Chapter 13
“Now remember what the doctor said, pal, you need to take it easy for a few more days.” Jack repeated the doctor’s instructions to Jonathan as he carried him in the back door of Callie’s house. He’d been released from the hospital after a week there. “No running around and you need to take a nice long nap this afternoon.”
Jonathan tightened his arms around Jack’s neck. Holding his son like this would never get old. Luckily he’d been able to spend a good deal of time in the hospital with him. Victor had claimed he wasn’t good with sick people and had promised to check on the boy once he was home and feeling more himself. They had a small reprieve.
“Nap a me, Dahddy?”
His son’s words melted his heart, fusing some of the chipped pieces back together. Would it ever be whole again? Tightening his grip, he kissed his son’s face.
“I can lay down with you until you fall asleep, sure. As long as it’s good with your mom.”
He glanced at Callie whose face showed annoyance. Yeah, he hadn’t given her any say in the matter. If she said no, she’d look like the bad guy. Maybe that hadn’t been fair.
Throwing her an apologetic look, he gave her his most charming smile. She simply turned away and started fussing with the bag from the hospital. The last few days she’d been exceptionally quiet. Being upset about Jonathan’s hospitalization was understandable. Had his presence been accepted there by her simply because Jonathan kept asking for him to stay? At first she’d seemed happy enough to have his comfort. He’d needed hers too.
As the time passed she became more distant. Today she kept avoiding his eyes altogether. What the heck was going on in her mind? Scott and Heather were here though, so he wasn’t sure she’d say anything if he asked.
“I made a nice beef stew,” Heather announced as Scott grabbed bowls from the cabinet and set them on the table. “Jonathan needs something better than hospital food in his belly if he’s going to get back to himself again.”
Jack set his son on the booster seat and settled into the chair next to him. “Do you need any help, Heather?”
Scott waved him away, putting spoons on the table. “We’ve got it. You and Callie sit and be waited on for a change. I don’t think either one of you got a full night’s sleep combined over the last week. You both look like a strong wind could knock you over.”
Scott and Heather had been in and out of the hospital all week and had taken turns bringing items from Callie’s house. They’d also made it a point to get the house neat and tidy for when she got back so she could concentrate on Jonathan and not housework. Now they were making sure there was food in the house so Callie didn’t need to shop or cook.
“Thanks for doing all this, Heather, Scott. Appreciate it.”
Heather placed some bread on the table and patted his shoulder. “We’re family. It’s what we do. Now eat before it gets cold.”
Scott leaned over Heather’s shoulder and smirked. “Yes, mother.”
Heaviness weighed inside Jack at the teasing banter. What he wouldn’t give to have this scene on a daily basis with Callie and Jonathan. He sighed and gritted his teeth.
Conversation flitted around the table, mostly between Scott and Heather. Callie was quiet and mainly talked to Jonathan, encouraging him to eat. Jack spent the time running ideas and scenarios through his head. Ways to get information and people to talk to who wouldn’t give him away but might be helpful. None of it seemed to gel though. He’d been out of the business too long. Either that or he was too exhausted to come up with anything good right now.
Jonathan was drooping by the time the meal ended and he volunteered to put him in bed for a nap. Callie didn’t object so he brought the child upstairs, made him use the bathroom then shuffled him off to his bed.
“Dahddy, you seep.” Jonathan patted the bed next to him and Jack remembered he’d promised to lie down with him.
His son gazed up at him adoringly, his expression expectant. God, he loved seeing that look in his child’s eyes. Did he deserve it? Not really. When would Jonathan start realizing his dad wasn’t around as much as he should be? That adoring look would change to one of disdain, possibly even contempt. How would he handle it then?
Jonathan scooted over and Jack slipped onto the bed next to him. The child snuggled into his arms and closed his eyes. His own eyes were heavy but he forced them to stay open so he could look at his child a little longer. The love in his heart was expanding and spilling over, spreading through every part of him. He was always amazed at how this happened every time he saw him. The love kept growing and growing.
Tightening his arms, he pressed a kiss to Jonathan’s temple. “I love you, pal. I don’t ever want you to forget that.”
Jonathan’s eyes fluttered open staring straight at him. “Luh you, Dahddy.” The eyes drifted closed again, his breathing evening out.
Gritting his teeth, he closed his eyes. He’d be blubbering in a minute if he didn’t pull himself together. Seeing Jonathan had that effect on him. God, he’d been reduced to a pathetic excuse for a man, far too emotional and sensitive. Toughen up or you’ll be no use to anyone. Not that he was now. Being exhausted didn’t help.
* * * *
Jack blinked awake. He must have dozed off. Jonathan was still asleep next to him, his thumb hanging out of his mouth. Moving his hand to check his watch, he tried not to disturb the child. It had been a half hour since he’d come up here. Not surprising with the lack of sleep this past week.
It felt good lying next to his son, relaxing. Maybe he’d stay here for a while. What would it hurt? Turning his head, he looked around the room. Callie stood in the doorway, her expression melancholy.
