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Let Me Love You by Jessica Jayne (1)

Chapter One

Ren Haynes unlatched the white vinyl gate to his neighbor’s back yard and strolled through the opening. The latch clicked closed behind him. The grass, a brownish-green and thirsty for the start of the summer rains, crunched under his step. Adrenaline coursed through him, making him edgy like he’d been before a rival-team battle on the football field. His fingertips tingled and his quadriceps twitched with the need to run. Being near Stacey Williams again did this to him. He wanted to see her, needed to—almost as essential as breathing.

An hour ago, she’d been watering the front landscape. A Bird of Paradise bush bloomed with white buds, surrounded by lavender Muhly Grass and Plumbago bushes popping with periwinkle flowers. Wearing cut-off jean shorts and a red and white striped tank top, the strings of her crimson bikini played peek-a-boo at the neck of her shirt while she’d sprayed the foliage with the hose. He assumed she planned to lounge by the pool. Fine by him. The day scorched, an unseasonably hot Saturday at the end of May. And nothing better than Stacey in a bikini. Her Marilyn Monroe centerfold pin-up body had feminine curves in all the right places.

He walked around the corner of the gray stucco ranch-style house and stopped.

Holy!

She lay on a tan and white weaved chaise lounge a few feet from the kidney-shaped in-ground pool. Sun-kissed golden skin enhanced the sensuous curves of her body. Chestnut-hair bunched in a knot on the top of her head exposed the long column of her smooth neck that beaded with perspiration from the humid Florida air. Long, dark lashes shadowed against high cheek bones, made her appear asleep.

Gentle movements rippled through her chest with each breath, drawing his attention to her tits. Her breasts filled the cups of the bikini perfectly, leaving something to the imagination. And his imagination ran wild. Blood rushed lower in her presence, settling in his groin. God, he wanted her.

During college, he’d enjoyed the ladies. But many women his age were warped by insecurities. He never understood the anxieties that plagued women. They came in all shapes and sizes—each unique and intriguing.

Stacey seemed far less insecure, perhaps because she had seven or eight years on those college girls. Comfortable in her skin, in who she was. She lay in a bikini, displaying the curve of her belly and hips. Most of the women he’d been with would cover themselves in a towel or t-shirt if their bellies were anything other than perfectly flat, embarrassed by their womanly figure.

Not Stacey.

Ren’s mother once said women didn’t come into their own until they hit thirty. Clearly, Stacey proved that to be true at thirty-one. Her confidence made her more attractive and appealing.

“Jesus Christ,” she yelped, bringing him out of a lust-filled haze.

Ren shook his head, trying desperately to erase the mental images of her naked, and him between her thighs. He feared his expression would give him away, but she was too consumed with grabbing the purple towel draped over the wooden Adirondack chair next to her to recognize the hunger flashing in his eyes.

“You scared the shit out of me, Ren!”

“Sorry.” He walked over. “I didn’t mean to scare you. Got home from Gainesville late last night and wanted to swing by and say, hey. See how you’re doing. If you needed any help with the yard or around the house this summer.”

Shut up! He sounded like a bumbling idiot. Part of the effect she had on him—that and a constant boner. He stood at the end of the chaise lounge, his form casting a shadow over her.

Even though she looked fantastic, her divorce from Randy had taken its toll. Hints of darkness hovered below her eyes. Her face appeared leaner than when he’d seen her a few months back. The sparkle in her blue eyes was slightly dimmer.

He hated seeing her hurt. Hated that her heart had been broken. But his self-seeking side was elated she was free. Free of the asshole who cheated on her and left her for another woman.

Free to be his if he had anything to say.

One day, Randy would regret how he’d treated her, but Ren planned to fill his spot before then.

The girls he’d been with were nothing more than a lay. That sounded harsh. But he’d never disrespected them. His father taught him to respect women. He had been upfront about not wanting anything serious, anything more than a physical encounter.

Stacey made him want to drop to his knees and worship the ground she walked on. She stirred things he’d never felt with another woman—a blinding lust, yes—but also a desire to protect and cherish. Warmed his otherwise distant heart.

“It’s okay.” She sat up in the chair. Tucking the towel around her waist, she covered her lower body as if she sat in her panties. He chuckled internally, thankful as well, because her breasts looked spectacular in her bikini top. “I wasn’t expecting to see anyone standing in the yard when I opened my eyes. Why didn’t you say something?” 

