Haring

Natasha is in the building. This is not a drill. She. Is. Here.

I haven’t seen her yet, but Matisse called me when she got here. She’s on the Foundation floor, and despite my better judgment, I head there. I don’t know what I’ll do when I get there, but I have to be near her.

Alex Corrigan smiles at me when I walk through the door. “Have a seat, Haring, and I’ll send you back when they’re ready for you.”

“Thanks.”

I look at the pictures on the walls, the inspirational quotes on wooden boxes and plaques all over the tables and shelves, and I wait. I wait so long, I think Matt may send someone to look for me. Not that we have a meeting or anything scheduled, but I always feel like there’s some sensor on our doors to let him know we’re all in our offices when we’re supposed to be. I’m probably being paranoid, because he has more important things to do, but I can’t stop those thoughts.

“You can go on back to Reina’s office now.”

“Okay.” Okay? What am I, five? Jesus, I need to figure my shit out. “Thanks, Alex.”

The doors to Reina’s office open as I approach. All twenty of the Society women are inside, along with Natasha. I stand awkwardly among them, as they give me looks ranging from encouraging to disgusted. Tough crowd is an understatement with this group.

“Hello, Haring.”

“Hi, Reina.”

“Natasha is going to be working here, and I don’t want any problems.”

“I’m not going to cause her any problems.” I’m not. Even if she won’t take me back, I won’t make things hard for her.

“Good. Now tell me what the main issue is between you. I’m not asking to pry, but because I need to know what I may have to expect from any of your interactions.”

Natasha answers before I can. “He called me a whore. I’m trying to get past it, but it’s hard. I know I messed up, but I didn’t deserve that. No woman deserves to be called that.”

I see—and feel—every woman in the room get to their feet. I could possibly die right now, and no one would ever find my body. That doesn’t worry me as much as it should, because all I can think about is how I hurt the woman I love.

“I was angry, and hurt, and I lashed out in a way I’m ashamed of. I’ve apologized, and I swear to all that’s Holy, I didn’t mean it. I don’t think of you like that at all, Vixen. I would do anything you need me to do to help you to get past it. Anything.”

“I want to slap you so bad right now, Haring Kingston,” my sister tells me.

“Go ahead.”

“That’s why I can’t; I know you’re beating yourself up more than I ever could.”

“Natasha, it’s up to you whether I tell my husband about this. There is a strict C&C policy about words that should never be uttered.”

My job? Reina is fucking going after my job? Sweat starts gathering on my brow as I imagine losing everything—again.

“No one goes after his job, or him. I mean it,” Natasha tells them. “I’m having a really hard time getting past it, but I know he’s sorry. He doesn’t know what happened to me.”

“What happened?” I ask, going to her side, and kneeling next to her. “Will you tell me?”

She nods. “I slept with the man I refer to as Satan willingly, because I knew I had to in order to keep my cover. I won’t apologize for saving my life.”

“You never have to apologize to me, or anyone else for doing anything you choose to do.”

“I know, but I appreciate you re-affirming it for me.” She looks to Reina, and then back at me. I take her hand, because it feels right. “A few months later, he had a party, and wanted to impress some other men. So, he had me brought down to the indoor pool. Before I knew what was happening, my clothes were ripped off of me, and I was being tied down.”

No. Oh God, no. I want to go back in time, and kill that bastard with my bare hands. I also want to take back the afternoon in my apartment where I tied her down. She let me do that, even after…

“There were too many of them for me to fight. Too many.”

“You don’t have to say anything else.”

“I didn’t want that. I didn’t want any of it, but I also didn’t want to die.”

“I am so happy for that. You have no idea how happy I am that you didn’t die. I love you so damn much, and I can promise you I’d die before I let anything like that ever happen to you again.”

“I love you too, but I hate what you said.”

“I hate it too.”

It’s just us right now, even though no one’s left this office. Everyone else is just there, while we’re here.

