Chapter Twenty-Three

 

 

Emerson

The summons came the week before classes started. Teachers were already on premise, setting up for the new school year. I got a phone call early in the morning on September second asking that I come in for a meeting at the school at nine a.m. sharp the following day.

Kaiden hovered outside the bathroom while I got ready, his anxiety over the whole thing way higher than my own. He’d needed constant reassurance that we’d be all right. I understood it was difficult for him, too. He’d put any decisions about college on hold, and he couldn’t explain it to Cooper when he’d asked.

When I emerged after showering, freshly clean in a pair of slacks, a button up, and a tie, Kaiden was leaning against the wall, gnawing his fingernails to nubs.

“Are you leaving?”

“In about five minutes. Are you okay?”

“No. Will you call me when you know something?”

“When I can. If it goes how I suspect, I’ll be cleaning out my desk probably under the watchful eye of security. In that case, I’ll call from the truck or just come home.”

Kaiden sighed. “How are you so calm?”

I inhaled a deep breath and drew him into my arms. Because I have to be. For Kaiden’s sake if for no other reason. I was his pillar of strength, and I knew he needed me.

“I’m worried,” I said honestly. “But I can’t change it, so I need to wear a brave face and accept it.”

“Have you talked to Jagger?”

“Not since the day of registration. I’m pretty sure I ruined our friendship.”

Kaiden’s arms squeezed tighter. I kissed his head and pulled back, cupping his cheeks in my palms. “Try not to worry. Go find a movie to watch, and I’ll call you as soon as I can.”

He opened his mouth to protest, and I sealed our lips together, stopping any objection. He sighed into the kiss and leaned more against me, almost as though needing me to hold him up. I would for always if he’d let me. Kaiden was my world. He always had been and always would be. Wrong or right. He was mine.

I put all of myself into the kiss, treasuring his taste and the soft glide of his tongue when it met my own. I nipped his lip and stole his breath. Only when I remembered where I needed to be did I pull back reluctantly.

Worry still raced behind his eyes, but he backed away and allowed me to leave as he found a movie to distract himself.

The school was quiet. As I paced my way to the main office, I observed many teachers busy in their classrooms, but there weren’t students about yet to fill the halls. I tried not to let my mind get away from me and focused instead on how I might respond when asked about the circumstances surrounding Kaiden and me.

In the office, I was asked to wait because Jim Kean, the principal, was in a meeting already, and I would be called upon when he was ready for me.

Doing my best not to fidget, I steered my thoughts to Kaiden. Last night was probably the most passionate we’d ever been in bed. I chalked it up to my meeting today and the risks we’d taken. We hadn’t slept much. All night we’d tried to be as close to each other as possible, supporting and leaning on each other for all it was worth because we knew the morning could mean a change to our lives.

Twenty minutes passed before the office door opened. I reflexively went to stand until I saw who emerged. Alexa and her father. My ass returned to the chair as my pulse spiked. Adam didn’t see me at first, but once he’d closed the door behind him and our eyes met, his face changed to one of regret and possibly frustration. I wanted to jump up and explain myself, but I had no defense and nothing productive to say.

He snagged Alexa’s arm and steered her away with an edge of annoyance. Her arms were crossed, and she dragged her feet in an act of teenage defiance or irritation. I thought I caught an eye roll just as they turned a corner out of sight.

No words were exchanged.

I stared at the closed door to the office, wondering why I hadn’t been invited in immediately. Wiping my sweaty palms along my slacks, I checked the time on the wall clock. I’d been there forty minutes past my appointment time. My anxiety was becoming harder to manage, and I really just wanted to get this over with.

It was another fifteen minutes before the door opened again. I jumped up, ready to be admitted, and came face to face with Jagger as he exited Mr. Kean’s office. Our eyes locked. The stern expression on his face did nothing to calm my insides. He glared, unwavering, until I choked out a meek, “Hi.”

Jagger shoved his hands in his pockets and sniffed as he gave a brisk nod and turned to walk away.

I watched him go until he was out of sight then turned back where I was met by Mr. Kean who stood with his door open.

“Emerson.”

“Good morning.” My voice came out stronger than I expected. Thankfully.

