Chapter 2
Eight months later
An infant’s cry broke the stillness of the maternity ward as Jack crept through the hallway. He looked toward the nursery. Should he go there first or to where Callie was? The room was less risky and he needed to see her. Assure himself she was okay.
The door was ajar so he slipped through, closing it enough to allow a sliver of light to filter in. He made out the petite shape of the sleeping woman then saw the bassinet next to her. His breath left his body. The baby was here with her.
Stepping closer, he looked down on the clear container, the blue tag proclaiming this child to be a boy. Squinting in the dim light, he read the words. Mother’s name: Callina Lansing. Baby: Jonathan.
Jonathan. She’d named the baby after him. A lump clogged his throat. A son. Damn. He had a son and wouldn’t be able to get to know him, see him grow, share in his life. This fucking world was too cruel at times.
He shouldn’t take the chance but he needed to hold him. It was vital that he touch the life he and Callie had created. He wanted—no needed—to let his child know how much he loved him. The powerful emotion emanated from his heart even as he gazed down at the tiny figure. How could love grow this fast? His first glimpse was only a second ago. Now the feeling consumed him.
Reaching down, he stroked the side of his son’s face. The baby turned his head, his bow-shaped lips opening slightly. Jack’s heart beat faster. The protective instincts that had always come into play when he was around Callie, throbbed to life and expanded as he gazed at the sweet face of his son. Heat like an electric storm surged through his blood. How could he protect this child in his current situation? He’d bring more danger upon him if he hung around. Eight months of running, trying to escape the long arm of Victor Cabrini, had shown him what hell was. Now he glimpsed a small piece of heaven.
He slid his hands under the infant, lifting him from the bed to hold him close. Jonathan barely weighed anything. His heart constricted yet again. The innocent baby scent wafted into his nostrils and he blinked back the moisture filling his eyes. The reaction was primitive and territorial. This was his son.
Their child’s eyes opened but no cry erupted so Jack relaxed. It shook him to the core knowing Callie had named the baby after him. After deserting her, she had every right to hate him. As much as he hated himself. Leaving her hadn’t been in his plans but the choice had been ripped away from him. It had taken a while to recover from the stabbing. Then the fuck-up by the Bureau had happened.
He stared again at the unfocused eyes of his son, his forehead touching that of the infant’s. Kissing his face, he absorbed every little facet he could. Who knew if he’d ever see him again?
Gazing at the sleeping woman, her innocent face relaxed in slumber, caused more pain to rip through his heart. Her dark hair, streaked with natural reds and golds, was a riot of curls that framed her peaceful face. Long lashes fanned over high cheekbones, highlighting the lovely structure of her eyes. His beautiful Calico Cat.
Had the pregnancy and labor been hard? She must have looked amazing, all round and filled with his child. Regret tore through him, anger warring with that emotion. Anger that his life had been stolen from him. He’d been fighting to get it back, but didn’t seem any closer now than he’d been eight months ago.
Jonathan let out a small mewing sound and Jack snuggled him close. “I’m right here, pal. I might not be around much but I wanted to let you know…I love you very much.” His voice cracked with emotion. “I’m your dad.”
He had a son. Was now a father. But he couldn’t be a father—not in the way that it mattered. He’d swore he’d be better than his dad. But this—he’d be worse. As it began to sink in, his hands shook with the enormity of the situation.
A noise from Callie drew his eyes to the bed. She shouldn’t see him. It was too dangerous. Still he wasn’t ready to give up holding his son quite yet. You might as well rip his heart from his chest and throw it on the floor.
Not wanting to startle her, he sat gently on the edge of the bed.
“Callie,” he whispered.
* * * *
Callie woke, every muscle in her southern region screaming in protest. She forced her eyes open, though the fatigue fought to keep them closed. At the sight of someone sitting on the bed holding the baby, fear clutched her insides. Her breath caught when recognition dawned.
“Jack?” She kept her voice low. “What are you doing here?”
Her gaze flashed to the door then back to his unbelievably handsome face. How could he be sitting here in her hospital room after all this time? Eight long months of trying to find him, to tell him they’d created a child and it was growing inside her. He’d disappeared from her life like she hadn’t mattered but now he was back.
