My hands shook as I stumbled back.

“No. This can’t be happening,” I murmured.

I’m turning into her. The other. My other.

The front door slammed open as if it knew what I sought. Out. I needed out. I needed release.

Without a second thought, I bolted through the door.

“Selena!” The cries followed me, but I was faster, and then I was gone.

I raced out the front door and headed for the woods. The wind in my hair, I became a streak of black in the early afternoon light.

“Selena!” The sound rattled through me, and I didn’t know whether it was spoken or if I only heard it in my mind. Lucas’s rage carried through the air with such clarity, but I wouldn’t slow. I needed to get out.

I raced down the slope, gaining speed until my feet barely touched the grass. The glistening surface of the lake registered a moment too late. My feet planted in the dirt as I threw up a wall to stop my body from entering the murky water. I slammed into the wall of purple energy so tall it almost touched the top of the trees…and gasped when the energy collapsed, flooding back into me and leaving nothing behind.

I walked to the edge of the murky brown water, my feet sinking into the cold dirt. They were bloodied and bruised from the impact of my stop, but healing rapidly. The wind tickled my midriff where my tank top had ridden up, and I sighed. I knew he was there before he spoke.

“Look at me.”

I did no such thing.

I stopped at the water’s edge and peered down. Eyes as gray as the water looked back, surrounded by a mane of black hair and debris. I loosed a breath.

“How bad did that look?”

“We can fix it.” I didn’t like that answer.

“We?” I asked. His smell hit me, pairing wonderfully with the outdoors. I ground my teeth, because I already saw where this train wreck was headed, and didn’t have the self control I needed to stop it. I was drawn to him by something inexplicably animalistic. It didn’t have a name, but I wouldn’t have called it love. Lucas was my friend, but he wanted to be more.

“We.” He insisted, fingertips ghosting my lower back.

Not this again…

“You’re playing a dangerous game,” I said.

“That’s the thing, Selena. This isn’t a game to me at all.”

I maneuvered out of his range and started walking back through the forest. I needed to fix this, and playing with him in the woods wasn’t going to get me anywhere.

He snatched me back by my arm, pinning me to a pine tree.

“You do realize how easily I can take you down and walk away, don’t you?”

His green eyes met mine, burning like the seventh circle of hell. He gripped my waist in a way that probably would’ve been painful to a lesser being. “You can, but I know you won’t, because if you’re being honest with yourself, this is exactly where you want to be.” His words sent a shiver down my spine.

Damn him and those burning eyes. But maybe I did want to taste the fire. Just once.

“What about your tit for tat, and talk of choices?” I said ruefully… I would’ve crossed my arms, but there wasn’t even room to breathe between us.

He cocked his head and moved his hands from my waist to the tree stump on either side of me. “The choice is yours. It always has been, but after what just happened, you should think really hard about what you want and need right now.”

The fog in my brain was getting worse, clouding over logic.

He was so close.

Too close.

I closed the distance.

Meeting his lips, I moved my hands to grip his arms as he wrapped them around me. Hard, corded muscle trembled beneath my fingertips, and I ran my nails down them. He groaned, pulling the end of my hair to tilt my head back further. A moment before, I’d wanted to kiss him until my lips bruised, but now… Something was off, and it wasn’t just a little voice inside my head anymore.

He released my mouth and trailed his lips along my jaw. “What’s wrong?” he murmured, letting his teeth tug on my earlobe.

I gasped in pleasure. Falling back into the moment, I leaned into him, but he stepped back and released me. I looked up to see him smirking as he stared down at me, hand extended. I rolled my eyes, wanting to forget the lapse in control more than anything.

“Tit for tat. We need to talk.” He waited patiently for me to take his hand.

I swatted his hand aside and started through the forest on my own. “And what would you like to talk about?” I said, maneuvering under the lower branches.

“You.”

“What about me?” I huffed, and threw a glare over my shoulder.

He raised an eyebrow. “I have a list. What would you like to start with?” he said sarcastically.

I sighed. “What are we going to do about your family? Your mom already hated me. Now Tori’s afraid of me, and I can only imagine what Alec’s already reported back to that bitch.” I clenched my fists at the thought of Anastasia Fortescue.

“Leave my family to me. Tori will get over it. She’s seen worse,” he said vaguely, and I narrowed my eyes.

“And your brother? It’s not like he’s going to forget about what he saw,” I snapped.

Lucas came up to my side as I continued to trudge forward. The adrenaline was gone, leaving me all too aware of him, both intimately and not. I missed him as my best friend. They said distance made the heart grow fonder, but kissing him didn’t make me weak in the knees—it only confused things even more. Whatever I was craving, it wasn’t him. His hands were a Band-Aid on a bruise. They covered it, but didn’t fix it. Not really. Sure, he was attractive, and kissing him was nice, more than nice, even…but he wasn’t right, and all I wanted was my best friend back. I wanted the easy, careless touches, without being overwhelmed.

