I sat in the sheriff’s office, Beckett hanging around by the door nervously. Three months had passed since Rae left. I frowned at Hollis once or twice waiting for him to end his call. If he didn’t hang up soon, I was going to do it for him.

As soon as he set the receiver to his office phone back down in the cradle, I pierced him with my stare.

“Where’s Rae?”

“You’re not going to like this son.” I wasn’t his fucking son. Beckett was standing right there. Boss your own kid around but not me. Don’t patronize me asshole.

“Where the hell is Rae?” I asked again, this time accentuating every word.

He blinked, looking genuinely apologetic, “I’m sorry Pete, I can’t say.”

“That wasn’t part of our deal,” I growled, standing. “You promised to give me her location.”

“And I would, if I had it, which I don’t.”

What? I slumped back into the chair, knowing the feds had screwed me over, just like I knew they would. “What the fuck happened?”

“The case was yanked from my hands and they played the trump card. No jurisdiction. They’re working a deal on a case they’ve been gathering evidence on for the last decade Pete. I don’t know a lot, but I do know it has something to do with RICO, the RRMC, and the affiliation with the Outlaws. It’s a big fucking mess to be honest.”

Hollis tipped his hat back off his forehead and pulled out a pack of smokes, tossing it in my direction.

“What’s RICO go to do with anything? It’s a damn Act created for organized crime back in the 60’s. The RRMC doesn’t earn like that,” I reminded him, lighting up a cigarette before I tossed the pack back. “We have legit business dealings and investments. Ron spent years gaining those alliances and trust,” I knew that much from Mack. He told me years ago.

Hollis lit up his own cig and took a few long drags, spitting tobacco out the side of his mouth. “Look, we both think we know how the RRMC earns, but the truth is you aren’t in that deep yet. Once you’re full patch and Rafe trusts you, then we can find out the truth and his connection to Striker and the Outlaws.”

“That’s an awfully risky gamble, especially for me,” I pointed out.

“What does it matter now? Rae’s out of danger and we both know Mack isn’t going to do shit, so you’re the only choice. After the way this goddamn nightmare went down, we need you to patch the club and see how things progress. You’re stuck in this life one way or another, said so yourself son just a few minutes ago, so the question is, you gonna do it for you and Rae or let that asshole Rafe continue to control everything?”

“How do I know I can find her? She could be anywhere in the U.S. right now.”

“You join the RRMC and infiltrate and I’ll do my best to locate where Rae is living. At least down to a city if nothing else.”

Beckett sat on the edge of his father’s desk and looked right into my eyes. “I’ll find her, I swear it.”

I nodded, knowing if it could be done Beckett would find a way.

“There’s something else you should know Pete,” Hollis sounded hesitant.

Beckett stiffened next to him which wasn’t a good sign.

“What?” I asked warily, folding my arms over my chest. This better be important.

“Leah is alive.”

My jaw dropped. “Rae’s little sister isn’t dead?” I was shocked, “How?”

The sheriff shook his head, sighing, “No, the feds separated them and thought it best not to mention the little girl survived her wounds. They’re in danger. Leah was placed in foster care with a nice family. I personally vetted them. It’s best for now that Rae doesn’t know the full extent of the carnage and lies.”

“Better for who?” I asked, furious. “That’s her blood. Rae has a right to know.”

“The feds disagree.”

“Fuck them! She’s already lost her parents, and now she’s separated from everyone she’s known and loved her whole life.” I stood up and punched the wall, my temper soaring to dangerous heights, “This is bullshit!”

“Calm down Edge.”

“Don’t fucking call me that! I want to go to Rae. Now. She needs me.”

Hollis sat forward, scrubbing his hand across his face, “That’s not going to happen. You’re needed in the club.”

What!? I spun and slammed my fist down on the desk making him jump, “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

The sheriff eyed me coolly and reined in his temper. Smart move considering I could probably kick his ass, “The only way you’re going to get her back is to play their game . . . and beat them, not lose your goddamn temper in my office.”

I was so pissed off I had to gulp great mouthfuls of air to keep from reaching across the desk and strangling Sheriff Daly with my bare hands, “Rafe already thinks I betrayed him. How the fuck am I supposed to convince him I’m not a NARC or a threat?”

“Leave that to me, Pete.”

Not a convincing statement. I scoffed, “Listen here, Sheriff, I don’t take orders from you and I won’t be a pawn for you or Rafe, so you better start talking if you want my cooperation.”

Beckett placed his hand on my shoulder, “Shane and I have your back man, same as always.”

I knew that, but it didn’t change facts, “Listen, this is a lot to take in while my girl is out there hurting. She’s the one who’s innocent in all of this. So is Leah. They deserve better than the treatment they’re receiving.”

“I agree, but we can’t change that right now. We’ve got to take it one step at a time.”

“I’m not giving up.”

No way. I’d never stop searching for Rae or trying to bring her back into my life. Maybe that was selfish, but I didn’t give a fuck.

“I didn’t think you would,” Hollis stood, flipping his cigarette butt into an ashtray. “Listen, you need to understand that we won’t play favorites anymore. We’re gonna be hard on you Pete. This has to look real and be convincing. Rafe needs to think you’ve been abandoned by us, Mack, and Rae. Only then will he think you’re broken enough and trust you.”

“Fine,” I grumbled, walking from the office and slamming the door on the way out.

I’d already signed my life over to Rafe and now this bullshit.

If I didn’t find Rae soon, someone was going to pay . . .

***

FIVE YEARS LATER I, Peter “Edge” Harding, was a bitter, angry, and violent man headed down a path of self-destruction. The more time that past, the more I resented my current set of circumstances.

I woke up to the blaring alarm on my cell and sat right up, hitting end on the phone.

Midnight.

My thoughts came back to the present and shook off the memories of the past, focusing as I picked up the white cupcake with rainbow swirls GQ bought only a few hours before I arrived and lit a single pale pink candle. So softly that no one would have heard me, I sang happy birthday to my beloved Rae in the silent air, my voice hoarse and choking on the raw emotion, and blinked back stinging tears. She was twenty-two now.

Five times. Five birthdays without my baby. Five long agonizing years.

“I love you, Rae,” I whispered into the dark. “Happy birthday my love.”

Wherever she was, I hoped she was surrounded by friends and people who loved her.

I didn’t have the heart to blow out the candle and snuffed the flame with my fingers, setting both the cupcake and picture frame down on my desk. Opening the top drawer my eyes fell on the four previous birthday presents as I added the new gift, wrapped and bought per my instructions to GQ. I dropped the box into the drawer staring in silent misery.

I felt abandoned and alone, lonely and heartbroken, sad and anxious. Every year it was the same. The feeling always lingered, even in a crowded room. No matter what I did or who I was with, that feeling never went away. Not in five long, painful years.

I don’t think it ever will.

For a minute I let all those pesky feelings overtake me and then I stood, grabbed my boxing gloves, and slipped from the clubhouse. Most nights when I was unable to sleep I usually ended up in the ring or working out to the point of exhaustion. Tonight the booze might take its toll, but I would push my body anyway. If I didn’t, I’d be overcome with thoughts and dreams of Rae, and for once I wanted to forget the beautiful slim brunette and the ache that never seemed to subside inside my chest.

In the minutes that followed, I took my aggression out on the sturdy punching bag dangling from the gym ceiling. I decided I couldn’t take another day.

No more. Not another minute.

I swore not another hour would pass before I did what I had to do to locate Rae . . .

Even if I had to burn the entire fucking world to the ground to find her.