Chapter 17

Liza

 

 

I managed to walk into the sports complex, going to the public portion instead of going through the locker room. I had no idea how many men were still in there, and I wasn’t going to risk walking in on naked men, especially after the conversation I just had with Milo. The man managed to get under my skin every time. It wasn’t just what he said. It was everything about him. Then, he had the audacity to bring up our night together.

How dare he? That was rude and crass. The man was disgusting. I rubbed a hand through my hair. He wasn’t disgusting, but dammit, he should have better manners than to bring that up.

“Shit, shit, shit,” I mumbled under my breath as I stood in front of one of the large windows facing the parking lot.

I could see him in his car. He was just sitting there. I knew I had to tell my dad tonight, no matter what. Milo wasn’t blowing smoke. He was serious. He would sic his lawyer on me and it would blow up in the papers. My little girl would get dragged into it in no time. Everyone knew her already because of all the time she spent in front of the camera with my dad. I could only imagine what people would say to her.

I couldn’t let that happen. As much as I was dreading telling my dad, I knew it was for the best.

“Shit, shit, shit,” I repeated.

“I’m going to get a bar of soap and wash that mouth out, young lady. What’s got you in such a tizzy?”

Stunned, I spun around and faced my dad. “Nothing. I forgot something at school is all. No big deal.”

He eyed me suspiciously. “Okay, well why don’t you go back and get it?”

I waved a hand. “It’s fine. Are you ready?”

“I am. Is Ainsley with Vanessa?” he asked, as we walked out to the parking lot.

“Yep. Just me and you tonight,” I said, with a fake cheeriness.

He drove us to the steakhouse, and I decided liquid courage was the way to go. I briefly remembered using that same crutch five years ago, which led me to where I was now, but I didn’t care.

We ordered a bottle of wine, and I didn’t wait for it to be poured. Filling my glass, I started drinking.

“You going to tell me what’s got you so upset? And don’t say it’s nothing, because I know you too well to buy that. Just tell me, what’s going on?”

I took another long drink from my wine glass. “I have to tell you something.”

He nodded. “Okay. What? I can handle it.”

I smirked. I almost wanted a camera running so I could record this moment in my life. The moment I crushed my dad’s image of me. The moment I disappointed him and tarnished that perfectly cultivated image I had always projected. He was going to see I wasn’t quite as perfect as he thought.

Staring at the wine glass in my hand, I just blurted it out.

“Milo is Ainsley’s father.”

I heard the breath whoosh out of his lungs. I looked up in time to see the true shock on his face and felt like a complete failure. I now knew what it looked like to let my father down.

“What?” his voice was raspy.

I watched as his face paled even more. The man had a permanent tan from his many hours in the Florida sun, but not now. Now, he looked as if he was going to be sick. I suddenly wondered if this news could cause him to have a heart attack. I would never forgive myself if that happened.

“Dad?”

He leaned back in his chair and picked up the napkin off the table. He dabbed at his forehead and then his neck before taking a drink of water. I watched as he glanced around the room. The man was very recognizable. I knew he was looking to make sure no one had heard what I said or witnessed his response.

“Dad?” I repeated when he didn’t answer. I was seriously worried about his health.

“I’m fine,” he bit out.

“Dad, I’m so sorry.”

“Why wouldn’t you have told me before? Why now?”

I blinked back the tears that were welling in my eyes. I shrugged a shoulder, unable to speak.

“Liza, I don’t understand. This is all a little overwhelming. Have I ever made you feel as if you couldn’t come to me with the truth about anything?”

I shook my head, still not able to talk.

“Why now?”

“I had no choice.”

He took a deep breath and smiled at the waiter who had appeared at our table. Dad ordered for both of us while I sipped my wine. My dad hated scandals. It was why he had such strict rules for his players.

“This is probably not the best place to have this conversation. I think we can wait until we are home, in private.”

I nodded my head. “I’m sorry. I should have thought of that.”

He shrugged, pretending it was no big deal. I kept sipping my wine, praying I could get drunk before we had a private place to continue the topic.

We ate our dinners in relative peace. He talked about the game on Sunday. I nodded and did my best to get into the conversation, but I knew I had failed miserably. I just wanted to go home and forget the night had happened.

When I went to refill my wine, he stayed my hand. “You need to drive home.”

I nodded, knowing full well I had a bottle at home. I planned on busting it open the moment I walked through the door.

When we got into his car, he drove back to the sports complex in silence.

I practically jumped out when he pulled up next to my car.

“Liza,” he said, stopping me from fleeing.

“Yes?”

