Though she’d been there before, the circumstances were much different when Sara saw Saxton’s house this time. It was light and she wasn’t under extreme distress, so she was able to notice more and feel even more inadequate in his presence.
His house felt enormous to Sara. Far more than any single man needed, surely. The hardwood floors and large rooms, the new appliances and updated rooms, all screamed far more money than she had. Far more than she ever hoped to have. Her tiny apartment with its barely functioning stove and fridge, with its stained and worn carpets and outdated everything, was a world away from Saxton’s house. She tried to put it out of her mind and focus on helping him. She could feel sorry for herself later, after she’d gotten him settled.
Sara walked back out to her car, which was sitting in the extra spot in his garage. “Ready?” She’d opened the door to the house to make their passage as easy as possible. Now, she slid her arm under his shoulders and helped him stand.
Saxton grunted in pain, but pushed himself to his feet. “How’d you get so strong?”
“Mommy muscles. Carry around a forty-five pound kid and heavy trays of food all day and you’d be strong, too.”
He smirked. “I carry a lot more than that when I work out.”
“I’m sure.” She didn’t want to think about his strong muscles. His arms—bare in his thin hospital gown—were thick and solid. Where her hand rested on his waist, she could feel his taught abdomen. If she thought about it too much, she started to get warm all over. He was far too good looking to be so muscular and so close.
They made their way into his house and to his bedroom, where he sat on the edge of the bed. She knelt in front of him and pulled off his shoes. But his pants needed to come off, too.
She gulped. “Stand up so I can take your pants off.”
His eyes turned slightly devilish and a grin played around his lips as he pushed back up to stand, now barefooted on the hardwood floor.
Sara unzipped his jeans and pushed them down with some difficulty since they were so stiff with blood and dirt. He stepped out, and she looked away as the hospital gown fell and covered his naked lower half. She walked to his closet and pulled out a t-shirt and sweatpants, then a pair of clean boxers from his dresser. He was just someone who needed to be taken care of, that was all. If she could think of him that way, that she was just there to take care of him, like she took care of her son every day, then it was easier to separate him from the fact that she had wanted so badly to peek at him when his bare groin was in front of her.
She kept her eyes on the floor as she held open his boxer shorts. She pulled them into place, turning her head as she stood so she wasn’t face to face with him. Then she did the same with his sweatpants.
“Can you lift your arms?” she asked.
He slowly raised them into the air until she could slide his shirt over his hands and his head and pull it down to cover his washboard stomach. This would be so much easier if he wasn’t so hot.
“Let’s get you into bed.” She tossed back his covers and supported his shoulders as he slid into bed. “Is your pillow okay? Do you need more blankets or anything?”
“I’m fine, Mom,” he mumbled sarcastically as he closed his eyes.
“I just want you to be comfortable so you can heal up.”
“Tomorrow I’m getting up and getting back out there,” he said. “I have things to do.”
“Tomorrow? Saxton, you can barely walk. If you push it, you’ll make it worse. Whatever it is can wait.”
“It can’t.”
“Well, it’s going to have to. I’m not going to let you hurt yourself worse just because you’re stubborn.”
His eyes flashed open and burned with anger. “You will not tell me what to do.”
Sara swallowed and took a step back. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to, I just… I don’t want to see you hurt worse than you are. You need time to heal.”
“Then let me sleep.”
He closed his eyes again and Sara backed out of the room. She closed the door and took a few breaths. His anger was a reality check. She could never forget that he was a biker, a criminal, a bad boy. And the reason that she never went for guys like her brother was because of things like that. They had tempers, they got violent, they ended up in jail over whatever crime they committed this week. They weren’t worth it. But she owed him. She could take care of him, make sure he healed well, and then let him go. For all he had done for her, she owed him that much, at least.
