That was a nice distraction, Jim thought, as he lay on his back with Susan curled against his side, her head tucked in the crook of his shoulder. She’d been wild and ready, and she’d blown him until he had to turn her on her stomach and bury her face in the pillow to keep her from finishing him that way. He needed to be inside her, especially since he had no idea how she would react to the news he had to share.
“Are you awake?” Susan’s voice was quiet and sleepy. From her even, shallow breathing, Jim was surprised she was awake.
“Yep,” he answered, tucking his free arm behind his head, as he stared at the ceiling, wishing right now that he had a ceiling fan to dry the sweat coating his body. “Why?”
“Are you going to be here tomorrow when we transport my father?” She yawned, and it brought a smile to his face. Jim loved that he could satisfy her into a virtual trance.
He hesitated. “I’ll be here until around three or so, yes.” He felt her relaxed body stiffen, and Jim knew it was time to have the difficult conversation.
Slowly, she sat up beside him and stared down into his eyes in the darkness. Her hair was mussed, and even in the lack of light, he could see the rose of her flushed cheeks and the dark circles at the peaks of her breasts. He reached up and toyed with one nipple, and she hissed in a breath but pulled back. “Where are you going after that?”
“I have some club business to take care of, and I’ll be out of town for a day or two,” he told her. After the feebs had left, the club had sat down to vote and decided they needed to find a new storage facility. There wasn’t much they could do on short notice, so a couple of his guys had suggested that they use a family member’s barn outside of Spokane as a temporary solution.
Jim had volunteered to lead the trip, which would take about seven hours, considering that the mountain pass would probably be difficult to drive after the storm that had blown through last week. He also had to count the time it would take to securely load the paper and printed money, as well as time to stop for fuel and to get everything unloaded across the state. They were going to leave at dark and return in the dark. It was the safest way to avoid notice by the FBI and their enemies.
“Club business. That’s all you’re going to say?” She was irritated, and Jim groaned internally. “I don’t want all the details, and I don’t want to know about things that could be construed as illegal. What I do want to know is if there’s danger involved.”
Jim scowled. “Susan, you realize that your job is dangerous, right? You could pull that bus over and go to help someone who pulls out a gun to shoot you. Or you could get run off the road. Or get a guy on PCP in the back of the ambulance who breaks out of restraints and beats you. Why is it any different?” He needed her to understand and stop giving him hell. He knew he didn’t deserve Susan; but, if she continued to be so anxious about things, he’d have to let her go. He wouldn’t be the reason that Susan died, as he was with Trina. He couldn’t lose someone else like that. He would rather walk away and be alone.
“I get that, Jim, and I’m not telling you not to go. But I’d like to know if there’s a chance I’ll get a phone call telling me that you’re in the hospital with multiple gunshot wounds. Or worse, behind bars because you shot someone.”
He couldn’t help but chuckle. “So, me being locked up rates as more unbearable than me dying in a hospital bed. Have I told you how much I love your logic?”
She smacked his arm. “You know what I mean, Jim. Stop playing games and give me an answer.”
He rubbed his face. “I’m just transporting stuff with my boys. There shouldn’t be anyone on our trail, and we’re not doing anything particularly dangerous.” He didn’t mention the visit by federal agents to the clubhouse being the catalyst to the trip. After all, Susan specifically said she wanted to know nothing about the legality of the matter, or the lack thereof.
Her shoulders slumped. “Okay, if you think it’s relatively safe, I won’t sit here and fret and twiddle my thumbs while you’re gone.”
That was good to hear, but Jim couldn’t leave it alone. “Susan, I love you, and I want you. However, if you really feel you’re not cut out for my lifestyle and can’t handle the way that I live, I understand, and I won’t be angry if you want to leave.”
Her eyes shot daggers, burning him like beams of light that brightened the room. “Jim Wade, I know what you’re thinking. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but your wife, may she rest in peace, was weak. She had a weak character. Can’t you see that I’m too strong to succumb to the behavior that caused her death? If I ever felt like you and your wild ways were too much for me to handle, I’d start with counseling, and if there was no choice, I’d leave. But hear me now. Don’t ever pull away because you’re afraid I’ll be a repeat of your past.”
Jim stared at her, long and hard, thinking that she was right. She wasn’t anything like Trina. The only thing they had in common were the gentle, compassionate touches, and perhaps the fact that they loved him enough to forgive him his hard life. But that’s where it ended. While Trina forgave him for it, she couldn’t cope with it. Yet, here Susan was, having nearly ended it when he was behind bars, after pulling back when he had been on the road and not answered her calls, and she was still naked and caring, like a goddess drenched in moonlight.
And that description made him think harder. Even Trina hadn’t provoked poetic thoughts and comparisons like Susan did. He let his eyes caress her, and he stroked the top of her thigh with the back of his hand. “Why do you care about me so much, Susan? You wanted nothing to do with me the night we met. What changed your mind?”
Her expression was full of something light that filled Jim with hope for the future. “I let go of my preconceived notions and took a chance on the glimpse of what you were inside. I found a good man with a big heart that betrayed the hard, unforgiving exterior. And the more of that I saw, the more I knew I loved you, regardless of the image you portrayed.”
He was so overwhelmed with emotion at her sincere and vulnerable explanation that Jim couldn’t stand it. Quirking a lopsided grin, he quipped, “So, it had nothing to do with my muscles and my handsome mug?”
She rolled her eyes and leaned down to kiss him. “It might have had a little to do with those incredible eyes of yours that are like tunnels straight into your soul, and maybe those hands of yours because they drive me mad.”
He chuckled, grabbing her waist and pulling her to lie on top of him. “I guess we have that in common then—although your talented lips shouldn’t be left out of that thank you speech.” To punctuate that statement, he kissed her, long and hard, and the only reason he didn’t drill her again was that he knew they only had a few short hours before they had to be at the hospital to bring her father home.