“I was going to, but then I thought you might be sleeping. You looked peaceful and I didn’t want to disturb you.” Striding the few short steps to the Adirondack chair, he sat beside her.

“So, instead you decided to stand and stare, waiting to scare the life out of me?”

“I’m sorry.” He ran his fingers through his hair before looking at her again. He felt like a pre-teen with his first woody and not entirely sure what to do. With other women, his confidence never waned.

“I hadn’t planned on scaring you.” He shrugged, then twisted his lips into a small smile.

“It’s okay. My heart rate has returned to normal…I think.” She smirked and placed a hand over her heart.

Ren looked around. Pink flowered ground-cover concealed the dirt around two jasmine bushes and bamboo bunched in the back corners of the yard. A tall Majestic palm rounded out the new additions.

He’d worked as her right-hand last summer and recognized the changes.

“The yard looks amazing.”

“Thanks.” She tilted her head. Her warm smile demonstrated her pleasure in noticing the changes. “Went with a more ‘Florida-friendly’ landscape.” She curled her fingers in air quotes. “Less maintenance. I don’t think you and I will be planting zinnia every two weeks this summer.”

Though the smile sat on her lips, the emotion didn’t quite reach her eyes.

Ren clenched his jaw. Her ex-husband had been why they’d busted their asses last summer replanting flowery plants that dried out in the hot Florida summer sun despite the twice a day watering. Randy insisted on annuals—marigolds, dahlias, and zinnia—claiming they reminded him of summers in Virginia. He didn’t care how much work such a landscape would require in the Florida heat. And he’d never once offered to help them plant a thing.

Randy never deserved her.

Ren forced himself to calm. “Well, it looks great!”

The lines cupping her forced smile relaxed. Small fists unclenched at her sides. Little wisps of dark hair escaped the knot on her head and blew free in the gentle, warm breeze.

She appeared tiny sitting in the oversized chaise.

The desire to wrap his arms around her overwhelmed him. His muscles twitched in efforts of restraint. He wanted to reassure her everything would be okay. He was here now, ready, willing, and able to love her.

“How was your last semester at UF?” She switched the subject, asking about the University of Florida, voice pitched high with enthusiasm. Her blue eyes sparkled.

His gaze dropped to her luscious mouth, full and pouty, and smiling at him. He’d had multiple fantasies involving her mouth, lips, and tongue, but being this close, hoping that he had a chance to turn those fantasies into reality, roused him. His blood pumped. Beads of sweat pebbled the back of his neck. Sure, it could be the heat, but he knew better.

“It was good. I did well, considering.” He attempted to focus on the conversation.

She giggled, a soft bubbly song on the breeze. The sound caused his cock to stir.

Everything in him reacted to her. He didn’t want her looking at him like some sort of horny college kid with a hard-on. He wanted her to see him as a man. Not just any man, but one with a college degree—two to be exact, a career, a future—a man who could make her happy. A man she’d consider making a life with.

“You only get this chapter in your life once. Where you’re young with little responsibility. Of course, you needed to do well in school, but it is okay to have enjoyed the experience.” 

“I enjoyed the experience.” He grinned like the Cheshire Cat. “Maybe a little too much.”

“Was it the alcohol or the ladies you enjoyed too much?” The edges of her mouth curved. He’d give his left nut for this woman’s smile on a regular basis.

“A little of both.” Sitting back, he crossed his ankle over the opposite knee. He’d always been comfortable talking to Stacey, who listened without judgment and offered great advice. Helped him through a few dramatic high school and college dating situations by giving him an outlet to vent on the expectations of girls and explaining the female perspective to him, which he still struggled to understand. But what man didn’t, right?

“Good for you. But don’t tell your mom I said that. She’d kill me if she thought I had encouraged you to do anything but study.” Stacey laughed, which made him laugh, too, because Mom believed his entire focus should have been hitting the books. Thank God Dad had pressured her to understand that fun could be successfully woven into the college experience.

“How is your mom, by the way?” Stacey brushed a few wisps of hair out of her face, some sticking to the damp skin on her neck. “I saw her right after the shoulder surgery, but haven’t had a chance to chat with her in a couple of weeks.”

