THIRTEEN

When Ryker finally left, she decided to wait for Lark near the back door of the house so she wouldn’t miss him but also so he wouldn’t suspect she had seen him in the gym. Her mind wanted to focus on the very graceful and very limber paladin but she forced her mind back where it should be; her duty. It was a mere ten minutes later when Lark, now fully clothed minus his shoes, walked down the stone path connecting the large exterior building which housed the gym and pool to the homey, converted barn. She saw the moment he noticed her presence because he slowed his gait, his face morphing into a happy and welcoming smile.

“What are you smiling at?” she asked a little breathlessly. Was that soft, warm smile for her?

“Looks like you’ve got a little hitchhiker,” he said, pointing to her left shoulder as he came to a stop in front of her. “I still find it hard to believe we have a slater bug as a pet,” he chuckled.

Ivy looked at her shoulder and saw a tiny, grey beetle clinging happily to her shirt with his numerous miniature legs. She felt herself flush; Smiling at you, was he Ivy? You’re pathetic. That look was for a bug!

“Something wrong?” he queried with a frown.

“What? No, of course not,” she quickly guaranteed him.

“You sure? Because if it was anyone else, I’d say that look was … chagrin. But on you, I’m not so sure. What could you possibly have to be embarrassed about?”

Ivy didn’t answer, hoping the question was rhetorical. Instead, she put her finger out and Bert the beetle climbed on board. He really was a cute little thing; small grey body very reminiscent of an armadillo, only Bert was about one-centimetre front end to end. He had over a dozen tiny, pale, hair-thin legs, and two little grey antennae. When she had first arrived, he and his little Woodlouse friends would immediately roll into their trademark balls whenever she approached. But over the weeks, even the little beetles had warmed up to her and Bert no longer used his defence mechanism when she was near. She smiled at the little fellow but restrained herself from cooing like an idiot at him. Lark squinting up at the sky and then bending down to feel the ground had her refocusing;

“What are you doing?” she asked, truly stupefied.

“I’m seeing if there’s a blue moon and checking to see if Hell has frozen over. Because I swear, that thing you just did with your lips … it was a smile.”

She immediately scowled in his direction. This is what she got for being nice – sarcasm. Lark’s demeanour quickly changed from flippant to serious and he took a step closer to her. She forced herself to stand her ground.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I was just joking. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” he apologised.

“You didn’t,” she quickly guaranteed him. His emerald peepers remained on her face for a few moments and she stayed completely still – a trick she had learned when Nik was trying to do his Jedi-mind-meld thing.

“Whatever you say,” he soothed and quickly changed the subject before she could defend herself again, “Were you waiting for me?”

She straightened her shoulders, feeling on much safer ground discussing business, “Yes. I wanted to see if you were feeling up to getting on the road. My Commander informed me of some troubling rumours and I think we’re running on borrowed time.”

She watched in fascination as his bright, green eyes darkened in unison with his frown, “What kind of rumours?”

“The kind that says Max is a fraud and an evil usurper.”

“Shit! They’re getting worse?” he queried, worryingly.

Ivy nodded, “Yes. I have real concerns this whole thing is going to blow up in our faces. If Max wants redeemable chades, we need to find them asap.”

Lark firmed his jaw in determination, “Well, I’m pretty much back to normal. As soon as Max gives us the go ahead, we’ll leave. And between you and Dex, we should have no problem finding more chades. You both have a built-in radar where they’re concerned,” he added, looking like he wanted to say more but restraining himself instead.

She didn’t know why that bothered her so much so she half-prompted, half-demanded; “Just ask.”

He shrugged, not bothering to deny he had something to say, “I can understand Dex’s affinity with the chades but not yours. You seem to have a connection with them almost, as well as a deeper connection with your element.”

She chewed the inside of her lip as she contemplated the best way to answer him. The curiosity from both Dex and Lark had been palpable when she had said the earth alerted her to the chades when they had been hunting Knox. She could tell they believed she had an unusually strong connection with her element for a paladin, but that wasn’t strictly true. Still feeling the sting of guilt for invading Lark’s privacy, she decided to reveal some little spoken about facts;

“The earth speaks to me – tells me where they are. I think that’s true of all rangers. Our elements seem to be more in tune with chades than other paladins. We have more of a connection to them. It’s why we become rangers and not just sworn paladins.”