I must’ve slipped farther into my mind than I realized, when his voice startled me back to the question at hand.

“My mother already went through Victoria’s mind. Your story checks out, and the Council has no reason to continue their interrogation. Yes, Anastasia will hear about this, but they shouldn’t feel the need to prosecute you.” He eyes shifted guiltily.

I lifted the branch in front of us with a wave of my hand. “What did you do?”

He’d implied as much yesterday when he’d said he would take care of it. For my story to check out, though…

“I wiped her memory and filled in the holes.”

“You…can do that?” I stared at him, not sure whether to be thrilled or pissed.

“You’re not the only one with secrets, Selena,” he said, glancing up at the suspended branch.

I continued walking, and with a flick of my wrist, it came crashing down behind us. “Can all telepaths mess with people’s memories?” The thought of Anastasia being able to do that…

“Powerful ones can,” he said.

We fell into an awkward silence, as my mind drifted through the last year. How much my life had changed. This time a year ago I was dreading a plane trip to meet an aunt I didn’t know and expecting foster care at the next turn…and instead I’d had the craziest year of my life. The strange reality where I had friends I trusted and cared for enough to fight for, or in Lucas’s case, fight with. “A lot has changed in the past year,” I murmured to myself.

“You have no idea,” he agreed.

“It’ll never be as simple as it was again, will it?” I was asking so much in that one question, but if he knew it, his gaze gave away nothing.

“Probably not. The world is on the brink of war, and with the first telekinetic in a millennium, people are scared. Desperate. Things are only going to get worse before they get better.”

I appreciated his honesty. It was the reason we’d even been friends to begin with, before all…well, this.

“I need you to know something, Lucas,” I said. Taking a deep breath, I launched into what I should’ve told him four months ago. “I lead a complicated life, and I can’t give you what you deserve. I can take, I’m very good at that, but I can’t promise you sweet nothings.” I glanced at him before I continued. “My demons are getting worse, and if I’m not battling one form of madness, it’s the other. I walk a tightrope, and anything you have with me…won’t be fair to you. Do you understand?” The house was in sight now, and any semblance of deep conversation was coming to an end.

“I’m not asking for sweet nothings. I’m not asking for a promise of the future, or even your love. Whatever this is, I’m asking that we just go with it, because whenever you need something, I’ll be there. Whether it’s erasing someone’s memory, or taking the edge off—I want to be the person you go to for everything.”

I stared at him, and shook my head in disbelief. “I’ve thought a lot about this. I want to be your friend, and I won’t lie that I’ve been confused, but for both our sakes, stop pushing this. Stop tempting me just because you can. I’m going through a lot right now, and I need to figure that out first.” He opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off before he could get a word in. “I can’t even promise to tell you the truth most of the time. Asking for more…you’re going to get hurt. Do you get that?” Some part of me was attracted to him, that much was clear, but I had far too many commitments to add his undying love to my list of burdens.

“I’m not scared of you,” he whispered.

I shook my head, almost sadly. I wished I could reverse time. Go back to every stolen kiss and turn away. Never let anything grow. Never unleash my power. Never crave touch the same way I craved death.

“Let it go, and give me time to figure my life out. That’s what I need right now.” My voice was too impassive to be anguished, but there was an undercurrent of desperation that I think spoke to him more than heated gazes or traveling hands.

“Okay,” he finally said. “But will you promise me something?”

“I’ll think about it,” I said. It was almost friendly, but there was a hint of finality to it on my part, because my mind was finally made up, and I wasn’t torn anymore. I’d thought about him for months, agonizing over whether what I’d done was right, and what I would do when this moment came. I shouldn’t have kissed him back last April, but that was a lesson learned on what it meant to get caught up in the moment.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” For the first time in three months, I heard playfulness in his voice again. He didn’t like it—his eyes were sad—but some part of him seemed to accept my answer, at least for now.

“It depends on what you want.”

He chuckled, and his hand brushed mine, but he made no attempt to take it. “Promise me that— Goddammit,” Lucas swore, stopping before we entered the house.

“What?”

He hesitated, his eyes growing harder by the second.

“Will you spit it out already?”

He swallowed hard, and I turned for the house. If he wouldn’t tell me, someone else would.

“There’s been another attack,” he croaked. I went still as I waited for him to continue. “The Council has declared a state of emergency. We have to return to Daizlei.”

My heart hammered in my chest. Sweat slicked my palms, and the sunny-morning mountain breeze turned cold.

“Who?”

“Aldric Fortescue is dead.”