Chapter 31

“Where are the boys?” Julian asked, now back inside the condo. “Why did you call me? Because of Meredith?”

The key Meredith had just returned to him felt heavy and cold in his palm.

“Your friend Pete was here. He just walked in. How many keys to your place have you given out?”

“Did he take Seth and Eli?”

“He said he was taking them home.”

Blood rushed to his ears and no words came out of his mouth.

“Julian, Pete was here. He saw me.”

“I forgot he had a key. I can’t believe I forgot.”

“What matters is that he knows.”

“What did you tell him?”

“I didn’t tell him anything. Julian?” Tatiana went up to him. “How bad is it that he knows? Will he go to the cops?”

“Pack your things.” Julian ran into his bedroom and entered his closet. “You can’t be here.”

“You’re throwing me out?” she asked, following him. “You know I don’t have anywhere to go.”

“I’m taking you to Hazel’s.” Julian came out with an envelope in his hand. He put it in his pocket. “We can’t trust Pete. Grace told him the boys are mine.”

He made his way to the bedroom where Tatiana was staying and started to open and close the dresser’s drawers. “Where the hell are your things?” he asked when he found them empty.

“I’m not staying there.”

“It’s the only other place I can take you.”

“I’m not going.”

“Listen to me, Tatiana. If you don’t do exactly what I say the police will find you here and there’s nothing I can do to protect you. Your husband will eventually kill you and use the fact you’ve gone missing in the past as a cover-up. Please, Tatiana, let me get you out of here.”

“I can’t stay with Hazel.”

“It’s just for a couple of days until we can come up with a better plan.”

Tatiana shook her head.

“Just for a couple of days,” Julian repeated.

“You promise?” she asked, resolve in her voice.

“I promise. Now, get your things. We need to leave.”

Tatiana grabbed a plastic bag from the nightstand table. “I’m ready.”

“That’s it?”

“I don’t have anything else.”

She wore one of his t-shirts and a faded pair of gray sweatpants. He pointed at her bare feet. “How about shoes?”

She shook her head.

Julian got one of his hoodies and passed it to her. “Put this on and cover your head. When we step out, look down. Make sure your face can’t be seen by any of the security cameras.”

As they walked out of the condo, Julian texted Grace with the news that Peter had picked up Seth and Eli. He told himself over and over again that the boys were safe, and if Peter did act on his anger, Julian would be the target, not the twins.

Julian and Tatiana got into the empty elevator and Julian scanned the key that gained him access to the garage. Tatiana kept her eyes on the floor. The sweatshirt was big and the hood covered her whole face.

“Why were you and Meredith fighting?”

“Ask her.”

“Tatiana—”

“Ask her,” she insisted, more forcefully this time.

Julian unlocked his car and opened the trunk. “It’s the only safe way I can get you out of here.”

She lay down on the floor of the trunk. “It’s not my first time.”

He closed the trunk and got behind the wheel. He checked his rearview mirror and saw a late nineties dark blue Ford sedan. Driving around the city while being followed by the police made it hard for him to concentrate. Now, with Tatiana hiding in the trunk, it became even harder. Sweat pooled on his lower back.

When he stopped at a red light on his way to Bridgeport, he checked the rearview mirror again. The unmarked police car still followed him. His phone beeped and he jumped in his seat. Grace had just replied to his message—she didn’t know where Peter and the boys were.

He needed to calm down, Julian told himself as he wiped his brow. He raised the AC inside of the car. The driver behind him pressed the horn and Julian cursed, accelerating out of the intersection.

As Julian pulled into Hazel’s garage, he glanced at the rearview mirror again and he saw the dark blue Ford sedan drive by. He turned off the engine and waited for the garage door to come down.

Inside, Julian maneuvered his body through the tight space between the car and the concrete wall. No sounds came from the house or the street beyond the old garage door. Julian unlocked the trunk.

“It’s about time,” Tatiana said as she climbed out.

“Pete didn’t take the boys home. We don’t know where they are.”

“Do you think he’d hurt them?”

“No,” he paused, trying to collect himself. “Of course not. Those boys mean the world to him.”

“You need to take it easy, OK?” Tatiana spoke as if she feared he would break down in front of her. “They’re safe.”

“What if they’re not?”

“Stop. Don’t let your mind go there. Have you called Grace?”

