Of all the mistakes she’d made in her twenty-nine years, Abigail hoped her decision to move back to Glenwood Falls wouldn’t be the biggest one.
The silent treatment she’d received from her daughter on the exhausting fifteen-hour drive from California to Colorado made her think that maybe it was.
She waved to Dani from the sidewalk as the school bus pulled away from the curb, but her nine-year-old ignored her.
Great.
As the bus rounded the corner, Abigail pulled her cardigan tighter around her and turned to walk back toward her family home. The mid-September mountain breeze felt even cooler to her, having spent so many fall seasons living in sunny Los Angeles, where the palm trees and green grass never gave way to the gold and red leaves crunching beneath her feet as she walked.
The wind blew her long blonde hair across her eyes, and she tucked it behind her ears. The sunshine reflected off of her solitaire diamond ring, nestled safely next to the platinum wedding band that used to hold a promise of forever.
She’d have to take them off soon. She probably should have already.
Dean’s wedding band had been sitting on the nightstand on his side of the bed for almost ten months.
Some people had an easier time letting go and moving on.
She took a deep breath as she opened the front door. The smell of coffee and blueberry pancakes greeted her, and she forced a smile, hoping it would dull the constant aching in her chest.
Time to face another day.
Another day in Glenwood Falls—her former hometown. Another day with her parents trying to make her feel better about her divorce. And another day she had to get through with a heaviness weighing on her whenever she thought about her future.
Hers and Dani’s.
Following the smell of coffee, she went straight to the kitchen.
“Good morning,” her father said, pouring her a cup.
“Hi, Dad,” she said, glancing around the kitchen that hadn’t changed in years. The same harvest gold fridge and stove that had been popular in the seventies and that her father miraculously managed to keep running, the round glass-topped table near the window that seated four, and the same butterfly-patterned curtains she’d sewn one year in home economics class—the only thing she’d ever successfully made. In ten years, nothing had changed, and she’d expected that sense of familiarity to make her feel better.
Instead it made her feel as though her attempt to move on with her life had taken her two steps backward.
“Dani got off to school okay?”
“Yes, although she still refuses to speak to me,” she said, sitting in her old familiar place at the table. She took a sip of the tar-like coffee and winced, but immediately took another one. She used to hate how strong her father made it, but the last three mornings, she’d needed the strength it provided to deal with Dani’s anger at her for moving them away from her father in L.A.
“She’ll come around,” he said.
Abigail knew it was true. She just hoped it was before her little girl started college.
On the table was that day’s Glenwood Times—the local newspaper. Picking it up, she opened it to the classified section as she had the day before.
Nothing new added. Still just three open positions in the town of five thousand residents—the deli counter at the supermarket, early morning flower delivery, and sawmill operator.
“Dad, how hard is it to operate a saw?” she asked with a sigh.
He chuckled. “Just the fact that you need to ask means you probably shouldn’t apply for that one, sweetheart.”
Her mother came into the kitchen and her expression said it all.
“Yes, Mom, I’m looking for a job,” Abigail said.
“I didn’t say anything.”
She didn’t have to. Isabelle Jansen’s face was the most expressive her daughter had ever seen. Every emotion, every thought could be conveyed by the small furrow of her brow or the twitch of an eye…
“I know you think I need time to get settled, but the sooner I can find work to keep myself busy, the easier that will be.”
“You know yourself better than anyone, sweetheart. I’m just saying there’s no hurry.”
“I appreciate that.” And Abigail did. After leaving Glenwood Falls, she’d only gone back to visit a few times, instead sending plane tickets to her parents to come visit her and Dani in L.A. Her decision to move home as her divorce was being finalized had surprised her parents, but they’d opened their door and arms to her and Dani. They were making this transition as easy on them as possible. And she knew how valuable their support was. She also knew she couldn’t use them as a crutch. She needed to get back on her feet and prove to herself this was the right decision, that she could move forward without Dean, as soon as possible. And Dani needed to see that, too.
Abigail hesitated, wondering if she should tell them about the one job in town she was interested in. She cleared her throat. “I was actually thinking about applying for a teaching position at the elementary school.”
Both of her parents stared at her.
“What? I do have a teaching degree.” She’d completed the degree after Dani started school, realizing she might someday want a career of her own.
“Yes, but…you’ve never actually used it,” her mother said.
“Don’t they expire?” her father joked.
“Very funny, Dad,” she said. “When I registered Dani on Monday, I heard one of the other teachers say they were looking for a substitute teacher that could turn into a full-time fourth grade position when Kelli Fitzgerald goes on maternity leave next month.”
“Oh, that’s right! I saw Kelli at last month’s town meeting—she looked ready to deliver then. She’s such a sweet girl, and her husband is one of the nicest men—he helped your dad with the deck last spring…” Her mom’s voice trailed on, but Abigail wasn’t listening.
Her mother raving about Kelli and other of her former high school friends was something she heard often. Apparently they were all living wonderful, successful lives in Glenwood Falls. None of them had fallen in love with a star athlete or left town six months pregnant…or had to crawl back home nine years later after a bitter divorce.
Nope, no one else. Just her.
