Natasha

I’ve been back for two days, and I haven’t done it yet. I haven’t walked up to my parents’ front door, and rung that bell. Aiden tells me to take my time, but I feel guilty. Even with him putting Ellie on the phone to tell me she’s fine with him staying with me as long as I need him to, I feel bad about keeping him from his wife, and his life back in Vegas.

Living in D.C., you learn that sometimes it’s nice to get lost in the crowds. To blend in, and disappear. That’s what I’ve done as I’ve tried to work out my life, and what I’m going to do with it.

I visited the International Spy Museum, which amused me to no end. It always has, with its displays and info. I can’t say how much is accurate—once a spy, always a spy—but I enjoyed seeing everyone’s reactions to it all. Children who crawled through an air duct, and parents who tried to remember the fake identities they picked when they walked in, along with everyone else having fun pretending to save the world.

I popped in and out of various Smithsonian museums yesterday, something I hadn’t done in years. I can honestly say I enjoyed it all, even though I’ve seen most of the displays more times than I can count.

Today, it’s all about the National Mall. I’ve walked it back and forth, stopping to pay my respects at every memorial. Right now, I’m on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, silently asking that wise man for his advice. I’m not left alone with my thoughts for long.

“Really, Nat? Hanging out here?”

I look up, and smirk at Tim. He’s as disguised as he can be, without making it obvious, but I’d know him anywhere. I spot various members of his team spread out around us, and nod.

“Nice job blending in.”

“Don’t divert.”

“I’m not on a specific timeline, or deadline.”

“No, but the longer you wait to do it, the harder it will be.”

“Speaking from experience?”

“Yes.”

He came out a few years ago, killing any chance he had of becoming President. Thankfully, that was never his goal. Tim wants to help as many people as he can, and he doesn’t want to be held back by an office or title. The President refused to entertain any notion of him resigning, and they won another four years, but their time will be up soon. It makes me sad, because this man before me can never be truly replaced.

“You’re one of the only people on this Earth who can make me jump on command. You know that, right?”

“I would never command you.”

“Which is why I’m jumping,” I tell him as I literally jump to my feet.

“Aiden’s waiting around the corner.”

“Thanks, Tim.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll see you soon.”

“Definitely.”

We hug, and I get a kiss on the forehead, before being gently turned toward my friend. I shake my head, and chuckle, but do as I’ve been told. Weaving through the crowds doesn’t feel fun right now, and as I’m bumped into, I start to lose my patience. Luckily, Aiden’s close, and I find him before I go off on someone.

“If you didn’t want to deal with the tourists, you shouldn’t have come down here.”

“I’m well aware.”

“And yet you look like you want to start punching them.”

“Who stands in the middle of the path to talk? I mean, come on, move to the side. Who does that?”

“They do. It’s nothing new, they do it in Vegas too.”

“I just don’t get it; it’s like all common sense goes out of people’s brains when they go on vacation.”

“Are we seriously talking about this right now?”

I kick a small rock with my shoe. “Uh-huh.”

“You don’t have to do this today.”

“Yes, I do.”

“I love my dad, but sometimes ripping off the Band-Aid isn’t always the best way,” he says, opening the door to the Uber when it arrives.

“Yeah, but it’s the way I need to do it. He’s right about me waiting, because as the days have been passing, I’ve been second-guessing myself.”

“No, you’re haven’t. No matter what, you’re going to tell them. You may be scared, but after your funeral, you told me you needed to tell them. It was one of the things driving you to get this done. Is it going to suck? Oh yeah, it is. But, you need them to know.”

“What if they hate me?”

“They couldn’t hate you.”

“I have to do this.”

He doesn’t answer, because it’s not a question. I know I have to do this. And, he’s right, I want to. There’s no other option, because I want to have them back in my life, and I want to try and end their suffering. I’m not naïve enough to think they’ll be happy about everything, but I’m hoping their love for me will outweigh their anger.

“I need to change first.”

I don’t want my parents to recognize me walking up to their door, so when we get back to his townhouse, I put on one of my “new Natasha” outfits. A blue satin dress with a floral print, and retro style, along with heels and a small clutch. I don’t look like the girl they said goodbye to at the base, or the woman who came back a little more jaded. I just look like me, the me I want them to know.

It doesn’t take long to get to my parents’ house from Aiden’s place, but he passes the driver some money, allowing me a few more minutes to compose myself. I finally put on my sunglasses, and exit the car. Aiden’s hand goes to the small of my back, comforting me as well as propelling me forward. One more deep breath, and then I’m ringing the doorbell.

“Hi Mom,” I say when she opens the door.

“Oh my God!” she yells, before fainting.

Aiden catches her, and carries her to the couch. My father jumps from his chair, and as the glasses fall from my eyes, he staggers back. I grab his arm, and he pulls me against him.

“Natty?”

“Hi, Daddy.”

“What? How?”

“I’ll explain once Mom’s awake again.”

Aiden’s got the high-tech version of smelling salts the Society uses, and he’s waving it under her nose. She startles awake, and looks at him with wide eyes.

