Haven closed the door and leaned back against it, too keyed up to sit, too anxious to be still. Between the adrenaline coursing through her while helping Alexa and the dread weighing her down from knowing the Ravens had essentially been discussing her fate, Haven felt a little like she might come out of her skin.
Arms folded over her chest, she stared at Dare, her gaze running over the hard angles of his face, the way his club cut emphasized the breadth and bulk of his shoulders, how the old denim of his jeans hugged his thighs.
“Haven,” he said.
Her gaze cut to his. And, oh, man, she was so busted, wasn’t she?
“You gonna sit?” he asked, lowering himself into the ancient black leather office chair.
She shook her head. “I’d rather stand,” she said. Nervously, she glanced around the room. Files, papers, and odd dog-on-motorcycle knickknacks cluttered his desk, while bike-related signs and posters filled the walls. The window over his shoulder looked out onto the clubhouse’s back porch and let in the warm breeze and the birdcalls she enjoyed so much when she sat outside.
Just another thing she would miss.
“Okay,” he said, rising again and coming around to the near side of the desk. He rested his butt against its edge and crossed his arms over his chest, his position mirroring hers. “So, the club’s come up with a plan to keep you safe.”
Obviously, that was a good thing, except then why did it make her stomach drop to the floor? “Which is?” she asked, meeting Dare’s serious gaze.
“For the long term, we think it probably makes sense to relocate you and Cora and set the both of you up with brand-new, foolproof identities. That includes everything—birth certificates, Social Security numbers, driver’s licenses, and the like.”
Haven’s brain raced at all the implications—living somewhere new, having a new name, stepping into a whole new life. Given the likelihood that her father would never stop looking for her, it made sense. But it also settled a dull ache in the center of her chest. Because it meant she’d never really be able to stop watching and waiting and worrying that he might only be a half step behind her.
Changing her name also meant losing her only real connection to her mother, who Haven knew had picked it because her father told her that every time he told her how stupid it was. Because her mother had left while Haven had still been in diapers, Haven had no firsthand memories of the woman. But even though it had hurt for a long time that her mother had abandoned her, Haven also couldn’t help but feel some small sympathy for a woman who had maybe hoped her baby would provide a safe haven in an otherwise bad life. Apparently, it hadn’t worked.
Blinking out of her thoughts, Haven said, “Um, maybe I should go get Cora for this.” What would her reaction to all this be? Haven already felt bad that her problems came with such enormous consequences for the best friend she ever had.
Dare reached out a hand as if to stop her, even though she hadn’t actually moved. “I’ll talk to her, too. But there’s more I need to tell you.”
“Okay,” she said, head spinning. And then something occurred to her that made her totally nauseous. “Dare, I don’t have any way to pay for something like that. Like, I literally have nothing.” A shiver of panic raced over her skin, and the words rushed out of her. “I don’t even know how I—”
“No,” he said. Dare was in front of her in an instant, his hands gently grasping her by the arms. Heat shot from his touch into her face, her breasts, her belly. “I know that, Haven, and this is on us, not you.”
She blinked, overwhelmed by his words, his closeness, the longing she felt for him. “Why?”
Shadows passed behind his eyes, shadows that Haven didn’t understand. “It’s what we do.”
“But why?” she asked again. Without knowing, it was so much harder to believe that he and the Ravens would do so much for someone they knew so little and owed even less.
Dare released her and stepped back, and there was that distance again. Physical and emotional. He crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head. “It’s just what we do,” he said. “I told you that from the very start.”
He was right. Haven remembered the conversation they’d had in the lounge the night she’d first met Dare. Intellectually, she knew that had only taken place a week before, but for some reason it felt like she’d lived a whole lifetime since first meeting Dare Kenyon.
“Okay,” she said. “What else do you need to tell me then?” She wasn’t sure how anything else could possibly be as big as pretending to be someone you weren’t—for the rest of your life. But something about the way Dare wasn’t quite meeting her eyes made her instincts jangle. Whatever it was might not be as big as all that, but it was still big enough.
“While you’re still here, you can’t go out in public. At least, not without having a few of us with you.”
That news made her nausea even worse. She’d gotten free of her father’s house, only to . . . what? Be imprisoned elsewhere? Be imprisoned by her past? Be imprisoned by fear, forever?
“It’s not what you think,” Dare said, his brow furrowing as he peered down at her. “It’s just for your safety.”
“Sure,” she said, trying to fend off the irrational feelings of defeat and resignation threatening to swamp her. It was all for her own good, after all. Right?
“And one more thing,” he said. “Just to be on the safe side, we think . . . well . . . you gotta change the hair. The length makes you stand out, and it’s identifiable from a distance. It might be overkill, but we have to assume the worst—that your father knows you’re in the greater Baltimore area and that you were taken by the team operating out of Hard Ink. It wouldn’t take too much digging for someone with the right skills and motivation to tease that trail in this direction, and we’ve got a race open to the public next weekend, so . . .”
