“Sam, is that you?” I ask when I hear footsteps enter my room.

“No, it’s me, Chase. I was hoping Sam was already here.” He kisses my cheek.

“What do you mean? Wasn’t he in his hotel room?” I sit up in bed.

“I knocked several times and yelled his name, but there was no answer.”

“That’s strange, maybe he went to go get some coffee and some breakfast for me. He knows I’d be starving.”

“I’m sure that’s it. He should be here anytime.”

“Good morning, Emma.” Dr. Byrd’s voice fills the room. “Are you ready for me to remove your mask?”

“Um, could we wait a little bit until Sam gets here?”

“Sure, I have a couple other patients to check on and I’ll come back.”

“Thank you, Dr. Byrd,” Chase says.

He hands me the phone and dials up Nana and Tennyson. I think they are even more anxious than I am. “Don’t expect a lot today, the doctor said it might be a couple of days. I can’t wait to see your beautiful little face,” I tell Tenny.

I hang up and start wringing my hands. “Where is he?” I ask Chase.

“I wish I knew.”

“I really want him here when my mask is removed.”

“I know you do…” He’s interrupted by Dr. Byrd.

“It’s now or never, Emma. I have to get to surgery,” she says sweetly, holding my hand.

I lay my head back, disappointed that Sam isn’t here, but excited about the possibility of seeing for the first time in years. “I’m ready.” Chase squeezes my hand to comfort me.

“Okay. Keep your eyes closed until I have the mask off.” She lifts the band from behind my head and pulls it off softly from my face. “I have the lights dim. I want you to slowly open your eyes.”

I shut them tight first, before gradually relaxing them. Very slowly, I let them flutter open. Dim shadows distinguish themselves in front of me. I squint to try and bring the room into focus. “I can see some shadows and faint colors, but it’s blurry.”

“That’s fully what I expected. Can you try to focus on my finger?”

One of the shadows moves back and forth in front of me, which I assume is her finger. I try to force my eyes to follow it, but I can’t track it very far.

Good job, Emma. The muscles in your eyes haven’t had to track in years. It will take some time, but you will be just fine. I want the lights to stay dim in here today and every couple of hours I want you to try to bring something into your focus. Chase, I want you to change which side of the bed you are sitting on every couple hours, too. I want her to track you as you move.”

“Will do, Doc. Thanks.”

A tear rolls down my face and stops at my cheek. “Where is he, Chase?”

“I’ll go back over to the hotel and look for him.”

“Something must have happened, it isn’t like Sam to be late.” I wipe at my lone tear.

“I’ll find him, please don’t cry.”

* * *

An hour later, Chase walks back through the door. I can see the shadow of him the moment he walks in. I remember what he looks like. I can make out the color of his blue shirt, but can’t see that someone is walking in with him.

“Did you find him?” I sit straight up in bed. Silence. A chill runs through my bones. He gets in the bed with me and wraps an arm around me. “What is it? What happened to him? You’re scaring the shit out of me.”

“I went to his room and beat on the door. When he didn’t answer, I had the front desk call his room. There was no answer. I convinced the manager to unlock his door for me.” I hear him swallow.

“What did you find?” My voice cracks, thinking the worst.

“He was gone. All his stuff was gone too.”

“What? No, he wouldn’t leave me. You must have been in the wrong room.” I throw the covers off and try to get out of bed, but Chase’s hand pushes me back down.

I was in the right room, baby girl. There was a letter on the coffee table addressed to you.” He places an envelope in my hand.

“Did you read it? What does it say?” Fear rushes through me.

“I didn’t open it,” he says quietly. “Do you want me to read it to you?”

Tears spill over it as I hold it to my chest. “Why would he leave me?” I cry out in pain. “Why?”

He holds me tight to him. “I don’t know, but I’m sure the answer is in the letter.”

“I can’t…I can’t read it. I don’t want to know until I can read it myself.” I continue to cry.

“I’m here. I won’t let you go,” he tells me, rocking me like a broken child.

* * *

One week later, I’m ready to leave the hospital. Sam still hasn’t contacted me, but at least I have regained most of my sight. The doctor said it could take up to a month before all my eye muscle strength returns. If I turn my head too fast, I get a little dizzy because my eyes aren’t moving quite as fast as a normal person’s eyes.