In about an hour, she had to pick up Ian. And that could be an issue. Patty wasn’t available today. That’s why she had off Thursdays. It was Patty’s day to go to bingo and do her grocery shopping. Though Sara usually picked up a few hours while Ian was at school, this was their night together every week. There was a neighbor girl who watched Ian on the rare occasion that Patty wasn’t available and Sara had to work. But she didn’t do it for free like Patty did. And Sara didn’t have any extra money for a sitter right now. Everything she’d gotten from Saxton had gone to the school. So, she really had just one choice left. Bring Ian here.
In her time before she had to leave, Sara cleaned up. She did the dishes, wiped the counter, straightened his paperwork into neat piles, and swept the floor. She only had time to squirt some cleaner into the toilet in the downstairs bathroom before she had to go. She would clean more later. She wrote a note saying she’d be back soon, left it on his bedside table when she checked on him, and walked out to her car.
She pulled up to the school, to the circle where the parents waited while their kids streamed out of the large brick building. She kept her eyes peeled for the bright green backpack and when she saw him, hopped out of the car and waved her arms over her head to get his attention. Ian grinned and waved back, then broke into a run.
“Mommy!” Ian jumped into her arms.
Sara squeezed him and kissed his head. “Hi sweetie. Did you have a good day?”
“Today we got to paint with finger paints!” He held up his hand, where there was a slight bluish tint remaining on his skin.
“Wow! What did you paint?” She opened the backdoor and got him buckled in his booster seat, then tossed his book bag in beside him.
“The ocean. And some fish. They’re getting eaten by a giant whale.”
Sara slid into place in the driver’s seat and started the car. “Sounds terrifying.”
“That’s just how the ocean is.”
She chuckled. “I’m sure it is.”
This could be tricky. How would she explain Saxton and why they were going to his house? While she was cleaning, she’d tried to come up with some ideas, but nothing seemed good enough. Ian had a habit of asking a lot of questions.
“We’re going to do something a little different tonight,” Sara said as she pulled out of the school parking lot and turned onto the road. “We’re going to visit a friend of mine. He’s very sick and needs us to take care of him.”
“Does he have a cold?”
“It’s a little worse than that. He was hurt real bad and can’t even walk too well.”
“Did he fall off the jungle gym?”
“Nope, nothing like that.” How do you explain a knife fight to a six-year-old? “He has a real bad cut and some bruises. We’re going to stay at his house until he gets better.”
“Okay.” Ian dug in his backpack and pulled out his toy sailboat. He zoomed it back and forth over his legs. Knee Ocean, he often called it, in his child’s imagination. He loved boats and things in the ocean.
When they pulled up to Saxton’s house, Sara turned in the seat to face Ian. “I need you to be real quiet when we go inside, okay? He might be sleeping.”
“What’s your friend’s name?”
“Saxton. This is his house.”
Ian nodded and looked up at the house wide-eyed. “How many people live here?”
“Just him. Stay here a second.” She hopped out of the car, dashed inside to the garage and pressed the button to open the garage door before getting back in the car and pulling in.
Ian got out of the car and put his backpack over his shoulder. “He could fit a lot more people in there.”
Why did Saxton have such a huge place if he was single? Not like he had a wife and kids to fill the rooms. Sara could only dream of having something like this for her son to grown up in. It almost felt like a waste that just one man lived there while her and Ian were crammed into such a tiny space. But, that’s what illegal activity got you. Big risk, but big money.
“Well, I guess some people just like having more space.” Sara locked the car and took Ian’s hand to lead him inside the house.
She pointed to the round wooden table in the corner of the kitchen. “Why don’t you sit there and do your homework?”
“I don’t have any homework.” He dropped his book bag loudly on the floor.
Sara cringed. “We need to be more quiet, okay?”
“Is your friend still sleeping?”
“Maybe. I’ll check. Just sit here and play quietly.”
Sara walked lightly up the stairs to Saxton’s room. She pushed opened the door, and he opened his eyes to look at her.
“You’re awake.”
“Yup. Who’s here?”
She stepped into the room and shut the door behind her. “I had to get my son from school. Is that okay?”