“Come on in. This shouldn’t take long.”

Walking into the room and sitting on the still-warm chair that had recently been vacated by Jagger was like moving through a dream. Every action took effort, and the haze of reality surrounding me didn’t seem real.

Mr. Kean took his seat behind his desk and folded his hands over the top.

“Do you know why you’re here, Emerson?”

I nodded once and sat straighter, hoping to go out with some element of dignity. “I do.”

“Good. So let me clarify the actions we’ve taken. Mr. Powers, Adam, has agreed to allow Alexa’s diagnosis to be included in her personal file. He apologizes for the omittance and the trouble it’s caused. He and Alexa understand it is in her best interest to have a proper IEP set up to help her be successful in her future. He was extremely thankful for your confidence in the matter when he shared it with you last year, but after many discussions with Alexa, they are both on board for helping her achieve the highest standard she is capable of.”

I squinted and shook my head, utterly confused about the direction of the conversation. “I’m sorry, I’m not following.”

Mr. Kean’s brow creased, and he leaned forward, studying me. “Are you feeling all right? You seem pale.”

I nodded, shook, nodded my head, unsure how to answer.

Mr. Kean sighed. “I’m sorry, I should have stated this first. The misunderstanding from last week has been cleared up, if that is where your concerns lie. Based on your appearance, I assume you’ve heard about that mix-up?”

I blinked, confusion leaving me without more of a response. Mix-up?

“I strongly dislike rumors being spread about my teaching staff, and I assure you the problem has been fixed. Alexa’s inappropriate behavior over the summer was unknown to the school, but Alexa admits to following you around and prying into your personal life. Adam says he was aware of her obsessive feelings toward you, and he should have clamped down on them sooner. It was the main reason he’s decided to be more forthcoming about Alexa’s diagnosis. He’s embarrassed and hopes you can accept his apology with the matter.”

I flinched and failed to summon words to request clarity over what the hell was going on.

“The claims Alexa made to her father about your personal life were based on assumptions. Mr. Hyatt has come forward and helped clear up that misunderstanding. He is working with Adam and Alexa to develop an IEP for her school year, and I thought it would be great if the two of you might work together—with Alexa and Adam, of course—to develop the plan, since you had her as a student recently and Mr. Hyatt will be teaching her this semester. Adam shared how you modified your programing wonderfully, and Alexa quite enjoyed your class.”

Flabbergasted didn’t quite begin to describe the confusion going on inside my head. I wanted to ask a million questions but knew enough to sit quietly. Jagger had cleared up the misunderstanding? What had he said? What did this all mean? I wasn’t being fired?

Mr. Kean stared at me, waiting for a reply.

“Umm, I think Mr. Hyatt and I could definitely work on that.” Except Jagger hated my guts—I thought. I was more confused than ever.

“Good. I’ll let you two confer and set up a meeting with Adam then.”

He pushed back from his desk marking the end of our meeting. That was it?

I moved robotically from my seat, worked a smile to my lips which felt stiff and fake, then ducked out of the room with a short goodbye and thank you.

Once I’d cleared the office, I bolted straight for the back doors leading out to the staff parking lot. It took everything in me not to break out into a run. My insides were knotted, and my head was a pounding mess. I needed to step away and figure out what just happened.

The minute I rounded the corner to my truck, I came to a grinding halt. Jagger was leaning up against the tailgate, peering in my direction. For a beat, we did nothing more than stare at one another. I approached with hesitant steps, much slower than my previous escape. When I arrived at the truck and stopped beside him, he inhaled deeply through his nose and glanced around, scanning the lot.

“You’re welcome,” he said, the crisp edge to his voice telling me he was still angry.

“Why?” I didn’t know how to express all the lingering questions, but that single word seemed to encompass them all.

Jagger pursed his lips, and a short, derisive laugh escaped him. “Because, you’re my brother, Em. I may not get it, I may not agree with it, but I won’t let you go down for it.” His sweeping gaze came to rest on my own.

“Thank you,” I croaked. “You have no idea what this means to me.”

“I’m hurt. You should have told me.”

