Chapter Seventeen

 

 

 

Kaiden

I kept staring at the wet spot on the sheets to remind myself that what had happened was truly real. It didn’t matter that I was naked in Emerson’s bed, my brain insisted on plunging me into more feasible scenarios that didn’t include my brother and the fact that he’d just fucked my ass so good I’d spunked all over.

The shower shut off, and when I heard Emerson move down the hall to the kitchen, I crawled out of bed and scurried to my room for clean underwear. If I’d thought for one minute it was all a dream, then the delicious ache in my ass reminded me of the truth.

Under the hot shower, I closed my eyes, reliving every moment, every touch, and saw the hunger radiating again from Emerson’s steady gaze. It was all too much, yet utterly perfect at the same time. Each claiming thrust, his firm grip, and the owning kisses told our story.

I’d spent three weeks mulling over what to do, arguing with myself that I should let it go, and trying to ignore the blunt actions I’d taken. Three weeks stewing over right and wrong, and inevitably, three weeks aching for the courage to approach Emerson again, knowing in my heart I’d already decided.

Our connection had always been strong, ever since we were kids. Our bond had always been more than most siblings, but I’d spent years forcing myself to remain blind to the truth. We were best friends and helped each other through all life’s struggles, and between us, we’d had our fair share. Why did it surprise me that we fit so perfectly in the bedroom as well?

The water sluiced over my skin as I remembered the ownership and claiming words he’d voiced. A shiver of renewed need shot straight to my dick, and I clenched my ass on impulse, feeling his assault once again. My mind shifted, envisioning more, imagining the way his lips might feel wrapped around me and sucking me into oblivion.

Before I became too aroused again, I washed up and turned off the water. In only a pair of underwear, I returned to his bedroom and stripped his bed. We’d made a mess and night was descending. Hauling the load to the laundry room, I started it up then followed the smell of searing meat and spices to the kitchen and Emerson.

He too wore only underwear. Fitted black boxer briefs that hugged his ass perfectly, accenting his assets and drawing my eyes. I raked my gaze over his exposed body while his back was turned at the stove. For many years, I’d hated how perfect Emerson was compared to me, but now I simply devoured what he’d claimed was all mine.

His broad shoulders, thick, muscular thighs, and well-formed biceps were all on display and called to me. Remembering the size and shape of his cock which was hidden underneath his briefs, larger and more perfectly sculpted than my own, I sucked in a breath. All the things I wanted to explore surfaced—a need to learn a whole new side of Emerson—and I couldn’t wait.

Palming my hardening dick, encouraging it to settle down, I cleared my throat to draw his attention.

Emerson glanced over his shoulder and scanned my near naked form, hunger filling his deep brown eyes. He licked his lips before speaking. “Grilled chicken, veggies, and rice. That okay?”

“Yeah.” My voice was hoarse, and Emerson chuckled as he turned back to the stove and shuffled the vegetables in the frying pan. “I, ah, started a load of laundry. The bedding was a mess. My bad.”

He nodded but didn’t turn around again. His cheek rose in an obvious grin he couldn’t hide. “Grab some plates, the rice needs more time, but it’s almost ready.”

I dug through the cupboards and drawers gathering plates and silverware and set them on the counter. Everything was so casual like we hadn’t just spent the last hour in a tangle of forbidden passion.

“You’re awfully relaxed considering what we just did,” I blurted after too many long moments of silence.

After another stir of the veggies and chicken, he dropped his fork on the counter before turning to face me. Reaching out, he snagged my hand and pulled me against him. I went willingly, needing his assuredness to calm my turmoil. Needing my big brother to tell me this was all okay.

Us touching intimately seemed to be the most natural thing in the world. I couldn’t deny the fulfillment and peace that settled inside me when our bodies came into contact. It was Emerson. My rock. The one person I knew I could always rely on.

His fingers, dancing over the small of my back, dipping every now and again under the band of my underwear, and the heat simmering in his eyes brought me to life. I’d always looked up to him, envied him, and wanted nothing more than to be just like him. Having shared something so intimate, a wash of vulnerability overtook me.