“Doing well. Following the orders of the physical therapist. Has most of her range of motion back, but still has to wear the sling for a few more weeks.” He chuckled. “She hates having any sort of physical restrictions.”

“Your mom’s active. I’m sure it’s hard to be immobilized in any way.”

“I’m staying with them for the next two weeks to help out. One of the dentists from Dad’s office left the practice, so he’s been working longer hours covering patients until the new one starts. Then, I’m moving in with my buddy, Tyler. You remember him?” Tyler had an extra bedroom in his garage apartment. Though Ren had every intention of getting his own place, moving in with Tyler would allow him to get comfortable in the new engineering job at Rochester and Rogue, and sock some cash away.

She nodded. “Is it weird being back under your parents’ roof?”

“Right now, it feels like spring break or something. No big deal. They’re both happy to see me. But after a few days, I’ll be ready to be back on my own. You know Mom, she’d like to have a chip embedded in me to track my every move.” He laughed, but his mother’s overprotective nature smothered him. She tried to stay on top of everything he did, even though he was twenty-three. He loved her greatly, but she had the maternal knack for driving him crazy.

Stacey reached up and pulled the knot of hair on top of her head a little tighter. The movement caused her chest muscles to flex, which in turn caused her breasts to bounce, and of course, he fixated there again.

He shouldn’t be staring. He’d seen her in a bathing suit hundreds of times, but she looked beautiful and this time everything felt different. Was different.

She was single. He was about to start his career.

She cleared her throat.

Guilty, his gaze lifted to her face. A flush spread over his cheeks at being caught.

She smiled, but shook her head, admonishing him.

“Sorry.” He lowered his head, disappointed, stomach twisting. He wanted to make a good impression. Wanted her to take him seriously, and yet he gawked at her as if he’d never seen a set of breasts in his life. He blew out a harsh breath.

“It’s okay, Ren.” Her voice seemed laced with sincerity. She had to know she was a knockout and had this effect on men. She moved on with their conversation as if his traitorous eyes had never wandered below her neck. “You obviously maintained your grades.”

“Yeah.” Relieved to move past the transgression, he answered. “Mom wasn’t impressed with my grades for the fall semester, considering it was my last year. I busted my ass and they improved in the spring. Football season distracted me.” He shrugged. “It’s hard to not participate in all the fun. Tailgating. Parties. You know. You went to Florida, too.”

The corners of her mouth twitched.

“Yes, I know what you’re talking about.” A reminiscent look softened her features. “But I wasn’t getting engineering and business degrees.”

“Don’t downplay what you do, Stace.” Even though Ren wouldn’t consider himself a reader of romance, he did read Stacey’s novels. The sex scenes enthralled him. He hadn’t realized reading a sexual encounter between characters could send his libido into overdrive, but his interest in her writing went deeper. Her work fascinated him—how she came up with story ideas and developed her characters. A lot went into writing a book, even if her ex thought of her career as a silly hobby. He’d spent numerous hours talking to her about her craft.

Her eyes fluttered closed and her cheeks pinkened as if his compliment had embarrassed her.

“I think highly of what I do. Creating worlds and characters, plotting storylines is no easy task. If it were, everyone would be successful and there are a lot of people trying. It took me seven or eight years of writing to create a book that drew the attention needed to push me to the next level. But my curriculum in college was different than yours. I’m sure your mom just wanted to see you excel.”

“She warned me during Christmas break that I needed to spend less time partying during the spring semester, and I’d better not use the basketball season as an excuse for less than perfect grades.” He chuckled. That conversation with Mom had been intense, but he understood her reasoning. “I agreed and buckled down, as Dad likes to say. I mean, I didn’t think either of my parents would be happy if I had to extend my college experience beyond five years.”

Stacey puffed out a chuckle. The sound zinged his heart.

She glanced at him with honesty in her eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with partying and having fun. Those chances won’t be as frequent once you start your job. With a career comes responsibility. It’s good that you enjoyed your college experience. Sounds to me like you kept your head on straight for the most part.” She winked. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach the way they always did when she teased him. “Congratulations and welcome to the real world, Ren!”

“Thanks. I think.” He grinned back.

“Any girls hold your eye?” Her genuine curiosity hung in the air. He’d always found it easy to talk to her about his personal life, including girls.

