Travis
I was so screwed.
I probably would have stood more of a chance if I hadn’t been lusting after her all these years, but she was the girl I could never have. Becky Miller, the younger sister of one of my best friends.
She was nothing like the other girls I knew. She didn’t want me for my money, or my fame. She wanted me because she knew who I was beyond the fame. She wanted me because she trusted me enough not to screw it up.
But I didn’t trust myself.
I knew very little about Becky’s past. I knew that she was a single mom, and that the biological father of her son wasn’t involved. She needed someone who could handle that, and I wasn’t overly confident I could.
But that didn’t change the fact that ever since she put the bug in my ear, I had a massive hard on for her. Maybe not literally the whole time, but any time I let myself truly imagine sinking into her, which was more often than I cared to admit.
More than anything, I wanted to ease the ache in her blue eyes. I wanted to bring a smile to her lips, like I’d done the night before. I wanted to comfort her.
Becky was drifting from group to group, trying to thank as many people as she could for being there. I waited until she was relatively alone to approach her.
“Can we talk for a moment?” I pleaded, nodding toward the hall that led to the bathrooms and the emergency exit. Becky eyed me warily and nodded. She led the way with her arms crossed over her chest, subconsciously shielding herself. She made sure to keep her distance from me until we’d stepped outside into the back alley behind O’Riley’s and the hardware store.
“What do you want?” she asked, her voice guarded, a stark contrast to how open and trusting she’d been with me last night.
“I wanted to check in with you, make sure you were okay.”
“I’m fine.” Becky couldn’t hold my gaze. Her shoulders slumped in defeat.
I stepped closer to her, pulling her toward me so that I could hug her. “It’s okay to not be fine, you know that right? You don’t have to keep it together all the time.”
It didn’t seem fair that Becky had nobody to hold her while she grieved. I could at least do that, even if I couldn’t give her what she really needed.
But she felt so good in my arms. Her scent was intoxicating, like peaches and honey. She smelled good enough to eat, and I couldn’t help but wonder what she tasted like.
“I know that,” she replied, her voice muffled against my chest. Her hands hung limply at her sides for a moment, and then she brought them up to wrap them around my waist, hugging me back. I rested my chin on the top of her head and inhaled.
Becky lifted her face, studying me while I tilted my head so that I could look down at her. Her blue eyes were full of hurt. She swallowed hard. “Why are you being so nice to me?”
“Haven’t I always been nice to you?” I asked her, surprised.
“Not like this,” she pointed out. It was true—we’d never touched like this before, and we probably wouldn’t be touching today if she hadn’t asked me for a one-night stand the night before. She needed physical comfort, she’d all but said as much. I couldn’t deny how amazing it felt to have her in my arms, and the appealing thought of spreading her legs had consumed me since the moment she asked me.
I had to back away before she felt the effect she had on me. I ran my hands through my hair, tugging at the roots, and dragged in a ragged breath. I started to pace, restless with just standing there.
“I feel like this is a big thing, you coming to me like you did last night, and I’m sorry if I made you feel like I didn’t want you, because honestly… that’s not it. You’re gorgeous, Becs, and I want you…badly. But you’re my best friend’s little sister, and you can play things off as much as you like, but you’ve been hurt…badly. I can’t promise you the commitment you deserve. I travel a lot, and I like to have fun,” I winced, realizing how crass that sounded, but it was true…and Becky deserved my honesty.
With my grand speech over, I stopped pacing and looked at her, trying to gauge her reaction to my words. I couldn’t bear the idea of hurting her, but I had to make her understand. She didn’t seem put off by my honesty, she looked at me earnestly.
“I’m not looking for commitment. I don’t need those things. We’ve been fine on our own and we’ll continue to be fine. I just…I need…“ Becky broke off, her eyes misting. She inhaled sharply, her eyes finally landing on mine again. “I need to feel desired, Travis. That’s all.”
I stepped up to her, unable to stop myself. Her broken confession sliced into my resolve. Becky was too gorgeous to feel undesirable, and I knew I could make her feel that at least. I looked around, making sure the coast was clear before my hands gently went to her hips and I pulled her against me.
“Do you feel that?” I murmured, my eyes never leaving hers. She drew in a sharp breath, swallowing hard and nodding as I pressed my hard length against her. Even just talking about this in an abstract way with her had me throbbing. “You are desired. Don’t ever doubt that. Any guy would be lucky to have you.”
“Just one night, Travis,” she pleaded, her eyes wide. “Then we can go back to just being acquaintances, almost friends.”
“What if you want more afterwards?” I suggested, waggling my eyebrows at her. I may have been playing it off with humour, but I wasn’t exactly willing to face the consequences.
Like Brock’s fist against my jaw, for example.
I had only just reconnected with him, and I didn’t want to screw things up now that he was back. He’d been gone for four years, and we’d barely spoken. After his arrest, he stopped talking to everyone. It stung, but I was beginning to understand his reasons.
