Everything fucking hurt.
His head. His arm. His side.
As consciousness returned, Dare remembered the full horror of what happened. And that’s when he realized that the thing that hurt worse than anything else was his heart. Because he’d failed Haven. Failed and let her father take her away.
On a groan, he forced his eyes open and licked dryly at his lips.
“Dare?” came a deep whisper.
Blinking up at the ceiling, he forced his eyes to the right to find Maverick sitting at his bedside. In a dimly lit hospital room. He tried to form his cousin’s name, but his mouth wouldn’t work.
“Don’t try to talk, man.” Maverick grabbed a white cup off a tray and held the straw to his lips. There was a joke in there somewhere. If Dare felt up to jokes, which he fucking didn’t. But the water was like drinking the finest aged whiskey. Dare couldn’t get enough.
“You look like hell,” Dare rasped.
Maverick barked out a hushed laugh. “You ain’t winning no beauty contests right now either, D.”
Grimacing, Dare went to scrub at his face, but only his right hand would move. Forcing his head to look down his left side, Dare’s chin dropped. Haven was sitting in a chair, her head and shoulders resting on the edge of his bed, her hand holding his. “Haven?” he said in a soft, disbelieving rasp. “Is that . . . I thought . . .”
“You should let her sleep,” Maverick said. “I think it’s the first time since everything went down that she finally managed to fall. And she won’t eat anything either.”
“I thought she was gone,” Dare said, emotion clogging his throat. Emotion that the pain and the drugs and the wonder of her being here wouldn’t let him hold in. He pressed his hand over his mouth and closed his eyes, holding his breath to staunch the fucking embarrassing sobs that wanted to break free.
“She saved your life, D. Saved your life and guarded you like a lioness guarding her cubs.” The admiration was plain in Maverick’s voice.
The words unlocked a door in Dare’s memory, and he could see her hovering over him, shielding his body with hers, grasping the gun from his holster. “Her father? What happened?” He scrubbed a hand over his eyes, catching a bit of stray wetness.
Mav nodded. “She took care of him, though she’s already been cleared by the police for self-defense. Nick’s guys took care of a few others, including Cora’s father. Our people took out the rest when they tried to come back to their cars, which is where we found Bunny, tied up in the backseat of one of them. She’s doing okay,” he said.
“I’m so damn sorry she got hurt in all of this,” Dare said, knowing it must’ve killed Maverick to see his mother banged up again.
Maverick shook his head. “Don’t worry. Doc, Rodeo, and Bear are with her at home. You know how tough she is. She’s more upset that she can’t be here with you. Meat’s okay, too. He’s down the hall. Jeb and the Winston kid driving number five didn’t make it, though. The whole incident on Friday night is being pinned on Randall’s crew and their attempted kidnapping of Haven.”
Jesus, that was a lot to take in. Dare’s chest ached for Jeb, a good kid who would’ve made a great brother. And he’d died trying to protect Bunny. “What time is it?” Dare’s head felt like it was full of cotton, his thoughts all scattered.
“Uh, it’s three o’clock Saturday afternoon. You were hit in the side and shoulder and were in surgery for five hours last night. You’ll be all right, though.”
Alarm shot through Dare’s body, making him groan. “Fuck. The exchange.”
“Cancelled,” Maverick said. “Iron Cross is denying having told Randall anything. Said he found out on his own, and they didn’t get paid shit from anyone. But let that be a worry for another day.”
Dare sagged back into the bed. Another day sounded good to him.
“Listen, nearly the whole club’s out in the waiting room, so I’m gonna go share the good news that your moody ass is awake and let you get some rest.”
Damn, even smiling hurt. “Don’t make me laugh.”
Maverick rose from his chair. “Before I go, there’s something I think you should see.” He grabbed a thick envelope from the rolling tray and pulled something out of it. A card. He handed it to Dare.
“What’s this?” Dare asked, trying to make his eyes focus. Mav just waited, and finally Dare’s brain caught up. A Missouri driver’s license. Haven’s new license. Except of course that wouldn’t be her new name. His eyes scanned . . .
Kyle Grace Jameson.
Dare blinked. Kyle? She’d named herself Kyle?
He squinted and realized he’d read it wrong. Kylie, not Kyle.
Except having seen his brother’s name in her newly chosen name, he couldn’t unsee it. What were the chances the similarity in those names was a coincidence? His gut told him it was very little. His heart told him it was none at fucking all.
Haven had been planning to name herself after his brother? He squeezed the card in his hand. “Kylie,” he whispered, emotion clogging his throat again.
“Yeah,” Maverick said, placing the envelope on the tray. “Kylie.”
The significance of that gesture sank into every fiber of Dare’s being. On a cellular level, he felt the generosity, the sweetness, the incredible beauty of what she planned to do and who she planned to be.
Which was when he knew there was absolutely no way on God’s green earth he was letting her become Kylie. Not when she was already his Haven.
Unless, of course, she wanted to go. Because after the horror show of Friday night and being forced to kill her own father, he wouldn’t blame her one bit if she was chomping at the bit to leave, to finally find a place where she might be safe.
Dare wouldn’t make her stay, even though she’d be taking his heart with her if she went.
HAVEN CAME AWAKE on a gasp, her gaze cutting immediately to Dare’s face. Dark circles marred the skin beneath his eyes and lines cut deep into his skin, but his eyes were open and looking at her, and it made him the most gorgeous man she’d ever seen.
