Once we got out of the shower, I tucked Emma back in bed and went back out to the couch. I did everything I could to not let Emma know that I’m in pain. It lasted longer this time than before. I didn’t want to ruin the moment between us, and it eased up after laying here for a while. All I want to think about is Emma in my arms. I finally found out the reason I wasn’t ready to leave: I found my heart. I know I haven’t known her long, but I’m crazy in love with her. I remember August being in love with Nash almost from the moment they met. I thought at the time he was kidding with me, but now I totally get it. I can’t get her out of my head, and the sex is amazing. I want her more each time. Her, in that wet t-shirt, letting me dance with her in the rain, pushed me over the edge. I’ve never wanted someone so badly in my life.

“Sam, are you awake?” Little fingers are pulling up my eyelids.

“I am now.”

“I’m hungry. Can you make pancakes?” She bats her eyes at me.

I sit up on the edge of the couch and rub my hand down my scruffy face, noticing how long my beard is getting. “Sure, do you want to help?”

“Yes,” she says and her face lights up.

She follows me into the kitchen and I pull out a chair for her to stand at the countertop. I take out a bowl and place the pancake mix beside it.

“I don’t think we are going to get to swim today. It’s raining,” she pouts.

“I think you’re right kiddo.” I hand her a spoon and pour the milk into the batter.

“Emma must be sleepy, she never sleeps this late,” she says as she stirs, splashing batter on the counter.

I’m sure she’s not used to being up half the night having sex, I think to myself, but say out loud, “I think she had a pretty full day yesterday.” I ruffle her knotted hair that is hanging half out of her ponytail. “I bet she wakes up from the smell of the pancakes you’re making.”

Once the griddle is warm, I help her pour the batter. “These are going to be my favorite,” she says and looks up at me with a big smile.

“You always say that,” I hear from behind me. Emma is dressed in her clothes from yesterday and she’s dragging her hand on the counter making her way toward us.

“Emma!” She jumps down and hugs her. “I made pancakes for you.”

“I can smell them.”

“You were right, the smell did wake her up,” she says, pointing at me.

I walk over to her and quietly kiss her on the cheek. “Why don’t you have a seat and Tennyson and I will serve you.”

“Wow, this is a real treat.”

Emma sits across from me and my feet wander over to find hers under the table. She smiles and blushes when they brush against hers. Tennyson is so busy stuffing her mouth with pancakes that she doesn’t even look up.

“What would you girls like to do today, since we obviously can’t swim with it raining this hard?”

“I think we should play in the rain,” Emma says.

Tennyson all but drops her fork. “You hate the rain.” Her eyes are big as golf balls.

She smiles sweetly at me. “I’m learning to conquer my fears… well, more like embrace them.” Her toes slip under my pant leg and her touch turns me rock hard.

Clearing my throat, I say, “I think that’s a great idea. I put your bathing suit in the dryer last night. As soon as you’re finished you can go get it on.”

“Can I play with Sadie first?” she asks.

“I put her in her goat house last night, but knowing her she’s already been playing in the rain. You could take Sunny out for a minute, I’m sure she has to pee.”

“Okay,” she says as she hops up.

“Put your swimsuit on first,” Emma tells her.

Emma meets me at the sink as I start washing the dishes. “Here, you cooked, let me wash the dishes.”

“I won’t argue with that logic.” I place a quick kiss to her lips. “I need to ask you something.”

“You can ask me anything, Sam.”

“Please tell me you are on the pill. I got so carried away outside in the rain last night, I completely forgot to use a condom.”

“I got carried away too, if it makes you feel any better. But yes, I’ve been on the pill for some time now. I had some female issues when I was younger and the pill helps.”

I let out a long breath. “Thank God.”

She runs her wet hand down my back and kisses my shoulder.

“Do you love Sam?” I hear a giggle from a few feet away. “You just kissed him,” Tennyson points out and laughs.

To my complete surprise, Emma turns around and squats down to Tennyson’s level. “As a matter of fact, yes, I do love Sam. Are you okay with that?” she asks.

“Oh, Emma, I love Sam too,” she almost knocks Emma over hugging her. “Does that mean you’ll get your eyes fixed now?”

Emma pulls Tennyson out of her arms. “How do you know about that?”

“I heard Chase and Nana talking about it one night when they thought I was asleep.” She looks down.