“Is this okay?” he asked when an edge of panic must have shown on my face.

“It feels really good. Scary good. I’ve…” The absurdity of what I was about to voice made my cheeks heat, and I bit my tongue instead.

“You’ve what, Kai? We really need to be open and honest right now, because this, what we’ve done, it’s a big deal.”

He was right. It was a huge deal, but it wasn’t just me alone contemplating forbidden thoughts any longer. It was both of us, coming to terms with the fact we’d crossed those lines and learning how we felt about it.

“I’ve relied on you my whole life. Trusted you to take care of me when no one else would. I just… can’t believe how much I still crave it at twenty-three. To be cared for by you. Taken care of. To give up that control to you, except on a whole different level. It’s just a lot to process, you know?”

“Believe me, I know.” Our gazes lingered, and the close connection of our bodies was enough to calm me in that moment of uncertainty. “Let’s eat, okay? We probably should talk a bit.”

Emery went about finishing our food while I sat in contemplative thought at the table. When he rested a full plate of chicken veggie stir fry in front of me, I smiled. “Thanks.”

No words were spoken as we ate. It was a time for reflection for both of us. So many things to consider, and no guidelines to follow. How unusual was our bond? Did other people go through what we were going through? Did they question their sanity? There was no way in the vast open world that we were alone.

I speared a piece of chicken and stared at it on my fork. It dripped with savory herbs and spices, perfectly seared and juicy. “When did you learn how to cook? Who taught you?” I couldn’t remember a time when Emerson lacked the skill, so it made me wonder.

“No one taught me. I taught myself because I had to.” Emerson met my gaze a moment before studying his plate. “When Dad died, Mom didn’t always remember to make meals. You were too little to do those things on your own, so I had to make sure you ate properly.” He chuckled at the memory. “I was not all that good at it. Don’t you remember how much grilled cheese and soup we ate?”

A smile spread across my face. “I do. But I thought you made that because you knew I liked it.”

“I’m glad you liked it, but honestly, it was from a pure lack of skill.”

We ate in silence, both of us lost in the past. When Emerson had disappeared from my life for four years, I’d missed his obsessive need to make sure I was okay all the time. As a teenager, I’d thought him overbearing and sometimes annoying, but I craved the idea of giving him back that control. He seemed to like it, and oddly, so did I.

“Thank you,” I said after a time.

Emerson smiled and winked. “Always. I love you, Kai.”

He’d always openly expressed himself and ensured I knew I was loved growing up, especially since I’d never heard those words uttered sincerely from our mother. It warmed me inside to hear them again after going four years without.

We finished eating, and as Emerson cleared the table, thoughts of the future surfaced along with a hundred and one worries. I squirmed on my chair, unable to sit still any longer.

“What if people find out?” I blurted. “How inconspicuous can we really be? Even if we never show more than brotherhood outside the bedroom, it will become suspicious. Maybe not at first, but people are going to wonder about us. I mean, like your buddy, Jagger.”

Emerson arched a brow and waited for me to explain.

“How long before he starts to wonder why you aren’t dating? Or why I stay living with you instead of getting my own place? Or do we live separate just to keep the heat off us?”

Emerson thought for a minute before shrugging. “To be honest, Jagger and I don’t share that much about our relationships. A little back and forth but not enough that my silence would raise suspicions. Besides, it’s not like I couldn’t tell him I had a date here or there. Make something up. To be honest, I haven’t been with anyone solidly enough to even introduce them to Jagger. I don’t think he’ll be a problem. And we aren’t living apart, either, so get that out of your head.”

“What about Mom, Cooper, the neighbors—”

“Nobody can know, Kaiden, and no one will know. We will be careful. Everything that happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. In public, you’re nothing more than my brother and all interactions will stay as such.”

“I know. It just… it’s a huge fucking scary secret, and I’m a little freaked out.”

Emerson left the dirty dishes and pulled me up from the chair. Guiding me by the hand, he dragged me into the living room and sat me on the couch before sinking down beside me. He shuffled a leg beneath him until we faced each other then he rested a hand on my knee.

