“So, is everyone ready?” Ryan asks us. His eyes roam over the script in his hands, but then he raises them and looks around the table. Everyone nods at once and I just follow suit, looking down at the script in front of me even though I already know every single line by heart.

Ever since I put my name over the dotted line on the contract, I’ve been a nervous wreck. I’m constantly plagued by feelings of insecurity (what if I suck? What if viewers hate my character?), and I’ve decided to counter that by working like a woman possessed. Maybe I went a little overboard with it, though. I even memorized the lines of every single character in this scene, which means that my mind is completely flooded with words. Still, I don't want to mess up my delivery by jumping in too early or too late, and so I decided to know the whole scene from the inside out.

“Alright, let’s give it a go then,” Ryan says, waving one hand around the table as our cue to begin. We’re doing a table read today, which means we’re more or less just reading the lines while staying in character. It’s basically foreplay, really; something to warm us up and iron out the kinks before we move onto the main event, the one happening while the cameras roll.

“Fuck, I need a drink…” Kane whispers softly, running one hand through his hair as he leans back against his seat. His voice is fraught with tension, as if he’s under pressure; it truly feels as if his soul has left his body, and his character took the reigns. Now that’s acting. And he hasn’t opened his script which means that, just like me, he also knows his lines by heart.

“Go easy on the drink, okay?” Jasmine starts, whispering as if she’s afraid someone might overhear her. She and Stefan, the dark-haired guy sitting next to her, play a set of twins that basically represent the loyalists to Kane’s character. While his character is surrounded from all sides by backstabbers, these two are his constant backup and occasional comic relief.

“Yeah…” Stefan agrees, nodding. “There are a lot of eyeballs on you right now.”

“I know that,” he replies, and I feel my heart quickening its pace as he looks at me. That’s what the script says he should be doing, but his presence is so natural that I almost believe we’re actually in a cocktail party right now.

“Here,” I say after waiting for a few seconds. Supposedly, my character is handing Kane a drink, but I just look at him as I continue to speak. “You look like you need a drink.”

“Yeah,” he says, his voice heavy. “But a drink isn’t the only thing I need.” Right now, his eyes seem to be burning with lust, and I feel the hair on the back of my neck standing up.

“Then why don’t you take it? You’re the kind of man that takes what he wants, aren’t you?” I tease him, carefully purring my words.

“It’s wrong…” He continues, this time lowering his gaze and leaning back. “It’s fucking wrong,” he repeats, balling one hand into a fist.

“Maybe that’s why it feels so right…” I reply, lowering my voice so much that it actually feels as if I’m whispering these words into his ear. I’m about to move on to my next line when Alberta’s voice explodes in the silence of the room.

“Isn’t that too over the top?” She asks out of the blue, raising her voice high enough to break all the tension we’ve just built. Everybody seems to slump over the desk and, just like that, the spell is broken; everyone’s out of character, and the moment has been ruined. “I mean, I don’t want to direct you guys...But I felt that was a bit too much,” she continues with a shrug, drumming her fingers against the table.

“You just ruined the scene,” Kane tells her with a frustrated sigh, looking at Alberta with an annoyed expression. “It was working.”

“It didn’t feel like it was working to me. Sasha’s definitely overacting,” she shoots back at Kane, and I feel myself shrink in my seat. My first scene, and I’m already being accused of overacting? “Don’t feel bad. You’re still inexperienced,” she then adds, looking at me as if I were as important as a fly on the wall. She can act, yeah, but she also has a gift for making people feel uncomfortable.

“I was just doing what’s on the script,” I try to defend myself, but Alberta doesn’t even seem to be listening to me. She just moves her gaze away from me and looks at Ryan, almost as if she expects him to agree with her. Luckily for me, he just remains silent, watching the scene and waiting to see how the rest of the table reacts.

“Come on, guys. You don’t need to be nice to Sasha just because she’s new. I’m fairly sure she can take the criticism and, besides —”

“That's uncalled for, Alberta” Jasmine suddenly pitches, her voice stern and confident. Unlike most of the production staff, she doesn’t seem to give a damn about how much of a star Alberta is. And Alberta can’t ignore her just like she did to me; after all, Jasmine is one of the most beloved members of the cast. “Sasha was doing great.”

“I don’t agree,” Alberta insists, looking around the room as if she’s begging for someone else to speak up and back her. Everyone just looks down, though, allowing a somber silence to take over the room. “Okay, whatever. You guys do it however you like. I was just giving my opinion,” she finishes, acting like a misunderstood genius.

“Alright, alright...Let’s just take a break,” Ryan pitches in and, almost at once, every single person in the room gets up and starts ambling toward the door.