Chapter 24

I will always wonder who you would have been… - Anonymous

Roxy

I should have told them where I was going today, but I couldn’t bear to do that. The three of them would have stared us down, saying we were both insane and worrying about nothing. By them, I’m talking about the three men who love us more than anything else on this planet – Dracus, Bolt, and my Vince. The thing is, we weren’t worrying over nothing. I know that we weren’t. I’m four days late, and Aimee hasn’t had her period either. She’s way more paranoid than I am… but she wasn’t used to the horror that we had to endure. While I had experience with Rage and his awfulness… Aimee didn’t. She had no idea of my past, and after that night… I had to explain everything to her, in detail. My hope was that by telling her the things I had gone through it would encourage her, build her confidence. It didn’t do either. Instead, I think I scared her even more.

So, we drove to the clinic in town and waited our turns, holding onto one another’s hands as if our very lives depended on it. I loved this woman more than I could explain. I didn’t have the same love for her as I did Vince, but nonetheless, I loved her.

Each of us went into separate restrooms, peeing on sticks and waiting for the doctors to get back to us. About an hour later we were called back into the exam room. They wanted to speak to us privately, but Aimee didn’t want that. She made it abundantly clear that we needed to find out together. I think that she needed me. I could have handled the hit by myself, but Aimee couldn’t, and I knew that.

So, we followed the doctor back into a room and sat next to one another on two old plastic chairs that sat side by side. “Roxanne, you aren’t pregnant. I think you’re just having an irregular cycle. It happens to women sometimes; however, I can understand your cause for concern.”

I nod my head, accepting the answer.

“Now, Aimee. You are pregnant.”

“No,” Aimee murmurs, covering her face with her hand she begins to bawl, sounding like a wounded animal. I wrap my arms around her and hold her close, wanting to give her as much support as I can in this moment. Fuck, this is all my fault.

“I don’t want it. I want an abortion, today. Give me an abortion, please… please. I beg you, please take it out,” she pleads with the doctor, he looks at her, probably unsure of what to say.

“Aimee, I understand this is shocking, and terrifying. Please, take the day to think about it, and come back tomorrow if it’s still what you want to do.”

“No. No. I will not wait until tomorrow when… when…”

I hold her close, brushing her hair with my fingertips. There is nothing that I can say in this moment that will make her feel better. The only thing that will make her feel better is getting what she wants, so it’s simple. I’ll do what I have to make sure that happens.

“Don’t make her keep her rapist’s baby inside of her. Please, just take it out. Just do it today. She’s been sick for weeks thinking about this… please, Doc.” His eyes go wide at my bluntness, and he nods.

“Normally… I wouldn’t but… I, uh. I understand your feelings. Come back with me you two, and we’ll get you prepped, Aimee.”

I go back with Aimee as the nurses prep her, reading all of the disclosures that I’m sure the government makes them before they perform a procedure such as this. Aimee signs again and again, practically signing her life away.

The doc didn’t want me in the room during the procedure, so I sat out in the waiting area and did just that, I waited, for hours and hours, I waited. When the clock went from noon to four… I was alarmed. I’d never had an abortion – but they don’t take this long. Do they?

“Is there a Roxanne here?” I see a nurse come out from the double doors that lead back into where the exam rooms are.

“Yes, that would be me.”

“Oh, good. I need you to come with me, Miss.” I don’t ask questions, but simply follow the nurse down the hallway. She leads me down to an office, where I am met once again with the Doc I had been speaking to not that long ago.

“What’s happened?” I ask, not in the mood for any bullshit.

“There was a complication…” I listen closely as the doctor explains in extensive detail how everything was going according to plan until one moment it wasn’t. She was bleeding excessively, they tried everything to make it stop until the only alternative was to remove her uterus.

I sit in the chair, tears coming to my eyes and not being able to stop them no matter how much I try. I can’t explain the extreme amount of guilt that I feel. The guilt for Rage showing up, for doing what he did to her… to her being pregnant, to needing this abortion and it results in her losing any possibility of ever having a child.

One night, and I stole Aimee’s future from her.

All of this is my fault.

***

Tex

“I hadn’t planned on coming up this way, but it seemed like the right thing to do. I heard about what happened.” Roman being in the Reapers clubhouse is odd as fuck to me, and what’s even weirder is the new cut he wears. The Brotherhood MC, a club that he’s founded so recently, where he took over half of the Demons with him – the good half, if that’s what I could call it. The more respectable of the bunch. “I have intel on those two prospects your club is missing.”

“Fang and Saber?” I inquire, lifting the beer in front of me to my lips and take a swig.

“Yes. They’re fine – better than fine, actually. Seems they’re Rage’s newest recruits.”

“I’m sorry… what?” I ask, flabbergasted.

“Those two love to talk, a lot about how they pulled a train on Roxy that night Rage showed up and nearly killed her and Aimee.” My eyes bulge out of my head and nearly shoot across the room. I knew something had happened, I fucking knew it! Neither one of the girls would tell me, but now I knew the truth.