“You know it’s not right to listen to other people’s conversations, right?”

“I know, but I couldn’t help it. I want you to see again. I want you to see how big I’ve gotten.”

“Tenny, I see you every day, I don’t need eyes for that.”

“But I want you to see again.” She pouts her little lips out.

“I want you to see, too,” I say, kneeling down with them.

“I will do it. I’ll fill out the paperwork again for the grant.”

“Good, now that that is settled, let’s go play in the rain.” Pain flares in my back as I begin to stand up. I try not to make a sound, but a groan escapes.

“Are you okay?” Emma asks.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I blow it off. Come on, let me find you a pair of shorts and a t-shirt to wear.”

* * *

Chase pulls up while we are all splashing around in the lake in the pouring rain. His jaw almost hits the ground when he sees us. “How in the hell did you get her out in the rain?” he asks.

“She’s conquering her fears,” Tennyson answers him. “And, she’s going to get her eyesight back.”

Even though Emma can’t see his facial expression, she responds, “Close your mouth Chase, I know it’s hanging open.” She gets out of the water and hugs him. It doesn’t even faze him as he swings her around in his arms. “Is it true? Are you finally going to have surgery?”

“I’ve agreed to apply for the grant again. We’ll see what happens.”

“I’ve already filled it out. All you have to do is sign it. It will only take a couple of weeks to come back.”

“You can put me down now, Chase,” she laughs.

“Let’s go inside and get dried off,” I tell them.

Once inside, we all change out of our wet clothes. “Nana is making dinner for us tonight, Sam, if you would like to join us,” Chase asks.

“I’ll have to pass, I’ve got something I need to take care of that I’ve been putting off for long enough.”

“Will I see you later this week?” Emma asks.

“How about I bring you some fresh coffee and bagels by the shop tomorrow?” We head out with an umbrella to Chase’s car.

“I’ll miss you,” she says as she stretches up on her tippy toes to kiss me.

“Mmm, you’re more than welcome to come back and spend the night with me,” I whisper at her lips.

“Very tempting, but I think I need to spend a little time with Nana tonight. She’s used to me being around on the weekends.”

“Okay, then tell Nana I said hello.” I shut the door of the Camaro and Tennyson sticks her head out to say goodbye. Sunny is in the back seat climbing over Tennyson to stick her head out the window too.

Before Chase climbs into the driver’s side, he calls my name. “Sam, nice job getting Emma in the rain.” He slaps his hand on the roof of the car and then gets in.

I wait until the car disappears down the driveway and I bend over in pain. I drag my way to the front porch and collapse to the wood floor, lying motionless until it subsides enough for me to get to my feet. I dig the pain meds out of a drawer and down a couple of them with a bottle of water, then lay down on the couch with my eyes closed until I fall into a restless sleep.

My phone goes off next to my ear, startling me awake. I glance at the time and know that it’s my mother.

“Hey, Mom.”

“Sam, are you okay? I’ve been calling you for about an hour, and I was worried sick. You always answer your phone.”

“Sorry, Mom. I was up late last night. I laid down for just a minute and I must have fallen asleep.” None of that was really a lie, I tell myself.

We have our usual conversation and then I tell her about Emma.

“When do I get to meet her?”

“I don’t know, Mom, but I may be going back to Tennessee soon. I have some things I need to take care of.”

“I know August will be so happy to see you.”

“Please don’t say anything to him. I’ll let you know when I’ll be there so maybe you could fly out to see me.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m good, I’ll keep you posted.” We end the call.

I make my way into the bathroom, hoping a shower will loosen up my back. Before the mirror fogs from the steam, I take a good long look at myself. Everything about me has changed so much, even my facial features. My chin is more chiseled along with the rest of my body. I’ve become a completely independent man. I’ve found a woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with. A few years back I never thought that would happen. I had no plans of burdening a woman with a cripple. Now I’ve found a woman that makes me feel alive. I don’t want to hide anymore. More than anything, I want Emma to see again. I plan on making that happen - not because I need her to see, but because she deserves to. I’ll love her either way. Once I know she got the grant, I’ll make an appointment with my doctor back home to have the surgery that I need. I’ll tell her when the time is right.

The one thing I want to do right now is shave this beard off. I don’t want to hide anymore and I want Emma to see and know the real Sam. The man I’ve become, not the clueless kid that I was.