“This isn’t over. I want to know what happened. I’m glad you told me, but I’m very interested in hearing the details. I can tell there’s a story, but I won’t press you tonight. Go home, get some sleep and we’ll talk tomorrow.”

“Fine,” I mumbled and shut the door.

I drove home, parked my car and then walked to Vanessa’s to pick up Ainsley. I wasn’t drunk, but I wasn’t going to risk getting pulled over or getting in an accident with Ainsley in the car and alcohol on my breath. That would basically mean handing my child over to Milo.

I knocked on Vanessa’s door.

“Uh-oh. That is not the face of a woman who had a great dinner.”

I gave a bit of a watery smile. “Not so much.”

She reached out and pulled me into her arms. “I’m so sorry. Come in. Ainsley’s watching SpongeBob.”

“I shouldn’t have told him in a public place. That was stupid. I don’t know why I ever thought that was a good idea.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “You couldn’t have known. I mean, in a way, a public place probably saved you from a complete outburst.”

I laughed. “So instead I got the horrified look and the lecture about embarrassing him in public and making a scene, which will all be followed up tomorrow with the complete outburst.”

“Seriously, he was mad?”

“I don’t really know. I think he was disappointed. His only question was why I didn’t tell him before. We didn’t get a chance to say anything else before the waiter appeared. Then it was all business as usual. When he dropped me off, he said we would talk about it later. I don’t know what that means.”

“Poor Milo,” Vanessa muttered.

“What do you mean, poor Milo?” I asked, a little irritated.

She looked at me like I was an idiot. “Your dad is going to kick his ass, literally and figuratively. If you didn’t tell him the whole story, your dad is going to assume the guy knocked you up, knew about it, then left you—and Ainsley.”

I could feel my face going pale.

“Oh shit.”

“Yeah, oh shit is right. You may want to warn the guy.”

“No. I don’t want to talk to him. He’s the one that forced me to do this,” I spat out.

The look she gave me was one I had bestowed on Ainsley a number of times.

“Liza, really? I don’t think this is his fault. I mean, yes, he is here, pressuring you to tell your secret, but maybe it shouldn’t have been a secret?”

I buried my face in my hands and shook my head back and forth.

“Why, why, why? Why did I make such stupid choices?”

“You were young, and you panicked. You thought you were all alone in the situation. I’m sure you did what you thought was best, and maybe it was at the time, but that time has changed. Ainsley has a father that wants to be a part of her life. Your dad will have to accept that, and so will you. It’s the best thing for her. Think of her life over the next fifteen years. All those father-daughter occasions. Having her daddy there beside her will make all those firsts very special,” she said gently.

“I know. I’ve thought about all that, which is why I’m agreeing to let him see her. I wanted to avoid it getting messy, but I think I stepped into a big pile of shit tonight,” I muttered.

That drew a laugh from her. “I don’t think it’s nearly as bad as you think. Go home, get some sleep and talk to your dad tomorrow after you’ve both had some time to think about it. You know damn well your dad has your back. It will all be fine.”

“Thank you. You are my best friend in the whole wide world,” I said, hugging her again.

She laughed. “I’m your only friend. It isn’t hard to be the best when there’s no competition.”

“Hey!”

“Ainsley, your mom is here!” she called out.

I grabbed Ainsley’s hand, and we walked the short distance home. She was absolutely oblivious to the turmoil unfolding around her. I was glad she had no idea. Her world was about to be changed in a big way. I knew she would be thrilled to have a daddy in her life. Deep down, that made me happy. I wanted her to have those experiences. I wasn’t sure I was quite ready to trust Milo to take care of her on an all-day trip to Disney World, but maybe one day.

For so long, she had been my sole responsibility. I dreaded relinquishing some of that responsibility, but also looked forward to sharing the burden. Having someone who could watch her at times and someone to be scared alongside me when she was sick, or to attend that first school function with me might be nice. My dad had done his best to fill in as her daddy, but it wasn’t fair to him or Ainsley. My dad raised his daughter. He shouldn’t have to play double duty as grandpa and pseudo-father.

“What’s wrong, Mommy?” Ainsley asked as I wiped away the tears silently streaming down my face.

“Nothing, sweetie. I just had something in my eye. Everything is fine. Let’s get you to bed. We have school tomorrow,” I told her, hoping I sounded completely normal.

Once she was in bed, I debated whether I should call Milo and warn him but decided against it. My dad was a professional. He wouldn’t let this interfere with his work. I knew there would be things said outside of practice, but hopefully, he would give me a chance to explain. I knew he was not going to be pleased to hear about what I did.