It was my turn to laugh. “It’s not something people will be accepting of. I couldn’t, you have to know that.”

Jagger pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. “Come on. Drive somewhere. We need to talk.”

Relief hadn’t quite hit me yet. The realization that my best friend, the man standing in front of me, had probably saved my career was enough to make me want to grab him and hug him. However, Jagger had a wall up, and despite what he’d done for me, he was angry. Rightfully angry.

We got in the truck, and I drove. I didn’t know where I was going, but after a few random turns, we ended up at the hills where Kaiden had worked with Cooper all winter. There was no snow, and the late summer breeze ruffled the leaves in the trees. The lift was still, and the building was dark and locked up tight. Everything lay dormant, waiting for winter’s return. The small parking lot sat empty.

I killed the engine, and Jagger remained rigid, staring at the empty mountainside. I didn’t know what to say or ask, so I waited for him to feel ready to talk.

“I confronted Adam after he spoke with Jim on registration day. I was less than professional, I’ll have you know. Called him an idiot for reporting something when he didn’t have the full story.”

“But he kinda did. What did you tell him?”

Jagger sighed and pinched his eyes closed, leaning back in the seat like he was exhausted. “I told him Kaiden was your boyfriend, and you’d known him for years. The term ‘brother’ is simply used as an endearment, just like I call you brother and many other men refer to friends as a brother. I told him Alexa was confused. I told him because you’re gay, you don’t like waving the term ‘boyfriend’ around the student’s faces because it can cause a lot of unwanted attention, so you tend to introduce Kaiden differently. It was simply a common term that must have slipped out in her presence.”

I shifted to face him, mouth gaping. “You lied to him.”

“To save your fucking ass.”

“You put your own career on the line.”

“I know, so don’t fuck this up.”

I couldn’t shake my head fast enough, dread seeping in on all sides. “Jag, no, Jesus, Kaiden helped me coach. He signed in last year as a volunteer using the same last name as me. That’s proof in itself. Anyone who wants the truth need only check his volunteer papers. He wore a name sticker.”

“I know, and I took a risk. Before I opened my mouth, I questioned Adam about what all he shared with Jim. Alexa never mentioned him helping coach, from what I could tell. She talked about Kaiden from all the times she’d spied on you two, even though they included him being at the school, she didn’t say why. Besides, the visitor’s name badges don’t have last names on them. That information is only recorded at the office. Alexa can’t make the connection because she wouldn’t have seen his last name, and Adam didn’t say anything about Kaiden being a volunteer. Jim won’t have a reason to look him up.”

“Shit, Jagger—”

“Adam floundered when he realized what had happened and became too apologetic. I set up the meeting with Jim after Adam and I talked more. The focus was entirely on Alexa.”

I dropped my head to the steering wheel, letting a puff of air escape my lips. “So you made her father believe his little girl’s diagnosis was partly to blame?”

“She was stalking you, Emerson. None of this would have happened if she hadn’t been hanging out at your house. We talked about her diagnosis, yes, but he brought it up. He blamed the error on himself, not her.”

“But that was really fucking low.”

“So call me an asshole. You didn’t lose your job or career, and in the end, that girl is going to get the help she desperately needs that her father has denied her for years. Maybe it wasn’t the best way to make it happen, but it is what it is.”

I stared at Jagger, baffled. “I don’t even know what to say.”

“Try, thank you.”

“Thank you.”

The hurt behind Jagger’s eyes remained. I sat back and surveyed the great expanse of land in front of me, teaming with life, green and alive. Hours ago, I was certain my life in Port Raven was finished. But there I was. I still had my job, Kaiden could attend college if he wanted, and everything might be okay.

“Can I ask you something?” Jagger’s voice broke into my thoughts.

“Anything.”

“How long has this been going on?”

“May.”

Jagger nodded as though he could almost have guessed. “That’s when you two cleared the air, so I’m guessing the argument beforehand was to do with all this?”

“Somewhat. It was a long time coming, I think.”

“I can’t really wrap my head around it.”

“I don’t expect you to.”

“Last question. Does this have anything to do with the huge blow up four years ago that kept you two apart? You know, the incident you refuse to speak about.”

