TALKING ABOUT MY mom put an end to “Truth and Pyramids” for a while. Diane tried to stop frowning when she regarded me, but she often failed. Our visits became further apart. I told myself I wasn’t pulling away, but I knew I was lying to myself. There was something uncomfortable having my story voiced aloud that changed everything. I expected the pity and found it. And who wants to see that in someone’s eyes? Not me.
Storms passed and the skies would clear up for a day or two before another wall of gray clouds descended. Trees and earth began the long thaw into spring while each day grew a little less dark in the morning.
One Saturday toward the end of March, I stood at the window facing my deck, drinking my coffee while deciding what I’d do for the day. The clouds floated high over the Olympics and the weather guy said they’d clear by the afternoon. Could mean rain all day, but my guess was it would mist rather than pour.
A knock at the door and Diane waving at me through the glass broke me out of my thoughts. She wore jeans and the ugly cardigan. My eyes wandered to her face and I saw distress in her eyes.
After motioning her inside, I offered her coffee as a way of greeting.
“You want cream in it?”
“Milk’s fine. Sorry for barging over. I know we didn’t have plans, but I needed someone to talk to about this.” I noticed she held an envelope in her hand, crumpled from her grip.
“Whatcha got there?” I asked, handing her a cup.
“Letter from Kip.”
“Who’s Kip?” My brain wandered through the names of her friends and family I’d learned over the past few months. No Kip came to mind.
She stared at me with her mouth agape. Guess I should have known who Kip was. I shrugged.
“Kip! Kip Woodley? My ex-husband?” Her voice raised with each word until it reached a high-pitched level of incredulity.
Racking my memory for some story of her telling me her husband’s name, I still came up blank. “You know, I don’t think you ever told me his first name. We called him Mr. Not-so-Perfect or Woodley. You married a man named Kip?”
“Kenneth Pennington Woodley Junior, thank you. And I divorced a man named Kip.”
“Seriously? Could his name be more pretentious?”
“You’re not listening!” She took out her frustration by throwing the envelope on the counter.
“Okay, okay. Sorry, I was distracted by Kip. What’s up?” I backed away from her with my hands held up in case she turned completely feral, and attacked.
“I divorced him. Done. Finito. He’s agreed to the settlement.” She gestured to the crumpled paper.
“That’s a good thing, right? Being finished with it?”
“It should be. It is. Only Kip had to add a personal letter to me. Asshole.”
“And? What did it say?”
“I only read the first paragraph and headed over here.”
“Okay. Want me to read it?”
“No. Yes. No. Gah! He can’t have this hold on me anymore. He lost that right.” She turned and paced to the window and back. Babe watched her from his perch on the couch. Back and forth. Back and forth. On her third lap, I made the decision this wasn’t an event for coffee. We needed whiskey.
I poured some into her coffee. Maybe a finger or two’s worth. Maybe a little more.
“Thanks.” Sipping her coffee, Diane flopped on the couch next to Babe and petted his head.
“Right. Now we’re prepared, do you want to read his letter?”
“Not really. But I should. I think.”
“Up to you. You’re legally done with him. There are no ‘have-to’s’ in this situation. Should you? Maybe. Must? No.”
“Okay, I’ll read it. But not out loud. Is that okay?”
She was ridiculous, but who was I to push on emotional issues?
I handed her the envelope and she pulled out the letter— a single typed sheet. What asshole types a personal letter? Right. Her ex-husband. Asshole.
Her eyes scanned the letter quickly, then settled on the top of the page and moved slowly over the paper. I waited, sitting on the arm of one of the chairs next to the couch.
Finally, she scrunched up the paper and threw it across the room. Her aim indicated the fireplace, but she missed wide right. She drained the contents of her mug and held it out to me for a refill.
“Want me to bother with the coffee this time?” I asked, eyeing her before taking the cup.
“No. Don’t bother.”
Oh boy. Emotional women were not my thing. I added more coffee to my cup along with some whiskey before facing the potential emotional bomb on my couch.
Diane drained her cup in two big swallows and cringed. After wiping her mouth on the back of her hand with her eyes closed, she shook her head a few times when the whiskey burned down her throat.
I kept silent and waited.
A few minutes passed while she glowered at the crumbled paper sitting on the floor.
“He’s engaged.”
“He’s engaged.” I confirmed more than asked.
“To one of the girlfriends. Who was married when they ‘dated’. Dated. As if they were both single at the time. You can’t date when you’re married.”
“What an asshole.”
“That’s not the worst part.”