Her hair? She had to change her hair? Tears pricked at the backs of her eyes, and she ducked her chin to her chest. After everything else he’d said, her reaction to the idea of cutting her hair was probably ridiculous. It was a little thing in the greater scheme of things. And it would grow back, of course. But then why did it make her stomach hurt and her shoulders sag?
It’s for your own good, it’s for your own good.
She repeated the mantra in her mind and shook her head. “Okay,” she said. “How should I, uh, go about that?”
“Oh, uh,” he said, looking uncomfortable. “I’ll take you somewhere. Or something. Let me figure that out.”
A fast nod and lots of blinking. When she was sure her voice wasn’t going to crack, she said, “Thank you, for all of this. It’s pretty amazing that you’d help complete strangers.” Although, she didn’t feel like a stranger to Dare. Not even a little, and that made that hollow space inside her chest ache even more. “And I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about the reward sooner. I just . . . it wasn’t . . .” She shook her head again. “Just, I’m sorry.”
Dare stepped closer and bent down so he could look at her eye to eye. “I get why you did what you did. Okay? I’m not pissed about that. Not anymore,” he said.
His closeness stole her breath, and suddenly Haven found herself trembling for reasons that had nothing to do with how overwhelmed she felt. As her gaze scanned over his darkly handsome face, she licked her lips, hungry for a taste of him. Hungry for everything, with him. And that feeling beckoned words she didn’t mean to say out loud.
“Will I get to see you . . . after?” Heat flooded into her cheeks at everything the question potentially revealed. But she probably didn’t have time to play games or be subtle or wait to see how things worked out, did she?
His eyes narrowed. “After you’re relocated?”
She nodded.
“No,” he said, neither his eyes nor his expression revealing anything about how that made him feel. “It would be sorta like the witness protection program. New name. New home. No contact with anyone or anywhere from your old life.”
“Oh, of course,” she said, her tone sounding a heck of a lot more normal than she felt. Because she would be giving up not only the one place she’d ever felt safe but the one man who had ever made her feel safe, too. And, of course, safe was only just one of the things Dare made Haven feel. And maybe not even the most important—which was saying something for someone who’d lived the way she had for so very long. “And when would we leave?”
“Could take as much as two weeks to get everything ready,” he said on a sigh. “Or it could be sooner. But I’ll keep you posted.”
Two weeks. Two weeks. She wanted to be happy about that. She wanted to feel like, oh yay, in two weeks I can finally have the life I’ve always wanted. Except she didn’t feel that way at all. Instead, it felt like the clock was ticking down all around her, marking the minutes and seconds until she’d have to give up some of the best things she’d ever found.
“Two weeks,” she said out loud. “Well, that sounds, uh, great.” The last thing she wanted was for him to think she wasn’t grateful, because she was. “Anything else?” she asked, suddenly wanting to flee, to be out from underneath the intensity of his too-observant gaze.
“No, but Haven—”
Two knocks against the door.
Haven startled at the sound coming from right behind her. She jumped out of the way as the door opened.
Maverick poked his head in. “Oh, sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Haven said. “We were all done. I think. Right?” She looked to Dare.
He frowned. “Yeah, about done.”
“Well, then, can I talk to you?” Maverick asked, looking to Dare.
“I’ll go,” Haven said, not even waiting for Dare to respond. She pulled the door open further and then slipped by Maverick. He seemed nice, which made her feel bad for him and Alexa, because it seemed like there was something between them. “Is Alexa okay?” she asked.
Maverick peered over his shoulder at her. With his blond hair and blue eyes, he was a cute guy, more traditionally handsome than Dare, she supposed. “She will be,” he said. “Thank you for what you did for her.”
“Of course,” Haven said, nodding and needing to get away from the way Dare was staring at her over the other man’s shoulder. “It was nothing.”
“No, Haven,” Maverick said, turning all the way toward her. “You taking care of someone I care about will never be nothing.”
“Okay,” she said, unsure how else to respond. “I really hope things work out for her.” With a nod, Haven turned and rushed down the hall, hoping against hope that things worked out for herself, too.
WELL, THAT SUCKED ass, Dare thought. He blew out a breath and waved Maverick in. “What’s up?” he asked Maverick as the two of them settled into the chairs on either side of the desk. “How’s Alexa?”
Maverick braced his elbows on his knees and dropped his face into his hands. He ground the heels of his palms into his eyes and heaved a troubled breath. “Fuck,” he bit out, and then he looked up at Dare. “She won’t tell me what happened, just insists it was a misunderstanding. Like we haven’t heard that before.”
“Yeah,” Dare said. “A misunderstanding that involved her face getting slammed against some immovable object?”
“Right.” Mav shoved to his feet and paced. “I don’t know what to do.”
Fuck if this conversation wasn’t going to suck, too. “You’re not gonna like what I have to say.”
Maverick pointed at him. “No, I’m not. So don’t say it.”