“I texted her and she—” He stopped when he heard his phone beep. He hurriedly grabbed it from his pocket. “It’s her again.”

“What did she say?”

“They’re home.” Julian exhaled with relief. “They’re all home.”

“See? Everything’s alright.” Tatiana tried to sound reassuring, but Julian heard concern in her voice.

“I need to talk to you before I take you into the house.” He took the envelope out of his pocket and, glad they couldn’t see each other in the dark of the garage, put the envelope in her hand. “Here’s ten thousand dollars in cash. If I call you on your cell phone or text you the word busy it means it’s no longer safe for you to stay here. You get on the first bus out of Chicago and you lay low for a while. Use the money to survive.”

He closed his fingers around hers, tightening her grasp on the envelope. “Take the money.”

“Where did you get it from?”

“It doesn’t matter. Take it.”

Keeping his hands on hers, he felt her fold the envelope and put it in her pocket.

“The police followed us here,” he continued. “When we go inside the house you stay away from the windows. Understand?”

“I’ll be careful.”

“Another thing, it might be hard for you, but don’t antagonize Hazel. She becomes angry and it leads to screaming, crying fits. Think of it as a child having a tantrum. A really bad one. Whatever she says, whatever she asks, you keep that in mind.”

“Do I have to see her?”

“It’s her house. She spends a lot of time in bed but she still gets up and moves around. She’s mentally sick, not crippled.”

“Anything else?”

“She has a live-in caregiver, Carla. Do not tell her anything.”

“Do you trust this Carla?”

“I trust her to take care of Hazel. I don’t trust her not to mention to anyone that I brought over a woman who looks like she barely survived the streets of Chicago.”

“I’ve been barely surviving you.”

“Listen, I’m—”

“Is there anything else?” Tatiana asked. “I’m starving and my feet hurt. I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”

“You don’t have to do anything. Just keep your mouth shut.”

“Fine. But don’t forget your promise to me—a couple of days.”

“I never break my word.”

He expected Tatiana to challenge him but she remained silent.

“Here, use the flashlight on my phone to see where you’re stepping. This garage hasn’t been cleaned in years.” He passed his phone to her. “I’ll follow you.”

They started to make their way toward the door that would take them into the house.

“Maybe Hazel won’t know who I am. We don’t have to tell her.”

“She appears to have an uncanny ability to remember the past. I didn’t recognize you when I saw you but I suspect Hazel will.”

They entered the house. “It’s late. She’ll be in bed,” Julian said as he removed his shoes.

He turned on the kitchen light. As he was opening one of the cupboards, he saw Hazel’s caregiver coming down the stairs.

“Hi Carla, how’s Hazel?” he asked, noticing the surprised look she gave Tatiana, who stood in the middle of the kitchen, holding her plastic bag.

“She’s in bed,” Carla replied. “She had a good day. She asked for you, as usual.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t have a chance to come over earlier.”

“It’s not like it’ll make that much of a difference for her, right?”

“Right,” Julian answered with a sigh.

The loud ticking of the wall clock stood out in the now silent kitchen.

Carla smiled at Tatiana. “I’m Carla, Julian’s mom’s caregiver.”

Tatiana hesitated. “I’m Julian’s foster sister.”

Carla’s smile widened. “You’re family then. Does Julian’s mom know you?”

“She’ll be staying here for a day or two.” Julian jumped in. He hoped he didn’t look as nervous as Tatiana did. “Do you know where I can find some sheets for the bed in the spare bedroom?”

“I’ll take care of that,” Carla replied, already leaving the kitchen. “It looked like you were searching for food when I came down. I went grocery shopping today so there should be plenty.”

Julian watched Carla walk up the stairs. When he could no longer hear her, he turned to Tatiana. “Foster sister?”

“Not a lie.” Tatiana opened the fridge and peeked inside. “I didn’t tell her my name. What do I say when she asks?”

“She won’t. She’s about to get a substantial raise.”

Tatiana closed the fridge door. “There’s nothing in there I can eat. I just want to shower.”

“You can’t afford to be a vegan now. Eat whatever you can get your hands on. I’m sure there’s chicken or tuna. Have you looked at yourself?”

Tatiana pulled out a chair and sat down. “Are you telling me to abandon my morals?”

“I’m telling you to eat.”

“Telling me to eat chicken or tuna is the same as telling me to abandon my morals.”