“I have my eye on a girl.” He said the words with confidence, but avoided her gaze. He feared she’d see the longing in his eyes. Heat coiled low in his belly, and arousal tensed his shoulders. He tightened his fingers around the armrests of the chair, attempting to rein in his desire.

He had his eye on a girl, all right. Her. Always. Since he was fifteen. Only at fifteen he didn’t know what to do with the attraction. At twenty-three, almost twenty-four, he knew exactly what to do.

Him being her neighbor wasn’t the reason for her interest. No, she expressed genuine interest in who he was and what made him tick. And he loved that. She saw beyond his exterior to the person underneath and liked him. A lot of women just saw him as a good-looking guy with an athletic body. He never thought he’d get bored having women peruse him with gazes begging for a ride, but he had. Though the physical admiration felt good, he wanted to be known for more than his face, body, and ability between the sheets. He wanted someone to want him for who he was underneath the physical qualities. Scratch that! He wanted Stacey to want him. Period.

“Have you asked her out?”

“Not yet. But I do have plans to let her know how I feel, soon.” Feeling her gaze on him, he looked up.

She cocked one curious eyebrow.

He fiddled with the button on the pocket of his cargo shorts, hoping he didn’t appear nervous. Why the hell was he so nervous anyway? He’d landed plenty of girls. Why was she so intimidating?

His palms slickened with sweat and his nerves jangled with fear of being rejected. Girls never rejected him. Most girls threw themselves at him and he had the ugly task of turning them down when necessary. A woman like Stacey might discount his feelings as a crush and he didn’t know how to deal with that possibility. And that dismissal had a high probability. She wouldn’t just give in to what he wanted.

The eight years between them didn’t bother him. Would she think the gap in their age insurmountable? Unrealistic? Would her friendship with his parents turn the idea of them together into something dirty, a scandal she’d do anything to avoid?

Sex. Yes, he wanted to fuck her every which way to Sunday. The thought kept him awake on numerous nights and calloused both his hands. But more than sex, he wanted to hold her hand, wrap his arms around her, and kiss her good night. He craved being the person she confided in, laughed with, the shoulder she cried on. He wanted to share a life with her. His life. Her life. Yep, at some point, Ren Haynes had fallen in love with his neighbor. With Randy out of the picture, nothing prevented him from going after what he wanted. Well, except for the fear of rejection.

“Lucky girl,” she whispered, bringing him out of his reverie.

“I hope she feels that way.”

“Why wouldn’t she? You’re an amazing guy.” She fanned herself with her hands as if staving off the heat. “Is this someone you might be interested in for more than just one of your one-night stands?”

His face grew warm and he bowed his head in shame. At this moment, he wished she didn’t know him quite as well. That she might think him incapable of a commitment didn’t sit well.

“Yes. One hundred and ten percent.”

“Wow! Ren Haynes has grown up.”

“Yes, I have.” His voice was soft, but poised.

“I’m impressed. And proud of you. I remember moving here ten years ago and you were just a thirteen-year-old kid with nothing but football and girls on the brain.” Laughing, she continued. “I think that remained your status for quite some time. But now, look at you, a college graduate with an engineering and a business degree. A bright future. It’s so great to see and have been a part of it.”

“You’re embarrassing me.” Swatting his hand in her direction, he grazed her arm. His heart stopped. His breath lodged. Starting where their skin connected, a current shot through him. He’d touched her before. They’d hugged, brushed past each other, and he’d even picked her up and tossed her in the pool. But this—this was different. Stronger.

She jerked her arm away as if the touch burned, and wrapped it over her middle. Goosebumps pebbled her forearm and the light hairs stood at attention. That he had any effect on her at all gave him hope.

“Any plans for the summer?” Despite her reaction, her voice remained calm.

“Not really. Was hoping to hang out around here when I’m not interning.” By here he meant right here, next to her. Taking her to dinner. Going to the beach at sunset. Curling up on the couch watching a movie. He didn’t care as long as they spent time together.

“Interning? That’s right! Your mom mentioned you got an internship in Tampa. How great. And exciting! Do you think you’ll get a permanent position there afterwards? Or do you plan to move on when it’s over?” Her rambling made his lips twitch with a hint of a smile. She seemed nervous, off balance since they touched. He wished he could see inside her pretty head to gauge where her thoughts had wandered. The insight would boost his confidence.