“Maverick—”
“I fucking mean it, D,” he gritted out.
Dare stood and braced his fists on the desk. “You can’t help someone who refuses to be helped. You know that, maybe more than anyone. And Alexa Harmon is possibly the most stubborn woman on the face of the earth.”
His cousin chuffed out a humorless laugh. “Ain’t that the truth.” He paced along the short space in front of the desk, and then raked his hands into his blond hair. “But then what do I do? I have to do something. I can’t just sit here waiting for the next time.”
“Shit, Mav. Whatever’s going on for her, she’s gotta want out of it before you can do anything. That fucking sucks, I know—”
“No, you don’t goddamn know,” Maverick yelled, glaring at him.
Dare didn’t take offense. He could only imagine how he’d feel to see Haven bruised and bloodied like that—
The thought nearly stole his breath, because he didn’t have many days left to see Haven at all. A vague sense of dread coursed through his veins. How did he know she’d be safe without him, even if they took every precaution in setting up a new life for her? How did he know if he wasn’t there?
And why did the prospect of not being there make him want to pound his fist into a wall? Why did it feel like he was the one running away—again? Like he’d done the day Kyle and his mom had died, instead of staying and fighting . . .
Dare shook the thoughts away. Or he tried to. “You could set up some low-key surveillance of her house for a few days,” he managed, wanting to solve just one person’s problem today.
Mav’s eyes went wide. “But what about the manpower we need here? Until we can make arrangements for Haven and Cora?”
“We’ll make it work,” Dare said, and then he nailed Maverick with a stare. “But do not fucking engage. Not while you’re by yourself.”
“Yeah, yeah. Of course not.” Maverick sagged into the chair behind him. “Thanks.”
“Is she still here?” Dare said, taking a seat himself.
“Yeah. Bunny came and she was talking to her. I hoped maybe Alexa would open up more to a woman.” Even though Bunny was Maverick’s mother, he’d used her nickname for as long as Dare could remember. Everyone did. “Speaking of which, Haven was great with her.”
Dare nodded, working hard to school his features. “She was.”
Maverick tilted his head and eyeballed Dare. “What’s going on between the two of you, anyway?”
Pulling his cell out of his jeans pocket, Dare shook his head. “Nothing.” The word tasted sour on his tongue. If it was nothing, then why was he so tied up in knots?
“She sure doesn’t look at you like it’s nothing.”
“Is that so?” Dare asked, checking his texts and e-mails to see if the pics of her father and his men had come through yet. What kind of pathetic was he that he took pleasure from hearing Maverick say Haven looked at him like she was interested?
“Don’t tell me you don’t see it,” Mav said.
Eyes still down, Dare shrugged. He saw it. He saw her. “Doesn’t really matter, does it?” Something hit him in the forehead. He flinched as a pencil tumbled down his front and fell to the floor. “Ow, you fucker. Coulda taken my damn eye out.”
“Uh-huh. Stop shitting me for a minute,” Maverick said.
Dare sat forward in his chair and threw the cell to the desk. “What do you want from me, Maverick?”
Maverick’s eyes went wide, and then narrowed as they studied Dare. “You like her.”
“Mav—”
“You fucking like her.” The big idiot grinned. Like there was anything good about Dare’s errant feelings. For fuck’s sake.
“Good-bye, Maverick. Don’t let the door hit ya in the ass on the way out.” Dare gave him a pointed look.
Maverick settled back in the chair and crossed his hands and fingers over his stomach. Goddamned pain in the ass. “You’re totally feeling her.”
“I’m not fucking around, Maverick. We’re not talking about this.” No sense in trying to deny it, because his cousin could get like a dog with a damn bone. Better just to cut the whole conversation off at the knees.
“Not going anywhere, D. For five years you’ve known about how I crashed and burned with Alexa. If you think I’m backing off of the first time you went and got the feels for a woman, you’re crazier than I thought you were.” Maverick’s expression said he was having way too much fun with this topic. The bastard.
“Any chance you could rub a few more brain cells together and remember what the hell we talked about in Church not a damn hour ago?” Dare asked.
For a moment, Maverick looked almost comically confused, and then his mouth dropped open. “Oh. Oh, shit, D.”
“Now, can we be done?”
All the humor bled out of Maverick’s expression. “Yeah, I’ll, uh”—he thumbed toward the door—“go check on Alexa and Bunny.”
“Good plan,” Dare said, feeling like an asshole.
Maverick left without saying anything else, leaving Dare sitting all alone in the quiet of his office. All alone. He hadn’t ever really had a steady relationship, not in all the years he’d lived in Frederick. Plenty of fucks, and a few friends with benefits, but no one he ever wanted for longer, for keeps, for his. Still, he had women when he wanted them. He had his brothers. He had his grandfather and great-aunt. He’d been alone, but he hadn’t ever felt lonely.
Until now. And there was only one thing different about his life.
Haven.