Abigail’s cell phone ringing was her escape, and she was relieved to see her lawyer’s office number lighting up the screen. “I have to take this,” she said, heading upstairs to her old bedroom. “Hello?” she said, closing the door behind her.
“Hi, Abigail. How are you?” her lawyer, Olivia Davis, asked, sounding far too busy to really care.
“I’m fine. Everything okay?” The divorce was almost finalized after six months of back and forth with Dean’s lawyer. There were just a few things left to sign off on—her proposed custody arrangement and the financial settlement terms. She knew Olivia was fantastic at her job and she’d come highly recommended by several other divorcées she’d known as a hockey wife, but she still worried about whether she’d made the right decision hiring her. Deciding who to put her trust in these days was like deciding between the devil you knew and the devil you didn’t.
“Well, I have good news and bad news.”
Her marriage of nine years was almost officially over—she wasn’t sure there was any real good news to be had, but she asked for that first.
“I just received an uncontested document to the custody file,” Olivia said.
That actually was good news. She’d been worried Dean would try to fight for custody of Dani, even though she knew with his travel schedule with the L.A. Kings and her history of being their daughter’s primary caregiver, his chances of getting it in court would have been slim.
Maybe he knew that, too.
“That’s great…”
“Actually, he’s even stated that the visitation time is too much, and he is relinquishing all of the time to you.”
Abigail frowned. “What does that mean—he doesn’t want to see Dani at all?” she asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Hopefully that’s not the case. It just means he is leaving the power to decide when and how he sees Dani in your hands. The two of you can arrange something that works…without involving a legal, binding visitation schedule.”
Great. So, it would all rest on her shoulders. She would have preferred it didn’t. Her own feelings toward Dean were sure to cloud her judgment, and she knew she was going to have to put them aside and do what was best for Dani. “Okay,” she said. So much for good news. Now she really didn’t want the bad.
“So, the bad news is—he’s contesting the settlement. He is claiming that because you decided to move back to Glenwood Falls, where real estate and the cost of living are cheaper, he shouldn’t have to pay what we’re asking.”
No doubt in most situations, this would be the bad news, but the truth was, Abigail didn’t care about the money. Yes, she expected Dean to pay child support to help raise Dani, but she’d never been the materialistic type who enjoyed the flamboyant perks of being a hockey wife. She’d bought the expensive clothes and spent the small fortunes on her hair and makeup because it was what Dean expected, what was needed to fit in with the other hockey wives.
At first, she hadn’t felt the need to be part of the group, but she’d quickly learned how lonely life as a professional athlete’s spouse could be. Other hockey families understood the sacrifices and the often-stressful lifestyle, and she’d found comfort and security within the close-knit group.
At least she had until a few weeks ago, when she hadn’t been able to bring herself to log in to the Hockeywives.com site. She was no longer one of them, and she needed to stand on her own two feet now. Reaching out for their support didn’t seem right. And she also didn’t want any information about her new life traveling back to Dean through their hockey-playing husbands.
“Look, don’t worry,” Olivia said when Abigail was quiet. “I’m sure it’s just a delay tactic. He can’t possibly believe the courts will rule in his favor on this. The longer he can delay things, the longer he doesn’t have to pay the divorce settlement or alimony and child support.”
“So, what’s next?”
“Well, I’ll file the counter and see what happens. But in the meantime, try to feel good about the uncontested custody—you wouldn’t believe how often that causes the biggest delay. You’re lucky.”
Lucky, she thought sadly as she disconnected the call. Strange, she didn’t feel lucky. How was she supposed to explain all of this to Dani, who’d had a say in outlining when she wanted to spend time in L.A. with her dad? How could she tell the little girl that her father hadn’t wanted to commit to a schedule, to time with her? The last thing their strained relationship needed was Dani thinking this was somehow her fault. Neither did she want to paint Dean as the villain, as much as she resented him for what he’d done, for tearing their family apart and putting her in this situation.
No, lucky definitely was not a word she’d use.
She stared at the rings on her left hand. Her mother had said there was no rush, she’d know when she was ready to remove them. She struggled to recall the memories attached to each one—the joy, the love, the excitement she’d felt the day he’d proposed and then six months later at their wedding—but too many other memories—of nights alone, of fights that had left her crying herself to sleep, of his betrayal—had caused the good ones to fade.
She stood and walked toward the dresser, where an old wooden jewelry box with her initials and a flower carved into it sat—a gift from Dean he’d made in woodworking class senior year. She opened the lid and removed the rings, then placed them inside.
Her mother was right. She did know when it was the right time.
* * *
Sitting on the tiny bench outside the principal’s office at Glenwood Falls Elementary two days later, Abigail felt like a kid who’d been caught skipping class. Everything around her was so familiar, yet once again, she didn’t take comfort in it. Years before, she couldn’t wait to leave Glenwood Falls, and she’d been filled with illusions of a fantastic, exciting life in L.A.
Things hadn’t quite worked out the way she’d planned, and the media attention given to her divorce and the circumstances around it left her no hope of saving face among her former friends and neighbors in the small town. Hell, she suspected half of them had known Dean was cheating on her based on the tabloid photos long before she’d even realized something was wrong.
