*Mia*

 

“How do you feel about that, Mia?” Dr. Garcia asked.

“I don’t know.”

She gave me a look that I was more than familiar with. Making me roll my eyes and take a deep breath. “I guess I just never expected my mind to flip a switch like that. I mean… Uncle Dylan said he was a free man now. I’m torn about all the stuff I learned involving their dad and me. I’d only met the man in passing a couple of times, but I was targeted by him even before that. It upsets me that I don’t even get to ask him why…”

It had been three months since their dad had been killed and I had learned the truth. My family contemplated whether to tell me or not, but it was national news. There was no hiding the truth when it was plastered all over the T.V. and newspapers. Learning the truth was harder than I’d ever imagined.

“It makes me sick to my stomach, knowing what could have happened if his plans had succeeded. Knowing I would have been sold to some sick person, most likey tortured and forced into slavery is a sombering thought. The intent behind his actions is a tough pill to swallow. Before now, I never knew such a disgusting world existed. And I almost fell victim to it,” I paused, reining in my plaguing thoughts. My poor parents are beside themselves. My mom said that my dad tried to meet up with Creed to apologize and thank him, but hasn’t found where he’s staying. If that’s not irony, I don’t know what is. I can only imagine what Creed must be feeling. Finding all this horrible secrets and taking his own father's life must be weighing heavy on his shoulders. I know Noah is having a hard time with it. Not that his father is dead, but that he wanted to kidnap me.”

She nodded. “It’s a lot to take in. Do you feel better now that you know the truth?”

“I do.”

“You don’t sound very convincing, Mia.”

“I’m just torn.”

“With the news? Or with Creed and Noah?”

“Wow, Doc, you’re not making it easy for me today, huh?” I nervously chuckled.

“Well?”

“I know Creed was the one who technically kidnapped me, but he was just trying to protect me. I know that now. Everyone does. But the shootout, me getting shot, Maddie… that wasn’t his fault. It was his father’s. For almost a year Creed was on the run, in hiding, trying to get to the bottom of the truth. For me. That changes things, Dr. Garcia. I know I still don’t remember him, but it doesn’t change the fact that he truly was my hero this entire time. Not the villain everyone portrayed him as. He was the good guy. I never thought of him as a bad person, he just made bad things happen and bad decisions.”

“How does that make you feel? Does it tap into the memories at all?”

“Here’s the thing, it’s been over a year since I lost my memory. Every day since I woke up in that hospital, I feel like I remember something, but it doesn’t present itself to me like a memory. It’s just a feeling in my gut, deep within me. I have no idea how that even makes sense, but the feelings are getting more and more intense as time goes on. I may not remember Creed, but you were right, Doctor, he’s been right here since the beginning… in my heart. Has been since day one.”

“What about Noah?”

“I love Noah. I honestly do. That’s why I’m torn, Doc. The Mia I was in the past is madly in love with Creed, and the Mia I am now is in love with Noah. Except, learning all these things that Creed has done for me… Makes me think, this Mia, the woman I am now. Loves him too, and maybe she never stopped.”

“There could be worse things than loving two men, sweetie.”

“Not if one of them gets hurt.”

“Have you seen Creed?”

“You know I haven’t. Not since that night at his mom’s. The very same night he saw us. The same night he was brutal and nasty to me. Which in a way I guess I deserved. I know he was hurting and drunk, and I don’t blame him for that. The crazy thing is, even though he was deliberately being cruel to me, he never once stopped saying that I was his. That he loved me. That I belonged to him. His love always spoke through the pain. The pain I caused the man who’s done nothing but protect me.”

“Have you and Noah discussed this?”

“No. What am I supposed to say to him? He didn’t do anything wrong. He’s been nothing short of amazing to me. He’s been there as a friend, a boyfriend, and a lover. I can’t imagine my life without him in it.”

“But you can with Creed?”

“I can, but only because I haven’t spent any time with him since the shooting. I know I would feel different if he became my friend, but I don’t think we could ever just be friends. At least not for him, and the last thing I want to do is hurt him any more than I already have.”

“How about Maddie? How has it been since you and Noah finally talked about her?”

“I have a better sense of understanding the love I had for her, and it makes me feel less like a horrible mother. I also think it has given Noah and me a bit of closure. We don’t talk about her, but it doesn’t feel like there’s a huge elephant in the room anymore. I also know that if I wanted to talk about her, he would listen and vice versa.”

She nodded. “What would happen if you woke up tomorrow and remembered, Mia? If suddenly your memory was back. Do you think it would still be Noah?”

My eyes widened, biting my lower lip. I shrugged, not knowing how to answer.

