It all started on a rock. Right where I’m sitting now.
Nine years ago, I took a leap I was fucking scared even to attempt. It has been a rollercoaster ride of strength and willpower. You think the toughest thing you'll have to face is swallowing the nerves of making the right decision on marrying the right woman or man.
That’s not even close.
The toughest thing is watching the woman you love slowly slip from your grasp and not doing a damn thing about it. You want to, but how can you? You thought it was going to be a whirlwind of boisterous fun, you didn’t ask for that. You didn’t ask for the sleepless nights of doubt, the yelling at each other because you hurt so fucking bad, that’s all you can do to one another, or the silence because you’d rather hear nothing than how you’ve fucked shit up beyond repair.
No.
You didn’t ask for that.
You asked for sleepless nights of passion, yelling at little league games, or the silence after you just laid your baby girl down for the third time that night and are scared to make a sound in fear you’ll wake her.
That’s what you asked for.
Life has a way of throwing you a curve ball and showing you that even though you didn’t ask for it, you need to walk that path. You need to learn how to fight together, not alone. How you need to talk to each other and not let life separate you.
I wish I would have known this.
I never stopped fighting. Not really. I just struggled with how I was supposed to fight for something I thought we would never lose.
To come to terms with something like that is harder than actually solving the problem.
Then we did. We began to realize life wasn’t going to make it easy for us anymore. We had to fight to regain that fire in our marriage again.
It wasn’t easy, but we did it.
We fell deeper in love with one another in the process. We could have given up, but we didn’t. I looked into Selena’s eyes and realized if I didn’t have her to nag at me when I didn’t load the dishwasher, or her attitude when I forgot to grab something from the store she desperately needed, I’d have nothing. I would have nothing to keep me as the man I am right now. She claims I gave her a home when, really, it was her who gave me everything. She gave me the will to keep fighting. She always did.
“Whatcha doin’ out here, handsome?” I hear that voice—the one that wraps around you like satin and hugs you so fucking tight, it’s almost suffocating, but you would die knowing her last words were to you.
I peer over my shoulder to see Selena walking up to the rock. She climbs up and plops herself right beside me, a hand resting on my thigh. This is something that has been common the last two years. If we are near each other, we have physical contact. It’s not something we have talked about it, it just naturally happened after Aria was arrested. Being on a cliff, hanging on with the tips of our fingers, we take nothing for granted anymore.
“Just thinkin’,” I tell her. “What’s Lonnie doing?”
“In her room with Ollie. She’s reading to him.”
I let out a short chuckle. That’s my Lonnie girl. If she’s not talking, she’s reading. She hasn’t changed a bit since all that shit went down. Selena thought it would be best to keep it from her even after Aria was put away. I figured there would be talk at school about it and thought it might be a good idea to warn London about what happened, but Lena put her foot down, telling me she didn’t want our little girl worrying about something that didn’t matter anymore.
She was right.
It didn’t matter anymore.
Aria was gone, and we would never have to worry about her again. After she serves her sentence and is released, she can no longer reside in the same county as us, and if she's caught within county lines, she'd return to prison. That could have been the third best gift anyone has ever given me, the first being my wife and the second being my daughter.
“I think I want to get London another dog,” Lena confesses.
“Yeah, why’s that?”
She shrugs. I’m sure she found a picture of a cute puppy on Facebook and thought it would be a good idea. Some things never change. Lena’s still a nut.
“Well, baby, suppose it wouldn’t hurt to go look at the shelter.”
“Good, because I’m not in the mood to beg right now.”
Another laugh comes out. “Babe, you know I can’t say no to you.”
She rests her head on my shoulder, and her fingers give me a tap on my thigh. "I know."
She fucking does, too.
“Remember I’m lunching with Carolina tomorrow. You’re watching Trenton.”
“I remember.”
I feel her head nod against my shoulder, and then she's changing the subject. "I miss sitting out here. It's where I do all my best thinking."
“Baby,” I start on another laugh. “You were just out here this morning drinking your coffee like you do every morning.” Which is not a lie. Every morning for the last two years, she’s come out here the minute her coffee mug is full and sits on this rock until it’s empty. Like she said, it’s where she does her best thinking, but it’s also the place that calms her—gives her a sense of peace no one else can.
“I know, but I still miss it,” she says.
“You’re a nut, you know that?”
“Yes,” she concurs.
“Lean up, Lena.”
She does, and when her eyes meet mine, they narrow in confusion. “Why?”
“Kiss me, Lena.”
She tilts her head to the side, her eyes widening and pouty lips pursing. “I was comfortable.”
“Yeah, and I want a kiss, woman.”
“And you say I’m the nut.” She shakes her head, but leans into me. I meet her in the middle and our lips touch, that spark between us igniting.
The spark we will never let fade again.
It all started in this very spot nine years ago. If we hadn't fought for what we have, we would have never been able to rewrite our ending. We would have never been able to give our daughter, and eventually, her family the life on Copperfield Lane.
The place that brings everyone home.