I braced myself when her eyelids turned pink with the coming tears. Fuck, there was going to be crying. Last time we hung out on this sofa there was crying. Clearly it was cursed and probably should be replaced. Or burned.
“What’s the worst part?” Getting up, I refilled her cup before returning with the bottle and setting it on the coffee table.
“They’re pregnant. He wanted me to hear it from him before someone else told me when she starts showing.”
“Wow.” I wasn’t sure what else to say.
“Pregnant! She’s pregnant! He always said he wanted to wait. Wait until we were thirty. Wait until we had the house in Greenwich in the best school district.” The tears broke the dam and spilled down her cheeks. She pulled down the sleeves of her cardigan and wiped at her eyes and nose. We could burn the sweater with the couch.
“I see you giving my sweater the stink eye, mister.”
I had to laugh. Falling apart on my couch, well on her way to drunk, and she was mad about my sweater hate. “Let me get you something so you don’t have to use your sleeves.”
I pulled out a bandana from the clean laundry basket down the hall.
“Here.” I handed it to her. “I wouldn’t want you to damage your security blanket, Linus.”
“You hate this sweater.” She sniffled and blew her nose into the bandana.
“I do hate it. I hate everything it stands for.”
“Comfort and warmth? Harsh.” Her tears still tracked down her cheeks, but talk of the sweater distracted her from Kip. Kip the asshole.
“Yes, I’m against comfort and warmth. Both are overrated. No. I hate it because you use it to hide. It’s a sign of sadness.”
She responded by wrapping it more tightly around herself the same way she did on her first visit here. Damn this cursed couch. Definitely going into a bonfire.
“I’m sorry. Here I am, once again sitting on your couch being an emotional girl.”
“Well, the girl part you can’t change. If I got a letter from an ex like that, I’d be upset, too. I’d probably punch something or split wood, but I get it. Did I tell you yet your ex is an asshole?”
She smiled, barely lifting the corners of her mouth. It didn’t light up her face, but was better than a frown. Or more tears. “You may have said it once. Or twice.”
“Good. I’ll keep saying it. He didn’t deserve you, but sounds like he deserves her. Marriage vows are sacred. You don’t walk out on them and fuck other people.”
“Like your dad.” She clamped her hand over her mouth. “Sorry,” she said into her palm.
Fuck.
She knew about my parents, of course she’d make the connection. I nodded. “My dad was an asshole, too.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t.”
“Sorry.”
“Stop saying sorry. I’m in the minority about my dad still being an asshole. My aunt thinks it’s wonderful he found someone to spend his life with rather than be alone. My brother even calls Joyce ‘Mom’.” I scowled. “But we’re talking about your asshole, not mine.”
Her laughter sounded genuine and loud. “I didn’t realize the conversation had turned to our anatomy.”
“We weren’t—” My own laughter joined hers.
“I think I’m feeling the whiskey.” She giggled.
“Listen, I’m sorry your ex is an asshole. But you’re done with him. He’s out of your life completely. You’re an entire continent away from him here.”
“You’re right. Fuck him and the entire eastern seaboard!” She raised her cup and gave a salute.
“There’s the spirit.” I leaned forward from my chair and clinked cups with her.
“We should do something to honor this day.”
“What did you have in mind?”
“I don’t know.” She flopped back into the cushions of the sofa. “Drink whiskey and then nap?”
“You’re on your way with the whiskey, but we need something more than napping.”
“Naps are the best.” To emphasize her point, she snuggled into the couch, curling around Babe who shifted to expose his belly to her.
“Not dissing naps, but you need something to blow the stink off from Kip.” I couldn’t say his name without frowning or laughing.
She pinched up her face and squinted at me through one eye. After she gazed out at the brightening sky, she nodded and said, “Okay. Stink blowing off first. Naps later. Let’s go see something I’ve never seen before.”
“What haven’t you seen before?”
“Lots of stuff.” Tapping her chin with the lip of her mug before continuing, she said, “I’ve never seen a banana slug. Or one of those gooey ducks.”
“I don’t think phallic creatures should be our focus today. You might want to kill one in a symbolic gesture.”
“True. Keep yours in your pants, just in case.”
My eyes widened. Was she talking about my cock?
“Let’s forget I said anything. Let’s never speak of it again. Ever.” She attempted to hide behind her mug.
“Okay, change of subject. How about we get in my truck and drive. We’ll figure out where we’re going when we get there.”
“Sounds like a plan.” With a final pat to Babe’s belly, she attempted to get off the couch and stumbled. I held out my hand and pulled her up to standing.