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Maybe we won’t even like each other afterwards,” she countered, her lips twitching to repress a bemused smile.
“Oh, I doubt that very much,” I murmured, arousal making my throat feel thick. Her chest rose and fell with each frantic breath she dragged in. Her nipples pressed against the thin material of her dress. Almost like my hand had a mind of its own, it moved to cup her breast over her dress. My thumb brushed across her nipple, and she let out a tiny gasp.
She looked so responsive, I couldn’t help but lower my mouth to hers. Her lips were soft and seemed to fit mine perfectly. I kissed her slowly at first, then deepened it when she moaned and parted her lips. My tongue darted out, finding hers and beginning an erotic dance.
My hips pressed her against the brick wall, and I felt like I could spend hours just kissing her. Her hands came up to my chest, her fingers gripping the material of my shirt. Then she pushed on me, breaking our contact.
“Not here,” she whispered, flushed. Her eyes lingered on my lips for a moment before she rose them to meet my eyes. “I can meet you tomorrow night.”
“Where?”
She bit down on her lip. “The motel off of Bowes Street?”
I stepped back, rubbing my chin while I studied her. It seemed cheap, and Becky didn’t deserve cheap. I understood why she didn’t want to meet up at her place, and I couldn’t very well invite her back to mine. My mom lived there, and that didn’t exactly set the mood either.
I got the impression Becky needed to be in control of this, so I’d let her set the pace.
“Okay,” I told her, swallowing hard.
“You don’t have my number,” she reminded me.
“So give it to me,” I grinned. I pulled my phone out of the pocket of my jeans and added her number in. I typed out a text and hit send so she’d know my number too. I wasn’t worried at all about her leaking it, and that was refreshing. Usually, I avoided giving women my number. I’d unfortunately had to change it monthly for the past couple of years due to security issues.
“I need to get back,” Becky said, stepping even further away from me and heading inside. I adjusted myself, shaking my head. As soon as she disappeared, the doubt set in.
What in the hell did I just agree to?
* * *
The next day, just after ten o’clock at night, I walked up the concrete steps of the motel. I wore a baseball cap low on my forehead and a brown leather jacket to protect my identity. The less people saw of my face and the full sleeve tattoo on my left arm, the more successful I was at going undetected. It didn’t always work, but it was my best shot at anonymity.
My eyes scanned the door numbers, and I moved toward 202 with my heart pounding in my chest.
When we had made the plan to meet up, I was all for it; I couldn’t wait to sink into her. But then I had spent the last twenty-four hours torturing myself with all of the reasons why it was a bad idea, and it really didn’t take much.
A few memories from high school had done the trick. Becky shared those hallways with me—with us—for two years. Brock, Gordon, Grady, Steve, and I used to intimidate any guy stupid enough to look in her direction. Brock wanted to make sure that whoever asked Becky out knew they had to go through us if they hurt her. Nobody was up for the challenge.
I didn’t want anybody to touch her, but it hadn’t started out like that. At first, it was just fun. I didn’t have any siblings, and watching my best friends with theirs made me feel envious of that fact. I told myself I was protecting her on Brock’s behalf.
I had to acknowledge the fact that maybe I had ended up using my status as Brock’s best friend to stake a claim, in a quiet way.
I guess I thought of her as mine, even though I kept my distance from her. She’d always been beautiful, and I didn’t think I could hide my attraction to her. Brock would have kicked my ass if he caught on. We had a bro code—sisters were off limits. That meant both Tessa Armstrong and Becky Miller were no touch zones.
It was easier to abide by those rules with Tessa, obviously. She was six years younger than us and when I knew her, she was a lanky freckle faced kid. Becky fell under my radar because of those two short years we attended the same high school.
When I was in grade twelve, I went to semi-formal with one of the hot, popular girls at school. Her name was Kristen Base, and I used to joke about how I was gonna hit all her bases, if you know what I mean.
I drew in a breath, letting the memory wash over me.
I’d basically spent the first half of the dance making out with Kristen and trying to cop a feel through her satin dress. I didn’t even clue in that Becky had gone to semi-formal until I saw her taking shots with Greg Brimstone. It wasn’t really an activity I had ever thought I’d catch her doing, lest of all in the gymnasium of our high school.
I’d known Greg for years, and he always came across as a self-entitled asswipe. He came from money and loved to wave that fact around in everybody’s face—especially mine. Ever since grade school, he’d show up with some crazy expensive device and drone on and on about it before making comments about how it must suck being trailer trash.
It didn’t sit well with me that he’d chosen to take Becky as his date, so I watched them.
Losing all interest in my date entirely, I debated on what I should do. I didn’t want to ruin her night, but I also didn’t trust the way Greg and his friends were openly leering at her. The shots kept coming, and Becky started dancing with him.