Her eyes burned as she glared at him. He lowered his face, kissing Jonathan on the head then looked up, his eyes shining, his expression one of agony. Oh, God. Her anger melted like chocolate in the sun. His love for the baby was already apparent. How could she be upset with him? She placed her hand on Jonathan’s head, not daring to touch Jack.
“You shouldn’t be here. Victor was around earlier. He hasn’t stopped his search for you. He’s vowed to find Angelo’s killer, his chauffeur, Matt Waters. You.”
Jack’s arms tightened around her son. Their son. She wanted to take the baby in her arms for comfort, her comfort. Jack hadn’t been around, hadn’t been there to help her through this pregnancy or the delivery. She knew why, but it didn’t make her anger lessen. Because of him she was in a precarious place with Victor Cabrini.
But Jack was here now, staring at their child as if he’d never seen anything more precious. The tears playing in the corners of his eyes testified to his grief. She couldn’t deny him a few minutes with their son, but it was delusional to think everything would be great and they could start playing house together.
“Victor’s not here right now,” Jack pointed out, his voice gruff. “It’s three in the morning, Calico.”
Warmth flooded her body as he said her pet name. He’d only ever used it when they were alone together.
“I made it a point not to be seen coming in here. Had to see you…and the baby. Apologize.”
“What are you apologizing for? That you left me playing your little spy games? That you didn’t get me out of this mess even though you and your FBI pals said you would? Or for enticing me and getting me pregnant to begin with?”
“Enticing you? I tried to be professional, Calico. You’re too damned beautiful and sweet.”
He had been professional. She’d been the one to insist she sit up front and chat as he drove her to work. The one to invite him over to watch movies with her. To snuggle up to him as they sat on the couch and watched. He’d made her feel safe. It had simply been a matter of time before the chemistry between them exploded.
She’d known Angelo was using her to hide his sexual preferences from his dad. She hadn’t cared at first because his father seemed incredibly nice and warm when she’d met him. They’d both made her feel like part of a family. Her own parents had never been that way. She hadn’t expected to find the men worked for the mob.
Looking back, she should have skipped town and not gone to the police. Or dropped them a note as she hightailed it out of Dodge. She gazed at Jack holding the baby. The one she wouldn’t have if she’d done that. This child had stolen her heart as soon as she saw him.
Jack glanced at the tag on the small crib. “You named him Jonathan.”
Callie rested her hand along the baby’s head, slyly touching Jack’s arm. The heat was instantaneous. “After his father.”
His mouth tightened and his eyes shuttered. He was hiding his emotions but Callie had always been able to read him, much to his chagrin.
“I’m honored. You have so many reasons to hate me.”
She wasn’t sure she could ever hate Jack though she’d cursed him often. He was the reason she’d agreed to stay friends with Angelo. She’d felt safe with him around.
“What happened between you and Angelo? I never got the whole story. Victor’s a bit biased in his opinion. He doesn’t know you’re FBI though.”
“Was FBI,” he muttered and his voice grew harsh. “I haven’t had much to do with them lately. They’ve got a leak and I can’t trust anyone there.”
“Haven’t they had you in protective custody? What happened?” All this time she’d pictured him holed up in some fancy FBI hideaway.
Jack’s face hardened but his arms remained gentle with their son. “Protective custody was a joke. My first few locations were compromised so I had to protect myself. It’s why I couldn’t contact you. I wanted to.”
He held out his free hand but stopped inches from her face. Did she want him to touch her? Yes. No. Her mind was too muddled to know what she wanted.
Jack looked around the room as if trying to make a decision. To tell her the truth?
“Why did you kill Angelo?”
“He knew you were pregnant. Some doctor friend.”
The same one who had blabbed to Victor before she could disappear. It showed her how huge his reach was.
“He saw me coming from your house that last morning. He was furious.”
“He knew about us? Was jealous? We were friends, that’s it, regardless of what his father thought.”
“He had plans for you and an unplanned pregnancy didn’t fit in with them. He tried to kill me. I got him in self-defense.”
Callie’s stomach plummeted and her breath stopped. “He…oh, my God. Were you hurt?”
“Not as bad as Angelo.” He shrugged. Typical Jack, downplaying his injury.
“What were these plans he had for me?” Angelo had always been sweet to her, but if he worked for the mob, he obviously had a darker side.
“It doesn’t matter. He’s dead.” Jack’s face was like granite. He was done talking about the subject.