Chase has picked me up and is taking me to his new house. I can’t wait to see it, but I’m sure my excitement is hidden from him under a veil of sadness at Sam’s disappearance. I’ve kept Sam’s letter tucked in my pocket every day. I didn’t want to read it in the hospital. I refused to fall apart there again.

Squinting behind my dark, protective prescription sunglasses, I can make out the brown fencing and horses in the pasture along the side of the long driveway. “Is all this property yours?”

“No, I own a little piece of land off to the left here.” He makes a left turn.

“You’re right, Tennyson would love this place.”

“Wait until you see the inside of the house.” He parks his new Range Rover in front of a white ranch-style house with navy shutters.

A thick blanket of grass, the deepest green I have ever seen, greets me on the other side of the car door. I love that I can see color again. “This place is huge,” I tell him.

The inside of his house is decorated in bright orange and lime. Everything is perfectly tucked away in its respective niche. The entire back of the house is glass that overlooks his property. “This place is beautiful, Chase. I love how you’ve decorated it. It suits you,” I say, looking over the room. A chandelier throws an elegant yellow light over the room.

“It does suit me,” he says, placing his keys on a metal hook hanging from his massive kitchen bar. “Can I fix you something to eat and drink?”

“No, I think I’d really like to lay down, if that’s okay with you.”

“Whatever you need. I’ll show you to your room.”

I follow him down a long hall and enter a room that is decorated in my favorite shade of blue. “You decorated this for me?” I touch everything out of habit.

“Yep. I have a room all set up for Tenny too, for when she comes to visit.”

I sit down on the bed and take my shoes off. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I’m so glad I have you. I love you.”

He sits down beside me. “I know you do. I’m here for you when you’re ready to read that letter.” He places a kiss on my forehead. “Why don’t you get some rest? I’ll wake you up when dinner is ready.”

He gets up to leave, but before he shuts the door, he looks back at me. “I love you, too,” he says and shuts the door.

After falling back onto my soft bed, I pull the letter out of my pocket and remove my dark shades. Tears are already forming. I wanted to wait until I was by myself to read his letter and I don’t want to wait any longer. I need to know why he left me. I slowly open the envelope and unfold the letter. My hands are shaking as I start to read it.

Dear Emma,

I know that I will never be able to make you understand why I had to leave. The one thing I want you to know is how much I love you. I will never forget how much joy and happiness you brought to my life. I thank you for every moment we shared together. I want you to have only the best in life and to follow all your dreams. And, when you’re ready, give your heart to a man that deserves it. A man that won’t hold you back.

As much as I want to be that man, I’m afraid that I can’t be. I’m not the man you know and I couldn’t bear for you to see the real me, even though the real me will never be the same because of you. You saw the man I’ve wanted to be my entire life, but my fate, unfortunately, will never allow me to be that man.

I’m sorry I left when you needed me the most. I will always feel an extreme amount of guilt for that. Know this… you did nothing wrong. You are the most beautiful person I know. You are sweet, smart, loving, and an all-around amazing woman. Now that you have your sight, nothing can stop you. Don’t let your heartbreak over me take over your happiness. Shoot for the stars. If anyone can make it, you can. You’ve lived without for so long, it’s your turn to soar.

I crumple up the letter and throw it across the room. “If you loved me, you wouldn’t have left me!” I scream out in agony. Chase comes rushing through the door and sees the letter laying on the floor. He steps over it and hugs me, trying to dry my tears.

“I’m so sorry, baby girl.” He rocks with me on the bed until all my tears are dried up.

“I don’t understand how he can say he loves me, but left me.” I rub my nose with my hand, very un-ladylike.

“I don’t know either, but I do know that he loved you.” He looks down and bites his lip.

“What is it that you know?” I bark at him.

“He swore me to secrecy.”

“Well, he’s not here anymore. Spill it,” I demand.

He gets up and starts pacing in front of me. “Remember the grant letter?”

“That’s a stupid question, Chase. Of course I remember it. If it wasn’t for that grant, I wouldn’t have my sight back.”

He stops in front of me and kneels. “That’s just it. It was another denial letter.”

I search his eyes. “I don’t understand.”

“Sam paid for your surgery. He didn’t want you to know.”

I jump from my bed and almost knock him over in the process. “You’re right, that does sound like a man who loves me. There is something else going on here and as soon as I have my full eyesight back, I intend to find out what it is.”