“You don’t think this freaks me out too? You don’t think I’ve been rolling it around my head for a long time, wondering if it’s a mistake?”

“You seem so calm.”

“I’m not. Believe me. I’m terrified at how badly I want you, and at where the risk of wanting you puts us. Being shunned back in South Bell for being gay will look like nothing compared to what could happen if people find out about us. I’d lose my job, my teaching credentials, respect from anyone we know, all of it. It would be like being exiled. We’d probably have to move just to stay sane.”

My breathing came faster as sweat prickled my skin at the implication. What the fuck were we doing?

“Kaiden, look at me.”

I searched his face, seeking guidance and comfort like I had throughout my entire life. He’d always been the one to take care of me, and I knew I could rely on his strength through this as well.

“We have each other, right? We aren’t alone. No matter how wrong society says this is, they don’t know us. It feels right to me, Kai. What happened in there,” he nicked his chin toward the hall and his bedroom, “I wouldn’t take it back for anything. For the first time in my life, I didn’t feel like I was settling for something that was only half-right for me. There has always been a disconnect with lovers in the past. Something profound that’s been missing. I’ve never felt more in tune to anyone like I do you, and I don’t give a fuck if we’re related. I don’t regret a thing.”

He touched my face and grazed his thumb over my cheek before planting a sweet kiss on my lips. My eyes fell shut, and a relieved breath escaped my lungs taking with it the weight of anxiety I’d carried for weeks. I kissed him back, reveling in the soft assuredness and confidence that surrounded him.

“If you need to panic, Kai, I’ll be here. If you’re scared, I’ll try to soothe it and make it better. All I’ve ever wanted to do is protect you and keep you safe in this world. Somewhere along the way, those feelings grew into more. Should I be ashamed of them? Maybe, but I’m not.”

“No shame,” I whispered. “I feel it, too.”

“You and me, Kai. We don’t need anyone’s acceptance or approval. But we do need to be careful.”

“I know.”

Our mouths joined again, longer that time as Emerson sucked my lips and swirled his tongue against my own. We explored the new level of our relationship for a long time. Joined in a passionate kiss, Emerson guided me to lie across the couch as he came down on top of me. His underwear barely contained the strain of his erection, and I moved my hand to feel the mound as he took me deeper.

When my palm glided over his swell, he groaned and pressed back, encouraging me along. “Fuck!” He gasped and broke our kiss, sucking in a breath and thrusting his hips. “Touch me. Underneath. Need to feel you.”

He lapped and nipped at my neck as I slid my hand under the band of his underwear, securing a grip to his throbbing length. He was pulsing and hot. I traced blindly along each vein and ridge of his dick, tugging a few times and causing him to pause and stutter in his own actions.

“Jesus, Kai.”

“Tell me what to do.” I craved his direction and didn’t shy away from asking for it. I knew how much he liked the control.

Emerson lifted his head, rocking into my hand as I stroked him. His eyes fluttered closed a minute before he opened them again, lust and hunger right at their surface. “I bet you’d look amazing with a cock in your mouth.”

I licked my lips in response as a bead of cum grew from his slit. I traced my thumb over the spill, circling his crown. “Want me to suck your dick?”

He nodded and batted my hand away in the same instance. He was off the couch, and his underwear were gone in a flash. Positioning himself on the edge of the coffee table, he spread his legs and fondled his balls as he skewered me with a savageness I’d never seen before. Fuck it was hot.

“On your knees,” he commanded.

I dropped to the floor immediately, saliva filling my mouth at the prospect of what I was going to do. Emerson gave himself a few strokes as he watched me. When he crooked a finger and weaved his other hand through my hair, I went willingly.

Gliding my hands up his thighs, I pushed his legs further apart, admiring my destination and licking my lips.

“I’ve dreamed about this, Kaiden. You have no fucking idea how hot this is for me.”

“For me, too.”

He held his dick up, leaning it toward me, encouraging me forward. I drew my tongue along his head, circling it before wrapping my mouth around and giving him a small bit of suction. I was instantly rewarded with a burst of flavor. It coated my tongue, a hint of bittersweetness that pulsed need straight to my dick. I was achingly hard already.