“I took my FE exam my last semester and passed it.”

“FE?” Her brows knitted.

“FE is the fundamentals examination. It’s the first part of my engineering license. I need to work or ‘intern’, as the firms like to say, for four years before I can even apply to take my professional exam and get my professional engineering license.”

“So, this internship is four years? That’s a long time.”

“It’s not the kind of internship you’re thinking. It’s paid. Health and retirement benefits. Paid vacations. Sort of like being an engineer without all the liability.” He laughed. He’d never admit his nervousness about the job. It had been one thing to take classes and practice structuring fake buildings. These buildings would be places where people would live or work. Though thoroughly excited, this reality also made his skin tingle and stomach somersault.

Real world, prepare!

“Rochester and Rogue train their interns with the hope they will take a permanent position. I’d like to stay in the area. I love it here. This is my home.” He had every intention of staying in the area and sweeping her off her feet, but she’d understand that soon enough. “Other than that, I just want to relax and get into the swing of this real-world stuff, as you call it. Catch up with some friends and family.”

“Sounds incredible. What a great opportunity for you.”

“Thanks, Stace. Means a lot to me that you feel that way. What’re you up to this summer?”

“Working on a new book.” Her words carried an edge of excitement and her eyes lit up like they always did when she wrote. Randy hadn’t zapped that aspect of her happiness. Good. “Remind me to tell you about it later. I’m still hashing out the characters, but the premise is there. Plus, I’m teaching one writing course at the community college this summer. I’ll be back full time in the fall, but I wanted to get this book going and a full load of writing classes in the summer is too intense to allow it. The semester doesn’t start for another two weeks either, so I’m pretending to have a ‘summer break,’ too.” She cocked an eyebrow and beamed at him. His chest tightened at her delight and happiness. She had no idea how sexy she was, how adorable.

“I want to hear about the book. Is it a romance or suspense?”

“It’s going to be both. I can’t tell you everything yet.” She folded her hands in front of her chest as if praying. “I’m still working it out, and you know how I am about revealing all of the details of my plot before it’s ready. But I’d love your thoughts when I am.”

“My thoughts?” He raised an eyebrow. That she asked his opinion on a storyline surprised him.

“Absolutely. The hero is going to be a pro-football player who gets wrapped up in a murder investigation of a teammate he had a feud with. The heroine is the detective investigating the case. I’ll need some help with the football terminology and making sure I get it right. Who better than you? You’re the biggest football buff I know.”

“I love it! I’m intrigued…and flattered,” he said, and meant it. “I look forward to helping.” Hell yeah! He wanted to throw up a fist pump. She’d just given him the most perfect excuse to spend time with her. Things were falling into place.

She swung her legs to the side of the chaise lounge and leaned forward with her elbows resting on her knees.

“Hmmm. Maybe I’ll even make the hero resemble you.” She studied his face with heat simmering in her blue eyes. Her gaze roved over his features, down his body and back up.

“How would you feel about a character in my book being physically based on you? Light brown hair, short, almost military. Eyes the color of a clear blue sky. A perfect nose, well, except for that little bump where you broke it long before I knew you.” She smiled. “Built, lean muscles, broad shoulders.”

Her voice sank low and sexy. He couldn’t tell if the change was for him or the character coming to life in her mind. She leaned closer. He swallowed the lump in his throat.

Her lips parted, her breath pushing out in little bursts. Her gaze dropped to his mouth. Was she going to kiss him? He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, trying desperately not to palm the back of her head and kiss the daylights out of her. Should he go for it?

He shifted, uncomfortable because his growing erection pressed into his shorts and he had no real way to adjust without being obvious. The movement shook her from her daze and her cheeks pinkened.

So, he did the only thing he knew would ease her discomfort and redirected the conversation. “Mom told me about Randy and the divorce being final. Why didn’t you mention the pending divorce when I was home last time? I know I was only home a few days before Cancun, but I’d have helped you deal with this. We’re friends, Stace.”

The light vanished from her eyes and he instantly regretted his words.

Damn it.

Changing the subject didn’t have to be hard. How about those Tampa Bay Rays? Have you been to the beach lately? Nope. He brought up her ex and deflated her like he’d stuck a pin in an overblown balloon.