“You’re awake,” she said, sitting up. “Oh, God, you’re really awake.” She cupped his jaw in her hand, relief coursing through her.
“And you’re still here,” he said, voice scratchy. He’d been intubated during his surgery, and one of the nurses had mentioned he’d probably have a sore throat.
The words made Haven’s belly sink, and she drew her hand away. “Uh, yeah. Well, they wanted to wait for you to decide what to do.” From the moment Caine had returned with their paperwork and logistics, Haven had been nearly sick with dismay at the prospect of leaving.
Dare frowned. “I’m sorry, Haven.” He pressed his lips into a grim line, and his eyes looked so bleak.
“For what?”
“For so much. For not protecting you. For not keeping my word. For putting you in the position of having to take a life.” He shook his head, and the grimace proved that it was more movement than he was up for.
“In case you didn’t notice,” she said, fight stirring up in her belly, “I’m completely unharmed. You kept your promise. And killing my father was one of the most justified things I’ve ever done in my life. He killed people we cared about. He hurt Bunny. He was going to kill you and kidnap me. He was evil, pure and simple. So I’m not sorry. Not at all. And you shouldn’t be either.”
Dare studied her like he was searching for the truth in her words. “You’re not upset?”
Taking his hand in hers, she shook her head. “Not about any of that.”
“About something else?” he asked.
She dropped her gaze to the envelope on the tray next to him. “Caine got the paperwork.”
“I know,” he said, holding up her driver’s license in his other hand. She hadn’t noticed he had it. “You named yourself after my brother.” He didn’t phrase it as a question.
Heat filled her cheeks. “I wanted the name to mean something.”
“My brother means something to you?” he asked, a strange expression she couldn’t read playing over his face.
Discomfort rolled through her stomach. Did he disapprove? She dropped her chin and her gaze. “Yeah, because he means so much to you.”
He squeezed her hand weakly. “Look at me.” She forced her eyes to meet his, and he stared at her a long, long moment. “What do you want?”
Feeling like she was standing on the edge of the tallest cliff, Haven knew she had to jump. Her life depended on it. “I want to live. To really live—”
Pain flickered over his face, making her swallow her words. “Then we’ll get you out of here as soon as we can. Because you deserve that, Haven.”
Wait. What? “No,” she said, shaking her head. “I want to live, Dare. And you’re the one who showed me that I could. Who showed me how beautiful it could be—”
“Killing your father was beautiful?” he bit out.
“I’m free now. For real. And someone who made a life out of hurting others is gone. Maybe that’s not beautiful, but it’s good. And if that makes me a horrible person, then I’m okay with it.”
“Should’ve been me,” he said, grit in his voice.
“I don’t need you to protect me, Dare. I appreciate it, but I can survive on my own. I’ve done it all my life. But I don’t want to just survive. Not anymore. I want to live and experience all the beauty and power and chaos of life. And I want that . . . I want that with you.”
Dare frowned, and then his eyes went wide. “Are you saying—”
“I don’t want to go,” she said. “Unless you don’t want me to stay. Unless . . . unless I’m really not that special to you.” Giving voice to those words was one of the scariest things she’d ever done. But she had to know. Once and for all.
She could barely breathe as she waited for him to reply.
On a groan, he reached for her with his good arm, and she leaned in to let him cup the back of her neck and pull her closer. “Come here,” he whispered. She got as close as she could without putting any of her weight on him. His gaze went soft and unshuttered, and then words spilled from that harsh, beautiful mouth. “I love you,” he said. “I fucking love you so much that I don’t think I can exist without you. Not anymore. I don’t want you to go. Not at all. You’re the most special thing I’ve ever found. You’ve given me love and acceptance and peace and comfort and made me realize that I want things out of this life, too. Things I hadn’t realized and certainly hadn’t been pursuing. But the world I live in . . . fuck, this life isn’t—”
Haven kissed him, happiness, relief, and overwhelming love making it impossible for her to speak. So she poured everything she felt into the way her lips caressed his, the way her hand stroked his hair. And then she looked down into his questioning eyes. “I love you, too,” she rasped. “You own my heart and you always will, because you taught me what love was and you showed me what life could be. You gave me wings, Dare, and they brought me right back to you. And they always will.”
“You love me?” he asked, raw wonder in his voice.
“Maybe from the very first time we spoke,” she said, happiness welling so big and warm inside her chest that she wasn’t sure how she could hold it all in.
“Fuck,” he said, his face crumpling with emotion. He tried to cover it with his hand, and the show of emotion reached into her chest and squeezed her heart. “You saved me,” he said, his voice cracking a little.
Haven smiled, completely overwhelmed by the perfection of the moment. “We saved each other.”
Dare heaved a deep, shaky breath. “You’re pretty fucking awesome. You know that?” he asked.
Her smile slipped into a grin. “I really am.”
He gave a little coughing laugh and groaned at the same time. “Can’t . . . laugh,” he gasped.
“I’m sorry.” She stroked his hair back off his face.
“Don’t ever be sorry for making me happy, Haven. Because you do. Happier than I’ve ever been in my life. I didn’t realize how little I’d been living all these years until you came along. So, yeah, we saved each other. And I just can’t let you go. Not today. Not ever.”
Which was exactly what Haven wanted to hear. “That’s all I need, Dare. You’re all I need. We’ll figure the rest out.”
His fingers toyed clumsily with a long strand of her hair. “Yeah, we fucking will,” he said, strength filtering into his voice. “One day, one night, one ride at a time.”