Chapter 27 

Liza

 

 

I set the stack of pancakes on the table before I noticed Milo going into another one of those panic attacks he seemed to have recently become prone to in the last twenty-four hours.

“Are you okay?” I said, in a hushed voice, not wanting to alarm Ainsley.

She was happily dumping syrup over her pancake and humming the SpongeBob theme song.

He looked at me and blinked rapidly several times. “Yeah.”

I wasn’t going to say anything now, but I meant to talk to him later. The guy had a paralyzing fear of family. The team had their own psychiatrist on staff. I thought it would be a really good idea for Milo to sit down and talk with the doctor. I had a feeling he would object to the idea, but I would find a way to persuade him.

“Want pancakes?” I asked him, trying to give him something else to focus on.

I wasn’t sure exactly what had triggered the most recent attack, but I had noticed yesterday it happened immediately after Dad mentioned the family dinner. Then again, this morning when Ainsley and I had been cooking in the kitchen. I knew it was a very homey, family scene and it freaked him out. I knew that, but did he know that?

“Yes, please,” he said, his voice hoarse.

I stabbed a couple pancakes with my fork and put them on his plate. “Ainsley, can you hand Daddy the syrup please?”

I waited to watch his response. We’d had breakfast together before and it had been fine. I had a feeling this morning was different because of what had happened between us last night. He didn’t need to worry that I was going to demand his hand in marriage or ask him to move in. I would let him know that as well, I thought to myself.

We managed to get through breakfast without any further freak-out episodes.

“I have to get to practice,” he said, leaning over and kissing me.

We had been sitting together on the couch, snuggling while Ainsley played and watched television.

I kissed him back, “Will we see you tonight?”

“Yes, I’ll be there.”

“Are you going to be okay?”

He nodded, “Yes, sorry about all that.”

“Maybe we can talk later?” I asked, looking at Ainsley pointedly, making sure he understood it was an adult-ears-only kind of conversation. Plus, I really wanted to get him alone again. He had flipped a switch inside me and I couldn’t seem to get enough sex. I wanted more and more and more.

“Yeah, we’ll see how dinner goes. I’m going to call for an Uber,” he said, grabbing his phone.

“Oh, I can take you. I forgot you didn’t have your car here.”

“No, you two stay here and enjoy your day. I’ll be fine.”

Once he left, I quickly showered and got ready for the day.

“Ainsley, are you ready to put up our Christmas decorations?”

She jumped up and clapped her hands with excitement. I was a little late doing it this year, but with the whole Milo situation, it had been pushed to the back burner. I’d thought about asking if he wanted to help, but now had a feeling that would have sent him into a full-blown panic attack. He was going to need to ease into this fatherhood thing. I knew it would be overwhelming, but he didn’t quite seem to get that and had been ready to jump in with both feet. I bet he was regretting that now.

The time flew by with our decorating project, and before I knew it, it was time to head over to Dad’s. I still had to pick up the chicken and sides. Usually, I cooked the meal, but tonight we were celebrating. I splurged and went all out with all the decadent of potato salad, macaroni salad, rolls and my favorite garlic whipped potatoes. To make it a little healthy, I grabbed some fresh veggies from a local produce stand.

“Help me set the table, please. Grandpa and Daddy will probably be here any minute.”

I heard the front door and felt butterflies whiz around my stomach. I prayed Dad and Milo had gotten along and there was nothing weird. Yesterday had felt very tense when they were together.

Realizing it was both of them, I was a little surprised. I heard them chatting as they walked through the living room and braced myself for whatever was to come.

“Hey,” Milo greeted us.

“Daddy!” Ainsley said, throwing herself at him.

He hugged her and then she hugged Grandpa. That was a relief. I wasn’t sure how my dad would handle being thrown over for a younger man.

“It certainly smells good in here!” my dad exclaimed.

“Fried chicken, just like you wanted, Papa!”

“Good. I bet your daddy here is starving. I made him run a lot today,” he winked.

Milo groaned and nodded his head. “Too much.”

“I hope you guys are hungry because we got a lot of food. I figured if we were going to splurge on fried chicken, we would go all out. Today only!”

“I’m down for that,” Milo answered.

We all sat down and heaped our plates full of food. Of course, the steamed veggies were passed over, but I insisted everyone have a little.

I didn’t have to worry about the dinner atmosphere being tense at all. Dad and Milo carried on a running conversation about football. It was all about the other teams, who they were playing next, outstanding players and on and on.

“Can I go play outside with Bart?” Ainsley asked.

“Take one more bite of potatoes and then you can go,” I told her.

“Are we boring you, pumpkin?” my dad asked.