“My god, Tatiana, I’m sure you won’t go to hell for eating some defenseless animals.”

“I don’t believe in hell or heaven.” She looked at Julian and frowned. “Don’t look at me like I’m crazy. I know what I believe—unless my beliefs change, of course.”

“Any chance of your beliefs changing tonight?”

Tatiana left the table and Julian rested his forehead on one of the cupboard doors. He and Tatiana could not go back to fighting with each other the way they did after Sofia’s death.

About fifteen minutes later, Tatiana returned from a shower and Julian slid a bowl down the table, toward her. “Vegetable soup. Came from a can, but it’s vegan. Not a threat to your high morals.”

She sat down, grabbed the spoon, and started to eat. “How bad is it with Pete?” she asked between mouthfuls.

“Bad. He knows too much and he’s angry at me for what I did.”

“What exactly does he know?”

“He knows about the club and what I do there.”

“Everything you do there?”

“Pete is as vanilla as they come,” Julian replied. “He thinks I’m into BDSM, edge-play. I never tried to correct him.”

“How about the club? Does he know details, how it operates?”

“Of course not.”

“But you told Meredith.”

“I took her there. That was all.”

“Do you think Pete would really go to the police?”

“Why wouldn’t he?”

“He’s your friend.”

“Not anymore.”

“You need to talk to him,” Tatiana said as she chewed. “Make him see your side of the story. Tell him you’re trying to protect me, how much you care. Does he know how you came to know Sofia and me? What happened then?”

Julian drummed his fingers on the tabletop. “Parts of it.”

“Good. Remind him of it. Don’t hold back on the details. Lay it on thick. Make him feel sorry for you, empathize with you. Telling him that you need him might be a good idea, too. Make yourself look vulnerable. It will make him feel powerful by comparison and that might be all he needs.”

“I don’t need to make myself look vulnerable.” There was a hint of despair in Julian’s voice. “I already am. Giving him more power over me when he’s this furious is basically just asking him to destroy my life.”

“How about Grace? Can she help you keep Pete quiet? No one likes a cheater.”

“I don’t want to involve her in any of this.”

“Pete might have already done that for you.”

The t-shirt she wore was absorbing the water that dripped from her wet hair. It made it impossible for Julian not to notice the shape of her breasts.

“Stop!” Tatiana shouted, startling Julian. “Stop drumming your fingers on the table. You always do that when you’re nervous. Drives me crazy.”

Julian brought his hands together. “I do it without realizing. It’s not on purpose.”

“Just stop, OK?”

“Grace asked me if I wanted shared custody of the boys.”

“And?”

The prospect of being a father to Seth and Eli gave Julian hope. He needed to hold on to that emotion. “I want to.”

Tatiana smiled. “You’ll have your own family.”

“First, I have to tell her about the club and why I go there.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because Pete’s going to tell her if he hasn’t already, and it will be better if it comes from me. I can make sure she gets the truth and not some perverted tale Pete’s built in his mind. Also, because she’s the mother of my children. We’ll be raising Seth and Eli together. She needs to know.”

“No, she doesn’t. You need Grace to know, which is different. Telling her will make you feel better but it will also force her to make your secrets her own. If Pete’s already opened his mouth you can deny it—he has no proof—and, if everything else fails, you know the people who can help you manage Pete.”

“You have a distorted way of looking at things, do you know that?”

“Don’t tell her, Julian. You made that mistake with Meredith.”

They grew silent. With only the stove light on, they sat in near darkness.

“When can I leave this house?” Tatiana asked.

“I said a couple of days. Not an hour or two.”

“Maybe I can stay with Meredith?”

“Have you forgotten what happened earlier?”

“You should have stayed out of it,” Tatiana said. “We would have figured it out.”

“By hitting each other? I don’t think so.”

“Steven spoke with her.”

Julian looked at Tatiana with alarm. “What? When?”

“He made Meredith doubt me. I can’t believe she’d doubt me.”

“Why didn’t you—”

“Tatiana, you came to see me,” Hazel said from the kitchen door, interrupting Julian. Her attention fell on Tatiana.

Between Hazel’s mental state and Tatiana’s temperament, Julian couldn’t predict what might unfold next.

“You’re looking better than I thought you would,” Tatiana replied, her voice clipped.

