DIANE LEFT ME a note a few days after Steve’s, suggesting a night for pizza. The night we chose ended up being bitterly cold, with winds threatening to pull down trees and the power lines connecting the south end of the island to the north. Instead of going out, I offered to pick up dinner and have her over to my house. If the power did go out, I at least had a generator unlike where Diane lived. Maggie always enjoyed “disconnecting” and would live by candlelight and the wood stove. She had all sorts of romantic notions of winter on Whidbey. I wondered how Diane would fair if we did lose power for the night. Or a couple of days. Not unusual if we had high winds or ice.
After texting about our likes and “never on my pizza”, I had a Hawaiian pizza with jalapeños keeping warm in the oven when Diane appeared at my door. She was dressed for the Arctic in a black parka down to her knees with fur around the hood.
Stepping aside, I let her into the house where she shook off her coat and stamped her feet on the mat. The porch light illuminated the rain pouring down sideways with the wind. If the temperatures dropped a few degrees, we could get snow. Or ice.
“Where are your sled dogs?” I couldn’t help but tease her.
She blinked up at me and ran her other hand through her hair, tousling the waves before they fell around her shoulders. Shrugging off her big coat, I could see she wore that baggy gray sweater of hers and tight jeans showing off the curve of her thighs. Unfortunately, the ugly sweater covered her ass. Pity.
“Sled dogs?” she asked, leaning down to scratch Babe’s ears, who sniffed around her boots.
“Yeah, with your parka I thought you might have sled dogs.” My joke fell flat.
“Oh, no. No sled dogs. That’s my city winter jacket. It gets much colder back east, and in the city you walk everywhere, you need the big coat,” she said, explaining what didn’t need explaining. Awkward silence settled between us.
“Pizza’s in the oven. Hot Hawaiian like we decided,” I said, filling the space.
“I brought wine.” Her voice rose as if this could be the salvation we needed. She pulled a bottle of red out of the pocket of her coat from where I hung it on the hooks by the door. “I had no idea what you liked or if you even like wine. I bought a Pinot Noir. Figured everyone likes that. Do you drink wine? Should I have brought beer?”
Her nervousness was charming, but I wasn’t sure what it meant.
“Pinot’s fine. Three things we do well up here in the land of gray are: coffee, beer, and wine. All necessary supplies to get through a long winter.”
“I like that list. What about chocolate? Man, or woman, has to eat.”
“Yes, the fourth category for survival is chocolate. Maybe following fish.”
I walked into the L-shaped kitchen to grab a couple of wine glasses. She pulled up a bar stool at the counter and surveyed the space.
“I like your house. It’s, um …” She paused, clearly searching for the right word. “… Masculine.”
I chuckled in response. Masculine was a good way to describe my cabin. I’d taken it over from my aunt and uncle who still lived on the island but built a larger home in the woods. I tried to observe the room from her point of view. Knotty pine walls, fishing photos, and a mounted king salmon above the couch my grandfather caught definitely gave the room a “masculine” feel. The furniture wasn’t fancy, or as Kelly said “current,” but it was sturdy and more importantly, comfortable. My aunt had sewn denim covers for the sofa facing the flat screen over the fireplace. A pair of leather chairs flanked the sofa and my collection of old soccer trophies along with old photos lined some shelves.
“Well, I’m a man and I live here alone, so masculine works for me.” I watched her nod while taking in the details of the room.
“I like it. It’s cozy.” She gave me a genuine smile, her first of the night.
“Cozy it is. Ready to eat, or do you want to hang out a while?”
“Let’s eat. I’m starved. Can I help?”
“Nope. I can manage the pizza. As you probably noted, I don’t have a dining table. It’s eat here at the bar or on the coffee table. Up to you.”
Her eyes crinkled and she seemed delighted by the idea of sitting around the coffee table. “Coffee table. My ex wouldn’t approve and it feels rebellious. Do you mind?”
“Wow, he sounds like a fun guy.”
“You don’t even want to know. Definitely a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Or in his case, a suit.”
I grabbed the pizza box and plates, and asked her to bring over the wine and glasses. She settled in on the sofa and I took one of the leather chairs. I had a fire going in the small fireplace and it gave the room a warm glow. Diane was right about the cozy.
“I can’t believe I found another person who loves jalapeño and pineapple together. Lauren, my best friend, hated it.”
“This Lauren clearly doesn’t know what she’s missing. New York friend?”
“Best friend from college. She’s a teacher. Our lifestyles were so different when I was married, but after the divorce she was the one person I could count on. I miss her.”
“Sounds like a great friend, other than the whole bad taste in food part. How did you and the wolf meet? If you don’t mind me asking.” Curious about her past, and since we were neighbors, getting to know her felt like the thing to do.
“Do you really want to know the whole sorry tale?”
“Sure.”
“If I tell you mine, will you tell me yours?”