“Natasha…I saw her.”

“Yes, you did.”

“So, she’s real? I didn’t imagine it?”

“She’s real,” he tells her, nodding toward me.

“I’m sorry they told you I was dead. It was a case of mistaken identity, because I’d gone on a military mission not many people knew about. Since I couldn’t be reached, and somehow dental records got mixed up, they were sure it was me.”

---

It’s close to the truth, and I desperately wanted to give them as much truth as possible, after the lies they were told. My father keeps touching me; my hands, my face, my arms. He’s smiling, but it’s a sad smile, and I can hear that sadness in his voice when he speaks.

“I can’t believe they made such a mistake! There has to be someone we can report this to.”

“It’s been handled,” I assure him, and well, it has. Just not in a way I can ever tell them.

“We were distraught. We buried you. Or who we thought was you.”

“That body will be moved.” There’s no body in that casket, but I can’t tell them that.

“I just can’t understand how no one knew you were still alive.”

I give him a little more truth, because God knows, we all need it. “It was a classified mission. I was deep cover, and it would’ve been dangerous for more than just me if I’d been contacted. I came here as soon as it was over, and I found out what they’d told you.”

“I kept all your things,” my mother tells me, speaking for the first time.

“Thank you.” I don’t know what else to say. What else can I say?

“I didn’t want to accept your death.”

“I wish none of this had happened.” That’s not true anymore, because Haring makes me just a little but glad it did.

“You’re home now, and that’s all that matters.”

There’s a lump in my throat, and I’m ugly crying as I hug her. They aren’t angry with me, and they don’t hate me. My parents are just so glad I’m alive, and here with them. I promise to come visit often, and invite them to Las Vegas to see me whenever they want. Yes, I’m going back, to finally do what I want, and not what others need me to do.

Haring

I’m in personal limbo, and professional Heaven right now. Natasha’s been gone for days, which is making me crazy. But, my building is almost done, which is making me freak out in a good way. In a perfect world, both would be going smoothly, but there’s never been anything perfect about my life, so why start now?

“It’s a great view, but better enjoyed with someone at your side.”

I look to my left, and see an exotic beauty standing beside me on one of the many patios of the new C&C building. “I’m doing just fine on my own, but thanks.”

“Not even going to ask me for my name, huh?”

“Sorry, but I’m just not interested.”

“I don’t believe I was offering anything other than some company while looking out over the city.”

“I just don’t want anyone to see us, and get the wrong idea.”

“Girlfriend?”

“Ex-girlfriend’s friends. I’m trying to get rid of the ‘ex’ part.”

“Well, I’m Seriyah, and I know most everyone in this building, so you don’t have to worry about anyone thinking we’re getting together.”

That’s not weird at all. “Um, okay.”

“They all think my boss and I are getting it on,” she tells me with a sigh.

“Oh!”

“We’re not.”

“None of my business.”

“You’re the only one, then. Everyone else seems to think it’s theirs.”

“I know the feeling.”

“See, we’d be perfect friends.”

“Maybe, but the people I’m worried about probably know you’re not sleeping with your boss, so they might still think we’re doing something.”

She stands to leave. “I’ll leave you alone since you’re so paranoid, but you could at least tell me your name.”

“Haring.”

“Kind of nice to meet you, Haring. Good luck with the ex.”

I’m an ass. This nice girl was just trying to hang out here on the patio, and I basically told her to get lost. “Hey, I’m sorry I was a jerk about you hanging out here with me.”

“You were definitely a jerk, but I appreciate the apology, and I get it.”

“The boss, huh?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to. Hope it works out.”

“It never would, which is why I’ll never allow anything more than business between us.”

I shake my head as she walks back inside. Women are complex, and scary. All of them. Even if the look sweet, and shy, they are fucking scary. The woman I want is worth the work to figure out what she needs, which is why I’m all too happy to do it.

When I make my way back inside, I pick up a sandwich and chips from the cafeteria. The one here is even more elaborate than at the old building with no less than twenty different hot and cold offerings. That’s not including the smoothie bars, ice cream counters, dessert cases, cold drink cases, and fountain drink stations. It’s completely insane, and I’d miss it if I had to move.

For now, the activity center will only be open on weekends, and for birthdays and other celebrations during the week. We thought about having it open 24/7, but don’t think the need will be there just yet. If that changes, we’ll adjust. I’m in the process of hiring a staff of people who will be able to handle the thousands of employees, family, and friends who are going to pass through our doors every Saturday and Sunday.

I’ve already got over 500 birthday parties booked for C&C employees and their families, and I’m weeding through the requests for events from non-profits. My sister says it’s job security, and while she’s right, I’m just happy to be doing something I love. The only thing better would be having the woman I love by my side, but I’m working on it.

In the meantime, I spend the rest of my lunch in the game room. 1BadGuyAtATime is online, making me smile. Some of the only times I’ve been smiling lately have been when I’m playing with him. As usual, we banter, trash talk, and have some mindless fun while we take out the bad guys. If only real life could be so easy.