I couldn’t seem to stop shaking. My whole body shivered like I was freezing, but it had to be the adrenaline. I wasn’t cold at all. I don’t remember how I got upstairs. Did I walk?

“Shhh, baby,” Peter was holding me in his arms, leading us over to the bed. “Everything is going to be alright. You’ll see.”

I didn’t answer, tired of hearing him say that when it wasn’t true.

The next time he told me I was going to go off on him.

“She’s in shock,” R.J. blurted as Pete shot him a shut the fuck up glare.

The first thing I noticed was my body overheated. I lifted my t-shirt over my head and tossed it aside, leaving my tank. My jeans hit the floor next. “I’m hot,” I complained, walking to my window and pushing it all the way open.

“You want anything, Rae?” R.J.’s voice was soft.

I shook my head, distracted, “No.”

Wincing, I noticed the pain in my lip. It throbbed like a bee sting and was hot and swollen. Peter led me into the bathroom where he picked up a washcloth and ran it under warm water. A tick in his jaw revealed his anger as he pressed the cloth to the corner of my split lip, “I’m sorry.”

There wasn’t space in my head for apologies or secrets. Not now. I could only stare at him, unable to respond.

His hand cupped my cheek, “I know.”

He always knew how I felt, perhaps even before I did. For once, I was grateful for that, “Pet.”

Without hesitation he lowered his head and nuzzled his nose to mine, and then I was lifted as he carried me back into the room, curling his body around mine protectively. My shaky hands gripped his shoulders tight and slid around his neck. I didn’t miss the way his voice caught when he whispered close to my ear, “I’ve got you. Always.”

“We’re here Rae,” R.J. assured me, his eyes holding a combination of anger, concern, and love.

As if the thought only occurred to me right this moment, my eyes darted around the room in fear. That biker Devlin had been here. I could still smell the faint stale stench of his cheap cologne and cigarette smoke. Before I could stop them, tears filled my eyes and slipped down my cheeks.

“Baby, I’m here,” Peter whispered and lay down next to me on the bed, his hand holding mine.

R.J. walked toward my bedroom door, obviously thinking it was time to leave.

“Don’t go R.J.,” I begged him.

He paused as his eyes met mine, uncertain, “You want me to stay?”

I lifted my hand as he approached the bed, “Yes, I’m scared.”

R.J. slid next to me as I picked up his hand and held it. He sank to the bed on my left, opposite Pete and clenched our fingers together. I lifted my eyes to Peter, hoping he understood, “I need you both.”

He kissed my forehead and nodded, “Rest now. We’ll both stay.”

I sighed, the tension leaving my body, as I sought to escape reality.

If only that were possible . . .

***

I WAS RUNNING, FAST and hard, pumping my arms and laughing, speeding past the tall, dark-haired man and a beautiful blonde woman who stood close by their hands intertwined. Her smile was kind and patient, her eyes glowing orbs of emerald green that brightened when she caught me.

“My little Peter,” she cooed, clutching me to her chest. “I love you so much.”

“Mama,” I laughed, tugging on her hand and pulling her away, “I want to play.”

“I know you do my little son, but it’s not safe. Not today.”

Sulking I began to pout. She never wanted to play anymore, “Please?”

“No, my darling. You must understand. You’re in danger,” she patiently tried to explain, but I wasn’t old enough to see past my own selfish needs.

“I want to play!” I yelled and ran away from her, running into the park.

Redwood trees lined the border of the wildlife preserve. Up ahead I could see a green mist floating along the ground, curling spirals reached out into the atmosphere with gnarled fingers.

“Peter! Come back!”

The frantic tone of my mother’s voice halted my steps. I turned around to walk back when I was engulfed by the mist, and the green glow grew heavier and thicker. I couldn’t see my mother.

Panic filled my chest.

“Mama!” The sound of my small frightened voice was unnatural. Unfamiliar.

“Peter?” Her voice called to me, but it was farther away.

“Mama, I’ll find you.”

“Peter . . .”

I could feel her slipping away, further from reach, her voice fading as it rode the current of the wind, “Peter . . . find me.”

I spun in every direction but could find no trace of her. Falling to my knees, I cried out in despair, “Mother . . .”

***

“MOTHER,” I WHISPERED, jolting awake in my bed, drenched in a cold sweat.

So real. So sad. I was always left with a terrible ache.

This dream of my mother was always the same, filled with that haunting greenish glow, the surrounding mist, and a man I didn’t recognize. Confused, I never understood the full extent of what the dream was trying to reveal. The nightmare had repeated my entire life since I was a child. It never made sense. The only thing I knew with certainty was that I felt the urgency to act and protect myself along with Rae for some weird reason but beyond that I couldn’t say.

When I was young I used to bring it up to Mack, but he always brushed me off and quickly dismissed my ramblings, stating that I was only a child and such things could never be real.

As I grew older, I knew there was more and the dreams weren’t my imagination. Something else was happening. In the last two years these dreams had intensified and occurred more frequently. Maybe that’s why I was always so concerned with Rae.

I huddled back down in the covers, drenched in a cold sweat and reached for my girl, covering her with my arm and spooning her in case she awakened with her own nightmares. I shivered and snuggled closer as I dropped a kiss on her bare shoulder. Rae was my anchor. Even when life went to shit, she was the one person who grounded me and helped make sense of chaos.

When she spoke my name softly only a minute later, I began to wonder if she had these dreams like me . . .

And if she did, was I her anchor too?