Chapter 14

Ten Years Earlier

 

I’d avoided the calls and texts and other attempts that London had made to reach me for two days straight. I was still seething with pent-up rage and confusion over what I let happen with Sage. With the way I just let it happen.

What the fuck was I thinking?

Oh yeah, that’s right, I wasn’t. Sage had done some gay erotic voodoo magic on me the minute he touched me.

At least that’s what I thought, anyway. And thankfully, he’d been kind enough to find ways to avoid me and had slept on the couch the previous two nights, only coming home when I was already asleep in my bed. I should’ve felt guilty for acting like a prick when he was the one who was going through so much turmoil. It made me sick to my stomach to know that once he went to trial, there was a really good chance he’d be sentenced to prison.

I’d be heading to boot camp to learn combat skills to fight for our country’s freedom, and he’d likely be locked up for an unknown period of time without his freedom.

My head throbbed with the constant reminder and the possibility we’d lose him.

Laying in my bed, I covered my eyes with my forearm, blocking out the sun peeking through my blinds. I didn’t want to get out of bed or do anything today. I just needed some downtime, so I could figure out what the hell I wanted to do about Sage.

A knock on my door had me swiveling my head to the side and dropping my arm against the bed as London’s voice echoed softly through my room.

“Can I come in?”

“Sure,” I agreed, although inside I was wishing her away. Hoping she’d leave me alone and not ask any questions.

There was no doubt in my mind that she didn’t know about the riff between me and Sage. I just didn’t know if she knew what caused it and she was sure as shit here to talk about it. So, I beat her to it, attempting to slam the lid on any potential inquisition.

“I don’t want to talk about it if that’s what you’re here for. Go away.”

She sat down gingerly on the side of my bed and sighed. She never did heed my warnings and was stubborn as a mule. So, instead, she launched right into it.

“I don’t know what happened, and if you can’t tell me, I guess I’ll have to be alright with it. But please don’t do this to him, Cam. He needs us. He needs you in his life. You’re his best friend and I know he’s hurting inside and we’re all he has in this world.”

“Goddamn it, London,” I cursed, swinging my feet off the edge in the other direction and bending over my knees to cup my aching head in my hands. “You wouldn’t understand. Just leave it alone.”

I stood up and made my way to my dresser, pulling on a pair of shorts and a fresh shirt and haphazardly combing through my bedhead hair. When I turned back around, I found her lying on her side, chin resting in her palm to prop her up. A sweet cherry-red grin across her lips.

Even though worried for Sage, she looked sexy as fuck. Gloriously tan, smooth skin, freckles dotting her shoulders that are visible under the straps of her tank top. Her long blonde hair cascaded over her arm and down her back. She looked like the All-American girl. The girl-next-door.

An angel who is currently my adversary.

“He didn’t tell me what happened, but something obviously happened. He’s all surly and combative when I ask him about it. And if you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine. But Cam, we’re running out of time. I know you’ll regret it if you leave without making peace.”

Deep down, I knew what she said was true but there was just too much at stake for me. It was one thing to have fooled around with both Sage and London in our previous encounters because Sage and I were careful never to touch. We didn’t kiss or play with each other. And he certainly never had my dick in his mouth. I knew where things stood when it was the three of us. I was a hetero dude.

But now, I was just fucking confused.

Maybe I could chalk it up to “experimenting” or some shit like that. It happens, right?

I’d be stupid to say I didn’t have feelings for Sage. Of course, I did. He’d been my best friend for as long as I could remember. Not a day had gone by where we hadn’t been together. He knew everything about me and vice versa. I loved him in ways that best friends love each other.

But there was never any dick touching ‘til now.

And that freaked me the fuck out. It changed the definition and dynamics of our friendship. Now it felt murky and fluid with no shape or box to describe it.

If he identified as a bisexual, and he blew me, did that mean I was one now, too?

I’d never given any thought to my sexuality before now. Never figured I’d have a reason to label myself anything other than heterosexual. I was straight, and I liked girls. I loved fucking London. Plain and simple.

On top of which, my parents held very strict religious beliefs that held no room for gay or queer or trans or anything outside of sex and marriage between a man and a woman.

I tugged at the end of my short-cropped hair, not yet buzzed for boot camp regulations. “London, it’s messed up. I’m confused, and I need to straighten it out on my own, apart from him. I can’t be around him right now.”

When I looked down at her face, it about killed me.

“I’m sorry. It’s just the way it has to be.”

I landed on my knees beside the bed and pulled her into my arms. She rested her chin in the curve of my neck, swallowing her sorrow behind wet tears.

“I’m going to lose you both, aren’t I?”

Pulling away so I can see her face, I answered her with a flat-out lie. A refusal to believe that it would come down to that. I had no idea how it would turn out, but still had some sort of hope for the best. Even if I was lying to save both of us.

“No. No. Absolutely not. Like I’ve said before and I’ll say it again. I’ve got you and I will always be here for you.”