“I can’t imagine my life without you in it, Haring, but I need to take it slow, and figure things out. Can you wait for me? Will you?”

“I’d wait until the end of time if I had to.”

“I won’t make you wait that long.”

“You can if you want.”

She leans down to whisper in my ear. “I can’t wait that long for your cock, silly man.”

“It’s all yours,” I whisper back.

“I hate to break this up, but I have some more stuff to go over with Natasha,” Reina tells me. She’s smiling, so I know I’m okay for now.

“Talk later?” I say to Natasha as I get to my feet.

“I’ll call you tonight.”

I walk towards the door, not expecting the smack to the back of my head. “What the hell?” I ask, turning to face my sister.

“I raised you better then to use that word, Warhol.”

“I’m pretty sure it was me, Aiden, and Tim who raised you, Cassatt.”

She just shrugs. “Whatever. You needed some sense knocked into you.”

I laugh, because I finally can, without feeling a stab of pain, too. The two most important women—hell, people—in my life are okay with me right now. I can do slow with Natasha; Fuck, I’ll crawl around like a snail if she wants me to. I just need to keep her this time.

Natasha

I talked for hours with Haring on the phone last night, and it was amazing. We talked about our pasts, our jobs, our favorite places in D.C., and just anything, and everything we could think of. We would’ve kept talking, but he knows how excited I am for my new job, and he didn’t want to keep me up too late.

I stayed up after talking to him, though, because I was still a little too wound up to sleep. I jumped on my game console, and shot some bad guys with the friend Jake introduced me to a few weeks ago. I love the escape of the game, and I love the company of my online friend. Last night, though, I felt a little guilty. I could’ve still been talking to Haring. Tonight, I’ll make sure to let it just be him, and not my gamer guy friend.

Walking into the C&C building in my red and black Alexander McQueen dress, I feel happy, and confident. Happiness eluded me for a lot of years, and while I’d found it for a short time with Haring, I wasn’t sure I’d ever feel so completely content as I do right now, with a great job, and a great guy. My confidence dropped a little over the years, because it was taking so long to complete my mission, but it’s over now. All of the shit I had to wade through is finally behind me.

My job for the Society is going to be a combination of what Reina talked to me about. I’m going to consult on missions, using my expertise to find any flaws they miss. I don’t expect to find any flaws, but I feel appreciated just the same. More appreciated than I ever felt at MI.

When I’m not doing that, I’ll be taking part in group counseling sessions with some of the women they help. I never got help for what happened to me, so I didn’t think I’d be qualified, but I’ve been assured that my part will be more about listening, and being a shoulder to lean on. That, I can do.

My first stop today is Stella’s office/closet. She told me to stop by, and see if there’s anything I want to borrow, or keep. I can’t wait to see what she’s got in my size, as I figure out my new style.

“Hi,” I say to the young, Asian guy, who is perched on an actual throne just inside the door. There’s a desk too, but it’s boring compared to the chair.

“Natasha? I love your hair, and I’ve seen pics of your retro look. Loving the McQueen.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m Kevin, and we’re going to be besties, because you’ll want in the closet when Stella’s away on missions.”

“Is that allowed?”

“Yes,” Stella says, coming out to greet me. “But anyone can come in here when they want, and not just my assistant, so don’t let him try to force you into bribery.”

“I would never,” he tells her, placing his hands on his chest.

“You would always.”

He rolls his eyes, as I stifle a laugh. “I think I’m going to like it here.”

“Love. You’re going to love it here,” Stella insists. “Now, let’s look at clothes.”

After a couple of hours of going through racks of clothes, my head is ready to explode. There are a couple of racks in front that none of us can touch, because those are for upcoming missions, but everything else is fair game. I know women who would literally kill for what’s in the closet, but I need a break.

I look at my phone, and see a missed text from Haring, asking me to meet him for lunch. Damn, I would’ve totally said yes, but I’m pretty sure it’s too late. I’ll just have to eat alone today.