He smiled, hoping she’d smile back. It lit up a room when it was full force. It didn’t even make it on her face now. She cocked her head in the direction of the hall then left the room. Guess she wanted to talk. The discussion topic was what made him nervous.
Disentangling himself from his son, he placed a soft kiss on his forehead before he left. Callie waited for him near the door to her room. Her face was pinched and her body rigid. This couldn’t be good.
“Inviting me in?” That’s right. Make light of the situation and maybe she’ll forget whatever bad news she’s about to lay on you. He waggled his eyebrows. “I’d accept.”
Releasing a shaky breath, she frowned. “No, Jack. I, um…”
She chewed on her bottom lip and Jack wanted to do the same. Her lips were delicious. Full, sweet and juicy, better than any fruit he’d ever had. Addicting as well.
“I don’t think you should be here.” Her voice was soft and fragile.
“I thought Victor said he wasn’t coming over for a few more days.”
“He isn’t. But I think it’s safer all around if you weren’t here.”
He reached out to touch her elbow but she stepped back avoiding it. “Callie, you know I’d never do anything–”
“But you have, Jack,” she cut him off. “We’ve had a few close calls lately and it’s because of you.”
“Calico.” His heart skipped a beat, knowing she was right, hating to admit it though.
She shook her head. “I know you would never intentionally bring harm to us, but this past week has been hell. Jonathan almost died.” Her voice squeaked on the last word and a sob escaped. “We don’t know if it was because of you or some freak accident. But the fact is it’s quite possibly because of you. I know I let you hang around all week and I was glad you were here. Jonathan needed you.”
Her gaze flitted around the hallway. “I won’t lie. I needed you, too.”
Looking down, she avoided his eyes again. She took a deep breath then glanced back up. “Jonathan got too used to you being here, though. You can’t stay around and it’s not fair to him to get his expectations up, thinking you’ll be here all the time. You can’t be. We both know that.”
Reluctantly he nodded. She was right. It didn’t stop the chainsaw massacre disemboweling his insides.
“I think it’s best if you left while he’s asleep. It’ll be hard enough to say good-bye if he’s awake.”
“Sure.” He swallowed hard and clenched his jaw. “Can I give him a last kiss before you toss me out?”
Her eyes filled with tears and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Don’t be like that. Of course you can.”
He took a few minutes to go back into Jonathan’s bedroom and stare at his son. Ruffling the hair on his forehead, he stroked his hand down the soft skin of his child’s face. Would Callie let him come back or was this it? Would it be the last time he saw his son? He was so young. Would he remember his father? Remember how much he loved him? Doubtful.
He bent down and kissed his son’s nose, cheek, then forehead. Despair ripped through him then red hot anger began to take its place. Getting up, he moved to the door, taking one last look. This wouldn’t be the last time he saw his son. He’d make sure of it.
Callie stood in the hallway leaning against the wall near her room. Arms still crossed over her chest, she watched as he walked toward her.
“I’ll still send you pictures and e-mails to tell you how he’s doing. I don’t want to keep you out of his life. But you can’t keep coming around, potentially bringing danger here. Do you understand, Jack? I can’t deal with the stress of it. It’s too much for me.”
She was stronger than she realized but he wouldn’t tell her that now. Her mind was made up and he wasn’t likely to change it.
“Thanks for all you’ve done.” Not sure the graciousness came out in his words, but being unable to see Jonathan or her was cutting into him deeply. He took a step closer and her eyes flew up, nervously.
“Jack, I don’t think it’s a good idea. Just—”
“Just leave.” The fury inside built higher. “I need something to get me through the cold, lonely winter, Callie. It’s the least you could do.”
There was no opportunity to refuse. Sliding one hand into her hair, he grabbed her waist with the other, pulling her closer. Closing his lips over hers, he attacked and conquered. Moving her hands to his chest, she pressed against him. Not pushing him away hard but certainly striving for some distance. No, he didn’t care. He needed this, her.
His thrust his tongue inside her mouth and a small moan escaped from her lips. It spurred him on and he slid his hand from her waist inside the back of her pants to caress her firm ass. Grinding his hips into hers, he pushed her against the wall. Could she feel his arousal? It was getting harder by the second. You’re being a bastard. Sure. But she’d said it would be awful for her to have him then lose him again. Maybe this would make her hate him. Make it easier to deal with his absence.
He ran his hand from her hair down her neck and kneaded her breast. The nipple puckered in his palm letting him know she was aroused as well. When he squeezed the tight bud, a whimper made its way from her mouth.
He pulled away, disgusted at his behavior, unable to believe he’d acted this way. Keep up the charade. Make her despise you.
Groping her one last time, he smirked as he took a step back. “Not as satisfying as I wanted but it’ll have to do. Scott and Heather are downstairs. Unless you want to go into the bedroom and we can have a quickie.”
Her face crumpled and her lower lip trembled. God, he hated himself. Turning, he practically ran down the stairs. His cousin sat in the living room chatting with Heather.
“Come on, let’s go. I need a ride to get my truck from the hospital.”
