Chapter 22
Jameson
I need to ask her and maybe if I know why she’s so scared, I can convince her to stay with me. I think really hard and remember that she told me she likes to run every morning. During our late night chat, she described her usual route. Hopefully, she’s still doing it.
The next morning, I wait for Erin along the route of her run. It does feel a little creepy standing by for her. I see her turn the corner and get up from the bench I’d been sitting on. She doesn’t immediately notice me. I watch as she comes down the road.
She looks absolutely beautiful. Her eyes finally reach me and her pace slows. She takes a quick look around before her eyes settle on me again. I think she’s processing the fact that I’m here. She slowly jogs over to me, but still keeps a decent distance between us.
“What are you doing here?”
I’d prepared some words, but it all seems futile now. Erin isn’t someone I planned for and I can’t treat her like I do everything else in my life.
“I wanted to know why you left without saying goodbye.”
She looks a little uncomfortable, grabbing her arm and curling into her body a little. I want to hold her but I know now is not the time. Like Asher said, I need to be careful.
“I couldn’t say goodbye to your face. I was afraid that if… that if I spoke to you, I wouldn’t be able to leave and I needed to leave…”
“Come to dinner with me.”
I can see she’s not ready to completely open up yet. I need to put her at ease.
“I don’t know…”
“Come to dinner with me.”
I say it more forcibly now, knowing that she likes when I take charge. I know I can convince her if she gives me the chance. It’s already been established that she likes me— perhaps even loves me— but there is something holding her back. I have an idea of what it is, but I need confirmation.
I hear her mumble something, but I can’t quite make it out.
“What was that?”
A yes, perhaps?
“I said I’d go to dinner with you…” Her tone doesn’t betray much emotion, but she smiles and I take it as a good sign. “Just let me know where and I can meet you there. Okay?”
I let out a sound of agreement and lightly grab the hand she has resting on her upper arm. I entangle my fingers in hers.
“I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too.” I try and bring her in for a hug. She uses her other hand to stop me by placing it on my chest. “Wait! I’m all sweaty…”
She says this with a laugh and I can see her walls breaking down.
“I don’t mind.”
She drops her hand and lets me hug her. She looks up at me, her mouth slightly open. I really want to kiss her right now, but I don’t want to frighten her away again.
I move my face slowly towards hers, testing the waters. She doesn’t shirk away, so I place a soft kiss against her lips. Her mouth opens for mine immediately and she moves her tongue with mine.
It’s a kiss full of longing, but it’s also full of uncertainty. Neither one of us knows how this will turn out and I think we’re both a little scared. We break the kiss and I place my forehead against hers.
“I’ll see you tonight, then?
“Yes, tonight.”
I tell her where and when to meet me and then she removes her body from mine. I watch as she runs back home and I’m left to wonder if she’ll be there. I still don’t have her number which I believe is by Erin’s design. I can only trust she’ll come to dinner. Trust and hope.
I’m sitting at the restaurant, fingers crossed that Erin will be here soon. I arrived a little early to situate myself and try to calm myself down. A lot is riding on this night to go well for me. I’m going to mess it up. I finally see Erin being led to the table by the hostess. She’s dressed in a gorgeous dress. The shape of her body is on display, vastly different from what she usually wears. I’m already turned on. She takes her seat and the hostess leaves us alone.
“This place is really fancy.”
I did choose a fairly high-scale place. I guess I was trying to impress her. Look at me, making grand gestures.
“Do you like it?”
Was the gesture too grand? I can’t help but wonder. I may’ve gone overboard…
“I’ll have to try the food first, then I’ll know.”
She offers me a smirk and soon the waiter comes over to take our order. Erin gets the lamb and I go for my usual steak. As we sit and wait for our food, I sip on the wine I ordered. I notice Erin hasn’t tried it yet.
“Are you going to try the wine?”
She runs her finger along the rim of the glance, but doesn’t pick it up. She leans in and whispers,
“I’m not old enough to drink…”
Oh, right… Our massive age difference.
“I distinctly remember you taking a few sips of beer the first night I met you.”
“Oh, don’t remind me.”
The laughter drips out of her and I know that tonight will end up going well. We talk for a few more minutes before our meals arrive. It’s a nonconsequential conversation. I’m not ready to delve into the heavier stuff just yet.
Our food arrives and we both dig in. We eat in silence for a bit, enjoying the food, when Erin suddenly stops.
“Is this just a dinner?”
I hope not. I’d like tonight to be the official start of us. Us as a couple, a unit. Us together. But I don’t know how to say that, having never said it to anyone before.
“Would you like it to be more?” I ask.
Erin goes quiet. She looks down at her lap.
“Yes. I think so.”
I let out a sigh of relief. All this time I’d been worried that maybe she really didn’t want to see me ever again. Even when she showed up to dinner, a small voice in my head said she came out of pity, that she wouldn’t keep up the façade for this long.
Neither of us has finished our meals. Once the conversation took a turn, it seemed we’d both lost our appetites. Or maybe we gained an appetite for something else. I pay the check and we go to stand outside. I know neither one of us wants the night to end, but we’re not sure how to proceed.