When I went to give myself a few strokes as I licked him again, he tsked. “What did I tell you in the bedroom?”

I lifted my mouth from him and peered up into that heated look on his face. It was enough to make my knees weak. He didn’t need to tell me twice, I returned my hand to his thigh just as he nodded back to his dick.

“As you were.”

I cracked a smile as I turned back to my prize. It was time to put any experience I had sucking cock to the test. If there was anyone in my life I’d ever strived to please, it was Emerson.

Lapping up the leakage from his tip, I then wrapped my mouth around him once again, sucking gently as I drew him further down my throat. He was big enough I knew I’d choke if I didn’t keep my throat muscles relaxed. The fingers tangled in my hair tightened, and he threw his head back on a moan as he lifted his hips, forcing himself deeper.

“So fucking good.”

Another inch, another long, sucking slide took me almost to the base of his cock where the musky scent of his trimmed pubes tickled my nose. I forced myself further, fitting him down my throat and forcing control of my gag reflex so I wouldn’t choke. He dripped again as he yanked my hair, drawing me up his shaft before thrusting in with more force.

I bobbed my head up and down, swallowing and working him around my throat when he was all the way in. His reactions and sounds were all the fuel I needed. Faster, and with more gusto, I sucked him closer to the edge, slurping and drinking the tiny offerings my efforts produced.

When I was sure he was wavering close to orgasm, he yanked me off, holding me at bay with a hand on my chin, swiping the trail of drool I’d brought with me.

He panted, his pupils fully blown as he looked down at me. “Bend over the back of the couch. Now.”

I hustled to obey, dropping my underwear and only semi-aware of him jetting down the hall in search of supplies. When I was in position, knees spread wide, a slick finger pressed against my hole, surprising me. He sank it in fully before I could get away.

One finger turned quickly to two, then three, pumping and exploring my depths, tapping my prostate and sending nonsense to spew past my lips.

Before I could complain it was too much, those fingers were replaced with his dick. He pushed all the way inside me in one long thrust as he hung his body over mine, crushing us together.

“I could get used to this,” I sputtered, catching hold of the couch and digging my nails into the fabric.

“You and me both. Better hold on, Kai, because I’m gonna punish this ass.”

And he wasn’t joking. When he moved, there was nothing sensual about it. He slammed into me, pistoning his hips and chasing his orgasm with determination. With the angle he’d taken, every shot forward landed him against my prostate, and I was tossed so close to the edge myself I couldn’t make words.

Instinctively, I reached for my dick, needing release just as badly. His growl stilled my hand, and I whimpered, seeking friction against the couch instead. There was none, and Emerson’s mouth appeared by my ear.

“Fuck… I’m gonna come…” Another slam, another jerk forward and he stilled, his entire body rigid and trembling with release. His opened mouth rested against my shoulder, silently crying out his pleasure as he shuddered and spilled into the condom.

I ached to join him. Gasping and desperate, I reached back and threaded fingers into his hair, trying to indicate my need. As his orgasm subsided, his dick left my ass. The sudden emptiness made me want to cry until Emerson flipped me around and sucked me into the back of his throat in one long glide.

“Fuuuck!” I screamed with a hoarse, broken voice as he continued to ravage me with the same brutality as he’d shown my ass. I exploded before I even knew I was coming, shooting an unbelievably huge load down his throat. He drank every drop, sucking every stitch of pleasure from me until I collapsed, unable to move or speak.

I must have blissed out, because when my senses realigned, Emerson was returning from down the hall. He stood over top of me and offered his hand. Uncoordinated, my nerves making me a shaking, jittering mess, I let him pull me to stand.

“Go crawl into bed, I just put new sheets on it.” He kissed my shoulder then my neck until he nuzzled my chin. “I’ll be there in a few minutes. I’m just gonna shut the house down.”

I think I nodded, but I was too far gone to know for sure. My trip to the bedroom happened in a haze. His sheets were cool and comfortable. I sank onto the mattress and my eyes fell heavily, unable to stay open anymore.