“My what?” I asked. “Sorry tale? I have a long list of them. You’d be bored or go running for the hills with all my woes.”
“I doubt that. You seem like a nice guy.” She meant it. What she didn’t know was I was a wolf in flannel.
“I can be a nice guy. Very nice. But I can also be an asshole,” I admitted.
Her eyes wandered my face, searching for something. “Okay, so the brief history is I married right out of college. Whirlwind romance. Wealthy, ambitious, good looking—the whole family was like the Kennedys. Only they summered in the Hamptons and not Hyannis.”
She said these places as if I knew what they meant.
“It was a fairy tale. After the perfect wedding, life fell into place. I quit my entry level PR job and became ‘the wife’.” She frowned and picked a pepper off of her slice of pizza. “Being ‘the wife’ was a full time job of making sure everything about us and our homes were perfectly presentable to the outside world.”
“I’m going out on a limb here and guessing things weren’t so perfect with Mr. Perfect.”
“At first, yes. Then his career took over.”
“What does Mr. Perfect do?”
“Hedge fund. Big money. Taking money from the wealthy and making more money for the wealthy. Our lives became about money. How much we had, if we had more than so-and-so. We weren’t keeping up with the Joneses, we were the Joneses. And what was once perfect began to feel like a brilliant trap.”
My mouthful of pizza, I gestured for her to continue.
“Turned out money and things weren’t his only acquisitions. My husband also had the reputation for collecting girlfriends.”
“Ouch,” I mumbled with my mouth full. Swallowing some wine, I found my voice. “He sounds like a tool.” I wanted to call him an asshole, but refrained.
“Tool is too nice. Long story short, I caught him in flagrante delicto and the fidelity clause in our pre-nup kicked in. The affairs and even the divorce were kept hush-hush because of his family’s reputation. His parents strongly suggested I take an extended vacation while the final proceedings and settlement are ironed out.”
“What year is this? I swear you are talking about some 1950s bullshit, pardon my language, about controlling parents and making the problem literally disappear.” The part about controlling parents reminded me of Kelly’s mother and her own meddling in my life.
“At least they didn’t ship me off to Reno for a quickie divorce like the fifties.” Laughing, she hid her mouth behind her napkin. “Sorry, I’m talking with my mouth full.”
“No problem. As long as you don’t choke. No fancy rules in this house. That’s it? You’ve been banned to an island? For how long?”
“I wasn’t banned. Honestly. I could have spent the winter out in the Hamptons. Instead, I told the whole fiasco to Quinn over lunch and he offered Maggie’s cabin. Isolated on a beach in a place where no one knew me as Mrs. Woodley sounded like heaven. In reality, it’s a cold, dark, wet heaven.”
“I’ve never been to the Hamptons, so I can’t give you an honest comparison, but Whidbey is heaven on earth. You chose to move here during the challenging months. Wait until summer.”
“I’d love to see the summer here, but I only have the cabin until May. Then who knows where I’ll go. Maybe back to New York, start over. Or someplace new.”
“Did you grow up in New York?” I asked.
“Not the city. I’m from Upstate, which basically means the rest of the state except Long Island. Small town. Dad was an accountant, Mom ran the PTA, and my two older brothers were track stars.”
“Sounds idyllic. Your folks still alive?”
“They are. Happily retired in Florida—my second option for a hideout.”
“You had the option to be in Florida where it’s warm and sunny, but you chose here? Are you crazy?” The incredulousness obvious in my voice.
Sipping her wine, she stared at the fire crackling and hissing. “Moving in with my parents would feel like utter failure. They invited me, but I’m not sure it was heartfelt. Having their thirty-year-old divorced daughter sleeping in the guest room would be difficult on all of us. I believe the saying ‘You can never go home’ and so do they.”
“I can’t imagine living with my parents.” I shook my head at being trapped in Arizona, driving a golf cart around a neighborhood in a planned golf community.
“We agree about that. We have our first thing in common.” She raised her glass in a toast.
“Actually, that’s about the third thing we have in common. First, jalapeños on pizza. Second, we both like Pinot.”
“Are you keeping a list?” A soft smile formed on her lips.
“I wasn’t, but I am now.” I raised my own glass to clink with hers. “To things in common.”
“To things in common,” she echoed.
“Are you looking for a job? Not to pry into your financials, but do you need a job?”
“I’m okay financially. I’d love to get a job, but have no idea what’s out there. Working again would be another nail in the coffin of my old life.”
“What do you want to do? Or what can you do?”
“Ah, therein lies the rub. I don’t know. It’s been so long since I’ve worked, I’m out of practice. I can join a committee, plan a fundraiser, host a party, but not sure if any of those things will get me a job on the island.”
“Think about it and let me know. I know a lot of people. Figure out what you want to do and I’ll get the word out.”
“Thank you. Now, I’ve told you the horrible story of the demise of my perfect marriage, your turn.” She turned the tables on me.
