“That’s the last of it. Nothing else is going to fit in this van.” I slam the trunk. “Are you sure you don’t want to come with us, Nana?”

“We’ve been over this - I don’t want to live in New York. I love it here, and all my friends are here. I will come up this summer and stay awhile.” She hugs me.

“I’m going to miss you, Nana,” Tenny says.

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m going to miss you too, but you are going to have such an adventure.” She cries when she hugs her neck.

“Come on, Sunny, load up.” She jumps into the back seat.

Nana buckles Tenny in the front. “You make sure you check in with me along the way. You can text me now that you got me a new phone. Send lots of pictures, too.” She waves and watches us back out of the driveway.

Tenny only lasts about thirty minutes in the car before passing out. I can’t believe we are really going to New York to live. I got offered an internship with a well-known designer. She’s going to teach me all the ins and outs of designing online. Now that I have my sight back, I need to learn all the latest and greatest programs out there. I don’t know who is more excited, me or Chase. Tenny is excited to be living with Chase again, she’s really missed him. I’ve made sure he knows we are only living there until I get on my own two feet. I put the shop up for sale and was amazed that I had an offer within two days.

The van rolls on through pastures so green that they remind me of Tennessee, and my thoughts inevitably wander to Sam. I cried the entire way home and the first week I was back. I finally stopped when I noticed Tenny was mimicking my actions. I refused to drown in the same sadness I felt after my parents died. I sucked up my heartbreak and started making a plan. Sam’s email almost knocked me off the wagon – my finger dangled over the open button for a long time – but I decided not to open it. Better yet, I blocked him. I knew that if I read it my heart would break all over again.

A few days after that, Nana handed me a letter from him. She asked me several times if I was going to open it, but I couldn’t. I marched myself down to the post office and sent it back to him, figuring that would get the message across to him. No such luck. I was teaching Nana how to check her voice mail and I almost fainted when I heard his voice on the recording. I cut it off as soon as he said his name.

“Don’t you want to hear what the boy has to say for himself?” Nana asked.

“Nope,” was all I replied before marching out, determined to follow through with my plans.

I will always love Sam and be thankful for what he did for me. I plan on saving money and paying him back. But for now, the money I made from the shop will buy a nice little house for Tenny and me. I’ve even promised her a goat.

That day I saw Sam in his wheelchair broke my heart. He looked so defeated, but I couldn’t make him understand that I loved him, not just his legs. I hope that one day he will fall in love again, even though it hurts to know it won’t be with me. Chase already has someone he wants me to meet. I’ve told him I’m not ready, but if I know him, he already has a plan in motion.

* * *

Three long days later and lots of whining from Tennyson, we finally pull up in Chase’s driveway. “We’re here!” she yells, jumping out of the car and sprinting straight into Chase’s arms.

“Come on, girl.” I let Sunny out. “You and I are chopped liver now compared to him.” She wags her tail and runs to Chase, too. “Okay, I guess it’s only me that’s chopped liver,” I laugh to myself.

Over the next week I get a lot accomplished. I enrolled Tenny in her new school and took her shopping for all new clothes. I’ve visited my new office and met everyone, and started my at-home tutorial on the software I will be using. Last but not least, Chase and I took Tenny to buy a goat.

“I like this one,” she squeals. “He has pretty brown spots on him.” She wraps her arms around the goat’s neck in a giant hug.

“I guess that’s the one we’re getting. I’ll go pay for him,” Chase says. I try to hand him my credit card, but he won’t take it.

“What are you going to name him?”

She bites at her little lip and cocks her head to one side. “I think I’ll name him Sam.”

I nearly fall over at her response. “Sweetie, you can’t name the goat Sam.”

She looks up at me with her big chocolate eyes. “He’s my goat. Why can’t I name him what I want?”

“You are not naming him Sam, it’s out of the question!” Tenny pouts her lip out.

“What’s going on here?” Chase asks, when he sees Tenny upset.

“I want to name my goat Sam and she won’t let me.” She points her finger in my direction.

Chase gets down on her level. “Sweetie, I think there are lots of other names to choose from. How about we go back home and make a list.” That seems to appease her for now, but little did I know that little devil would outsmart me. She named him Sawyer.

Tenny settles into school right away. She made lots of new friends on show-and-tell day when she walked Sawyer in on a leash.

We’ve all gotten into a routine. Chase drops Tenny off at school and I pick her up. I cook dinner most nights, but on Wednesdays we go out to eat. This week we are meeting Chase at the Pizza Palace, which has an arcade that Tenny has been begging to play at. I get us a booth and a roll of quarters for her to play the games and set her free, keeping an eye on her at all times from my seat. I am watching her laugh at a game she’s playing when Chase scares me by sliding into the booth next to me. He’s not alone – he’s brought a date. At least, that’s what I thought for the first five minutes.

“Emma, this is my friend Seth.” Seth is the name of the guy he wanted to set me up with. Damn him.

“It’s nice to meet you, Seth,” I say, plastering on a fake smile for Chase. He starts talking and I start checking him out. He’s nice looking with his sandy blonde hair. He has a strong-looking chin and broad shoulders covered with a black t-shirt. A band’s name that I have never heard of is scrawled across the front. He seems nice enough, but he sure talks a lot. He works at the same office as Chase.

“I’m going to go play a couple games with Tenny. It will give you two a chance to get to know one another.” I pinch his leg under the table.

“Chase has told me a lot about you. I feel like I already know you.”

“I’m sorry, Chase can be a little obsessive about his friends. Why don’t you tell me more about you?”

I listen to him talk back and forth with Chase over dinner. He even has Tenny laughing at his jokes. Somehow - I’m not sure how or when it happened - I agree to go have dinner with him one night.

He walks us to Chase’s car and kisses me on the cheek. I get inside and as soon as Chase hits the gas, I lay into him. “I am nowhere near ready to date. I wish you would have told me you were bringing him so that I could have refused to come!” I yell at him.

“That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you. Come on, what’s it going to hurt? One date, that’s all it is. If you don’t like him, you don’t ever have to see him again.”

“I hate you right now,” I growl at him.

“It’s okay to hate me, baby girl. I have broad shoulders.” He flashes his smile at me.

* * *

My date with Seth went really well. He’s such a nice guy, but I’m afraid that all I ever will feel is friendship towards him. We tried a few more dates but Sam occupied my thoughts the whole time I was with him. Any time I start to feel that heartbreak start up again, I delve into my work. I really love my new job, I’ve learned so much in a short period of time. I have even found that I’m a natural at photography. My boss has let me go to some of the photo shoots and get involved with taking pictures. Some of them, along with my designs, have been chosen to go into a nationally-known magazine.

It’s the quiet moments that are hard. As soon as my head hits the pillow, I dream of him. I long for the way he made me feel when he touched me. I’ve tried drowning out my thoughts by playing music, but then a song comes on with lyrics that remind me of him. I’m not sure I will ever get over him.

I call and check on Nana every Sunday. She tells me I’ve gotten a letter from Sam every week, and every week I tell her to throw it away. She always sounds sad at my answer. My boss is taking me to Paris to see the new summer line. I’ve always dreamed of going to Paris; surely that will be enough for me to completely be over Sam. Nana is coming up to stay with us next month to help with Tenny while I’m gone.