His eyebrows arched, “I didn’t know that.”

She shrugged negligently, “It’s not something that is spoken about.”

“Another secret from the council?” his voice held disdain.

She sighed, knowing she was going to have to explain herself more, “It’s not that we’re told not to talk about it. But who would we tell? We don’t socialise with anyone other than rangers much. Wardens see us as workers and paladins see us as some kind of monster. We’re the bogeymen of society, doing the dirty work that no-one else wants to do.”

“But that’s not all there is to it,” Lark encouraged.

Ivy hesitated for a second and then figured it was in their best interest to get to know each other a little. Besides, perhaps he would reciprocate and share some of his confidences, like his ability to dance or his scars … “No. That’s not all there is to it,” she confirmed, “Tell me, what did you feel the first time you saw Max?”

If he was surprised by the apparent shift in topic, he didn’t show it. Instead, he smiled cheekily, revealing a set of even, white teeth; “Now that’s a loaded question. But I think I know what you’re alluding to. You’re talking about the instinctive bond that exists between a warden and their paladins when the connection is organic.”

She nodded, “Correct.”

Lark shifted his gaze above her head, a wistful smile transforming his face and reminding her how appealing it was, “When I first walked into that bar, the earth literally shifted beneath my feet,” he began. “I looked up and saw this short woman sitting on a too-tall chair and my heart started beating faster, my breath became shallow. I felt an immediate need to be near her and if Axel and Darius hadn’t followed her out of that bar – I sure would have.” He arched a look at her, “I thought it was love at first sight.”

That confession had Ivy literally sputtering and an incredulous, “What?!” flying from her mouth.

He laughed – a self-deprecating laugh; “I know, hilarious right? But what was I supposed to think? I’d never been in an Order before so I had no idea what a natural bond felt like. I’ve experienced an instant attraction to women before but again, this was different. The only logical conclusion in those initial few moments was that it was love.” His smile was crooked as he angled his face half away from hers, “Don’t worry, after just minutes in the car with her I knew it couldn’t be that. By the time we were back at the camp, my feelings for her were already firmly in the platonic category. She was so sick and sensitive and there was such a vulnerability to her then. I wanted to hug her – not sleep with her.”

Vulnerable? Max? Ivy couldn’t reconcile the outspoken, fiery, powerful woman with the picture Lark was painting. Despite her brash behaviour and outspoken opinions, there was a definite sweetness to Max. But vulnerable? Not that Ivy had seen.

Lark held up a hand, “I know, I know. Max doesn’t exactly give off the vulnerable vibe. But there’s more to her than what you see on the surface … as is the case with everybody,” he added.

Was he trying to make a point about himself, or me? Ivy wasn’t sure but she knew the comment wasn’t a benign one.

“Anyway, we’re getting off track. We were talking about the bond between paladins and wardens. I assume you asked because it’s similar for you? But instead of that instinctual bond with a warden, you feel that way with chades?” he asked, and the surprise in his voice was obvious.

“Yes and no,” she answered, slowly – still unsure how much to reveal. She should have known someone with his intellect wouldn’t be satisfied with a half-answer. But all this talking was getting to her; first with Ryker this morning and now with Lark. She was not garrulous by nature, preferring to let others waste their words while she sat back and watched. And she most certainly didn’t share her thoughts and feelings easily. So why was she about to reveal something so intimate about herself and her fellow rangers to what amounted to a complete stranger?

Because we have to be able to trust each other in battle, that’s why, she assured herself. There was no other reason, like the fact that she felt comfortable in his presence or actually enjoyed talking with him. Nope, that wasn’t why she continued to explain;

“As paladins – or rangers – we don’t feel our elements as much as the wardens nor can we actively manipulate or create them. But they still talk to us; the earth comforts me, it warns me when I’m in danger, for example.”

Lark was nodding, “Sure. It’s the same for me. The earth is integral when it comes to helping with Max.”

“Well, instead of the earth telling me when my liege or a warden is in need, it warns me of a chade’s presence; where they are, how many there are. I can’t feel them – don’t be mistaken – but my element can. It creates an instinctive need for me to seek them out.”

