“What are you going to do?” Lizzie asks me on Wednesday.

We’re behind the counter at the bakery together, and it’s quiet between the breakfast and lunch rush. I told her the news before we opened.

“I don’t know,” I say. “I don’t know how to tell him.”

Lizzie isn’t just my shop assistant. She’s also my best friend. We studied business together, but she doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life, so I gave her a job in the shop until she decides. After five years, she’s still here.

I haven’t told Paul what’s going on yet. I don’t know how to break it to him. He hasn’t been in the best mood lately. He works very hard, and he’s stressed.

“They didn’t call him, too?” Lizzie asks. Her dark hair is pulled up in a ponytail, and she stopped bothering with contact lenses years ago. Her glasses suit her, dark rims to match her hair.

“I told them I would speak to him. They couldn’t get a hold of him, earlier.”

“You’re going to have to tell him, at some point.”

I nod. I know that. I just don’t know how I feel about everything. I agreed to marry him because he agreed to keep my secret. I dedicated myself to this marriage to be safe, even though I’m not completely happy. If he finds out, we can just go through the motions again, but a part of me feels like it’s a freedom I didn’t expect. If I tell Paul, he’ll want to set it straight, and I don’t know if have what it takes to give up my life a second time.

The door opens and Paul walks in. Lizzie glances at me before she turns to the coffee machine, leaving me to deal with my husband.

“What a surprise,” I say, smiling.

“Do you know that you and Parker always say the same thing when you hear from me unexpectedly?” he asks.

I smile, shaking my head. “That’s funny,” I say.

Paul’s face doesn’t look like he thinks it’s funny.

“Where have you been?” he asks.

I frown at him, the smile slipping.

“What do you mean?” I ask. I glance at Lizzie, whose back is still turned to me so I can’t read her face. I’m glad no one is in the shop right now. I don’t like it when he gets like this in public.

“You’ve barely been home,” he says, and he sounds like he’s scolding me.

“I’ve hardly been out partying,” I say. “I’ve been at work. You know that.”

He sighs and tugs at his blazer like he’s uncomfortable in it. “You come in early, you leave late. Is there a reason for this?”

I swallow. I haven’t exactly been spending time at home. I’m trying to avoid Paul because I don’t know how to speak to him about the news, and I don’t know how to pretend nothing’s wrong.

“I’ve had specials running, and there are more customers to deal with. That means I have to bake more as well.”

Paul doesn’t look happy. “Then hire more assistants,” he says.

I shake my head. “I don’t have the money for that right now.”

If it was anyone but Lizzie with me, I would have been embarrassed that Paul is cross-examining me like this.

“This is exactly why I didn’t want you to do this. You’re never home. Your place is in the kitchen at home, taking care of your husband.”

I raise my eyebrows at him, folding my arms over my chest.

“I don’t remember us agreeing that I would be your personal servant when we got married,” I say. Lizzie clears her throat and disappears to the kitchen. I drop my voice so she won’t hear me. “Why don’t you get yourself a man to spend your time with, and I’ll stay in the shop and do what I love.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Skylar,” Paul says. I know he can’t say anything to that. It’s because of me he got the business at all. If he dated men the way he wants to, his father might not have given him the family business. As a first born, that is unfathomable to Paul. He would rather lie and cheat than be honest about who and what he is.

“I don’t like your attitude,” he says to me before he turns and leaves the shop.

I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding. Lizzie appears a moment later.

“Is he always like this?” Lizzie asks.

I sigh. “He has his moments.”

Lizzie shakes her head. “I know you love this guy, but I still don’t get it,” she says.

She was my maid of honor. Not even Lizzie knows why I married Paul. I wouldn’t mind her knowing that he’s gay and I’m only with him to make sure he gets what he needs in life. But I don’t want her knowing what I did. If I tell her and Paul finds out, he’ll reveal my secret as well. I don’t want to risk that, so not even Lizzie knows.

The rest of the day slips by easily. When there is no friction, my days are filled with happy customers and pastries. Jack pops in just after lunch with a new idea for specials, and by five, Lizzie and Jack both leave. I’m about to lock up when Parker appears. I smile and open the door for him.

“You’re just in time for a cup of coffee,” I say. “I was about to lock up.”

Parker smiles. I lock up and walk to a coffee machine. When I turn around, he’s right in front of me again. He followed me behind the counter where there is no space.

Being this close to him always messes with my head.

“Let’s sit down,” I say to him.

He nods, but he doesn’t move. I can smell his cologne and the smell of summer that clings to his clothes. His eyes are the color of the sky today. It’s because of the blue shirt he’s wearing with his jeans.

“I came to see if you’re okay,” Parker says. His voice is soft, and his face is concerned.

I think about lying to him, but this is Parker. I shake my head. “To be honest, I don’t know if I am. I haven’t told him yet. I’ve barely been home.”

Parker frowns. “You’re not sure if you want to be married to him?”

I swallow. I don’t answer him. It won’t be fair. My lack of response is an answer by itself, though. Parker lifts a hand and brushes his fingertips down my cheek. We touch often, he always hugs me, but this is different. My breath hitches in my throat.

“What are you doing?” I ask in a whisper.

“Touching your cheek,” he says, stating the obvious.

I shake my head. The atmosphere is charged with something delicious. Delicious and dangerous.

“I can’t do this,” I say. “I’m—”

“Married?” Parker shakes his head and brushes a strand of hair out of my face, his eyes tracing my profile. “Not exactly.”

Parker dips his head and inches toward me. I see it all happening in slow motion, his lips–perfect and soft–move toward me. I can’t stop him. I’m not sure if I want to. Before I have a chance to argue with myself, his lips press against mine, and every thought I might have had slips out of my grasp. Parker’s hand is on my cheek, and I kiss him back.

A desire roars inside me, out of nowhere, and the kiss is suddenly urgent. I open my mouth, and Parker slips his tongue in my mouth, tasting me. I put my arms around his neck, pressing our bodies together. His hands slide down my back. One lands on my ass and squeezes. The other moves to my front, and he cups my breast through my shirt. My body screams with lust for him.

All the desire for Parker that I locked up for years washes over me like a dam wall burst, and I can barely breathe, it’s so strong. I gasp, breathing hard.

I remember we’re in front of full-length windows, and I break the kiss.

“Oh, my God,” I say, pressing my fingers against my lips. This is the biggest mistake. It’s big, and it’s… right.

“I’m sorry,” Parker says. “That was way out of line.”

I shake my head and walk toward the door, checking that it’s locked. I switch off the lights.

“Skylar,” Parker says.

I walk to him, take his hand, and lead him to my office. I close the office door and turn back to Parker. Without a word, I kiss him again. This is all wrong. I know I shouldn’t be doing this. For years, I’ve been denying myself what I want because of Paul and all the secrets and lies, and I’m tired. I don’t want to stop myself anymore. I don’t want to think about anything.

And Parker is right. I’m not exactly married.

Somewhere in the back of my mind a little voice screams at me that I’m not doing the right thing, but I’m swept away by lust, and I don’t want to think straight.

Parker moves me toward my desk while we’re kissing and groping each other. I reach behind me when my legs hit the desk and push the papers to the side. My pencil holder and two files fall onto the floor.

“I’ll help you pick that up, later,” Parker says before he picks me up onto the desk.

I wrap my legs around his and pull him closer to me. His hands find my breasts, and he massages them through the shirt. I gasp into his mouth. My nipples are erect, straining against the shirt, and all I can think about is Parker and that I want more of him.