8
Camilla
I held onto Merritt tightly, unable to catch my breath. This had been one of the longest orgasms I’d had, and I was still in a daze. I closed my eyes, enjoying his scent and closeness. I felt so secure next to him, and I wished he could hold me like this longer.
“I’m sorry for your shirt,” I said with a giggle, looking at the stain below his neck. I had actually ruined his shirt. Imagine that.
He grinned. “Don’t worry about it. I have the spare one in my office.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Carefully, he pulled out of me and put me down on my feet, looking at me like he was seeing me for the first time. There was something in his gaze that hadn’t been there before, and I didn’t know what to make of it.
“Merritt?” My pulse quickened. I was unable to look away.
“You’re beautiful,” he said barely audibly, creating flutters in my stomach. The softness in his gaze melted something in me, gluing me to the ground. I wasn’t able to speak. “There is something irresistible about you.”
I could barely breathe, my chest inflating with emotions. I tried to turn this into a joke because I didn’t have it in me to deal with what I was experiencing right now. It was unexpected and intense. “I bet you say this to every woman.”
He didn’t smile. No, he remained serious, cupping my cheek with his warm hand. I was leaning into it before I was even aware of what I was doing.
“Actually, you’re the first who I’ve said that to. I’ll be honest with you. Usually, I fuck girls and that’s it. I don’t have the need to tell them these things. Hell, they don’t even make me feel anything.”
“But I do?”
His lips curled into a half-smile, his unblinking gaze taking my breath away. “If you only knew… I can’t even put it into words, but I enjoy this more than I’ve thought.”
“This?”
“Being with you. You.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know what this is, but it feels good, right even.”
I didn’t know what to say. Did I feel the same way? I got dressed quickly and left the closet before he could say anything else. This was new territory to me too. I couldn’t fall for a playboy like him.
I returned to work right before the lunch time finished, hot and bothered from the hot scene in the closet. I sat down at my desk and willed my mind to think of anything else but Merritt, however, it was impossible.
I covered my face with my hands and sighed, reminded of the look in his eyes as he told me those words… He had been honest. I could feel it. He wasn’t just sweet-talking me. Even the kiss that he gave me in the closet before we parted ways had felt different. It felt meaningful.
“Camilla? Did you hear me?” I winced and dropped my hands, meeting the gaze of my coworker. If my memory served me right, her name was Megan.
“Yes?”
“I said that the Congressman had asked for you. He has some important guests and needs you to serve them coffee.”
“Sure. I’m right on it.” I jumped to my feet, telling myself to focus and stop daydreaming. I was working now, and I couldn’t afford to mess this opportunity up because of Merritt. I was better than that.
“Are you okay?” Megan asked me, her head tilted to the side, observing me.
I stopped in my tracks. “Yeah. Why?”
“You look flustered.” I almost pressed my hands against my cheeks, which felt scalding hot. I didn’t need her to become suspicious about me and sniff out what happened just a few minutes ago.
If she only knew I had just been banged, right near our office…
And then it hit me. I was being an idiot. I was playing with my career here for… What? A few quickies? And then what? I would be without a job and back to square one. What if my boss had seen us? What if someone else had seen us and started the rumors? What if Carter found out?
Letting Merritt take me to that coat closet was a mistake.
I choked back my annoyance with myself, making sure my neutral mask was on. I had to play my cards right.
“It’s just that it’s a bit too hot in here.” I fanned myself with my hand.
Megan glanced over her shoulder at the AC that wasn’t functioning currently. “Yeah, they should fix that AC by the end of this week. We’re all dying in here from the heat.”
“You can say that again.”
She returned to her computer to work on some document, and I went to the coffee maker, relieved that I managed to convince her with that excuse. That faulty AC was a lucky coincidence.
I expected to see Merritt by the end of my day, but it didn’t happen. Later, I heard from Megan that he was one of the most respected and liked people around here. Almost everybody had something nice to say about him, emphasizing the fact that he was an honest and hard-working politician with a vision.
He was dedicated and wanted to make our country a better place, which was praise-worthy. This was one of the things that made me more attracted to him because we were the same. We wanted to change the world for better.
I was so tired by the time I came home, and I wanted to hit the sack early, but I had promised my mom I would Skype her as soon as I finished with my job. So I showered, made myself a sandwich, and turned on Skype.
“Hey, Mom,” I told her when her video popped up on my screen.
A tender smile illuminated her face. “Hello, sweetie. I’m so happy to see you.”
I smiled back at her. “You sound like you haven’t seen me since last year.”
“Oh, you know how mothers are. Consider yourself lucky that I don’t call you once in every hour and demand to know your whereabouts.” She rolled her eyes. “I heard one of our neighbors does that to her son every day.”
“Mrs. Wilson, I guess?”
“That’s right. Poor boy can’t escape her, because that woman has her claws deep in him.”
That “poor” boy, as she called him, was also a junky teenager who had a criminal record, but his mother’s behavior could explain some of his misdeeds.
“So how was your first day at your new job?”
Almost instantly, the images from that closet appeared before my eyes, and I was sure my cheeks had gone red.
“It was… It was pretty interesting. It was busy and my colleagues are nice.”
“And your boss? Does he treat you well?”
“Yeah. He’s cool.”
“Good. I’m relieved to hear that. I know how fussy those politicians can be, so I’m glad your boss is not one of them. I remember Carter’s first job on the Hill, that man was a menace.”
“He isn’t fussy at all. He was kind to me the whole day.”
“And is there any love interest?” She wiggled her eyebrows. As if following a command, my cheeks reddened again. I pushed the strands of my hair to the front so that I could hide my face with them. I was acting like a teenager. Ridiculous. “You haven’t said anything to me for a while, and I was beginning to wonder if there is anyone—”
“No, there isn’t anyone,” I interrupted her, my words sounding unconvincing even to my own ears.
“Are you sure?”
I remembered how close I felt to Merritt as he held me in his arms in that closet and shuddered. I had no idea what made me unable to get him out of my head, but it had to end right now. I had to focus on my job and forget about Merritt.
“One hundred percent,” I answered, determined to keep my distance from him the next time I saw him.
I continued to do menial work for the next several days, but I was actually enjoying it. I was getting closer to the people I worked with and even the Congressman commended me for my efficiency. I was sure that if things continued this way, he would entrust me with more serious tasks any day now.
I didn’t see Merritt again, but that was probably a good thing. I didn’t have to busy myself with thinking about the ways to avoid him. The second day of work, I was anxious, waiting for him to appear from any corner, but by the fourth day, I was finally able to relax and keep him out of my mind long enough to get my job done.
I intended to keep everything that had happened between us under wraps. Luckily, no one had found out about the moment we shared in the closet.
I knew that there could be something there and was super attracted to him, but I didn’t know how to make my feelings and my new work life work together. I had a hunch things could get pretty complicated if we acted on emotions and kept seeing each other, not that I wanted it at this point.
It was for the best that we didn’t see each other again. Besides, he was probably only temporarily interested in me and would get bored with me eventually. I didn’t want to risk my career for someone like him. Yes, the sex was amazing, but I shouldn’t forget he was a playboy, even though he said those words in the closet.
Men like Merritt didn’t love. They never meant anything serious, acting on their impulses with no worries about the consequences. I couldn’t afford that luxury of screwing around with no care. I liked my job and I wanted to keep it.
The next time I saw him, I would tell him straight off there would be no more sneaking around with him. Whatever we’d had was over.