“Must be all the rest I get.” Hazel slowly made her way to the table, pulled out the empty chair and lowered herself into it. “I don’t want to fall asleep. Not yet. Julian will come to see me.”

Tatiana frowned at him. He gave a small shake of his head, warning her not to comment on what Hazel had just said.

“I see that you’ve eaten something.” Hazel reached for the empty bowl in front of Tatiana. “That’s not enough. No wonder you’re skin and bones. There are burgers in the freezer. Carla picks them up at the butcher. I get these cravings for burgers, you know, not all the time but sometimes. They’re good. Go make one.”

“I only eat fruit and vegetables,” Tatiana said.

“Not the last time you were here,” Hazel replied.

Julian turned to Tatiana. “When were you here?”

“Who are you?” Hazel asked Julian. She sounded irritated by his interruption.

He didn’t acknowledge Hazel’s question. “When were you here?” he persisted.

“She just asked you who you were,” Tatiana replied. “She doesn’t know what she’s saying.”

He turned on his chair and took hold of Hazel’s hand. “I’m a friend of your son, Julian. Remember me? I come to see you almost every day and bring you messages from him. I tell you how he’s doing.”

“Oh, yes, I remember,” Hazel smiled. “Is he coming to see me?”

“Not tonight.” Julian caressed her hand. “When was the last time Tatiana was here to see you? Julian would like to know.”

He glanced at Tatiana from the corner of his eye. She muttered something under her breath but he ignored it.

“Julian was in med school…I don’t remember what month it was but I know it was summer. He had gone up north with his friend, what’s his name?” Hazel paused, “Pete, that’s it,” she continued. “Nice young man. They were at his cottage. Pretty place. Never been but I’ve seen pictures.”

He was about to dismiss Hazel’s story as mere delusion but Tatiana’s dismayed expression encouraged him to pursue it. “What did she want?”

“Food, a place to stay. But what she really wanted was Julian. She came looking for him. I let her stay, you know.” Hazel faced Tatiana, who in turn stared at her own nails. “I liked having you around. You had plans, goals, and that told me you were a girl after my own heart. I never touched the money you sent me. I gave you that money. It wasn’t a loan. I still have it and I want to give it back to you.”

Julian wanted to press Hazel for answers but she wasn’t the person from whom he wanted to hear them. “Speak to me, Tatiana. What happened?”

“When I called the restaurant they told me you had left,” Hazel persisted. “You didn’t like it there?”

“Got a serving job in the Loop.” Tatiana didn’t raise her eyes from her nails. “Good tips.”

“C’mon, Tatiana,” Julian continued. “Tell me. I’ll find out eventually. Hazel here can be very talkative when she feels like it, but I’d rather you to be the one to tell me.”

“I got Hazel’s address from a letter she had sent to my aunt.” Tatiana started to scrape drops of dried soup from the tabletop with her fingers. “She wanted to know how Sofia and I were doing. I had had enough of Lawrence so I got on a bus and showed up at her doorstep. I expected her to tell me to turn around and drag my sorry ass back to my aunt’s. But, she didn’t and for that, she had my immediate respect. That’s when I found out she had adopted you. It sounded like you were doing really well for yourself.”

Julian couldn’t find his voice.

“And, that’s the thing. When I got here I was sure I wouldn’t be going anywhere until I saw you but, after talking to Hazel, I realized I needed to leave. You were no longer a druggie getting in shit with the cops and turning tricks for money. You had a good future ahead of you, all the things you and I never had.”

Julian watched her as she continued to scrape the tabletop, even after the stain was gone.

“I wanted that for you,” she said. “I still do.”

Julian felt a tightening in his chest.

“I made a choice,” she continued. “I packed up my things, said goodbye to Hazel, and took everything she offered me. That same day I rented an apartment here in Chicago. I stocked up my fridge, bought new clothes. I have no regrets.”

“You shouldn’t have regrets,” Julian had to clear his throat before he could continue. “That was brave of you, though.”

“It comes with being eighteen.”

He let go of Hazel and approached Tatiana. He waited for her to look up at him. She took her time. At first, it was a suspicious glance through the corner of her eye but then she lifted her head and met his stare.

He kneeled beside Tatiana. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and brought her closer to his chest. She didn’t hug him back but she didn’t try to push him away either.

“Thank you for coming back for me,” he whispered into her ear.