I wanted to chime in and declare they were boring me but figured I better not. I didn’t want to risk upsetting the easygoing mood they were both in.

“What about you?” Milo asked.

I shrugged, “I’m fine.”

The way he was looking at me made me feel very not fine. My mind drifted back to last night and this morning in the kitchen. I knew we were pretending nothing happened in front of my dad. I hadn’t had to spell it out. It was just understood.

“Sorry,” my dad said sheepishly. “I’m still riding the high from yesterday. I’ve been fielding calls from the press all day. Milo here has been asked to give a couple interviews. So far, he is turning them all down.”

Milo shook his head. “I hate talking to the media. I always feel like I’m going to say something wrong that will erupt into some controversy. I’m positive my words will be twisted and no matter what I say it will be taken out of context and manipulated to sell a story. Not interested.”

“Probably a good idea right now,” my dad said, looking out the sliding glass doors that faced the backyard where Ainsley was playing.

“Exactly. If I get nervous and her name slips out, or they ask me about my personal life and I inadvertently say something, I—” he stopped talking and shook his head.

“Good plan. Don’t talk to anyone. I don’t want Ainsley to be scrutinized by the press. You two may be the big bad football guys, but if they mess with my child, I will make them very sorry,” I said vehemently.

I had seen what some of the other players had gone through when their illegitimate and legitimate kids were made public. Some reporters were respectable, others, not so much.

Milo grinned. “That sounds scary.”

“It is. A photographer got too close when Ainsley was just a baby, and it took several of my guys to hold her back,” my dad joked.

“It wasn’t that bad,” I defended myself.

“It was worse,” Dad shot back.

Milo was laughing. “I think I’m going to believe your dad. I’ve seen firsthand how protective you can be. I like it, but I don’t ever want to be the one on the receiving end of that mama bear inside you.”

I blushed, not wanting to talk about the fact he was Ainsley father. It felt very strange to be sitting at my dad’s kitchen table talking about all of that. I knew it was obvious how it happened, but it made me uncomfortable.

“Ready for dessert?” I asked, standing up and putting some distance between them and me.

“Sure,” Milo answered. “What is it?”

“Ice cream.”

“Sounds good, but I need to check my messages first really quick,” my dad said, leaving the room.

Milo grabbed some of the dirty dishes off the table and carried them to the sink.

“So, how was it?” I asked Milo.

“How was what?”

“Dinner. I know you were a little freaked out by it. Feeling okay about it now?”

“I’m good. Really good. It was much easier than I thought it would be,” he said, leaning forward to kiss me.

I jerked away. The look of shock, anger, and hurt on his face made me realize what I had just done.

He looked into my eyes for several long seconds.

“Ah, I get it. You don’t want Daddy to know you’re sleeping with the help, right? You can get down and dirty, as long as your dad doesn’t know?”

I shook my head, feeling horrible for rebuffing him. “No, it isn’t like that.”

“Obviously, it is.”

“No, it isn’t. I just, I don’t know, I just didn’t—”

“Don’t worry about it. I get it. You wanted to get laid. You did, and now you’re over it. That’s cool. It was fun. Let me know when you’re ready for another roll in the hay. I’ll see if I can squeeze you into my busy schedule,” he said, spinning around and leaving the kitchen.

I stood there watching him go, but I didn’t try and stop him. I had acted like a bitch. I knew that. We had played house all night, and it had been fine, but I didn’t want my dad to know. I wasn’t ashamed of Milo; I was ashamed of myself, but he didn’t know that.

Managing to put everything away, I was dishing up the ice cream when Milo breezed through the kitchen and out the back door.

“Hey, Red!” he called out.

Ainsley giggled and ran over towards him. He dropped to his knees and hugged her. “I have to go. I’ll see you soon, okay.”

“Are you coming to our house, Daddy? We put up our Christmas decorations, and it looks real pretty.”

“Not today, kid. I have to go home and get ready for a busy day tomorrow. I’ll see you soon,” he said and came back into the kitchen.

“You’re leaving?”

“Yes.”

“Milo,” I tried to stop him.

“Goodbye, Liza,” he said, without looking at me and headed out of the house.

I felt awful for what I had done. He looked so dejected. I needed to talk to my dad about the situation. I stopped mid-scoop. What was the situation? I didn’t know what Milo and I were doing. We had sex. I didn’t think he was ready to settle down and have any kind of relationship. There was no point in saying anything to my dad if it was going to be a fling here and there. I didn’t have to tell my dad everything, right?

“Ainsley, ice cream is ready!”

I’d worry about all of that later. Milo would calm down and call or text. I didn’t want to bring up the relationship topic and send him into a seizure. I had seen what the idea of family gatherings did to him. He was definitely not ready to talk about the future.