I chuckled and threaded fingers through my hair. Of course, he would never let it rest. “Yeah, it does.”

Jagger made a gesture like I should go on, so I quirked a brow. “You want me to explain?”

“Not that I want to know how you ended up in bed with your brother, but I swore to myself I’d have the answer to this one day. Plus, I’m curious how this came about. How does someone decide to do what you guys did?”

“I practically raised my brother, you know that. You know about my mother’s issues and my dad dying when we were young, well Kaiden only ever had me. We have always been close. As a teenager, I noticed I became a lot more protective of him, especially when he started doing stupid stuff and making stupid decisions. I’d do everything to keep him in line, but unless I got really firm with him, he didn’t listen. But getting firm with him brought something out in him… and me. It was…” I shook my head. “I couldn’t explain it at the time. Then, he started dating. It made me worse. I couldn’t explain it, but I hated watching him flirt with anyone. It pissed me off.”

“I’ve always thought he was straight. You never said differently.”

“He’s bi, but he’s never advertised it. Before coming here, he kept his sexuality under wraps. Anyhow, one summer when I was in college, a friend of mine was having this boat party. I took Kaiden along. He ended up secretly hooking up with this guy I couldn’t fucking stand. Leo Murray. Leo had a reputation as a real dick. Knowing Kaiden had disappeared with him irked me, so I got myself really fucking hammered. A while later, I couldn’t stand it anymore, and I went to look for them.

“Outside this room on the lower deck, I heard arguing. I barged into the room and found Leo practically forcing himself on Kai. Kai was trying to throw him off and telling him to get lost, so I stepped in, so hot with anger I saw red. I threw Leo out of the room on his ass and locked the door so I could ensure Kai was all right.

“Instead of being grateful I’d helped, he was mad that I didn’t let him handle it himself. We argued. I called him an idiot and a bunch of other choice words. When he launched himself at me in anger, I shoved him against the wall and got right in his face, telling him to cool the fuck off.”

I scrubbed a hand down my face.

“I was drunk. That time when I threw my weight around was no different than before, except I acted on what I saw. Getting firm with Kaiden caused a reaction between us. Kinda flared something to life. He liked when I took control and told him what to do. I liked seeing the submission in his eyes. It was fucked up, and I couldn’t understand it. When I was sober, it was easier to ignore, or make excuses, pretend it wasn’t real.”

“But you weren’t sober.”

“No. I kissed him. Shoved him against the wall and just kissed him. I crossed the line, and it ruined us.”

“And you ran from South Bell.”

“Yeah. Kaiden was livid. He wouldn’t talk to me. I didn’t blame him, I was stunned at what had happened and had no explanation for it. I was ashamed, embarrassed, angry, and really fucking confused because I couldn’t shake the feeling inside.”

Jagger’s gaze was on me, but I couldn’t meet his eyes. He was my best friend, and I didn’t know how to explain what everyone deemed to be so wrong.

“So when you brought him here, I’m guessing he was less than pleased.”

I laughed. “When I brought him here, Kaiden started pushing my buttons. What I didn’t sort out at first was that he was doing it on purpose. He was looking for that flare between us again. He was testing it. Curious. And then one night he tried to blatantly force it from me. Told me to cross that line. But that time, he was the one who was drunk. So I wouldn’t. Those feelings never went away, Jag. It didn’t matter how wrong they were. I told him if it was something he wanted, he needed to approach me sober.”

“And he did?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you happy?”

I met his gaze. He was asking sincerely. “Yes, I am. We both are.”

Jagger nodded once and shifted to peer out the window again. “Okay. Then don’t fuck it up. My job is on the line now, too.”

We sat in companionable silence for a long time. When a thought struck me suddenly, I jerked upright and scrambled for my phone.

“Shit, I was supposed to call Kai. He’ll be worried sick. He’s probably packing the house up ready to run.”

Jagger stopped me with a hand on my wrist. “Just take me back to the school so I can get my car then go home to him. Tell him in person.”

“Are we okay?” I asked, still catching hints of unease in Jagger’s eyes.

“We’re fine. I’ll always have your back, Em. Even if I don’t always get it.”