“I’m going to hug you, John, but wanted to warn you first. You don’t seem like the hugging type.” She wrapped her arms around me and buried her face in my shirt. I pulled her closer and crossed my arms behind her back.
“You’re going to be okay,” I whispered to the top of her head.
She nodded, then peered up at me. “We both are.”
We drove north up the island until we hit Oak Harbor. And then kept going.
“What about Deception Pass?” I asked after we figured out we’d explored most of the island already.
“Deception Past?” she asked, her brows furrowing. “What a weird name for a place, but all sorts of appropriate for today.”
“Pass, not past.” I laughed at her switching of words and how she was right about it being the perfect place.
“Deception Pass? Haven’t gone there.”
“Then that’s where we’re going.” We drove past the air base and up ahead I spied a small shingled building on the side of the road. After pulling over and stopping, I told her to wait in the truck.
Inside, I bought a selection of smoked fish and snacks. Because of the whiskey this morning, I figured Diane needed something in her stomach. The sky had cleared, and while it wasn’t balmy, it was warm enough for a picnic and a short hike.
I carried the sack of food back to the truck. Babe wagged his tail in Diane’s face when he greeted me from his spot in the middle.
“Ack! Dog butt!” she screeched, swatting at his tail.
“Babe, sit,” I said and he did.
“What did you get in there?”
“Food for a picnic.”
“You’re the best. Next stop, Deceptions Past!”
Her deliberate word play and arms waving caused me to chuckle again. If her humor returned, there was hope her sadness would pass and we could resume normalcy.
During the rest of the drive, I explained how the narrow body of water earned the name when early explorers mistook it for an inlet rather than the tip of the island. The single span bridge we drove over was breathtaking for the view and the long drop down to the churning water below.
Once on Fidalgo Island, I took a left leading down to a parking lot and narrow beach. We were close, but hadn’t arrived at our final destination. I parked and loaded up my backpack with everything we needed.
“What’s wrong with the picnic tables?” Diane asked, pointing to the flat lawn with park regulation grills and picnic tables beyond the smooth sand and calm water of the bay.
“We’re going someplace better.”
“Will we be sitting on the ground?” She gazed longingly at the tables and benches.
“We will. On a blanket.” I patted my backpack, then swung it over my shoulder. “Like a proper picnic. Come on,” I said, before wandering toward the pier and the trailhead off to the left.
Babe ran ahead down the beach and into the trees. Following behind, we left the beach for the shadows of the woods and the smell of old growth Douglas firs. Behind me, I could hear Diane inhale and exhale, then sigh.
“Smell good?” I asked.
“Smells like you. This is you.”
I inhaled the scent of sea, pine, and earth. Not a bad smell to be compared to, but internally I still rolled my eyes at her.
“Come on, sniffy. Quit huffing the woods.”
“It’s either the woods or you.”
Her words caused me to turn. Was she flirting or only being silly? Her face confirmed nothing.
“You only have to ask. Happy to share my pheromones with you.”
“Good to know, Day. Good to know. Where are you taking me?”
“You’ll see. Tide’s out so we should have no problem getting there.” The path led us along a salt marsh, the grasses still golden and dry with winter. A bend brought the trail back into the woods before we found ourselves in the sunlight again.
I pointed to a short trail splitting off to the left, across a narrow spit of sand, and up a rocky incline. “We’re headed up there.”
Diane raised an eyebrow. “Short hike is one thing, straight up rock climbing is another.”
“Come on, it’s worth it. I can either give you a push from behind or pull you up. You decide.”
Her face scrunched up while she weighed her options. “Pull.”
I scrambled up the rocks and turned to offer her my hand. Her hand felt warm and I didn’t let go once she found her footing at the top. Instead, I led her up and over the top of the small island, which revealed itself to be more of an outcropping of meadow covered rock crested with a small stand of trees. Below the rocky cliff, dark, slate blue water swirled in eddies, creating circles on the surface demonstrating the ruthless current.
She smiled and stared at the view of the arched bridge span and water.
“Worth it?”
“Definitely worth it. It’s our own private island.”
“I’m glad you like it. Let’s eat.”
Babe trotted down the hill and joined us. His fur dripping water and dirty from his explorations. Rather than plopping down, he shook and sprayed us with bits of sand and droplets of water.
“Ugh!” Diane turned her body to escape.
“Sorry about that. Sometimes I swear he does it on purpose.” I attempted to shield her from the spray with my body.