He took a moment to answer. “I don’t know that the place is safe for kids. I have weapons everywhere.”
“I won’t let him get into anything. I just can’t afford a sitter and and my neighbor had bingo today.”
“Can’t afford it?” He pushed himself up so that he was sitting against the headboard. “What happened to the eight grand?”
Sara scratched the back of her neck. “It all had to go to his schooling. I owed them some money and that paid for back tuition and most of the rest of the year.”
He nodded. “And now you’re back to struggling to pay bills?”
She shrugged. “That’s how it’s always been, I guess.”
“That’s a shitty way to live.”
“It’s what I’m used to.”
“Doesn’t make it any less shitty.”
“And it also doesn’t change the facts. Being a single mom is expensive. I’m doing whatever I have to do to make ends meet.”
“What about his dad?” he asked.
“Long gone.”
“How much does he pay in child support?”
“You have to have a job and an address to pay child support.”
Saxton shook his head. “Low life.”
“Guess I know how to pick them, huh?”
He chuckled. “Is that why you’re still here? I’m just another low life you need to take care of?” Something of a challenge danced across his eyes while he waited for her answer.
“I sure hope not. You don’t seem like that type.”
He raised an eyebrow at her. “You think you know my type?”
Sara lifted a shoulder and his moment of anger from earlier came back to her mind. She really didn’t know him at all. “Maybe not.”
“I’m not a good guy. Not like the type of good guy you deserve.”
“Me?” She shook her head. “What makes you think I’m good enough to deserve someone good?”
“You are. I can see it. You’re a good mother. Probably would take real good care of your man. Cook him dinner and all that. You work hard to send your kid to an expensive school. You probably even go to church and teach Sunday school.”
Sara felt her face warm. He made her seem so simple. And he had her figured out completely. “I don’t teach Sunday school anymore. After church shifts can be very busy and profitable.”
He chuckled. “I’m not at all surprised. You’re just a good girl who needs a good man. And I’m nothing but trouble.”
“What makes you—”
“Mommy?” Ian pushed open the door and entered the room, a drawing clutched tight in his small hand. “Oh.” He looked at Saxton, then back at Sara.
“Go ahead downstairs,” she said, putting her hand on his shoulder. “I’ll be down in a minute.”
“Did you get punched?” Ian asked in awe, taking in the sight of the dark circles under Saxton’s eyes.
Saxton’s mouth pulled into a half smile. “Nope. I think I just look like he—crap because my body is healing.”
Sara gave him a look at his almost curse in front of Ian.
“What are you healing from?” Ian asked.
Saxton looked to Sara, asking with his expression if she should tell the full truth. She shook her head slightly and bent down to Ian.
“Remember I told you that he got a bad cut? Let’s go downstairs and let Saxton rest, okay?”
Sara took Ian’s hand and started to lead him from the room, but paused to look back at Saxton. “Do you need anything?”
He shook his head.
“I’ll go start dinner.”
“I could eat,” Saxton said.
Back in the kitchen, Sara made sure Ian was busy with his paper and crayons, then went to the cabinets to see what food Saxton had.
She opened cabinets and the refrigerator and freezer. He didn’t have much. Some boxes of pasta and ramen noodles. A stack of frozen pizzas in the freezer and a gallon of ice cream. In the cabinet he had cereal, oatmeal packets, an almost empty peanut butter jar, and spaghetti sauce. In the refrigerator was a carton of questionable milk, a few slices of cheese, and a jar of jalapeños.
She would have to do some shopping if she was going to stay and care for him. But for tonight, she took out the pasta and sauce, cheese, and jalapeños. Spaghetti would have to do. A few slices of jalapeño and the cheese would give it a little kick and punch up the taste. She got to work boiling the water and preparing the things to go into the sauce. She set out dishes and silverware and turned to Ian to have him set the table. But the place he’d been sitting was vacant. His crayons lay on the table in a pile and the paper he’d been drawing on was missing.