After grabbing my food in the cafeteria, I choose a table by the windows. As I look out over the city, a man takes the seat across from me. I raise an eyebrow at him, because I know I didn’t give him permission to join me.

“I don’t remember you asking to sit with me.”

“I’m the best-looking guy here, so I don’t need to ask.”

He must be joking. He’s definitely good looking, but no one has Haring’s hair, sexy smile, or hot body. Not to mention the men I’ve found out call themselves the Studkateers around here. This guy is probably not hurting for women, but he isn’t in the same league as my friends are. Plus, his attitude is definitely lacking.

“You always need to ask.”

“What’s your name, beautiful?”

Before I can answer, Haring is at my side, dropping to his knees. “Marry me, Vixen. I know I’ve been an ass, but I love you.”

What the hell? I told him I need to take it slow, and he’s proposing to me? I can’t deal with this right now, I just can’t.

“No,” I blurt out.

“Denied,” the guy across from me says with a laugh. “Move along.”

Haring looks like he’s going to throw up as he surges to his feet, and practically runs away. I pick up my soda and toss it at the asshole across from me before following him out into the hallway.

“Haring, wait!”

He stops, and turns to face me. The anguish I see in his eyes nearly drops me to my own knees.

“I shouldn’t have done that. I saw you with that guy after I invited you to lunch, and you ignored me. I know I don’t deserve you. I know it. But, I want to deserve you, and when I saw you with him, I felt desperate.”

“You can’t have expected me to say yes.”

“Because of what I called you? If I hadn’t called you that, would you have said yes today?”

“I don’t know, because you did say it, and nothing can change that.”

“I know. Believe me, I know. I just felt like I had to claim you. I don’t want anyone else to have a chance with you.”

“You could’ve just kissed me.”

“Not while you were on a date.”

I cross my arms over my chest. “So, proposing on a date is okay, but not kissing? And by the way, it wasn’t a date. He sat down across from me, and I was working on getting rid of him.”

“It wasn’t a date?” he asks, relief evident in his voice.

“No, but let’s get back to this proposal. What if I’d said yes?”

“We’d be doing our online registry right now.”

“What do you know about those?”

He shrugs. “I have lots of friends who’ve gotten married over the last few years.”

“Honey, no. When we get engaged, we’ll be going into the stores themselves. You’ll be walking beside me with one of those scanner thingies, and helping me pick our china, and some weird kitchen things we’ll never know how to use.”

“When?”

“When.”

“How soon is too soon to ask again?”

“Right now, is too soon. And probably next week. But, lunch tomorrow sounds divine.”

“Can I kiss you before you disappear on me?”

“You better.”

That one kiss turns into a ten-minute make-out session. It might’ve gone longer, but Aiden and Nate start whistling as they approach us. I flip them the finger, as Haring removes his mouth from my neck. He was doing glorious things, and I don’t want him to stop, but while I don’t mind an audience, I’m not about to get in trouble on my first day. I’m covered in beard burn, and he’s wearing all of my lipstick, but we’re both smiling.

“You two know we have guest suites upstairs, right? I mean, they’re supposed to be for clients who need a nap after a long flight, or are just staying for a night, but we can get you a key if you need it. ‘No tell at the Corrigan Motel’, and all,” Aiden says with a smirk.

“Actually, if you’ve got the time, we need to talk,” Haring tells him, and the smile drops from his face.

“Haring?” I ask, afraid he’s angry with our friend.

“We haven’t talked since all of this happened, Vixen. I just need to know his side of things.”

“Let’s do this,” Aiden says, leading Haring back down the hall.

“Don’t worry, Natasha, they’ll be okay,” Nate says, trying to reassure me.

I nod, but I can’t bring myself to smile. Aiden and Haring are closer than Aiden and I ever were, and I couldn’t live with myself if I knew I’d come between them. I pray this talk of theirs turns out well.