Babe gave a self-satisfied ‘humph’ and flopped down in the dead grass.
From my backpack I pulled out the bag of food and a blanket.
Once we settled on the blanket, I opened the various spreads and smoked fish along with some crackers and two containers of chowder.
“Good thing I like fish,” she said, smelling the steam from her cup of soup.
My mouth dropped. It had never crossed my mind she wouldn’t like fish.
“How could you not like fish?”
“A lot of people don’t like seafood. Or clams. Some people have allergies.”
I stared at her in horror. “Bite your tongue.”
“It’s true. Or don’t eat shellfish for religious reasons.”
“Fishing is my religion.”
“Is it?”
I nodded. “Think about it. Jesus was a fisherman. What more honest hobby or profession is there?”
She blew on her spoonful of chowder. After swallowing a bite, she said, “I’m converting to your religion. This is amazing.”
“To convert, you have to go fishing with me.”
“What does that entail?”
“Sitting around in a boat mostly. And getting up early. Being cold. Sometimes being wet. It’s not glamorous.”
“Is it gross?”
“Gross?” I asked.
“Smelly. Fishy. Baity.”
“Baity? That isn’t even a word. Guess it depends on the bait. But not gross. I’d even bait your hook for you ‘cause I’m a nice guy that way.”
“Chivalry isn’t dead!” She held her cup and spoon over her heart and blinked her eyes at me.
“If hook baiting is your idea of chivalry, you need to meet some better men.” From the slump of her shoulders, I immediately knew I’d said the wrong thing and brought her mind back to the letter. Fuck. “Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean—”
She cut me off before I could continue. “No, please don’t apologize. I do need better men in my life.”
“Well, I’m here. And I’ll bait your hooks, so that’s a good sign.”
“And you buy me fishy foods for lunch. Delicious, fishy foods.”
Something about her caused me to feel like a good guy because I bought her something as simple as smoked salmon pâté. Silly, but after feeling like I continually disappointed Kelly with my “island guy” lifestyle, it felt nice to be appreciated.
“We’ll go fishing.”
“We will. Jesus, you, and me. Fisherman all.” She nodded.
“Not sure my boat is big enough for the three of us.”
“It’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean.” Her giggles showed she was still loose from the earlier whiskey.
“Wait, you did not just say that. Right after talking about Jesus?”
“What?” She played innocent. “I was talking about boats. You said you had a small boat.”
“My boat is just the right size and gets the job done.”
Her eyes wandered up and down my frame before settling back on my face. “I’ve no doubt. When will I get to see this boat?”
“We’re still talking about fishing, right?”
“Of course.”
I didn’t believe her.
She set down her food and stretched out on the blanket. I played with a piece of grass as I rested my elbows on my knees and looked down at her. With her eyes closed and her hair loose from her ponytail, her typical guarded sadness disappeared. Left was her natural beauty, the softness of her cheeks, dark lashes against light skin, rose-colored lips parted and welcoming. She should be kissed. Kissed thoroughly.
Our brief kiss from Port Townsend flashed through my memory. I hadn’t given her an opportunity to respond. As strong as the urge was to give her another opportunity, I hesitated. Today wasn’t the day.
Dark eyes met mine. I’d been caught staring.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked, shielding her eyes from the sun to look at me.
“Nothing.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I’m sure.”
A cloud passed between us and the sun, dropping the temperature. More clouds gathered on the horizon and the breeze strengthened, bringing with it the smell of coming rain.
“We’d better head back. Rain’s coming in.” I stood up and pointed to the gray clouds west over the water.
“At least we had a little time in the sun. Thank you.”
“For the picnic? Sure.”
“For everything. For letting me be a girl and cry, for giving me the whiskey like a man, and for bringing me someplace new and perfect. There couldn’t have been a better place to be today than Deception Past. Or better company. So thank you.” After she stood up less than a foot separated us before she hugged me.
“You’re welcome,” I said into her hair.
“Two hugs in one day, you’re turning into a hugger, Day.”
“Don’t tell anyone. I have a big, mean gruff guy reputation to protect,” I grumbled, but hid my smile by ducking my face beside her head.
“I won’t. It’ll be our secret.”
The windshield wipers beat a soothing rhythm while we drove back down the island that afternoon. Something shifted between us that day at the bridge. Our worst secrets and the ugliest of our pasts laid exposed, but those truths didn’t make me want to run or shut down. Instead, they drew us closer. Wrapped in a comfortable silence in the cab of the truck, warm and dry, it felt like the three of us were a team.