“Then I think that’s what you need to figure out. Because that one day, sweetie, could be tomorrow.”

“Yeah…” I whispered.

She flipped through my notebook, paying particular attention to some of my last entries. “I think the answers have been in front of you all along, Mia,” she said, closing it and handing it back to me.

“What do you mean?”

“I see a pattern happening on those pages. Your homework is to take some time for yourself, and read through your thoughts in that notebook, alright? Same time next week, okay?”

I nodded. She ended our session, leaving me with a lot to think about. When I exited the elevator, Noah was patiently waiting for me in the parking garage like always.

“Hey, pretty girl,” he greeted, kissing me and pulling me into his arms.

“Hey, yourself,” I teased, smiling.

“Guess what today is?”

“If you say something sexual, I’m going to hit you,” I giggled, pulling away.

“Get your mind out of the gutter!” he chuckled, grabbing my hand and kissing it. Leading me out of the garage. “I know my cock is good to you and all, but you gotta give the man a break sometimes.”

My mouth dropped open. “Oh my God! You’re the one who wants to live on top of me.”

“Really? Says the girl who’s on top most of the time.”

I looked down at the ground, not wanting him to see the expression on my face. I was scared it would give away why I wanted to be on top. Why I needed to be. “So, what is today then?” I asked, changing the subject.

“Today is the day you ride on the back of my bike.”

I shook my head, glancing at the side of his face. “Nope. Not happening.”

“Oh, it’s happenin’.” He picked me up off the ground, throwing me over his shoulder before I even saw it coming.

“You can’t do this every time you don’t get your way!”

“Try and stop me, Mia.”

I struggled against him, laughing the entire time as he walked us to the back of the huge building, to the alleyway where he had parked his bike and there were no other vehicles.

“It’s time for you to meet my other girl. She’s gettin’ her feelings hurt since I don’t ride her as much as you ride me.”

I smacked his back, making him chuckle.

“You’re gonna sit your pretty little ass on my bike for a minute, so you can get used to the feelin’ of somethin’ so big between your legs. Wait, you should already be used to it cuz of me.”

I smacked him again.

He clutched onto my waist, sliding me down his hard, muscular body. Making me straddle his waist as he straddled his bike, placing me on his lap. Our innocent encounter turned into something else entirely different when he yanked me closer. Molding us into one person and kissing me as if his life depended on it. I moaned into his mouth, and he groaned into mine as he suddenly fisted my hair at the nook of my neck. His other hand drifted down the side of my breast to the seam of my panties, under my dress. He slid them over, gliding his fingers into my wet folds.

I swallowed hard. “Noah… someone could walk back here.”

“Fuck, you’re so wet. I did this to you. Me,” he growled, continuing to work my clit. Ignoring my fear, seducing me to keep going. He swiftly pushed me back, and I placed my hands on the gas tank for support.

My head was spinning, my heart was racing, my core was throbbing. I leaned forward to kiss him, but he tore my hair back harder. Wanting me to stay right where I was, spread wide open for him on his bike.

I couldn’t stop it.

I couldn’t stop this.

My mind and my heart wouldn’t let me, colliding into one.

He wanted to watch me fall over the edge, needing to feel me deep in his soul. Never once stopping his assault on my core, rubbing me back and forth, causing my body to shudder and my hips to rock, taking what he was giving.

His lips parted like he was feeling everything I was when all he was doing was watching me come apart. For him and only him. His fingers worked me over, finding my g-spot, creating this longing, this intensity, this mind-blowing explosion all over my body. My back arched over the gas tank, my dress riding up, exposing his sweet torture. Allowing him to go faster and harder.

My heart continuing to beat rapidly, hammering in my head, and making me feel dizzy.

Lightheaded.

Overwhelmed by everything that was suddenly happening. Feeling as if I was being mentally torn in two directions.

His.

Ours.

My mind was in overdrive, putting up one hell of a fight with my heart.  

He roughly jerked my hair back to look into my eyes and spoke with conviction, “You’re fuckin’ mine. I claimed you.”

When our eyes locked together, it was all over, feeling his thumb manipulate my nub as his fingers continued to rub my sweet spot.

Bringing me right to the edge of the ledge, on the tips of my toes, about to free fall when I heard the horn from the train at noon sounding off a few blocks away. Pulling me back to the here and now. Getting louder and louder, ready to barrel through town, taking my heart away with it. I shook off the sudden unease and tried to focus on Noah’s touch, shoving away my feelings I told Doc about.

This moment, it was truly the end for me.

Right then and there like a wave washing me to shore with Noah’s hands pulling me under.