What could I share with her? I wasn’t going to spew my life disappointments at her. We might have a few things in common, but I wasn’t ready to go deep tonight.
“I’ve never married, so no ex-wives lurking around.”
“I’ve seen a brunette around here. Who’s she?”
Ah, who was Kelly? The easy and partially true answer would be my girlfriend. Or would have been a few weeks ago, pre-dinner revelations. How do I define her?
“The brunette is Kelly. Someone I’ve been dating.”
“Girlfriend?” she asked, apparently unashamed she might be prying.
“Not really. Things are complicated.”
“Complicated how?”
“Like you, she’s getting a divorce. Or was. Maybe still is. Pretty sure she still is.” My words tumbled out in a mess of uncertainty. Fuck, I sounded like a pussy.
“You don’t know if she is or isn’t getting a divorce?”
I took a deep breath and stretched my neck, rolling it from side to side before running my hand over the scruff of my beard.
“That about sums it up. We ran into each other again last summer. At that point, she was legally separated and it was only a matter of time. Then a few weeks ago I hear from her mother of all people she and the husband are still talking. Like I said, complicated.”
“Sounds messed up. Are you in love with her?”
Am I in love with Kelly?
“Look, I don’t mean to pry, but since I already am, I might as well give you some unsolicited advice.”
I couldn’t help but snort at her offer of advice, but waited for her to continue.
“Yeah, I’m the last person who should be giving anyone relationship advice. If you don’t know if you’re in love, then you probably aren’t. Marriages and divorces are complicated, and not something you want to be the third leg to.”
I listened to her words, knowing she said them from a place of kindness. “Tell me about it. Right now I’m in a holding pattern.”
“She’s a fool if she tosses you aside, but love makes fools of the best of us.” She reached out and gently touched my forearm. “I’ve sworn off the L word for now.”
“L word?”
“Love. For the time being I want uncomplicated, straightforward interactions. Nothing romantic. Nothing serious. No promises of fairy tales or happily-ever-afters.”
“Sounds like a smart choice. I don’t normally do the whole relationship thing. Kelly was the first for me in a while. Probably because of my stupid high school crush on her.”
“Ah, I wondered when you said you ran into her again. So she’s the one who got away?”
“Hardly. She was the one who never paid me any attention in school. I played soccer with her brother and I don’t think she ever looked in my direction twice.”
“Like I said before, she’s a fool. Who wouldn’t look at you twice?” Her words had a flirty edge to them I didn’t miss.
“I was a long, lanky guy who was more obsessed with soccer than girls. I didn’t fill out until college.”
“You definitely filled out.” Her eyes widened and her hand covered her mouth. “Did I say that out loud?”
“You did.” I watched as her cheeks turned crimson.
“No more wine for me. I’ve lost my filter. First, I’m giving you love advice when I don’t even know you. Now I’m ogling you out loud. Clearly I’m not fit for human company these days. Maybe I should get myself a dog.”
Her squirming and clear embarrassment made me want to laugh or hug her. I did neither.
“I should head home before I completely embarrass myself.”
“You’re cute when you’re embarrassed. Your cheeks turn bright red.”
“Please, can we blame that on the wine?” Her blush deepened.
“Honestly, I’ve enjoyed spending time with you tonight. We should hang out more often. You’ve probably figured out it’s pretty quiet down here on the beach in the winter. It’s nice to have the company.”
“You’re too nice. I’m going to hide now.” She wrapped her cardigan around herself like armor.
“I’m not that nice.”
“You are. You saved me from the closed flue, you helped me buy a car, and presently you’re overlooking my foot-in-mouth syndrome. All nice things.”
“If you say so. Give yourself time to get to know me before you make that decision. Bachelor for a reason.”
“I have no problem with that. I’ve sworn off relationships and you’re in a “it’s complicated” situation. Only thing for us to do is be friends. I could use a friend on the island.”
Friends sounded good. Diane fit the mold of one of the summer wives who arrived every Memorial Day, but there was something else about her. Something deeper and maybe wounded tugged at me to be her friend.
“Friends it is.”
“Let’s shake on it.” She stuck out her hand and I shook it.
“We don’t have to spit swear or anything like that, do we?” I asked.
“I thought maybe a blood pact. I’m sure you have a knife around here somewhere in this manly house.”
“You aren’t serious?” She couldn’t be serious.
“The expression on your face right now. No, no sharing of bodily fluids as friends. Spit, blood, or other fluids.” With a resolution to her voice, she nodded and shook my hand again since I still held hers.
“Good on the no knives. I don’t like human blood.”
“Are you telling me you aren’t a vampire so I’ll invite you into my house, and then you’ll actually be a vampire and kill me?”
This time I didn’t hold back my laughter. “Your mind works in wild ways,” I said after the laughter died down.
“You didn’t answer the question. Are you a vampire?”
I started to answer no when two things happened simultaneously: the power went out and Diane screamed.