I hated him, and I hated the fact that his hands were on her. I hated that he was basically pouring hard liquor down Becky’s throat, high fiving his friend whenever she wasn’t looking. I knew Becky hadn’t had much experience drinking—Brock made damn sure of it, but he avoided functions like this and she knew that.
I dragged Kristen out onto the dance floor so I could keep a closer eye on things and not have to talk to her anymore. We were a few feet away from Greg and Becky as they danced. His hands gripped her ass as he pulled her against him.
Rage like I’d never seen before made my vision waver as he whispered something in Becky’s ear. She blushed and nodded slowly, and they started to make their way toward the doors that led outside. She was stumbling, and his arm was around her as he guided her through the bodies on the floor.
I pulled away from Kristen and stepped in front of them, blocking their path. Becky swayed against Greg, her eyes diluted and unfocused. “Where you going, Brimsnot?” I demanded, my tone ice.
“It’s Brimstone,” Greg scowled. “And none of your business.”
“See, that’s where you’re wrong,” I said, stepping toward him with a playful grin on my face that did little to hide my rage toward him. “It’s definitely my business, because you’re with my buddy’s little sister. I know that if he were here, he wouldn’t let you leave with her.”
“Well he isn’t here,” Greg retorted, standing tall. He was still a little pipsqueak. The top of his head barely came up to my chin.
“No,” I responded, rolling my neck and cracking my knuckles. “But I am. You’ve fed her so much alcohol that she can barely fucking stand. She’s not going anywhere with you.”
Gordon was there too, with his girlfriend at the time Melanie Clayton. He ditched her the same way I’d ditched Kristen when he noticed the altercation happening on the dance floor. Steve and Grady, also in attendance, joined us as well, the four of us standing as a united front.
“Whatever, she’s not worth it,” Greg the coward muttered, releasing Becky and pushing through us.
Becky’s eyes filled with unshed tears and she swayed, off balance without him there for support. The broken, hollow look in her blue eyes called to me. Gordon stepped forward and caught her before she could fall. Her face was red with shame and hurt. “Get her home,” I said to Gordon before taking off after him.
Greg Brimstone deserved more than the black eye I had given him when I caught up with him in the school parking lot. Even now, my fists clenched in repressed anger. It still pissed me off that he’d said those things, that he had made her feel worthless.
I slowed when I passed room 200, knowing hers was next. I swallowed, my heart pounding in anticipation. A moment of hesitation had me stopping between the two red doors as I seriously contemplated what I was about to do.
My hesitation came from a place of not wanting her to feel worthless. I knew that no matter what I said, Becky would find someone to do this with. I knew that she needed it, and I even understood why. That fact alone had me moving again, and two large steps later, I raised my hand and knocked twice.
Becky opened the door in a white silk robe that ended just above her knees and did little to conceal how very naked she was beneath it. Her dark hair hung heavy and wet over her shoulder, and I could see beads of water on her collarbone from her recent shower.
The air around us seemed to dissipate, or maybe I was having a heart attack. Something was seizing within me.
Enchanted, I walked into the room, my feet moving on their own accord, my eyes unwilling to part from the sight of her in that robe. My hands twitched as my eyes dropped down to her creamy legs. I was hard in two seconds, if that.
“I already had this robe,” she blurted out, and a bemused smile broke out on my face. She flushed, clearly flustered, and I chuckled at her nervousness. “I just meant I wasn’t trying to impress you. I worked tonight and I wanted to shower, I just didn’t want to use the hotel robes. Who knows how often they wash them?” She shrugged, closing the door when I had cleared it.
“That’s both deeply disturbing and amusing.” I arched a brow, the corner of my lips twitching up.
“I watched a documentary on hotels once,” she said, giving me a small smile.
The hotel room wasn’t very large, there was enough space for a queen sized bed, two bedside tables, and a dresser with a television on it. “Guess that explains the comforter on the floor?”
She nodded in response, chewing on her bottom lip nervously.
I stepped toward her, stopping so that her breasts were just inches away from me. I brought my thumb up and tenderly brushed it across her bottom lip. “You don’t need to be nervous,” I told her. “It’s not too late to put the brakes on this.”
“I don’t want to put the brakes on this,” she murmured. I had to swallow back my own wave of nervousness, and it unsettled me. Random hook ups, no strings attached—that was my deal. She knew it, I knew it, but this felt different and I didn’t want to think about why.
A shiver rolled through Becky’s shoulders as she peered up at me, her eyes were locked on mine. I knew there was no turning back.
I kissed her, my lips tasting hers tentatively, like I was afraid she would bolt. I was almost expecting it, but she surprised me by returning with fervid kisses of her own. I picked her up and pressed her against the door, grinding my pelvis into her.
The silk tie of her robe came undone. I paused, my cock throbbing at the sight of her supple breast. I lowered my head to catch her nipple in my mouth and she arched her back, letting out a sound caught between a whimper and a moan.
And I was a goner.