God, she’d been so blind.
Loving him as much as she did—had—had clouded her judgment about everything. She’d just felt so lucky that Dean Underwood had chosen her to ask to the school prom, had picked her to be his girlfriend, and then had proposed when she’d told him she was pregnant. The star athlete could have had any girl in town, but he’d chosen her.
And the offer of an exciting life as a pro athlete’s wife had been a dream come true for her. She could be the stay-at-home mom with their daughter while Dani was young and they could travel with him around the world…it had all seemed too good to be true.
And it was.
For the first five years, things had been wonderful, but then Dani started school and Abigail went back to college for her teaching degree. She’d also become more active in the hockey wives’ charity for the local hospital, Dreams for Life, and soon they were barely together as a family. Dean traveled with the team. She raised their daughter and helped fundraise for various causes.
And somewhere along the line, he’d started having affairs, and she’d been too busy to notice.
“Abby?” Liz, the principal’s receptionist, said as she came out into the hall. The woman had been the school’s receptionist when she’d been a student.
She stood. “It’s Abigail now.” She hadn’t been Abby in a long time…and she doubted she’d ever see that girl in the mirror again.
“Okay…well, Principal Breen is ready for you,” Liz said, holding the office door open. “Just head on in.”
“Thank you.” Running a hand along her charcoal pencil skirt, Abigail went inside, feeling exactly as she had years before when she’d been sent to the office for talking too much in class. Her palms damp with sweat, she forced a deep breath.
“Wow. I wasn’t sure I was reading it right when I saw you on my schedule this morning—but here you are. Abby Jansen back in Glenwood Falls—no one will believe it,” Principal Breen said from her seat behind the big mahogany desk.
Nope. No one. Not even her.
Abigail forced her best smile. “Nice to see you, Principal Breen.”
“Have a seat, please,” she gestured to the chair across from her.
She sat, looking around the office. The same bookshelf along the wall, the same file cabinet near the window, and the same bamboo tree growing in the corner. Nothing had changed in the office. Everything was exactly the same.
“So…you’re interested in the substitute teaching position?”
“Yes.” Abigail folded and unfolded her legs, shifting in the seat. This was her first real job interview, as the Dreams For Life charity work had kept her far too busy to apply for a teaching position in L.A. Her heart echoed in her ears and her mind raced. What was she doing here? She wasn’t even remotely qualified for this position.
“Do you have a recent resume?”
She swallowed hard. “Actually, I don’t have one with me…” She did, but not one she was comfortable producing, despite hours trying to make it sound better. Her mother’s “maybe they won’t need to see a resume” comment when she’d shown it to her said it all.
Principal Breen’s eyebrows joined behind her seafoam-green rimmed glasses. “Okay, well, why don’t you start by telling me about any previous teaching experience you have.” She reached for her notepad and pen and waited.
How about none? How could she somehow turn her treasurer role on the Dreams for Life charity and her stay-at-home mom position into something this woman would consider an asset? “Well, I haven’t taught in any schools…but I do have a degree and I did home-school my daughter, Dani, for a while.” Three months while they tried to make traveling with Dean work.
“Okay…”
“And I was involved with the Dreams for Life charity, which helped a lot of children…” God, she sounded like a moron. She wasn’t qualified for this job. Nowhere near it. She might as well mention her after-school newspaper delivery job as well.
“Right.” Principal Breen set the pen down and clasped her hands in front of her on the desk. “Well, we were really hoping to hire someone with actual teaching experience.”
Shit. She needed this job. She needed something to make her feel like she could actually start building a life for herself and Dani there in Glenwood Falls. She needed her confidence to return. And she needed to know they would be okay without Dean. She would be okay without him.
“Principal Breen, please,” she said, clutching her hands tightly in her lap. “I know my lack of experience isn’t ideal, but I can do this job. Please let me prove that to you.” And herself. She hated the sound of begging in her voice, but she wanted—needed—this job. It was hard enough moving back home, having everyone in town know the sordid details about her failed marriage, and trying to gain her daughter’s confidence in her; she really didn’t want to be forced to take the flower delivery position in town. Her already low self-esteem couldn’t handle it.
The woman hesitated. “I’d like to help you Abby…”
Please don’t say but…
She paused and studied her for a moment. “How long are you planning to stay in Glenwood Falls? Is this a permanent move? Or just until you get back on your feet?”
She swallowed hard. “It’s a permanent move.” She refused to uproot Dani again. Leaving L.A. and her friends had been tough enough. They were here to stay and to start over.
“Okay. The substitute position will only be a few days a week…as needed.”
Her breath caught and she tried to hold her excitement. The woman hadn’t quite said yes yet.
“When are you available to…”
“Any time,” she said quickly.
Principal Breen nodded, looking as though she already regretted the decision. “All right. We’ll try this…but there’s no guarantee you’ll get the full-time position at the end of next month.”
“I understand,” she said, but there was no way she wasn’t getting it. She’d do whatever it took to prove to Principal Breen she was the right person for the job.
She released a breath, tension seeping from her shoulders. This was a good start to getting her life back on track. Maybe not the one she’d planned, but hopefully one she could someday be proud of.