“Huh,” Lark tilted his head to the side, “So, you’ve always known you were going to join the rangers and not an Order? Like a calling?”

Exactly like a calling, she silently acknowledged. And knowing Max shared that calling with the chades had been one of the primary reasons Ivy had pledged her loyalty to her. But all she said to Lark was; “Yes.”

“And that’s the same for all rangers?” he pressed.

She gave a negligent shrug, “Pretty much.” As she watched him, she could almost hear the wheels turning in his head. He was a thinker, she’d give him that. She only wished she didn’t find that trait so appealing.

“I owe you an apology,” he said, presently.

“Huh?” She had no idea what he was talking about.

“An apology,” he repeated, before clarifying, “When I asked you if you were going to be able to save the chades instead of killing them? That was clearly an insult. You’ve always wanted to save them … haven’t you?”

Ivy quickly ducked her head, knowing there was no way she’d be able to hide her emotions from his sharp eyes and analytic mind. She felt exposed for some reason, as if someone was seeing the real her for the very first time. People didn’t bother trying to figure out what made her tick and some of the onus of that was on her. She wasn’t a big fan of people as a rule and she knew she kind of had a fuck off vibe about her. But she still couldn’t deny the twinge of disappointment she felt when others made assumptions about her. So, for someone to recognise that she actually did have a few layers and a beating heart … it made her feel all warm inside. She thought, maybe, the warmth was a little heightened because it came from the man standing in front of her. Perhaps that is why she answered truthfully;

“I guess I always believed – always hoped – the purpose for the connection wasn’t to hunt the chades … but to save them.”

The admission was a hard one to make out loud, despite the current comfortable circumstances, and she found herself bracing for Lark’s response. He had apologised but now that she had confirmed his theory would he laugh at her? Show derision? It wouldn’t be the first time. She had only spoken her secret dreams to two other people on the planet; Nikolai and Alex. Nikolai was easy – he shared her views – but Alex had been a different story.

She had been seeing the older ranger for a couple of months – practically a long-term relationship for her – when she had told him about her feelings concerning the chades. The man had laughed his arse off and then told her she was delusional and soft. He had capped it off by saying; “And this is why women shouldn’t be soldiers – you’re all weak.” She hadn’t been in love with the other ranger but she had thought they were at least friends and she had trusted him. His words had not only made her feel like a fool but they had also made her second guess herself. After all, it was pretty laughable that the executioner wanted to heal rather than hurt. But she hadn’t given the chauvinistic bastard the satisfaction of seeing the blow to her confidence. Instead, she’d done what any self-respecting female would have done; she’d kicked his nuts into his throat. Chancing a glance at Lark, she saw that his face held acceptance and curiosity – nothing more.

“That makes sense. Do other rangers feel the same way?” he asked, his question laced with curiosity.

“I can’t speak for anyone else,” even though she knew of at least one other ranger who felt the same way – Nikolai.

Her commanding officer was her best friend – her only friend if she was being brutally honest with herself. He had been a ranger before she was even thought of, being on good terms with Dex – formally Charlemagne – for hundreds of years. What had started as respect between colleagues had slowly but surely turned into a friendship. They had never been lovers. Once she discovered their potential for friendship, she hadn’t been interested in complicating that by sleeping with him. That was despite the fact that Nik was one of the sexiest men she had ever had the pleasure of ogling.

“Hmm,” was Lark’s response.

Now, why did that one non-verbal sound hold such a wealth of knowledge? Like he had read her thoughts and knew all that she hadn’t said. Despite his easy reaction to her admission, she still needed clarification, “So you believe me?”

He looked surprised, “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because I’m a killer. You’ve said so yourself in the past,” she pointed out, the reminder cooling her feelings a little.

“Well, sure. But that was before you explained yourself. I mean, if someone told me my connection to Max was only to cause pain and harm, I wouldn’t believe it either. Why should your bond with the chades be any different?” he eyed her closely.

Ivy took a physical step back, feeling as though he was seeing just a little too much now, and she felt herself begin to panic a little. She should never have opened up to him in the first place.