Brynne

I sit on my lumpy futon with Noah in my lap, and he gives me a big toothless grin when I tickle his belly. I laugh with him, which only makes him giggle harder.

The hockey game plays softly in the background, as it always does when the Annihilators play. Even when I was in Europe, I’d stay up late or wake up early, depending on the time, and stream the games.

I don’t know why I watch. But I do. Like a bittersweet torture that I can’t turn off.

“That’s your Grandpa,” I mumble against Noah’s head when the camera zooms in on my father’s face, which is bright red from screaming at one of the refs.

I know that look well. The deep baritone that could, and has, made grown men cry.

At home, his anger was usually directed at Sam. Usually for something he did that didn’t live up to the great Steve Jacobs’ expectations. We were always a disappointment. Neither of us could do anything right in the man’s eyes. Especially Sam.

My stomach does a little flip when Kane stands up on the bench and says something in my father’s ear. My dad gives a sharp nod, then slaps Kane on the back, before sending him onto the ice.

The two of them have always had a connection. An ease of talking. Maybe it’s because they’re so similar.

Hard.

Focused.

With one love – hockey.

“For someone who claims to hate the sport, you sure watch a lot of it,” Felix says, shifting two bags of groceries in his arms as he comes into my apartment.

I frown when I look over at him. I wasn’t expecting him to come by tonight. And I don’t like that he thinks he can come in without knocking. It’s the second time this week. I keep forgetting he has a spare key. I gave it to him when I was in the hospital after I’d had Noah. He’d used it to pick up a few things for me. But he’d never given it back.

“I told you I don’t need you to bring me groceries.”

“I know.” He pulls out a bag of tomatoes and places them on the counter. “But it’s Saturday night. I’ll make dinner.” He holds up a bag of spaghetti and winks. “Then we can watch a movie when Noah goes down.”

Definitely time to put some boundaries up.

I place Noah in his swing, then give it a crank, before standing.

Felix already has the cutting board out and is starting to peel the garlic bulbs when I walk over to him.

“I’m actually pretty tired tonight.”

He pulls out a knife from the drawer and starts dicing the garlic.

“If you’re worried about falling asleep during another movie, I’m getting used to it.” He winks at me again, a grin tugging at his lips, then he nods at the bag beside him. “Can you wash the red peppers?”

I sigh and grab the bag, taking it over to the sink.

Felix has been a good friend, and I don’t want to seem ungrateful. But I’m starting to get the impression that he wants more than just friendship.

I assumed that me having a kid was a big, blaring red light. But maybe I was wrong.

“Kane came by last night,” I say, handing him the washed peppers.

He doesn’t look at me, but I see the muscle in his jaw twitch. “Let me guess, he offered you money to keep quiet about it?”

I don’t miss the hostility in his voice.

“No.” I lean against the counter and rub the back of my neck. “He wants to be part of Noah’s life.”

He grunts and shakes his head.

“He seemed sincere.”

He gives me a sideways glance. “And you believe him?”

“I don’t know. But he wants me to move in with him.”

Felix stops chopping, his fingers going white around the knife before he places it on the chopping board. “And?”

“And what?”

“Are you considering it?”

I shrug.

“I thought you hated this guy.”

“I do…I did.” I rub my palms on my jeans. Even though the volume is low, I hear Kane’s name from the television announcers, and when I glance over, I see his face briefly enlarged on the screen before the shot goes back to the full rink. “It’s complicated.”

“Shit.” Leaning against the counter, he shakes his head. “You’re really thinking about it?”

“Maybe.”

“Do you need money? If you’re struggling, I can help.”

“No. You’ve already helped enough. You’ve been a good friend-”

“Right.” He snorts through his nose, and says sarcastically, “A good friend.”

“Why don’t we make dinner, then we can-”

“You know what? I’m not feeling too great. I think I’m going to pass tonight.” He starts towards the door.

“Felix.”

He turns, his dark eyes suddenly fierce. “What?”

“I just…I don’t want you to be angry with me.”

“I’m not angry with you. I’m angry at myself for being a fool, thinking…” He shakes his head, jaw clenched, lips pressed in a thin line. “Just don’t expect me to be the guy you go running to when everything falls apart. Because it will, Brynne. A guy like Kane Madden is trouble.”

“You don’t know him.”

His brows pinch down even further. “I know what you’ve told me. He’s bad news. After everything he did to you, you’re just going to let him waltz back into your life. Into Noah’s life?”

“People make mistakes-”

“You’re defending him?”

“No. I just…”

“God, you’re in love with him, aren’t you?”

“I’m not.” I hate him. But the thought doesn’t hold the same fuel it used to. “He’s just…we’re just…”

“Just what? Because I’m pretty sure you weren’t going to say friends.”

No, Kane and I have never been friends. The only thing we’ve ever had in common was Sam. And now Noah.

Felix sighs heavily, the sound full of resignation. “Just think hard before you decide anything.”

I nod and he starts to turn, but when he reaches he door, he stops with his hand on the knob. He glances over his shoulder, his dark eyes burning with something I only now recognize - desire. And I feel foolish for not seeing it before.

“I didn’t mean what I said.” His jaw ticks, and his nostrils flare. “I’ll be here. When he fucks up. When he breaks your heart…again. I’ll be here.”

“This isn’t about my heart. It’s about Noah.”

His lips twitch up and he gives me a look that says he doesn’t believe me.

And, in all honesty, I don’t believe it myself. My heart has always been involved when it came to Kane, which is why I’d created a very high, very wide barrier around it.

I know Felix is right.

Given the chance, Kane will destroy me. Just like he destroyed the only person in this world who ever cared about me.