opens up more.”
“Do you think we could get her to drink?”
“Doubtful. Penny isn’t much of a drinker.”
“Too bad. I think it would be fun to get her drunk.”
“Yeah, but she already acts drunk most of the time,” I pointed out. “If we managed to put a couple glasses of whiskey in her belly, she would probably calm down and become the most normal person.”
Just then there was a screech of tires, and the two girls pulled up in Nic’s red convertible. Nic was wearing chic sunglasses and a dark blue tank top while Penny wore a light blue “Little Miss Sunshine” t-shirt, still combing her hair.
“Hey boys,” said Nic. “You ready for this?”
“Did you bring your fishing rods?” asked Dickie. “There’s not gonna be a whole lot for you to do out there if you forgot those.”
“They’re in the back.” She pointed lazily toward the trunk. “I tried to talk Penny into running by the store and picking up a few containers of light beer, but she wasn’t having it.”
“Light beer is gross,” said Penny. “I would rather sit there and drink something that’s actually delicious, like mango juice or normal beer.”
“Well, not to worry,” said Dickie. “We’ve got a whole cooler of drinks in the back of the pickup.”
“Did you bring mango juice?”
“I did not bring mango juice,” he said with a shake of his head, “but there’s light beer, regular beer, and some lemon-lime sports drink.”
“Penny, if you drink all the beers by yourself, I will give you ten dollars,” said Nic.
Penny shook her head resolutely. “You’d have to give me at least five hundred if you want me to drink all of them. And an additional fifty for each light beer, because those are gross.”
We spent most of the ride up to the lake trying to get Penny to drink and speculating on how she would act if she did. “I just don’t see the point in putting something into my body that’s going to impair my judgment,” she said as we pulled up to the dock and climbed out. “Especially if there are boys around,\ because you can’t trust most boys.”
“Hey now, that’s a little unfair to us,” I said, motioning to me and Dickie. “We wouldn’t try to pull anything if you were drunk.”
“We might throw you into the water,” said Dickie.
“Or just nudge you overboard a little.”
“Or leave you alone in the boat in the middle of the lake and tell you to find your own way back to shore. But we wouldn’t, like, hurt you.”
“See, this is why I don’t trust men,” said Nic loudly, walking up the dock with her fishing rod slung over her shoulder. “Anytime there is an opportunity for mischief, they will take it.”
“We ought to ban men,” said Penny.
“But then who would you go fishing with?” I asked.
“Nic and I could go fishing our own selves.”
“How would the human race survive?” asked Dickie.
“Oh, I’m not saying we need to ban all men,” said Nic, casting her line out into the murky waters. “Just the majority. Anyone who reads books, listens to Sufjan, and can quote at least one poem from memory gets to stay. The rest have to go live on an island.”
“I think I could live with that,” said Penny with a dreamy look. “Get rid of all but the poets.”
“Lord, I’m glad y’all aren’t in charge of things,” I said. “I don’t think I can quote a single poem from memory.”
“Well, off to Bad Men Island with you,” said Nic, waving her hand regally.
It was hard to tell the extent to which they were joking. I had a feeling Nic was being half-serious, and it annoyed me because I had never cared much for women who wanted to banish all men. Whenever they were together, Penny seemed to grow more combative and man-hating, and it was hard for me to tell whether this was her true self or just a pose she adopted when she was hanging out with her best friend.
“Hey,” said Penny, dipping a toe in the water, “do you think this lake is safe to swim in? I kind of wish I had brought my swimsuit.”
“I wouldn’t risk it, personally,” said Dickie. “There are no alligators that I know of, but you never know. I wouldn’t want you to jump in and get eaten, just because I said there were no alligators.”
“I think we should do it,” said Nic, her eyes bright with mischief. “Penny, what say you?”
I really didn’t think Penny would go for it, but to my surprise, she said, “I’ve always wanted to see a gator up close. Maybe he’ll let us ride on his back.”
“Girls, that water is so filthy,” said Dickie, “I really wouldn’t—”
But no one was listening. Nic was already standing up and tearing her clothes off. I watched with a feeling of shock and delight as she stripped down to her underwear, revealing her remarkably lithe body.
I thought maybe Penny would follow suit, but I should’ve known better: she would never have exposed herself even partially in front of Dickie.
“What’s that song we used to sing in church camp?” asked Nic. “‘I’m diving in, I’m going deep…’”
“Come on, let’s go!” cried Penny, and grabbing her by the hand, she leaped in, pulling her down into the dark water.