“I’d never burden you with my problems.” She dropped her hands to her lap. “Randy fell in love, or maybe it was lust—how the hell should I know?—with someone else. He’d left our relationship months before the divorce. There was nothing you could do.”

“I’m not so sure about that. I could have punched him in the face.”

“That’s sweet, Ren.” She covered her mouth, bowed her head, and closed her eyes as if surprised by her words. Shaking her head, she laid her hand in her lap. “I’m sorry. I’m a horrible person for thinking that physical violence is sweet. It’s just nice to have someone on my side.”

“Don’t be sorry. You have every right to be angry and I am on your side.” He pushed out a rough breath. “How long was this going on?” Ren’s shoulders tensed, rising closer to his ears at the idea Randy showed up at the house for his parents’ barbeques and Christmas party with Stacey on his arm when he was banging another woman. If steam could shoot out the top of his head like a cartoon, it would. How could a man claim to love a woman and do such a thing?

“After a while I stopped asking for details, but I presume it had been going on for quite some time.”

“I am so sorry. I always thought you guys were happy. I know very little about relationships. I did envy him. Every time I’d see him kiss you or put an arm around you, I thought he was the luckiest man alive. You deserve so much more.”

Sadness filled her eyes. The corners of her mouth edged down. The wounded look on her face forced his hands into fists in his lap and he ground his teeth to keep from telling her exactly what he thought of her ex.

That fucking bastard!

He prayed to never come face-to-face with Randy again. He’d beat him to a pulp for putting that hurt look in her eyes. For planting insecurities in her mind that shouldn’t exist, had never existed before he broke her.

“Relationships change. We were together for eleven years, married for ten. I met him when I was so young, younger than you are now. He’d swept me off my feet at twenty. A soon-to-be lawyer, older and wiser than me. I thought we had it all for a bit, too. I got older and he wanted younger, I guess. She was his new paralegal at the firm. Twenty-two. Twenty-three. Apparently, the saying ‘one thing led to another’ really does happen.” She quirked an eyebrow and shrugged her shoulders. “So, here I am, single again.”

The twinge in his chest tightened at the crack in her voice. Being left, especially for a younger woman, appeared to bother her, chiseling away at her confidence.

Little did she know how grateful he was to have her back out playing the field, but with any luck, she wouldn’t be there long. He didn’t expect she’d be okay with his plans from the get-go, but he had nowhere else to be. He’d wait out the questions, her insecurities. He had nothing but time.

“I know it might be hard to see the big picture right now with the wounds still so fresh, but I know everything will work out for you. You’re an amazing woman.”

She tilted her head. Tears welled in her big blue eyes, breaking his heart.

“Thank you, Ren. The last few months have been difficult, but I’m doing okay.” She smiled, but it was small and forced.

“Is there anything I can help you with? Yard work? Pool cleaning? Whatever.”

“You want to be my lawn and pool boy this summer, do you?” Her eyes softened with her words, teasing him.

“I’d definitely consider that.” He’d be anything she wanted him to be.

“You’re cute.” She beamed at him.

He cringed at that word. Cute? Cute would never cut it. Not with a woman like Stacey. She needed sexy and brawny with a touch of sensitivity. He was all those things and he’d prove every one of them to her.

“But in all seriousness, with the new landscaping around the yard I won’t need too much help there.” She waved at their surroundings. “I do have a couple of projects I want to get done around the house. The pantry door in the kitchen is partially unhinged, and I want to install a ceiling fan in the living room. With the windows in that room, it’s stifling, even with the air on, so I thought a fan might help circulate cooler air. A set of extra hands would be great! Of course, I’ll pay you. I’d rather have you help me than have to hire a stranger.” 

“You don’t have to pay me. It’s my pleasure.” He’d take no money for the tasks. He’d only ask for a chance, a chance to prove that he was everything she needed, wanted.

She stood from the chaise and tucked the towel around her waist. “Would you like something to drink? I’m parched.” Before he could respond, she walked around the edge of the pool toward the sliding glass door at the back of the house that led to the kitchen. She disappeared inside.

Rising, he followed. He’d prove to her he was more than cute. He’d show her how sexy and desirable she was. Ren had a way to make her forget Randy—permanently. No better time than the present to erase that jackass from her mind.

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