“Where have you been all this time?”
“Running. Hiding. Victor put a hit out on me.” He averted his gaze as if embarrassed. He’d want to face this head on, but Victor was too powerful, even for someone like Jack.
She let out the breath she didn’t realize she was still holding. “No one’s been helping you all this time.”
“My cousin, Scott, and a few guys from my Army unit. They’re the only ones I trust right now. They’ve helped move me around the country, keep me safe, but unfortunately haven’t been able to get me any closer to putting Victor away.”
Jack had talked often about his cousin. They’d been raised like brothers after Scott’s parents died.
He pressed his nose against the infant, breathing deeply. “He’s beautiful, Calico. Like his mother.” His voice changed, became rougher. “Victor thinks the baby is Angelo’s, huh?”
“Yeah, I couldn’t tell him the child’s father was the man who killed his son. Or even suggest that I’d been seeing someone else. He’d have been furious. I couldn’t win either way.”
He moved closer, the proximity making her dizzy, unsure. His hair was longer now than the last time she’d seen him and she ached to run her fingers through the dark unruly locks. Longed to touch his face and scrape her knuckles across the stubble on his chin. Shivers flittered through her at the memory of it against her bare skin.
“You were seeing another man, Calico. Me. I shouldn’t have put you in that kind of danger.”
“Maybe not, but you weren’t alone in that relationship. I wanted it too.” She’d admit to being angry at first, but what choice did he have? “Are they any closer to putting Victor away?”
“I don’t think so. My contact with the Bureau is sporadic. The official word is I’ve gone rogue after killing Angelo. That won’t change until we can find the agent in Victor’s pocket.”
Callie’s eyes blurred. “I was able to move here to Connecticut so I don’t see Victor all that often. With the baby, I have a feeling I’ll see him more.”
“Which means I have to stay away. It’s too dangerous to be anywhere near you or Jonathan. I hate this.”
Agony rang in his tone. She wanted to rage at the unfairness of it. Jack was Jonathan’s father. He should be able to watch him grow up. Unless Victor was taken down, that would never happen.
Jack snuggled the baby close, his breathing uneven and rough. She brushed the hair back from his forehead as he sighed.
“I hate the fact that he won’t know who I am. Won’t know how much I love him and want to be a good father to him.”
His words faltered and Callie’s heart shattered along with his. They were powerless to stop it. She’d never known if her parents loved her. They’d been so involved in their adventurous lifestyle that they hadn’t spent much time with her. Had they ever said they loved her? Not that she remembered. Jonathan was barely hours old and already Jack was saying it.
“He’ll know, Jack.” This might be a foolish decision but she never wanted her son to feel unloved—by either parent. She caressed Jack’s cheek, the familiar stubble rough against her fingers. How she’d missed it. “I’ll make sure to tell him. Every day.”
He curled into her hand, kissing the palm. “Thank you, Calico.” Digging his free hand into his pocket, he pulled out a phone then aimed it at his son, clicking a few buttons.
She took the phone, snapped some pictures of Jack with the baby, then sent them to her phone. “I’ll print these out and show him all the time. He’ll know who you are.”
He scowled. “It’s too dangerous to have them.”
“I’ll keep them under lock and key. And I’ll send more as he grows.”
Jack let out a shaky breath, closing his eyes. “It’s killing me to think I might not see him again.”
“Maybe not in person but he’ll know who his father is. And once you put Victor away…” She could only hope that happened soon.
Lowering his head, he whispered, “I love you, Jonathan. Don’t ever forget that.”
How she wished he’d said those words to her. Hesitating, he handed the baby over, bent for a final kiss on the child’s head, then started to move away.
She reached out to stop him. “Be careful, Jack.”
He leaned in to kiss her cheek but she wanted more. Turning her face, she captured his lips with hers. Molten lava flared inside, surprising her with its intensity. But then this was Jack. He’d always gotten that reaction from her.
Loneliness consumed her as he stood up. Lifting his phone, he took a few more pictures then backed away.
“Take care of our son.”
His angular jaw tightened, his gray eyes clouded. Another deep sigh and he was gone.
Had her heart left with him? She looked down at the sleeping child in her arms. No, it hadn’t. A small piece was with Jack but he’d left a large part of himself with her. Right here in the form of their beautiful son.