“I didn’t know,” I confess, glancing back to the man I have always been proud to call a brother. “I mean, I knew… I assumed what happened, but she wouldn’t tell me. I just didn’t know about those two…”

“She wouldn’t tell you, she never did want to appear weak in front of you. Why would that change now?”

“Roxy has never been weak, not for a day in her fucking life,” I point out, anger spitting through my tone.

“You and I may know that, but she doesn’t. She thinks that she is, and you’d better not tell me I’m wrong.” I think long and hard over it, and Roman is right. She does think she’s weak, not seeing just how strong she is. “I didn’t just come here to express my apologies for what happened. I came for business.”

“Prez!” I call over to Fist, who slides off of his barstool and approaches us.

“I had a feeling this wasn’t just a social call,” Fist mutters as he sits down next to us.

“No, I’m afraid we don’t have that luxury. The Demons will always be a threat, and so will those fucking Bears. I’m here on behalf of my club, The Brotherhood. The Raiders who Rage has driven to the West Coast and the Sons of Gods who hold a clubhouse in the South. We all have bad blood with the Demons, some of us more than others. Zeus appreciated your heads up about the impending assassination attempt on his daughters and wife. He has agreed to an alliance with us, all of us. Think about it, The Brotherhood, Reapers, Sons of Gods, and Raiders. Four of us clubs, working in unison against a common enemy. The Raiders want something in return, though. You’ve done something for the Sons of Gods. I have trust already with your club. You have done a lot for Tex, and you’ve kept Rox safe, granted you’re her family, but that is a show of good faith – that is all I need. You continue to watch over your sister, and we’re solid.”

“What do the Raiders want?” Fist asks, leaning back in his chair, observing Roman’s features.

“He wants a show of good faith from you. There’s already a relationship with me, and with Zeus… but he doesn’t have must trust in your club, so he is asking for something… big.”

“Cut the shit and tell me what it is that this asshole wants” Fist grumbles.

“He wants a son. A son of the Reapers to marry a daughter of his. Arranging marriages between clubs hasn’t been done in years, however it is done for political alliances. He has the strongest club in the West, and together we can break the Demons down. Do you have a son?”

“I have two,” Fist says, looking over to Mindi who has both Zane and Kade sitting on her lap.

“Who is the one who will take the gavel from you one day?” Roman inquires.

“Zane.” He stares at the toddler as he utters his name, I’m sure he’s picturing his future. Wondering if he will damn his son eternally by making this decision or guarantee happiness.

“Then, he is the one who will marry the girl.”

“What is her name?” Fist asks.

“He has a few daughters. I can make sure that Zane has a choice when the time comes.”

“Okay. Assure me that my son has a choice, and we have a deal,” Fist agrees, extending his hand out to Roman. They both shake hands as Dracus comes up to me.

“Sorry to interrupt, but we have a problem. Roxy just called… we need to go. Now.”

We do just that, we roll out, and I follow Dracus and Bolt until we reach the clinic just outside of Billings. I see Aimee’s beat up little piece of shit car as we approach, dismounting our bikes and walk through the doors that lead into the building.

Roxy is standing there, crouching to the ground, hands covering her face, white as a ghost. She looks up as we approach, bottom lip trembling as she looks to the three of us. Within a nanosecond, the tears are spilling.

“It’s all my fault, everything is all my fault… all of this… all of…” She hiccups, dragging in sharp and quick breaths.

I glance back and see Bolt go up to the nurse’s station, while Dracus and I walk over to Roxy, we crouch down next to her. I hold her close while Dracus has a hand on her knee, giving it a good squeeze.

“… Rage coming here was m-my fault… w-what he did was m-my fault… h-he hurt us b-both and u-us coming h-here is b-because of me. W-we had to c-come… t-this all h-happened b-because of m-me!” Before I can do anything, Dracus pulls Rox into his lap and cups her face, making him look right at her.

“You listen here little lady. Ain’t none of this your fucking fault. None of what that piece of shit did is your fault. The only thing you’re guilty of is falling for the bastard, and you know what that shows, baby? That you’ve got a pretty fucking golden heart. What happened is not on you. You did not do that. You did not do anything. If I hear you say it again I will beat your ass until you can’t sit for a week, do you hear me?”

Roxy’s lip trembles at his words. Honestly, I’m not as stern as he is. In this moment, I’m thankful for our relationship – the group of us. When I don’t have the words, he or Bolt does.

He brings Roxy’s lips to his own and kisses her gently. “I love you, babygirl. You stop this nonsense, and I’m gonna go check on our Aimee, okay?” I don’t beat with anger as he kisses the equivalent of my wife, she’s branded to me, but she belongs to the four of us, including Aimee.

Dracus rises and goes up to the nurse’s station. I bring her back in my arms and hold her close, letting her tears soak my cut and shirt. “What happened, firefly?”

“We… we thought we both might be pregnant. I’m not..b-but… Aimee was and she didn’t want it… she wanted an abortion today, and there was a complication and now she’ll never be able to have a baby…”

Fuck.

There has to be a silver lining here. Shit can’t get worse, it just can’t. Something good has to come out of all this bullshit we’ve been through the last few months.