As I sat at my desk and stared at my computer screen, I rolled my eyes. Fuck. I hated paperwork. And I hated the amount I had to do. I wanted to be back out in the field. Chasing around assholes and slamming cuffs on their wrists. There were too many people running around with nefarious purposes, and I wanted to be with my men. Directing them in the field and making sure they got back to their lives after it was all said and done.

I spun my chair around to look out the window and gazed across the city.

I had a perfect view of the Statue of Liberty off in the distance. Her glowing torch, shining brightly all through the day and night, was a beacon of hope. Of safety. Of perseverance. It was my favorite view in the entire damn building. A constant reminder of why I did what I did as I SEAL and why I built the company I did. To protect people. To help them weather their own trials. To give them someone to turn to for safety.

But Lady Liberty couldn’t pierce through the thick fog of Alicia.

She had clouded my thoughts. Buried herself underneath my skin. She’d been at my house taking care of me for almost four weeks, and I had no idea what was going on with us. One minute she was smiling and riding my cock and the next minute I’d catch her staring out towards the street as worry and uncertainty filled her stare.

I didn’t know what was going to happen to us now that I was back to work.

I figured she would leave. Find a life for herself and carve out her own path. She deserved that after all she’d been through. And I wanted her to have it. I protected her and took Langley down so she could have something like that for herself.

But a part of me didn’t want to release her yet.

“Smith!”

I turned around in my seat and held my hand out as Abram shook it.

“It’s fucking good to see you awake,” he said.

“It’s good to be awake.”

“You good to be back at work yet?”

“I’m not cleared for field work. Probably won’t be for a while? But apparently, paperwork doesn’t require as much manual labor.”

“Fuck paperwork. Come get some lunch with us,” he said.

“Wings and beer?” I asked.

“You know it,” he said, smiling.

“Let me guess. Yoake’s turn to choose.”

“Do you even have to ask? The man practically lives off hot sauce, chicken, and alcohol.”

“It’s amazing how that man hasn’t dropped dead of a heart attack yet,” I said.

“So, you in? You good?”

I was in, but I wasn’t sure I was good. Lunch with the guys would be a great slip back into my routine, but I wasn’t sure if that was good. I wasn’t sure if I wanted my old routine. Long hours. Sleepless nights. Weeks away from home while guarding other people. I couldn't stop thinking about Alicia. About her sitting there alone in that massive house with nothing to do. Nowhere to go. No one to talk with her about where she wanted to go next.

Routine felt nice, but maybe it was time for a different routine.

“You good, boss?” Abram asked.

But before I could answer his question, my cell phone rang.

I reached for it and opened it up without looking at who was calling. I figured it was another investor calling to wish me back on my first day. Or one of the guys from downstairs telling me to haul ass because they were hungry. However, I got neither.

Instead, I got Alicia.

“Hey there, Ryder.”

“Hey,” I said. “Everything okay?”

I held my finger up to Abram and he held his hands up before he walked over to the elevator.

“I wanted to call you really quickly because I’m at the grocery store and I’m not sure what you want.”

I blinked as her words hit my ear.

She was grocery shopping?”

“Ryder? You still there?”

“Yeah. Sorry. Um… you’re at the grocery store?”

“Yep. I went to go make lunch for myself and realized that, well, we didn’t have much. If anything, really. Coffee and chips was about it.”

“So your gut reaction was to grocery shop?” I asked.

“This isn’t one of those habits, Ryder. I’m hungry. And if you come home hungry, you won’t have anything to eat.”

I was stunned.

Alicia was still at the house.

“Everything okay?” she asked. “Did I call at a bad time? I figured you’d be taking a lunch break around now.”

“Why are you still at the house?” I asked.

I cringed at how terrible that sounded.

“Sorry. What I meant was, I thought when I went back to work you would, I don’t know-”

“Move on?” Alicia asked.

“That’s one way to put it.”

“Look, this isn’t an existential question. Do you prefer ketchup or barbecue sauce with your french fries?”

“Who puts barbecue sauce on their french fries?”

“I do,” she said plainly.

“That’s gross.”

“And so it ketchup on eggs. Deal with it,” she said, giggling.

The playfulness in her voice tugged a grin across my cheeks.

“Do you want me to leave?” Alicia asked.

The question gave me pause. There it was. The one thing the two of us were dancing around. I knew it. She knew it. That was the question swirling around in her eyes whenever she gazed out the window. I looked up at Abram standing near the elevator, waving me on and patting his stomach.

I stood up from my chair and grabbed my coat before I headed for the doorway.

“No, I don’t,” I said.

“Really?” she asked.

“Really. And as far as groceries are concerned, get whatever you want. There isn’t a food out there I haven’t eaten that I hate, but don’t worry about dinner.”

“Wait, why not? I was going to cook meatloaf.”

“And while your homemade meatloaf is probably better than anyone else’s, I’m craving bulgogi. There’s this great place that does takeout, so that’s what I’m bringing home.”

“Home,” she said.

The elevator door opened to let Abram and I step in. I jutted my arm out so the door wouldn’t close, but I wasn’t ready to step in yet. I wasn’t risking the cutting on this conversation because of a metal box. I heard the sound of her voice. The hesitancy in it. The way she was trying it out on the tip of that sweet tongue of hers.

“Then… I’ll be here when you get home,” Alicia said.

“Excellent,” I said as I stepped into the elevator. “Going out with the guys for lunch. Let me know when you get back to the house with those groceries.”

“Not going to come help a girl out?” she asked.

“Do you want help?”

The elevator doors closed and I knew we only had a few more seconds.

“Nope. I think I’ve got it. But if you can think of anything specific over the next hour or so, shoot me a text. Otherwise, you might end up with a lot of wine and cheese in your fridge.”

“I’m not complaining,” I said, grinning. “I’ll see you when I get home.”

“See you then.”