Scott looked confused. “Now?”
The scowl he threw his cousin brooked no argument. He grabbed his coat and slipped it on, turning back to Heather. “Make sure she’s all right, huh?”
“I always do, Jack.” She didn’t ask any questions. Never did.
Scott got his coat and followed Jack out the back door. Unfortunately he didn’t have the same quality as Heather. “What the heck happened? Everything was great and all of a sudden you’re flying out the door like you can’t get away fast enough.”
He got in Scott’s car and slammed the door. Once Scott was settled he stared at Jack.
“Callie doesn’t think it’s a good idea for me to be around Jonathan.”
“What? For now or forever?”
He took a deep breath, wishing he knew the answer. Shrugging he said, “Drive.”
Scott started the car and pulled onto the road. He’d been an ass and he hated himself right now. The hurt look on Callie’s face as he walked away haunted him. He never wanted to see it again. But at least this way she wouldn’t regret what she couldn’t have.
“Find a package store, Scott. I need a case of beer.”
He hadn’t had much to drink in the past few years. Hadn’t wanted to let down his guard. Maybe Scott would take him to his place and watch over him. Tonight he’d give in to the pain and despair until he passed out. Then tomorrow, he’d have to start thinking of more drastic measures to rid the world of Victor Cabrini.
* * * *
Jack watched as the dark-skinned man parked his car and headed through the alley toward his home. He hated doing this close to where his ex-partner lived but he’d been following him all day and there hadn’t been any other opportunity.
Creeping up behind Steve, he grabbed him by the shoulders, throwing him against the brick wall of a nearby garage. Steve immediately went into defense posture but Jack was ready for him. The advantage of surprise. Plus he had so much more at stake.
Steve struggled as Jack pushed on the arm he had against the man’s neck. Surprise and a little anger filled his eyes when he saw who it was.
“Jack? What the hell? You scared the crap out of me, man. Let me go.”
“Not yet, Steve. I need to know what the fuck is going on.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Loosen the grip, man.”
He leaned in closer. “The last two times I was with you, I had a few problems later. Care to explain that?”
“You told me about the shooting in Central Park but I had nothing to do with it. I told you I’d gone to a birthday party for my kid right after I left you. You didn’t even go to the park until a few hours later.”
Steve’s face was red, lack of oxygen or guilt? How much could Jack believe? One time could be coincidence, but two? Easing off slightly, he kept his guard up.
“Last time I saw you I got a call saying my son was sick. When I showed up at the hospital, there were cops at the entrance, like they were waiting for me.”
“There are always cops at hospitals, Jack,” Steve sputtered. “What the hell makes you think they were there for you?”
He drilled his ex-partner with his gaze. “They were Jersey cops. The hospital is in Connecticut. Kind of a long ride for an injured perp.”
“You never told me the hospital he was in.” Steve pushed at his arm and he backed off.
“No, I guess I didn’t, though it wouldn’t have been too hard to know where I’d go if you were the one who poisoned my son.”
“Poisoned?” Steve’s eyes grew wide. “That’s what made him sick. How is he now? What happened?”
“He’s doing better.” Fear still radiated through his body reliving when Jonathan had first gotten sick. “But he ingested rat poison. Callie doesn’t have any in the house and it was after some social event at a nearby church they always go to.”
Steve’s eyes narrowed. “And you think I’d give a kid rat poison? Are you out of your friggin’ mind? That could kill him.”
“No shit. He was bleeding internally. He almost died. He was there for a week before he was well enough to go home. I want the bastard who did this to him. Someone knows he’s my son and is using him to get to me.”
“I swear, Jack, I never told anyone. And I make sure no one’s around when I talk to you on the phone.”
“And you’re sure your phone isn’t bugged?”
Steve pulled his phone out of his pocket. “It’s Bureau issued. They usually take care of that.”
“But if there’s someone in the Bureau who’s in Cabrini’s pocket, it’s likely someone has access to your phone calls.” He hadn’t thought of that possibility until this moment but now it scared him even more.
“I can’t call you anymore. Can’t take the risk. Even your home phone could be bugged. Someone looking for me would know I’d call you if I needed anything.”
“God, Jack. I’m sorry, man. I never even thought of that. You know I’d never hurt a kid. I have two of my own. I’d rip out the heart of anyone who tried to harm them.”
He still wasn’t sure he trusted Steve but the man he’d been partners with would never have hurt a child. This was one more mystery he might never find the answer to.
“I guess I’ll have to finish this off on my own since the Bureau has done shit to put Victor away.”
Starting to walk away, he was still aware of exactly where Steve stood. The trust was tenuous at best. When Steve moved toward him, he tensed.
“Jack, don’t do anything stupid. Cabrini is powerful. You know that more than anyone. Getting yourself killed isn’t going to help anybody, certainly not your son or his mother.”
“You’re right, Steve, my death won’t accomplish anything. Unless Cabrini comes along with me.”
He walked away more determined than ever to get Cabrini out of Callie and Jonathan’s life. Whether it ended his own or not was yet to be determined.