Chapter 11
Present Day
The partygoers began to dwindle and clear out around four a.m.
I roll over on the bed and gaze down over London’s sleeping body, her hands formed in a prayer position near her cheek against the pillow. Her blonde hair spills out and I can’t stop myself from petting the silky locks. It brings back a flood of memories – her hair in pigtails when she was six. Her tight, dancer bun when she danced a solo in her ballet recital at twelve. Her cascading waves that fell over her shoulder as she straddled me and road me naked at eighteen.
So many moments, many of which we reminisced about last night.
After Sage departed upstairs, London and I’d hung out by the pool for an hour or so, catching up over a few beers, as people came and went, watching us with a mild curiosity. We didn’t quite fit the rock and roll scene, both of us dressed far more conservatively than the others. But I didn’t care about any of those people. It was just nice to sit and catch-up with London.
I hadn’t realized how much I’d truly missed what we had once shared.
Over the last ten years, I’d seen and done so much, lived a thousand lives. But nothing – with the exception of the birth of my own son – made me feel as whole and complete as I did when I was with London.
My heart felt fuller. My burdens lighter. My smile bigger when she was around. She just had a way of bringing that out in me.
Or maybe it was also knowing that Sage was in our presence. That the three of us were together once again – at least under the same roof – it lifted my spirits and comforted me with some kind of peace.
I shake my head at my own sentimental stupidity as I quietly roll to the side of the bed, careful not to wake London. We’d only gotten a few hours of sleep, and I wanted her to continue resting because last night took its toll on her. I could see the sadness in her eyes, even when she tried to pretend it was all good. Sage’s behavior hurt her.
Slipping on my jeans, I leave them unbuttoned and quietly open the door into the hallway, seeking out the nearest bathroom. The house looked different in the morning light, brighter and sunnier, with the rays of morning sun slipping through the cracks of the closed bedroom doors.
Seeing nobody around, I close the door behind me with a soft click and turn to head downstairs, the same direction we came up last night when I bump into someone.
“Sorry,” I begin to say, but lose my train of thought when I lift my eyes to see that it’s Sage.
His nostrils flare as he takes in my shirtless torso and he takes a step back as if avoiding a venomous snake. He runs a hand through his messy bedhead hair.
“Morning. I was just coming to find you two.” His voice sounds gravely and thick like he swallowed rocks. “I wasn’t sure if you took me up on my offer and stayed the night.”
I lift a shoulder and watch his eyes track the movement.
I have never been attracted to another man in my life. I enjoyed women. But something about Sage – some unique element of his being – always attracted me to him. The way I felt about him scared and scarred me. It made me doubt who I was. Who I was with him and without him.
And it was for that reason that I did what I did to him.
Clearing my throat, I nod. “Yeah, we found a room. She’s still asleep.”
Sage’s eyes land on the door and then reconnect with mine, the dark brown simmering with curiosity. He lifts an eyebrow skyward.
“Did you fuck her? Make up for lost time?”
Anger seers through me at the implication and his obvious jealousy. He’s the one who’s had her on and off for years, keeping her dangling from a string and pulling her in only when it’s convenient for him. When he’s lost and needs her light to help him find his way. Otherwise, from the sounds of it, he couldn’t care less about her.
And yet here he stands, angry with me because I slept in the same bed with her?
“Fuck you, man. You’re a hypocritical asshole. You practically broke her heart last night when she watched you leave with those two hoes, flaunting it in her face. How could you do that, you prick? I thought you loved her?”
Something I say strikes a chord with him, and he heaves a heavy sigh, dropping his head, his fingers threading through his hair.
“Fuck, I know. I’m an asshole of epic proportions. I was just so angry when she showed up with you. I was wasted and high and then pissed off that she didn’t give me any advance warning. It’s a bad combination that prevented any good decisions on my part. I’m sorry.”
Something in the way he says it and the genuine regret over what happened last night makes me accept his apology. Plus, it’d be mighty hypocritical of me if I want him to forgive me and I don’t do the same for him.
Before we can say anything more, our conversation is interrupted by a sleep-riddled woman who saunters down the hallway from what I assume is his master bedroom. She scoots between us, leaning in to whisper in Sage’s ear, her voice tinged with a smoky, southern accent.
“Thanks for last night, darlin’. I had fun. Hope to see you again soon, baby.” The girl reaches up on tiptoe and kisses Sage’s cheek, her hand sliding over his ass to give it a hard squeeze. Then she turns to me and eyes me up and down, giving me a wink before turning to leave.
“Yeah, see ya.”
I watch her walk off, my jaw dropping open at the blasé and completely casual nature of their exchange. Especially if they’d fucked each other last night. It floors me to see how nonchalant their exchange was. I’ve never been a guy who was into casual. I hooked up once with a woman after I’d learned of Lisa’s cheating, and felt disgusted with myself after that.
“Girlfriend?” I ask, even though it’s obvious she isn’t anything to him.
Sage coughs, leaning around my body that’s blocking his view of her retreating form.
“Nah, man. Don’t even know her name. I think she’s the daughter of one of my producers. She offered, I accepted. Although, I have to admit, I’m not even certain we got to the fucking last night. She may have blown me before I blacked out.”
Okay, then.
I stand in awkward silence, remembering that I have to take a piss.
“Hey, I need to use the bathroom. Where’s the nearest?”
I’m stunned at how open he is right now. Like everything is right in the world and last night didn’t even happen. Nor did anything in the past.
But that’s Sage for you. His heart can’t stand hate or ill-will. His temper is a flash in a pan and then it burns itself out just as quick.
He pats me on my shoulder before heading down the hallway in the opposite direction the girl went and leaves me there scratching my head in confusion over the weird turn of events.
As if he can read my mind, Sage turns and says with a dirty smirk, “I’m still fucking pissed at you, if that’s what you’re wondering. It’ll require some groveling. Maybe even a blow job while you’re down on your knees. I seem to recall you owe me one.”
I choke out a cough, my jaw hitting the floor and I hear his deep chuckle from around the corner where he disappears from my sight.
That motherfucker.
I can’t tell if he’s serious or not, because the truth is, there’s always been a possibility that I might do it for him. I just never had the opportunity because of the way things ended.
But that doesn’t mean he hasn’t done it for me.
Once before. A very long time ago.
And it was the best head I’d ever received.
It was also the start of the end between us.